Reasonable Insanity

by Cynthia Freeman Gibbs

  “He drew me in like a moth to a flame.”

  “Well, I must say, you both have something special together.” Savvy smiled at her friend.

  “I love the fact he accepts me for who I am. Malcolm hasn’t asked me to change a thing about myself. He’s dependable and isn’t a liar. It’s crazy thinking about the fact we are getting married and haven’t dated for long.” Olivia sighed. “But when you know, you know. I can’t find anything wrong with him at all. I adore my in-laws to be, and they treat me better than my own family does.”

  “You’ve been blessed and you deserve it, Olivia.”

  “I agree, Savvy. After dealing with all of my stupid relationships in the past, it’s a relief to finally have a real man. He’s educated, healthy, great looking, has an awesome body, loves his family and me. What more could one ask for?” Olivia beamed.

  “Exactly. You couldn’t have designed this relationship any more perfectly even if you had created it yourself.”

  “There is one thing I would change though,” Olivia said and raised herself in the chair to face Savvy.

  Savvy squinted at Olivia and lifted the brim of her beach hat to see her better. “What would that one thing be, missy?”

  “I wish he had a better job. I mean, money is no big deal since I make an excellent salary. I must say, it would be nice if he could do something other than network marketing,” Olivia explained.

  “From what I remember, he’s with a good company, right? I hear people can make a whole lot of money with some of those opportunities,” Savvy said.

  “I guess, however, his pay isn’t consistent. I mean, there are some months when he doesn’t have any money coming in. I don’t know how he can live with inconsistent income. You have to be a great salesperson to do those jobs,” Olivia elaborated.

  “I still don’t see what the problem is,” Savvy said.

  “A person has to get out early each day and be persistent about chasing after the business. I don’t know if it’s the right job for him. I won’t worry about it now. Nevertheless, I definitely plan to help him put in resumes with a few Fortune 500 companies. We can land him a great career in marketing, which is what he majored in when he attended Tennessee State University.”

  “Now Olivia, don’t go pushing Malcolm to do something he doesn’t feel passionate about. The last thing you want is a man to be in a job he hates. Please, don’t hound him about making more money. You make more than $250,000 a year with your job. Not to mention the fact you get additional paychecks from speaking engagements and writing articles. You two are going to be fine,” Savvy said.

  “Savvy, don’t worry. I won’t nag him. But, you know, I bought my own wedding ring since he couldn’t get me the one I wanted. He didn’t have money for a two-carat diamond and it’s important to me to have that size or bigger. It isn’t a big deal. However, I have visions of us doing more together financially.”

  Savvy’s mouth dropped open. “Olivia. You bought your own ring to have a bigger one? Are you serious? How did we go from discussing how he’s the perfect man for you, to focusing on insignificant, materialistic stuff? You have four cars between the two of you. You already have an amazing house with a pool in a historic neighborhood. Your concerns about money are moot. They don’t matter, okay? Geesh. You’re making me mad listening to you whine.” Savvy shook her head.

  “I know, I know. We’ll be fine with what we have, I guess.” Olivia lowered her head in shame.

  “You better believe it. By the time we all leave this island, there’s no looking back. Do you understand me?” Savvy scolded her.

  “Yes, ma’am. I understand,” Olivia replied sheepishly.

  “Good. Now let’s head to our rooms and get ready. Is the resort staff taking care of your hair and makeup?”

  “Yes, they have everything covered from A to Z. I still want you to come to my bridal suite. We can get ready together,” Olivia said. They began to gather their beach bags and put on their cover-ups.

  “Okay, I’ll bring my stuff to your room. In the meantime, I want you to think about what a wonderful man you’re about to marry in a few hours. Promise?” Savvy stood from her chair and looked Olivia in the eyes.

  “I promise forever. We’ll be perfect together,” Olivia replied when they walked away from the pool.

  Her mind shifted to her trifling family for a moment. She couldn’t believe that none of them were here to witness her big day. They made every excuse in the world to keep from coming.

