Abandoned Hearts (The Ozark Durham Series)

by Regina Tittel

Ann’s mind reeled from his words. Why would he assume we’re in love? True, I’ve never known such a rush of feelings for someone before. But to call it love, how ridiculous! Besides, we’ve just met. For all I know, Jacob might react like this with any woman.

  She realized how pathetic she must be. Twenty-seven years old and never had experienced love, what did that say about her? She had looked for it. Wanted it. Tried to make it happen. But love was elusive, at least for her.

  Love. Ann swallowed hard. Could I really be in love? Surely not. Besides, shouldn’t love bring on feelings of happiness and excitement? Not aggravation and confusion.

  She swirled her fork in the remaining syrup on her plate. The lines slowly returned to a murky puddle, just like her thoughts. Dropping the fork in her plate, she carried her dishes to the sink to clean.

  “Your hands are never going to heal if you keep getting them soaked.”

  Ann jumped and grazed herself with a knife she washed. “Ow!”

  Jacob reached for her hand and examined her thumb with a deep scowl. “What are you trying to do? You don’t have to prove anything by washing dishes. Keep your hands out of the water and let them heal.” He grabbed a paper towel and held it against her cut.

  What right did he have to tell her what to do? Ann jerked her thumb away. “What makes you think I’m trying to prove anything? I’m keeping myself busy. Surely you don’t expect me to sit idle until the creeks go down?”

  Jacob softened his voice. “I’ll find something for you to do. Just keep your cuts dry.”

  “Jacob, I’m not a child. My hands aren’t even that bad. And besides, it’s my body.”

  He narrowed his eyes and gruffly stated, “Then perhaps we need to remedy that.”

  Ann stared at him, expecting a further explanation. Instead of an answer, Jacob turned to fill his plate.

  Luke stepped inside just as two sets of pattering feet entered the hallway. In unison they called out good morning as they raced to the table, Ethan allowed Emily the satisfaction of winning. Luke grinned along with the children and came over to fill his coffee mug. “Did you two sleep good in the big bed?”

  As the conversation began, Ann quietly slipped outside.

  I don’t understand men. Last night, Jacob acted so different. Now he can hardly stand to look at me. If this is the roller coaster Luke referred to…I want off.

  She stomped off in no particular direction, determined to figure out how to get home.

  Chapter Eight

  Ann, mocked by her thoughts, stomped along a rock path leading to the barn. The man was a stranger, and already she allowed his actions to dictate her emotions. Though she tried to keep her guard up and not be too trustful, every time Jacob came near, all previous thought disappeared.

  An animal snorted.

  “Oh, good morning, horse. I guess I should pay attention to where I’m going.” Ann stepped further inside the barn and followed the equine’s beckoning nicker.

  “You know, I read once that Indians used to blow on the horse’s nose to pass on their scent and make it more at ease. Shall we see if it works?”

  The cream colored gelding snorted again and shook his head.

  Ann laughed. “I think you got confused, I’m the one supposed to blow. How about we stick to brushing? I bet you’d enjoy that.”

  ***

  After five minutes of morning chatter, Emily took notice of Ann’s disappearance. Her mouth dropped for a moment before she pinched it closed and turned toward her father. With brows drawn, she demanded, “Hey. Where’s my Ann?”

  Jacob seized the opportunity and rose from the table. “I’ll go get her for you.”

  Ann’s coat still hung beside his, so he grabbed them both. He slipped his feet in his boots without tying them and hurried outside.

  The soggy ground revealed Ann’s tracks leading to the barn. Jacob followed them at a leisurely pace as he pictured her sitting at the table. Her damp hair had been pulled back in a braid and slung over one shoulder. It allowed him full view of her radiant skin, which still glowed from her shower.

  Ann was of a rare quality. He had yet to meet a woman like her that could convey humility, grace, and compassion, but still possess enough confidence and spirit to title her as sassy. It was a fun and intriguing combination. When their gazes had locked, his heart slammed against his chest. Flecks of brown and gold danced on top of bright green in excited expectation. Was it too much to hope the sparkle they held was for him? He’d immediately concealed his feelings, for fear he’d make a fool of himself in front of his father. At the risk of ignoring her, he’d made a quick exit.

