Reasonable Insanity

by Cynthia Freeman Gibbs

  “I sure hope I can follow them,” Olivia confessed.

  “One warning to you though, there are cameras and some residents are spies. Watch out for them because they will turn you in. I thought I could get away with sneaking food into my room. Would you believe my neighbor reported me as if I was a bad kid?” Connie whispered.

  “Wow. That is crazy,” Olivia responded.

  “Just remember why you are here.” Beth cut her eyes at Connie. “It’s not easy to have an eating disorder and it’s not easy to get the help. At least you made the first step by showing up. You’ll see the benefits soon. You must trust the process.”

  “I will do my best,” Olivia said.

  “Hey. We better get going. We have an archery class in fifteen minutes. We’ll see you around. Welcome again,” Connie said. They gathered their dirty dishes and left the cafeteria.

  Olivia sighed and picked at her meal. If I hurry and eat this, maybe I can make it to my room and throw it up before my 8 o’clock session. One more time and I’ll be good.

  Just as she finished eating, the two black ladies she saw the day before approached her.

  “Hi, I’m Wynetta.” The woman with the braids extended her hand to Olivia to shake.

  “Hi. Nice to meet you Wynetta,” Olivia responded with a smile.

  The other lady with the perfectly shaped afro smiled and shook her hand. “I’m Vera. We saw you checking in yesterday and wanted to introduce ourselves.”

  “I saw the two of you also. I must admit, I was shocked to know I’m not the only African-American woman here. I had no idea so many of us are dealing with eating disorders,” Olivia shared.

  “Girl, please. We exist but none of us ever talk about it. You’ll be surprised at the fact that most of us are here for bulimia or anorexia,” Vera replied.

  “Right. People tend to focus on black women who deal with issues by eating too much and gaining a lot of weight from comfort food. You don’t find too many of us who are the opposite,” Wynetta chimed in. “Sorry for any assumptions, but from the looks of things, my guess is you’re dealing with bulimia?”

  “Good guess. How can you tell?” Olivia questioned.

  “The fact you’re actually eating gives you away,” Wynetta responded.

  “Oh yeah, right,” Olivia said.

  “Don’t be embarrassed. We all have been where you are. Just know, you’re not alone, sister girl. We can get through this together and live a healthy life,” Vera encouraged Olivia.

  “Thank you. You don’t know how much your words mean to me,” Olivia replied.

  “We’ll catch up with you later. You’ll do fine,” Wynetta said as they walked away.

  In spite of their words, Olivia headed to the bathroom after dinner and ended up being caught trying to sneak to regurgitate. Another resident told on her. She looked completely foolish and apologized to the staff.

  After attending the morning group session, Olivia finally had the opportunity to work out. She struggled with the limitations of exercising vigorously for only one hour a day. Many of the residents had exercise addiction like she did.

  Since they were in the Rocky Mountains, they could go on short hikes and bike rides. Gorgeous trees and flowers surrounded the winding trails. However, even the outdoor options lasted only an hour.

  Thankfully, she could indulge in archery, meditation, poetry writing, cooking, horse-back riding, dancing, and drumming classes to fill in the day.

  Olivia finally decided to stop resisting and completely immersed herself into following the rules.

  ***

  Time flew by quickly. The six weeks helped to turn her life around, and Olivia realized how much abuse her body had taken throughout the years. The counseling sessions brought out how many of the issues she had with herself were a result of trying to be perfect for her mother and men. The program, although tough, saved her life the same way it did for many others.

  By the time graduation from the program took place, she and several of the women had become close friends. They promised to keep in touch with each other for support.

  Olivia finally achieved wellness spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. She was proud of her accomplishments and vowed to help other women with eating disorders as soon as she returned to San Antonio.

  CHAPTER 23

  Beads of sweat poured from Olivia’s pores. Her sneakered feet pounded on the treadmill for forty-five minutes. She tapped on the button to slow to a walking pace and lowered the elevation to zero percent. She reached for her towel to wipe her face before taking a big swig from her water bottle.