  She thought her father would’ve come since they spent time together after her hospital incident. However, he was reluctant to travel to St. Lucia without her mother. Olivia knew it was more of the same, controlling nature of her mother.

  Olivia didn’t care about her sister not being there. It would be just like her to try to make the whole trip about herself with her needy ways. Thank God she didn't come.

  Her parents made a big to-do for her sister’s wedding a year ago and even paid for it. Her mother’s reasoning for not paying for Olivia’s was the fact she was a psychologist. She felt she obviously had enough money to pay for her own. According to her, Sheree struggled to make ends meet with her hair salon salary. However, Olivia knew her sister made a good amount of money from charging a lot for weaves and braids. She didn’t manage her finances well and always cried wolf about being broke.

  Olivia didn’t mind paying for her own wedding, yet it hurt knowing they chose not to attend. They probably wouldn’t even attend her funeral when she died.

  Olivia shook her head to get the negative thoughts out of her head and think about her soon-to-be husband instead. There was no question they belong together.

  CHAPTER 33

  The wedding turned out to be the most perfect display of love anyone could ever imagine. Everything turned out the way Olivia and Malcolm planned. Their intimate group of nineteen family members and friends partied all night long.

  Savvy caught the bouquet when she dove to the ground and wrestled with one of Malcolm’s drunk aunts. The dirt marks on her dress didn’t matter when she stood victoriously, holding the torn apart bouquet in the air.

  Olivia laughed and enjoyed Savvy’s theatrical performance. Having her for a bridesmaid blessed her special day in many ways. The fact her family did not show up, turned out to be the last thing on her mind. I am married to the man of my dreams, forever. No one can ever take that away from me.

  She and Malcolm agreed Olivia would keep Maxwell for her last name since she wouldn’t want her patients to become confused. Taking on his last name, Turnipseed, didn’t excite her. Dr. Olivia Turnipseed sounded funny. Although she wasn’t interested in having kids any time soon, the last thing she wanted, was for bullies to make fun of their children and call them baby turnip seeds.

  After everyone left to go home a few days after the wedding, Olivia and Malcolm stayed in St. Lucia for their Honeymoon for a week. It turned out to be the most magical way to start their lives off together.

  When they returned to San Antonio, Malcolm moved his things into her house. They settled into a husband and wife life of discovery.

  Six weeks into their marriage, Olivia became nauseous and dizzy when she began preparing breakfast for the two of them. She grabbed a cup of water and after taking a few sips, went back to working on the food.

  Malcolm strolled into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

  “Hey, babe, everything smells fabulous. Do I smell bacon in the oven?” Malcolm asked, feathering kisses on the back of her neck.

  “Yes, it is. Unfortunately, the smell is making me nauseous. Can you finish cooking the eggs? I think I’m going to be sick.” Olivia quickly dropped the spatula and ran to the bathroom on the side of the kitchen. She barely made it to the toilet to throw up.

  Instantly, her stomach began to calm down. She grabbed a washcloth and welcomed the stinging of the cold water she splashed on her flushed face. Malcolm stood in the doorway with his forehead wrinkled in concern.<
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  “Babe, are you okay? Do you want me to take you to the doctor or anything?” he asked and rubbed her back gently.

  “No, no. I’m fine. It’s probably something I ate last night. You know I had peach cobbler and ice cream after dinner. I think it must have settled wrong. I wonder if I’m lactose intolerant? Anyway, I feel better already,” Olivia reassured him. “Come on, let’s get back to the kitchen where I can finish making your breakfast.”

  “Are you sure? Maybe you should go lie down.”

  “I promise you, I feel much better. I’m actually starving now.” Olivia took Malcolm by the hand and led him into the kitchen. “Let’s eat. I have pancakes keeping warm in the oven to go with the bacon and eggs. I can’t wait.”

  They devoured the food and relocated to their bedroom to devour each other with love.

  Two weeks later, Olivia found out she was pregnant.

  CHAPTER 34

  “So, your doctor has confirmed it? I’m going to be an Auntie. Oh, Olivia. I’m happy for you and Malcolm,” Savvy exclaimed. They relaxed in the wicker rocking chairs on her deck in the backyard. The cool and breezy wind made the unrelenting San Antonio heat bearable.

