Obsession

by Liz Bower

  “Miss Waters,” he said with a curt nod. He held his hand out for me to precede him.

  Returning his nod, I offered a polite, “Mr Danver.” Then I weaved my way through the desks and into his office.

  As I took a seat in the black wingback chair closest to his desk, I threaded my fingers together to hide their shaking.

  Alex dropped into the leather chair behind his desk and steepled his fingers beneath his chin. He sat and stared at me for what seemed like forever before he lifted his head off his fingers and spoke. “I had planned on HR giving you a verbal warning for your conduct in that meeting.”

  All I heard was the word ‘planned.’ Oh shit, he’s going to fire me. Say something. Anything! But all I could think was that I would never get a shot at the job I had been working towards for years. I would never get to see Dan again. Scraping my teeth over my bottom lip, I willed myself not to cry, to concentrate instead on the sting of my teeth over my skin.

  “But after speaking to my wife about it last evening and then sleeping on it, I believe HR doesn’t need to be involved. I think I understand what led to your uncharacteristic behaviour. But I think it’s safe to say the way you spoke to Amy—and even to me—was not the way to handle the situation.”

  I slumped against the back of the chair and released my bottom lip from between my teeth. “So, you’re not firing me?”

  Alex placed his palms on the polished wooden top of his desk and his lips lifted slightly at the sides. “No. I’m not firing you, Jo. You’re an asset to this firm, but if it happens again, believe me, HR will be involved.” He leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands across his waist. His lips lifted into what I thought was a smirk, and my stomach flipped as I wondered what was coming next.

  “I know you all think I sit here in my ivory tower of an office, but I’m not oblivious to what goes on out there.” Alex nodded towards the main office. “Dan seems to have had quite an effect on the women here, but obviously I know there’s nothing going on between you two. Or him and anybody else, for that matter. Non-fraternisation policy.”

  He drew out the last two words like he was pronouncing it to a two-year-old, but I stayed quiet.

  “There’s a good reason why I implemented it.”

  As he fell quiet, he lifted one eyebrow and pinned me with his gaze. I knew he was waiting for a response. Waiting for me to agree with him. But all I could think was Does everyone know I’m attracted to Dan? Oh God. Is that why Alex thinks I behaved that way?

  My neck and chest flushed and I pulled at the shirt that was starting to stick to my skin. Did Dan know what I had done? Swallowing hard, I dropped my fingers from my shirt collar and tried to think of a suitable response. “Of course there is. I mean a good reason why you implemented the policy. Obviously there’s nothing going on between Dan and me. Everyone knows better than that. And, you know, my boyfriend is reminder enough.”

  I let out a nervous chuckle. His eyebrow rose to join the other, and I stopped my rambling. As I realised what I’d just admitted to, my own eyebrows rose as high as his. When will I learn?

  “Oh. I thought … You never speak about a boyfriend, that’s all.”

  Think. Don’t just blurt out whatever enters your head. I tried to wipe the shock off my face and replace it with a smile. “I like to keep my professional and private life separate.”

  It seemed that I also liked to keep my personal life separate from reality right then. God, even I didn’t believe that. I was a terrible liar. Why would he buy that explanation?

  “I can understand that. So, can we put all this behind us now? We still have a deadline to meet.”

  “Of course,” I said as I stood.

  “Good. I’ll see you at the team briefing later, then.”

  Taking that as my dismissal, I walked out of his office in a daze. Not been sacked. No verbal warning. I knew I’d been let off lightly, but didn’t really understand why.

  However, I did understand that I was going to have to play it cool towards Dan after that. I couldn’t exactly flirt with him when I had just confessed to having a boyfriend. Not that I’d ever flirted with him because, you know, that would involve actually speaking to him. No, I just pathetically ogled him at the coffee machine from across the office.

  At the thought of somebody asking about my so-called boyfriend, I chewed on my bottom lip. But no, Alex wouldn’t discuss it with anyone. He had respected my so-called boundaries.

  Shaking my head I switched on the computer, hoping that would be the end to the whole thing.

