Our Secrets and Lies

by Sinéad Moriarty

  ‘Hey.’ Jenny came over and zipped up her sister’s dress. ‘Why the long face?’

  Lucy fiddled with her earring. ‘Dad’s sixty-five and I’m not that far off forty. It’s just, well, I thought my life would be different.’

  Jenny hugged her. ‘Don’t look back and say “What if”, look back and say, “Wow, good job.” Picture watching Dylan scoring goals and Kelly graduating and you meeting some gorgeous divorcee who’ll sweep you off your feet, and when the kids are gone you can go back and study or, I don’t know, take up skydiving. Look at what you have achieved instead of what you haven’t.’

  Lucy’s life had been full of love, laughter, clapping and crying with pride because of the twins. She had loved wiping their tears, putting plasters on their knees, cuddling up with them and watching movies, adoring them … Much as she hated to admit it, her sister was right. She needed to look at the wonder that the twins were and how they had made her life very special. ‘I’m lucky, very lucky. Thanks for reminding me, sis.’

  ‘Any time. You look gorgeous, total MILF. If you dressed up like that more often, you certainly wouldn’t grow old alone or have to have sex with Damien any more. You could actually meet a really hot guy and have steaming sex. Come on, let’s have lots of drinks and some fun.’

  Lucy grinned. ‘Yes! I feel like getting tipsy and misbehaving, but I’ll have to wait until the twins go home to really let loose. Let’s go clubbing later.’

  ‘Woo-hoo, now you’re talking.’

  Billy knocked on the door. ‘Are you two ready yet? I’d like to eat before the restaurant closes.’

  ‘Keep your hair on, we’re coming.’ Jenny opened the door and went downstairs.

  Lucy followed and whistled when she saw her father standing on the landing. ‘You look nice, Dad.’

  Billy grinned. ‘Thanks. I decided to dress up.’

  Lucy kissed his cheek. ‘Happy birthday. Actually, hang on a sec. I have your gift here. I wanted to give this to you when it was quiet.’

  She went into her bedroom and grabbed a photo album from the chair, then went out and handed it to him. Billy opened it. It started with an old black-and-white photo of his parents on their wedding day. Photos of Billy on the day he’d bought the shop. Photos of him and Tina on their honeymoon, of Lucy as a baby, of Lucy holding Jenny’s hand at the seaside, behind the counter in the shop, photos of Billy holding Dylan’s hand as he proudly stood in his first football kit, Billy with Kelly wearing a tutu in his arms, her little hands wrapped around his neck …

  Billy got choked up. ‘This is wonderful.’

  ‘It took a while to get all the photos together, but I thought it would be nice for you to have all those memories in one book.’

  Billy cleared his throat. ‘It’s the best present you could have got me. As your mother always said, “Family is love, love is family.” ’

  ‘God, stop, you’ll have me crying now.’ Lucy wiped a tear away.

  ‘It’s true, though. Losing your mum so young made me realize how important family is. Thank God you were here, Lucy, and thank God the twins were here too. You got me through those dark days. I couldn’t have done it without you.’

  Lucy blinked back more tears. ‘I couldn’t have managed without you, Dad. You’ve been a rock to me and an incredible father figure for the twins.’

  ‘It’s been wonderful for me watching them grow up. You did an amazing job, Lucy. I worried about you doing it on your own, but you’ve raised two incredible children. You should be very proud of yourself.’

  Lucy couldn’t stop the tears spilling down. ‘Thanks, Dad. I did my best, and you played a big part in it too.’

  ‘It’s not been easy, you sacrificed a lot. But the pair of them are a credit to you.’

  ‘I’m so proud of them,’ Lucy said hoarsely. ‘I really am. I worried that not having a dad would damage them, but it didn’t.’

  ‘It didn’t because they had such a devoted mother,’ Billy said.

  ‘Let’s go,’ Jenny shouted up the stairs. ‘We’re all waiting for you two.’

  Lucy kissed Billy’s cheek, then they went down the stairs to join Jenny and the twins. Jenny flung open the front door and ushered them all outside. Kelly and Dylan were glued to their phones.

  ‘I swear to God, they never look up from those phones.’ Lucy sighed.

  ‘It’s called being a teenager.’ Jenny followed the twins out.