  Before he could rationalize his short outburst in the kitchen, he found himself at the lean-to. He stepped around to the barn and looked inside. Ann had a brush in hand and groomed Trigger while she softly hummed a hymn.

  Jacob leaned his shoulder against the entrance and enjoyed the view. “I let him out this morning, and he’s already back?”

  Ann jumped and spun around. “I didn’t realize you were there.”

  He glanced down at her feet. Her shoes were untied as well. What irony. She hurried to get away from me, and I rushed to be with her. He walked to her side and held out the coat so she could slip her arms through. “You must be freezing with that wet hair.”

  She shrugged slender shoulders and slipped her arms through the sleeves of her tattered coat. “Thanks.”

  “You left sort of abruptly, you know.”

  “Well, you weren’t exactly welcoming this morning, so I thought it best if I stepped out.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  “At least that’s a start.” Ann’s gaze flicked toward Jacob and back to the horse as she ran the brush along its flank.

  He frowned and wondered aloud, “A start at what?”

  “Aren’t you going to apologize for last night, too?”

  He grabbed a saddle blanket from the open tack room of the barn and walked back toward Ann, careful to take his time. “I don’t make false apologies. And, judging from the way you kissed me back,” Jacob gently tugged at her thick braid, “you’re not sorry either.”

  Ann didn’t respond. But, if her dropped jaw and colored cheeks she turned to hide were any indication, Jacob knew why.

  He grasped her elbow and turned her to face him. “Am I right or am I wrong?”

  Ann seemed to make a forced effort to meet his gaze. “I’m stuck here until the weather clears, so let’s just be level headed about this, okay?”

  “So you’ve changed tactics.”

  Bewilderment filled her narrow gaze as she jerked her arm from his grasp. “What do you mean by that?

  “Now instead of diverting from the truth, you simply switched topics; clever little maneuver.” Jacob referred to her tactic from the night before.

  “Stop it! Just stop it.”

  Not able to control his smile, Jacob asked, “Stop what?”

  “Infuriating me!” She stomped her foot. “You—you have this way of getting under my skin and it’s maddening.”

  “Have you ever saddled a horse?”

  Ann tilted her head and squinted at Jacob. “What are you talking about?”

  Jacob spoke slowly. “Sad-dl-ing a hor-se. Do you know how?”

  She blinked rapidly. “No.” A firm line replaced her lips.

  Jacob swallowed down laughter that threatened to force its way out.

  “Now who’s switching topics?” She glared.

  “Then I’ll teach you.” Jacob ignored her remark and reached for the brush. He seized Ann’s hand and held her small fist in his large palm. Emotion engulfed him. While aggravating her, he allowed himself to forget how easily she could take his breath away. He searched her face and took note of the soft arch of her brows, the thick lashes that outlined her mesmerizing eyes, and the dimples that tried to hide when she wasn’t smiling. At last, he rested his gaze on her rose colored lips, savoring the memory of them from last night.

  He gently removed the brush from
her hand and swallowed. Take it slow, buddy. Turning to the horse, he spoke to Ann over his shoulder. “Always start on the horse’s left side.” After a few brush strokes, he glanced behind him to make sure he still had an audience. Ann’s gaze met his. She looked…disappointed? Had she expected a kiss?

  Why, he wasn’t sure, but he moved to the saddle blankets to continue Ann’s short education of horse-care, instead of kissing her. The timing. The timing wasn’t right. “Annie, aren’t you going to follow me?”

  As though jolted from deep thoughts, Ann jumped before she turned to face him. For the second time this morning, he saw color stain her cheeks. He didn’t bother to hide his smile. This was too much fun.

  Ann diverted her eyes. She left the stall unlatched and strode over to where the saddle and blankets were stored.

  “Looks like you have more than one admirer.” Jacob nodded at the horse that walked up behind her.

  Ann scrunched her brow in question before Trigger lowered his head over her shoulder and pulled her back to his chest in a hug.

  She laughed, a joyful noise, and reached up to rub his nose. “And, who would my other admirer be?”

  “Emily, of course.” Jacob ducked his head to hide his grin. She wanted a direct answer, but he couldn’t control the fun of teasing her.

  “Humph.” Ann turned her full attention to the beige and cream colored gelding. “Why did you name him Trigger?”

  While he continued with the tack, Jacob answered, “I’m sure you’ve heard of Roy Rogers and his horse, Trigger. Well, I figured since mine is a Palomino and just as faithful, it fit.”