  Bobbing her head to the music playing in her Walkman headphones, she started singing the song, 1999, along with the musical genius, Prince. This cassette tape had to be her favorite, and she listened to it every chance she could. She planned to buy concert tickets to see him perform on New Year’s Eve to celebrate going from the year 1999 to 2000.

  Everyone got overly anxious about what might happen with Y2K. Rumors of havoc in computer systems around the world had people in a frenzy. Olivia knew she wanted to party her way into the New Year no matter what occurred.

  Olivia brought the treadmill to a complete stop. She pressed the cassette button to turn the Walkman off. After taking the headphones from her ears and putting them around her neck, she got off the machine and wiped her sweat from the equipment with her towel.

  Her body welcomed being back in the gym after missing her usual rigorous workout for ten weeks. Olivia never thought she could survive without getting her exercise in twice a day. After finishing the month and a half at Mountain River Resort for her issues with bulimia, she realized she didn’t have to work out multiple times daily. Her goal of sticking with a reasonable exercise program was a serious process, and she planned to succeed.

  The sound of weights clanging filled the gym with people making efforts to stay or get into shape. She walked away from the treadmill and recovered from running by stretching her muscles.

  Olivia moseyed to the free weights area to do strength training since she realized she had fifteen additional minutes to exercise. She stood in front of the mirror and started doing bicep curls with twenty-pound weights in each hand. She glanced behind her and noticed a guy sitting on a weight bench watching her. He quickly shifted his eyes away when he realized she’d spotted him checking her out.

  Olivia chuckled to herself and considered how the extra pounds she put on during her weeks away from the gym, seemed good on her. Her butt was now shapely and round instead of flat. She didn’t mind having some cushion back there now. Her purple and white workout pants and matching sports bra showed off her new curves. Certainly, this guy must have noticed.

  After she finished with her set, Olivia decided to flirt since this man couldn’t seem to stop sneaking peeks at her. She strutted toward him with her newly found confidence. He prepared to lift what appeared to be an impossible amount of weight on the bench press. “Do you need a spotter?” she asked, leaning above him with a big smile.

  He sat up on the bench with a flirtatious smirk. He raked his fingers through his wavy, red hair to move back a few curls, which fell over his left eye. Gorgeous, clear green eyes sparkled when they locked with hers.

  The faint smell of a musky cologne mixed in with his sweat pleased her nostrils. Now how can someone smell this good while working out? Moisture glistened on his massive chest. The San Antonio Spurs, Tim Duncan jersey, could barely contain his muscles.

  Her eyes zoomed in on his powerfully rippled thighs covered with well fitted, black shorts. She swooned at the thought of them intertwined with hers.

  “I think I’ll be okay without a spotter today. Thank you for asking.” He smiled and laid back on the bench.

  “Okay, let me know if you need some help lifting it off your chest when you can’t do it on your own,” Olivia chuckled and headed back to her weights. She made sure to switch her hips when she walked away in case he watched.

  Sure enough, she
glanced in the mirror and noticed him lift his head to see her behind. She turned around and winked at him. He smiled and puffed his chest before raising the weights effortlessly to do ten reps of bench presses with what had to be over 300 pounds.

  He dropped the weights back into position on the rest, raised himself on the seat with a red face, and caught his breath. Olivia admired his strength and noticed how his muscles bulged even more with veins popping out underneath his skin.

  Olivia grabbed her dumbbells to complete another set. The reflection in the mirror of the redhead guy coming her way made her pause. She began curling the weights one arm at a time, purposefully ignoring him.

  “I thought I would offer you the same help. Need a spotter?” He flashed his ten-million-dollar smile, from his finely chiseled face, with a twinkle in his eyes.

  “Nope. I got this. Thanks,” Olivia replied and slowly continued with her set.

  Olivia placed the weights on a rack and noticed he did not go back to his bench. He stood close enough for her to smell his cologne again. Smiling, she turned around and smoothed away a wisp of hair from her forehead.

  He extended his gloved hand to her. “I’m Ross O’Neill. I hope you don’t mind giving me your name. I figured I could at least introduce myself to you since you offered to help me if I needed it.”