  ***

  The rest of the day had—thankfully—been uneventful, but as I kicked off my shoes, I let out a sigh of relief to be back home. I took the beer Gabi held out towards me and, clinking the bottles together, we both said, “Cheers.”

  “To not getting sacked,” Gabi added with a smirk.

  I rolled my eyes at Gabi but said, “Amen to that.” With another long sip from the bottle, I let my shoulders sink back against the cushion of the sofa. I jumped at the sound of someone pounding on the front door, but Gabi shot up from the sofa with her palms held out towards me. I tilted my head and waited for whatever Gabi was about to confess.

  “That’ll be Marco. Before you say anything, just give him a break. He … Lily … They’re having a few problems and he needs some space from her. Just … go easy on him, okay?”

  I raised my eyebrows at her because I knew she was keeping something from me. Gabi never struggled for words—unlike me—except for when she was hiding something. Which was rare. It was one of the reasons we were friends.

  I remembered sitting next to her on the first day of school in our registration form class as I struggled to think of something to say to start a conversation with her. Then she had turned my way to introduce herself and talked to me like she already knew we would be best friends. And I got swept along with the force that was Gabi.

  Lily though … I imagined most people who knew her would have a problem with her. Lily reminded me of Amy—took what she wanted with little consideration for other people’s feelings. But clearly Marco saw something attractive about her. Either that or she was really good in bed. I cringed at that mental image, shaking my head like I could dislodge it from my mind.

  But why couldn’t Marco find space from Lily somewhere else? I scrunched my nose up at that selfish thought. Gabi and Marco were close. They always stuck together after years of being picked on by their older brothers, so it wasn’t unusual for Marco to hang out at ours.

  With a resigned sigh, I said, “Fine. I will if he will. He’s the one who usually starts it.”

  “Well maybe for once just don’t take the bait,” Gabi retorted before going to let him in.

  I watched a little enviously as Marco engulfed Gabi in his arms, not for the first time wishing I had an older brother. Or even a younger one. As much as I had longed for a sibling, it was worse for my parents. They had all but given up hope of having their own child by the time I finally came along.

  When Marco released Gabi, his cocky smile slipped into place. Already I wanted to say something to wipe that look off his face. Don’t take the bait. I silently repeated it like a mantra.

  “Hey, Jo.”

  “Hey,” I said before downing half of the beer I had left.

  “Ahh, you missed me so much it’s driving you to alcohol already?”

  Rise above it. Don’t take the bait. “Celebrating, actually.”

  That got his interest.

  “What? That I’m here now?”

  Taking a deep breath, I said, “Celebrating the fact that I still have my job. And oh yeah, my new boyfriend.” I watched as his cocky smile slipped slightly, and I felt like doing a little fist pump. Marco zero, Jo one. Yeah, that’s right. You finally met a girl immune to your so-called charm.

  I could admit he was actually quite attractive. Both he and Gabi had the same burnt mahogany hair and tanned skin. Except his hair was artfully messy to match the scruff along his jaw that
he always wore.

  Well, he was attractive until he opened his mouth, anyway. The guy had serious ego issues. Most of the time he was a pain in the arse, but he was Gabi’s brother so I put up with him.

  Plus, I could still remember a time when he didn’t act that way, when we had been friends. That time had been before the Lee disaster though. I think I’d actually hated him for a while after that. My first crush, ruined by Marco. First kisses were traumatic enough, but to have Marco practically haul Lee away and scare him off? I had been mortified. Well, as mortified as any fourteen-year-old would have been at what I’d then considered the end of my life. I had understood when he’d done the same thing to Gabi. Had thought it was sweet. Laughed even. But it wasn’t so funny when you were on the receiving end.

  “Jo,” Gabi said, dragging me out of my memories.

  Ooh, Gabi’s stern voice. “What?” I asked, feigning an innocence she knew I hadn’t had since the last year of high school.

  Gabi glared at me before turning back to Marco. “What Jo means is we’re celebrating the fact that she made up a boyfriend for herself to get out of shit at work.”