  ‘Let’s go, I’m looking forward to a drink,’ Billy said.

  ‘We just have to go to Sarah and Darren’s first,’ Lucy said. ‘Darren’s friend with the minibus is collecting us from their house.’

  Ollie was crouching behind the hedge waiting for them. As they pushed the garden gate open, a series of big bangs went off. Billy jumped backwards, stepping on Jenny’s toe.

  ‘Ouch!’ Jenny squealed.

  ‘What the hell?’ Billy shouted.

  ‘OLLIE!’ Darren roared. ‘I told you not to set those bangers off.’

  Ollie giggled. ‘Sorry, Billy, did I nearly give you a heart attack?’

  ‘Yes, you bloody did.’ Billy caught his breath. ‘Well, I’m glad to see you’re back to yourself after your accident.’

  ‘Will I call over to the shed tomorrow? I know it’s Sunday and I’m supposed to come on Mondays, but I have an idea of something cool I want to make.’

  ‘Please say yes, Billy,’ Darren begged.

  ‘Of course you can.’ Billy couldn’t say no to the kid. He still felt terrible about the finger incident, although the surgeon had said it was as good as new.

  ‘Sorry about the bangers,’ Darren said. ‘Come on in. My friend Mark is on his way to pick us up.’

  They walked into the house to be greeted by birthday balloons.

  ‘Happy birthday, Billy.’ Sarah rushed over to kiss him.

  ‘Thanks very much.’

  Shannon came down the stairs.

  ‘No way,’ Darren said. ‘It’s Billy’s birthday dinner, go and put on some clothes.’

  ‘It’s a dress,’ Shannon hissed.

  ‘It’s a handkerchief, and you’ll need it to wipe all that muck off your face. I want to see you in a dress that actually covers your arse.’

  ‘Mum!’ Shannon looked at Sarah.

  ‘Dad’s right, love, that’s not the right dress for Billy’s birthday dinner. Put on the red one with the black lace.’

  ‘The one that makes me look like a granny.’

  ‘Just put something on that doesn’t make you look like you charge by the hour,’ Darren said.

  Kelly came out of the restaurant kitchen holding the birthday cake.

  Billy grinned. ‘My favourite chocolate cake, made by my favourite granddaughter.’

  ‘She made it this morning and dropped it into the restaurant,’ Lucy whispered to him.

  Billy stood up and kissed Kelly. ‘Thank you, pet, you’re one in a million.’

  ‘I’ll have a large slice of that, thank you. I love Kelly’s chocolate cake,’ Darren said. ‘Any chance you could teach Shannon the recipe? Mind you, she burns toast, so maybe not.’

  ‘Thanks a lot, Dad. I may not be good at cooking, but I have many other talents.’

  Darren put his arm around her. ‘Sure don’t I know it.’

  Shannon shrugged him off. ‘You’re still in my bad books for saying I looked like a slapper in my other dress.’

  ‘Ah, come on, you know I love you.’ He kissed her forehead.

  ‘Get off me, Dad,’ she said, laughing.

  Jenny tapped her glass. ‘Speech time.’

  Lucy stood up. ‘Dad, Billy, Granddad – congratulations on making it to sixty-five. You look great and you’ve more energy than I do. Thanks for being a brilliant granddad. The twins have been so lucky to have you in their lives, and so have I. Thanks for letting us live with you and for being such a huge and integral part of our lives. Thanks for introducing Dylan to football. That day changed our lives – the twins wouldn’t be in St Jude’s if you hadn
’t brought Dylan down to the football club that day twelve years ago. Thanks for giving me work and a salary and a roof over our heads. Thanks for always having my back and never making me feel like I let you down. Thanks for supporting all of us through thick and thin but, most of all, thanks for being the best dad in the world.’

  Billy got up and hugged Lucy tightly. He whispered, ‘You’ve never let me down. I’m prouder of you than ever.’

  ‘Enough of this lovey-dovey stuff. I’d like to say a few words.’ Jenny stood up. ‘Billy is the man who scared off every boy who ever came near me. He is also the man who told me that make-up wasn’t a real job. Thanks for that, Dad, you made me determined to prove you wrong. Billy is also the man who told Mrs Fogerty to feck off when she called me a good-for-nothing. Billy is the man who gave me the money to pay the deposit on my apartment, which I’m going to pay back some day. Billy is the man who loved our mum more than life itself. He is the man who dragged himself out of his misery and heartbreak for me, for Lucy and for the twins. So, although you always made me feel like second best to perfect Lucy, I forgive you and I wish you a very happy birthday, Dad.’