  “Thanks,” Olivia responded dryly.

  “Thanks? Why aren’t you excited? You’re about to be a mama.” Savvy studied her friend. She poured two glasses of homemade lemonade on ice from a glass pitcher.

  “Savvy, we just got married. I wasn’t expecting to barely have a few weeks together with only the two of us. This pregnancy changes everything. I’m mad at myself for not taking precautions when we were on our Honeymoon.”

  “How does Malcolm feel about having children already?” Savvy sipped her lemonade.

  “Oh. He’s excited and started looking around for a crib and car seat already. I feel bad I don’t share his enthusiasm. He wants at least two to four kids. That’s never going to happen in my opinion,” Olivia exclaimed.

  “You’re kidding, right?” Savvy asked.

  “Do you know how much damage is done to a woman’s body after giving birth? You gain weight and get ugly stretch marks. I’m not ready for all of that yet,” Olivia whined.

  “Wow. I had no idea you had concerns like that. You used to talk about wanting children. I thought the two of you would be on the same page about having kids before you got married.”

  “It may sound crazy to some people, however, I’m not ready to sacrifice my lifestyle. I mean, what about me? When a baby comes into the world, it’s all about them. When will I work out? When will I get to travel and enjoy things with only Malcolm and me? When can I shop for myself? When will I get enough sleep? I don’t know if I can deal with this right now.” Olivia began to sound frantic.

  “Okay, okay, try not to get stressed out. Believe me, although I don’t have kids, I can tell you, you will adjust. Have you noticed there are moms in the world who have great lives? You’ll find other ways to do things, although it may be tough sometimes. Plus, you have an amazing husband who will tag team with you in taking care of the baby. All hope is not lost,” Savvy said.

  “I know. That’s what I keep telling myself. I don’t want to get fat to the point Malcolm can’t stand looking at me. As you know, I recently got my body back into shape. The last thing I need is to have to deal with being overweight.”

  “With the way you work out, it won’t be a problem for you to continue to exercise during your pregnancy. Since you’re healthy, you’ll probably lose weight quickly anyway, especially if you breastfeed. Stop worrying and enjoy the fact a miracle is growing inside of you right now. You’re the vessel for a beautiful baby. You both have been given a gift. You’re growing a Turnipseed inside your body,” Savvy laughed.

  Olivia couldn’t help but to chuckle and calm down.

  “What would I do without you, Savvy? You always know what to say to me. I get anxious about stupid stuff. I guess my hormones are out of whack right now, which is probably why I’m emotional.”

  “I understand, my friend. I’ll be here along the way. Of course, I’ll be the best Auntie ever and will help in any way needed. I can’t wait to find out if you’re having a boy or a girl. I can throw a baby reveal party for you and Malcolm. It’ll be fun. This is exciting.”

  “Whoa, Trigger,” Olivia laughed.

  “Can you tell I’m overjoyed?” Savvy squealed.

  “Completely,” Olivia said sarcastically.

  “I will not curb my enthusiasm. You need to get ramped up.”

  “I know. I will eventually. I guess,” Olivia said, uninterested.

  “By the way, on a totally different subject. I’ve been meaning to ask, how are things with you and Malcolm regarding your concerns about his job? Did you keep from nagging him?” Savvy studied Olivia’s face closely looking for clues.

  Olivia patted herself on the stomach and sipped on her lemonade. “Yes, I haven’t even brought it up. Now, I have this to focus on instead.”

  “This? You’re referring to the beautiful baby you two have been blessed with, right?” Savvy questioned.

  “Yes, of course. What if our baby comes out ugly?”

  “Oh, my goodness, Olivia. What has gotten into you? Both you and Malcolm are knockout gorgeous. There’s no question, you’ll have a child stunning enough to be in magazines.” Savvy huffed in disbelief at Olivia’s question.

  “I hope the baby doesn’t come out dark like me. Their life will be easier not having to deal with their skin color being like mine,” Olivia said sadly.