  Huh, some best friend she was. Marco didn’t need to know that. I aimed a scowl at her.

  “Ahh, surely you could have found someone willing to be your boyfriend instead of making one up,” Marco said.

  I flashed what I hoped would pass for a smile rather than the grimace it felt like. “Ha ha.” Fighting the urge to stick my tongue out at him, I stood and rushed towards the kitchen before the fake smile slipped. That hurt more than I cared to admit, but I wasn’t sure why. I should have been used to his taunts by that point.

  Pushing the thoughts away, I pulled another beer out of the fridge.

  “Marco!”

  I could hear Gabi practically hissing at him from where I was standing in the kitchen. Great. That meant Marco would know he’d hit a sore spot. I ignored him as I made my way back into the living room and dropped onto the sofa.

  “Pizza okay with everyone?”

  I nodded in response to Gabi’s question and flicked on the TV. Marco was sitting in the armchair to my right, and from the corner of my eye, I could see he was staring at me.

  “You know I was kidding right?” he asked.

  “Mmhmm.”

  “Jo?”

  “Just leave it alone, Marco. Before one of us says something we’re going to regret,” I said without looking away from the TV.

  CHAPTER THREE

  None of us spoke through the film, which was unusual. I couldn’t concentrate on it anyway; my mind kept drifting back to Marco’s words, then back to Dan. And when I thought of Dan, Amy’s words echoed through my head. Why would Dan be interested in me? Half the women in the office were lusting after him, the other half lusting over Toby. Must’ve been something about the quiet, brooding type.

  So why did I keep falling for the wrong men? Hadn’t what happened with Josh taught me anything? But it was easier to deal with the ache of desire for someone you knew you didn’t stand a chance with. Better that than the uncertainty and risk of humiliation of rejection from someone who might be interested.

  Then Alex’s words—‘non-fraternisation policy’—rolled through my head, and I knew my thoughts of Dan were pointless. Plus, I had a boyfriend now, right? I let out a soft sigh at that thought.

  As the credits rolled, Gabi stretched and said, “Okay, I’m off to bed.” She kissed Marco’s cheek, then looked my way. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Night,” I replied, switching off the TV and expecting Marco to leave.

  Instead, he asked, “Do you want another beer?”

  I was already feeling lightheaded and had work in the morning. I tilted my bottle and saw there was still almost half of it left, so I shook my head. He came back again with another beer for himself and sat next to me on the sofa.

  The look he gave me had a tingle running down my spine. Annoying Marco, arrogant Marco, those versions I was used to. But this Marco? He was studying me like he was trying to discover all my secrets. I started to pull the label off the bottle just to avoid that look. When he spoke, his voice was serious—husky, even.

  “You do know I didn’t mean what I said earlier. I’m sure you’ve got a queue of guys waiting to fill that position. And any one of them would be lucky to have you, Jo.”

  I whipped my head up to look at him, but there was no trace of humour on his face. For once, he wasn’t mocking me, and his kindness was my undoing. Tears spilled over my cheeks and I shook my fringe until it rested across my face.

  “Oh shit. Don’t cry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted you to know I was sorry.”

  Before I could respond, he pulled me against his chest and tucked my head under his chin, stroking his hand up and down my back. I could feel the warmth of him through his T-shirt beneath my cheek. The smell of beer mingled with the scent of his skin, a hint of pine and freshness that reminded me of being in a forest.

  “It’s not your fault,” I mumbled into his chest.

  “What?”

  I leaned back slightly and his arms tightened around me. “I said it’s not your fault. I’ve had too much to drink and it’s been a shitty couple of days at work. And well, that queue you mentioned currently consists of my fake boyfriend.”

  “I’m sure that’s not true.”

  I rambled when I was nervous, but add in alcohol and there was no stopping me. Ask me anything and the truth would just fall from my lips. Things I would never normally admit without the courage of a drink. “Oh, it’s true. I nearly got myself sacked over a guy at work, and he hasn’t even noticed me. Gabi was wrong though. I kind of hoped that maybe afterwards, if he thought I had a boyfriend, then he’d realise that he liked me. You know, be jealous that I had a boyfriend. Stupid, huh?”