  ‘Come here to me, you.’ Billy threw his arms around Jenny. She pretended to fight him off, but he held tight and kissed her.

  ‘I want to say something.’ Ollie stood up.

  ‘Oh, Jesus, here we go.’ Shannon rolled her eyes.

  ‘I just want to say thanks to you, Billy, for letting me come to the shed. It’s my favourite thing to do, even though the music’s a bit rubbish. I’m sorry I cut my finger off and gave you a shock. I’ll always listen to you, and I think you’re deadly for an old man, not grumpy or narky, just really nice and funny too.’

  ‘Well said.’ Sarah patted him on the back.

  ‘Ah, you’re a great fella, Ollie.’ Billy ruffled his hair.

  Lucy looked around the room. How silly to feel melancholic about getting older. She was stupid, regretting all the things she hadn’t done, when here she was, surrounded by love and support and kindness and generosity. These people were the people who had been there for her through thick and thin.

  Jenny filled Lucy’s wine glass. Lucy pretended to object, but then started giggling.

  Dylan watched his mother. She was definitely a bit drunk. Good, that meant he might be able to sneak off and call into Taylor without her noticing. While his mum was distracted, Dylan slipped his phone out of his pocket and texted Taylor. She replied with a selfie of her in her underwear. Hurry up!

  Kelly and Shannon sat at the end of the table, looking at the bitchy comments Melissa and her friends were still posting about Sean and Kelly. Lots of people had posted nasty remarks about Sean’s old bike and how Kelly was ‘bringing St Jude’s down by dating outsider hobos’. There were so many such comments that Shannon was shocked.

  ‘Who are these people?’ she asked. ‘I mean, seriously, it’s a bike! He goes to a different school, so what?’

  Kelly sighed. ‘There are quite a lot of people in St Jude’s who think they’re superior to everyone else. They think that going to a posh private school somehow makes them better than the rest of us. It’s pathetic, but that’s how they see it. They’re only delighted to slate me because I’m a scholarship student and they already think I’m scum. Sean and his bike just make it easier for them to vent their poison.’

  Kelly turned to answer a question Billy asked her and Shannon quickly took photos of the WhatsApp comments.

  Kelly turned back to her.

  ‘It’s just not right,’ Shannon said. ‘You really should tell your mum how bad it is. It’s gone way beyond a joke now.’

  Kelly snapped her phone off. ‘No bloody way. She doesn’t even know I’m seeing Sean. She’d freak. Shannon, you have to swear you won’t say a word about this to anyone. Swear it?’

  ‘I promise, but you need to fight back. Put up a post about Melissa having an STD or something.’

  ‘I can’t. If I get caught, I could get kicked out.’

  ‘Well, go to the headmaster and talk to him privately, without getting your mum involved. You have to do something, Kelly.’

  Kelly sat back and played with her slice of birthday cake. Shannon was right, she should go to the headmaster. Mr Gough was very nice. But what if he called Melissa in and it became a whole huge thing and then her parents got involved, and then Lucy would be dragged into it and she’d find out about Sean and be furious with Kelly for lying and everyone would know Kelly was a snitch and … Well, it was all too complicated. Kelly just needed to try to ignore it, like Sean and Dylan had told her to.

  Suddenly the door of the restaurant burst open and a middle-aged woman, soaked from the rain, stormed in. ‘Where’s that bitch Jenny Murphy?’

  Everyone froze. The other diners spun around. The woman stared around the room and then saw Jenny.

  ‘There you are, you slut. I tracked you down via your Facebook page. Not very clever at hiding now, are you? So, how long have you been shagging my husband?’

  ‘Mum, she just said –’ Sarah clamped her hand over Ollie’s gaping mouth.

  ‘Is this your family? Did you all know Jenny was sleeping with my husband? The father of my child? Did you know your friend, daughter, whatever she is to you, is a whore?’

  ‘OMG, this is unreal, total drama,’ Shannon whispered. She reached out to squeeze Kelly’s hand.