  Olivia laughed and shook his hand. “Well, Ross, my name is Olivia and it’s nice to meet you. You probably don’t use a spotter much. I thought I’d get a good laugh if you said yes. You seem to be impressively strong lifting those weights.”

  Ross blushed. “I guess you can say I like to challenge myself. Seeing a pretty woman energizes me. Thank you for checking on me.” Ross’s focus on Olivia made her heart skip a beat. A look of pure mischief crossed his face.

  “Oh, there’s a pretty woman somewhere?” Olivia joked and looked around her to see who he could possibly be referring to.

  “Standing right here in front of me. You’re absolutely gorgeous.” Ross studied her from top to bottom, which made her cheeks hot.

  “Me? After working out? You’re full of it,” Olivia said in disbelief.

  “No. I mean it. I know you must hear that all the time,” Ross said.

  “No, I don’t, but, thank you, I guess,” Olivia said and batted her eyelashes.

  “Olivia, I’d like to get to know you better. Would you mind joining me at the smoothie shop next door? I apologize if I sound too forward.” Ross smiled.

  His invitation caught Olivia by surprise especially with her hair sweated out.

  “Well, sure. A smoothie sounds quite refreshing. Let me shower in the locker room and I’ll meet you next door in about thirty minutes. Does that work for you?”

  His face beamed with a smile and his dimples showed again. “Perfect. I’ll meet you in the lobby and we’ll walk there together. See you in a few.” Olivia peeked at his muscular butt strutting away to the men’s locker room, which caused her to let out a loud sigh.

  She headed to the shower. She’d never been attracted to white guys, but this man had her body doing all kinds of strange things. She smiled at her attraction to him. Perhaps Ross was the answer to her prayers for a husband who would give her light-skinned babies.

  CHAPTER 24

  Savvy nervously pressed the buttons for the phone number listed in the newspaper article. She wasn’t sure how this call would turn out. She had to see what might happen.

  After two rings, a receptionist answered the phone, “Dr. Olivia Maxwell’s office. This is Malia. How may I help you?”

  “Hello, Malia. May I please speak to Dr. Maxwell? I am an old college friend of hers and would like to surprise her if she is available,” Savvy said. She paced the floor, nervous about what the receptionist would say.

  “Sure, no problem. I will patch you through to her phone line. You called at a good time. She has seen her last patient for the day. Please hold.”

  Savvy took a deep breath. I wonder if she will even remember me after all of this time. A familiar voice said, “Hello, this is Dr. Maxwell.”

  “Yes, hello Dr. Maxwell,” Savvy said formally. “My name is Savannah. Is this a good time to speak with you?” She held her breath waiting for a response.

  “Savannah?” Olivia paused. “Do you mean Savannah like Savvy? Savvy Menefee?

  “Yes, Olivia. It’s me, Savvy,” Savvy exhaled and replied.

  Olivia screamed in joy, which made Savvy pull her ear from the phone.

  “Oh Savvy. It’s good to hear your voice. Where have you been? I missed you. Can you believe it’s been more than ten years? Where are you? What are you doing now?” The words spilled out of her mouth into the phone in a flurry of excitement.

  “Olivia, slow down, slow down. I can barely catch what you’re saying,” Savvy laughed. “I’m glad I found you.”

  “You don’t know how much it means to me to hear from you. I thought you’d never have anything to do with me again. I’ve been too ashamed to call you even after all of these years,” Olivia said. “How did you find me?”

  “Yeah, it’s crazy how time passed us by. I happened to read an article you wrote in the newspaper about eating disorders. I called the phone number listed and found you,” Savvy explained. “I see you’re Dr. Olivia C. Maxwell now.”

  “Yes. Can you believe it? I finally did what I always wanted to do in my life and became a psychologist. I relocated to San Antonio after I finished my residency program. What about you? Where are you now?” Olivia asked.

  “You won’t believe this, but I transferred to San Antonio two months ago,” Savvy said. “I didn’t even know you were living here until I read the article.”

  “No way,” Olivia responded in glee. “We landed in the same city. We must get together right away because we have a lot to talk about. I want you to tell me all about your life. Are you married yet? Kids? I still can’t believe I’m hearing your voice and you live right here in San Antonio.”