  “Oh, come on. Are you kidding me? That crazy thought again? You were supposed to be done saying damaging things about yourself when you started dating Malcolm. He likes dark skin,” Savvy fussed.

  “I know. I can’t help it.”

  “It’s time for you to stop thinking your skin has to be light. I know your parents put those ideas in your head. Can you please use your own psychology education on yourself? You have to stop indulging in negative thoughts,” Savvy scolded.

  “It’s easy for you to say. You’re such a pretty, brown color. You probably never had to deal with the same issues I did.”

  “We’re all different shades of color. God has done amazing work in developing many stunning shades and complexions. Why question what He has designed? Please don’t raise your kids to feel bad about dark-skinned people. If you don’t appreciate the Lord’s creation, it would be insulting to Him.”

  “I never thought about it from a spiritual perspective. I wish you’d been around to tell me this years ago,” Olivia said.

  “Well, I’m telling you now. Today is day one for you to straighten out these thoughts in your head. Start living like you know you’re beautiful both inside and out. You’re fearfully and wonderfully made,” Savvy responded.

  “Did you go biblical on me?” Olivia questioned. “Yeah, you’re right. I need to follow my own advice and not let others define who I am. I’ll do my best to raise this baby to appreciate everything about who they are, and how they look.”

  “You definitely have to get a grip on these insecurities. Many children mimic their mothers when it comes to how they see themselves. If you communicate your issues about your looks, they will do the same. You must make sure you’re not saying damaging things about your body image. Do you know what I mean?”

  “Yes, I know exactly what you’re saying. When I think about my mother, I realize she always wears makeup too light in color for her face. Although she has light skin, she wants to pass for white,” Olivia said.

  She continued, “As a teenager, she made me use bleaching cream to try to lighten my skin. Did you know that can cause the development of cancer cells? I could’ve died or ended up infertile from my own mother trying to make me light-skinned.”

  Savvy’s mouth dropped open. “Are you serious? What a horrible thing to do to a child.”

  “My mother wouldn’t let me play out in the sun. She told me if I got too dark, I would blend in with the night. She claimed she wouldn’t be able to find me after the s
un set. My sister got involved in making fun of me, and they both called me Kingsford. It wasn’t until I got older when I figured out, they were comparing my skin color to coal,” Olivia said. She was getting angry thinking about the way they used to torture her.

  “That’s downright mean,” Savvy exclaimed.

  “I don’t ever want our child to experience what I did. It’s painful. I definitely won’t put him or her through the same thing.”

  “Your family is cruel for that. You’re attractive, and it’s sad they can’t appreciate you the way the rest of us do. Your family needs professional help. Don’t let me hear you saying crazy stuff about yourself again. Understood?” Savvy flashed a look to let Olivia know she was serious.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Olivia answered. “It’s amazing how things from our childhood can scar us for life. I don’t even realize what I’m saying sometimes. It’s been a part of my DNA forever. Today is a new day for me. I’ll make sure I change this destructive way of thinking before our baby is born.”

  “Believe me, I’ll put you in check if I hear anything sounding close to badmouthing yourself.” Savvy shook her finger at Olivia.

  “Savvy, I need you in my life to bring me back to reality from time to time. You have a way of putting my head back on straight. Everyone needs a friend like you.” Olivia finished her drink, stood, and hugged Savvy tightly. “Girl, you put your foot in that lemonade. It tasted delicious. I could’ve drunk the whole pitcher myself. I’m feigning for it like a crack addict feigns for drugs. What do you put in it?”

  “Grandma’s ancient Negro recipe,” Savvy said slyly. “If I tell you, I’d have to kill you.”

  “Well, it would be worth dying for. Okay, I better get going. I didn’t realize how late it is.”

  “No problem. I need to get to Hard Body Fitness to get my boot camp workout in.” Savvy stood to open the back door for them to go inside.

  She escorted her through the house to the front. Olivia turned to Savvy and took both of her hands into hers. “Thank you for getting me off the ledge again. What would I do without you?”