  Lucy stood up. ‘Whatever your issues are with my sister, there are children present.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry, are your kids upset? Because my son is going to be heartbroken when he gets back from university in England and finds out his dad no longer lives at home because I’ve thrown him out. He’s all yours now, you disgusting piece of work. When he comes back from his business trip, the locks will have changed. You are welcome to the cheating bastard. You deserve each other. And don’t get too comfortable. You’re not his first affair. He’s had several and I stupidly believed that he’d changed. But once a cheating bastard, always a cheating bastard.’ With that, the wife picked up a glass of red wine, threw it over Jenny and stormed back out into the rain.

  Billy leant over. ‘Would you like to tell me what the hell that was all about?’

  ‘This is way better than Gossip Girl,’ Shannon muttered.

  ‘I’m sorry, Dad.’ Jenny’s hand shook as she wiped red wine off her arm with a napkin. ‘It’s complicated.’

  ‘Is Jenny with that woman’s husband?’ Ollie’s eyes were out on sticks.

  ‘I think I’ll take Ollie home,’ Darren said. ‘Why don’t you come back to ours for a drink after … well, when you’re finished up here?’

  Darren ushered Ollie out of the restaurant. They could hear him pleading as he left: ‘Ah, no, Dad, I want to see what happens next.’

  ‘I’m going too, Mum. I’ve got training tomorrow and I’m kind of tired.’ Dylan faked a yawn and followed Darren and Ollie out.

  ‘I’m going nowhere. I want to hear everything,’ Shannon said.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Kelly asked Jenny.

  ‘I’m fine. I deserved that. I’m sorry you had to witness it, though.’

  ‘Are you mad? It was brilliant,’ Shannon said.

  ‘So it’s true.’ Billy shook his head. ‘You’ve been seeing another woman’s husband?’

  Jenny sighed. ‘Yes, Dad, I have and I know it’s nothing to be proud of, but … well … I don’t have an excuse except that I really like him.’

  ‘Oh, Jenny, when will you ever stop messing about and meet a decent man? It’s time to grow up.’

  ‘I’m sorry for ruining your party, Dad. But life isn’t always straightforward. We aren’t all lucky enough to meet the love of our lives at twenty-four. Some of us may never meet the one.’

  ‘Lucky, my arse. It’s called commitment. Your mother was the love of my life but we still had our ups and downs. We worked through them. That’s the problem with all you modern people, you want the fairy-tale romance. Well, it doesn’t exist. Real relationships take hard w
ork and commitment, and they never start with being someone’s mistress. This fella’s a liar and a cheat. You deserve better.’

  Lucy poured them all another drink. ‘Let’s forget about it for the moment. Back to you, Dad.’

  Billy stood up. ‘It’s late. I think I’ll head home. I’ll take the girls with me. You stay and try to talk some sense into your sister.’

  Jenny reached out to him. ‘I really am sorry, Dad. I never meant to cause a scene on your birthday.’

  He put his arm around her. ‘Oh, Jenny, all I want is for you to be happy, love. But you have to start by making better choices.’

  ‘Can I stay in case she comes back and has another freak attack?’ Shannon asked. ‘It was sooooo great.’

  Sarah glared at her daughter. ‘Go with Billy now. Tell your dad I’ll be home in an hour.’

  Kelly hugged Jenny. ‘Night.’

  ‘Night, beautiful. Please don’t think badly of me. I’m really sorry and embarrassed that you witnessed that.’

  ‘Jenny, I think you rock and I always will.’

  Jenny kissed her and watched them leave.

  ‘Well, we certainly won’t forget tonight in a hurry.’ Lucy drank deeply from her wine glass.

  ‘Go on, tell me what a stupid slut I am and how I ruined Dad’s birthday. I couldn’t feel worse, so go ahead.’

  ‘Enough has been said tonight.’

  ‘What are you going to do about Frank being kicked out? Will he move in with you?’ Sarah asked.

  Jenny frowned. ‘God, no. I mean, I don’t think so. I doubt it. He said she kicks him out all the time but never for more than a few days, so it should be fine. She always takes him back. She likes the money, the house and the lifestyle too much to give it up.’

  Lucy’s phone buzzed. It was Damien. Hope your dad’s party going well. Call in on your way home. I’d love to see you.