  “No, it’s not stupid. Everyone does crazy stuff in the name of lust, love, whatever. It’s what makes us human. So … did it work?” he asked, tightening his arms around me when I shifted.

  “I don’t think he even knows. Or ever will. I can’t imagine Alex mentioning”—I raised my hands to make air quotes—“my ‘boyfriend’ to anyone at work.”

  “Do you think that maybe he might not be the right man for you?”

  I let out a snort at his question. “Oh, I know he’s not the guy for me. He is way out of my league, but it doesn’t stop me wanting him. I know I’m supposed to be strong. I’m supposed to be independent and not need a guy, but I want someone to share my life with. The good times and the bad. Someone who makes me feel special just for being me.”

  Marco groaned, and I prepared myself for his jibe, having temporarily forgotten whom I was confessing to.

  “You’re only twenty-six, Jo. It’s not like you’re an old maid who’s been left on the shelf. You’ll find someone who makes you feel that way. You just need to be patient.”

  “Feels like I’ve been looking for forever.” My voice broke over the last word as my vision clouded through the fresh set of tears trying to fall.

  “Maybe you should stop looking.”

  “What?” I jerked back from his hold, but he pressed a finger beneath my chin and tilted my head so I couldn’t avoid his gaze.

  “Maybe if you weren’t looking so hard you would see what you actually want.”

  I wasn’t sure I agreed with him, but I didn’t know what to say either. Instead, I closed my eyes and sank back against the sofa, stifling a yawn.

  Marco leaned back against the sofa arm, dragging me with him until I lay against his chest. “Trust me,” he said.

  I was too tired to argue, and after the day I’d had it was comforting to be held by someone. My head rested on his hard chest, and I could hear the steady beat of his heart, lulling me into relaxation. As I gave in to the lure of sleep I could have sworn he pressed a light kiss against the top of my head. Then again, I was probably already dreaming.

  ***

  “Jo. Jo, wake up!”

  I rolled onto my
back, squinting one eye open to peer up at Gabi. Why was she in my bedroom shouting at me? And why the hell did it feel like someone had tried to strangle me?

  “Why are you down here? And where’s Marco?”

  What? As I turned onto my side, I realised too late that I wasn’t in bed. My hip hit the hard wooden floor, and I threw my hand out before my face followed it, my fingers sinking into the thick rug. God, I really was a lightweight when it came to drinking. I rubbed a hand across my neck and glared up at Gabi, who was doing a remarkable impression of looking just like her mother used to when we got in trouble—hands on her hips, legs spread wide, head tilted to one side with her lips pursed. The only thing missing was the tapping of her foot against the floor.

  “Guess I fell asleep down here, and I have no idea where Marco is. At home, I would guess.”

  “So he didn’t spend the night?”

  Why would Marco spend the night? I shook my head to try and get rid of the fuzziness and then winced at the pain that followed the movement. “No. I vaguely remember him leaving. I think he tried to make me go to bed, but then he definitely left.”

  “Good. You’re going to be late for work if you don’t get your arse in gear.”

  Shit, I couldn’t be late. Not after how the previous day had gone. I scrambled to my feet and rushed upstairs. An impressive fifteen minutes later I looked remarkably human—even if I didn’t feel it—and headed out for the office.

  Taking another sip of the sludge that passed as coffee from the vending machine, I headed over to my desk. The first thing I saw was the bright yellow Post-it note stuck to my monitor. Crap. I pulled it off the screen to read it. Alex wanted to see me as soon as I got in. Of course he did. I had a hangover, so why wouldn’t he want to see me?

  I left the coffee cup on my desk and went to knock on his closed office door, then waited for him to answer.

  “Come in.”

  Opening the door slightly, I stuck my head through the gap and asked, “You wanted to see me?” Still hoping he might have changed his mind, I kept the door between us.