  “Girl, please. Not married and no kids. What about you?”

  “Absolutely not. I don’t know who would even want to marry someone like me,” Olivia said, the excitement leaving her voice.

  “Whatever. This is already sounding like a topic we need to have with drinks. Let’s meet tonight. Do you want to go to Happy Hour somewhere?” Savvy asked.

  “Yes. Have you been to Swampyfood Café yet? They have this drink called a Swampy Cane, delicious crawfish and a cheese fondue that is hands-down, the best in town. This restaurant is the spot to go if you like seafood,” Olivia suggested. “I just looked over the calendar and my schedule is clear. Let’s meet there at 4:30. Sound good?”

  “Perfect. I’ve been wanting to go there,” Savvy responded with joy. “I can’t wait to see you, Olivia.”

  “You completely made my day, Savvy. I’ll see you in a few.”

  Savvy hung up the phone with a smile.

  Around 4:15, Savvy pulled her red BMW into the restaurant parking lot. When she parked her car, she noticed someone backing a beautiful, white Mercedes Benz SL class convertible into the space next to her. The car had a license tag with “DR OCM” on it.

  The door opened and Savvy gasped to see Olivia stride out in purple, 3-inch heeled, pumps, an elegant purple Chanel suit, and carrying a purple Louis Vuitton Monogram Vernis bag. Her neat bun at the top of her head gave her a sophisticated, supermodel appearance. She wore an elegant pair of Tiffany sunglasses which set the whole outfit off. She seemed much healthier than their college years. Savvy hurried to turn off the ignition and hop out of the car.

  “Olivia,” she squealed and ran to her.

  “Savvy,” Olivia shouted. They embraced each other in tight hugs with tears spilling from their eyes.

  Savvy pulled back and examined her friend. “Oh, my goodness, Olivia. You’re still gorgeous and absolutely amazing.”

  “You can’t be old enough to go to Happy Hour. I swear, I can’t tell you’ve aged any since college. Halle Berry must be your twin with your haircut. You’re
wearing that spunky short style even better than she does.” Olivia admired. “Come on, let’s go inside and get a seat.”

  Many young urban professionals packed in the restaurant to start their weekend with drinks. The festive New Orleans décor and lively zydeco music filling the air set the atmosphere for a good time.

  Olivia and Savvy pressed their way through the crowded bar and grabbed a table outside in the courtyard where they enjoyed their beverages and shared appetizers.

  “You have to tell me, how’s the dating scene here?” Savvy questioned and took a big dip of the gooey cheese fondue with her piece of bread. She had to stretch it high to get it out of the dish.

  “Well,” Olivia said before slurping the last part of her Swampy Cane drink. She waved for the server to bring two more to the table. “It hasn’t been all that great for me since I’ve been busy with work. But, I did start dating this guy I met a few weeks ago at the gym.”

  “Oh, do tell. Give me details. Details,” Savvy exclaimed.

  “Well, his name is Ross. He has amazing wavy, long red hair, green eyes, dimples, and is built like the Incredible Hulk.” Olivia’s face beamed from thinking about him.

  “No way. Wait a minute. Red hair? Are you telling me he’s white?” Savvy asked.

  “Yup. He’s an Irish man. I never would’ve thought I would date anyone other than a black man,” Olivia laughed. “But, here in San Antonio, a lot of them completely ignore me. I realized I had to open my mind to other dating opportunities. I’m glad I did. Ross is amazing. Not to mention the fact that if I marry him, I will have good-looking, light-skinned babies instead of them being dark like me.”

  “Excuse me? I know you didn’t say that. I don’t understand why you still have such a complex with being dark-skinned. You’re gorgeous. You need to stop thinking you’re unattractive since you’re not lighter. Why do you continue to feel this way after all of these years?” Savvy questioned.

  “As you know, it’s one of those things my mother scarred me with since I’m the only one who is not light-skinned in my family. Remember when I told you I wondered if she had an affair with a dark-skinned man who could actually be my biological father? I still think I must have been adopted. Humph, wouldn’t that be something?” Olivia pondered and mixed the drink with her straw.