  “What did you call him before he proved his faithfulness?”

  “Horse.”

  She tilted her head to the side and stared at him. Was his logic too hard for her to follow?

  Her eyes widened as her focus changed to the tack behind him. “I know you’re a strong build Jacob, but surely you don’t need a saddle that size?”

  Unable to suppress his smirk, Jacob leaned toward Ann. “Taking note of my build, are you? Maybe later you can tell me what other notes you’re making.”

  Ann tossed her fist onto her hip and narrowed her gaze. “Don’t get over confident. They may not all be positive.”

  Jacob ignored her humor. “I have this saddle for when the kids ride with me. They can sit in front and hold the reins. That way they learn how to handle Trigger and I’m close by.”

  “That’s considerate.”

  He quirked an eyebrow. “See, I’m not all brute.” He placed his hand on the small of her back and steered her toward the door. “Let’s get back to the house. Emily asked for you and I still need to take a look at your knee.”

  As they walked toward the cabin, he asked, “I’m curious about something. Yesterday you mentioned life’s been insulting. Why?”

  He noticed her shoulders tense and added, “You don’t have to divulge all your secrets at once if you don’t want to.”

  Ann looked up at him with relief in her eyes. “You mean I don’t have to tell you what happened in third grade?” She raised her brows in a playful gesture.

  “Right.” He paused then rubbed the back of his neck. “What did happen in third grade?”

  Ann laughed. “What fairy tale book have you been reading that says the lady has to tell all to her hero?”

  She reached for the door and Jacob covered her hand with his. “So, you’re saying I’m your hero?” Ann’s eyes darted around. He’d gotten to her. “And I believe the lady in fairy tales is always a princess, right?”

  Ann returned her attention to Jacob. Her expression held sweet disbelief. Her lips parted as she stared up at him.

  Was her heart pounding as hard as his?

  Jacob moved forward and brought his lips close to her ear. “You better be careful, ’cause if you keep looking at me like that, you’ll find yourself kissed again.”

  Ann’s sweet exhale lightly brushed against his cheek. He leaned in, their lips so close. Her eyes fluttered closed. His heart began a rapid beat as if it were their first kiss.

  “Ann!” Emily swung open the door, tearing the doorknob from Ann’s grasp. Jacob wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him as momentum fought to throw her to the ground.

  “I’m afraid this is becoming a habit for us.” Ann gave him a thankful smile.

  Luke stuck his head around the door from inside. “What’s all the commotion about?”

  A blush filled Ann’s face as she and Luke exchanged glances. She pulled free from Jacob’s embrace and cleared her throat. What silent message did his father share with her?

  ***

  With the family as an audience in the kitchen when Jacob doctored her cuts, Ann was relieved of his whims of passion, now much to her dismay. The children hovered close by as Jacob removed the gauze. Emily oohed and Ethan thought it would make a cool scar. Aside from her knee being stiff, everything was in good repair. She even agreed to a horse ride after the children had their turns.

  When Jacob and Ethan left for the first ride, Ann turned to Emily. “Can I help you with your chores?”

  Emily’s eyes brightened and she grasped Ann’s hand. “Yeah, follow me.”

  Outside, the weather had cleared and though the clouds still hung low in the sky, the air was momentarily free of moisture. Ann found herself led to the oak-sided chicken house where Emily chattered continually and informed her of the names of each hen and rooster.

  “And these new, little chicks are named Princess, Diamond and Diamond.”

  Ann contained her laugh with effort. “Why did you name two of them with the same name?”

  “Because silly, they’re twins.” She then added in a matter of fact tone and a toss of her head, “They look just alike.”

  Ann held the basket while Emily gathered the eggs, shooing hens from their nests with comfortable ease. The enthusiastic youth chattered so quickly, bouncing from one subject to the next, Ann could no longer follow the conversation. But, when there was a lull in Emily’s chatter it brought Ann’s gaze to the child. The little bundle of energy stared at her with moist eyes.

  “What is it, honey?” Had she failed to answer her? Had Emily felt ignored?

  “Ann…” Her lips formed a pout. “I wish you were my mommy.”

  Ann’s quick intake of breath was followed by a tightening sensation in her chest. It took all she had to keep from crying for the pain that was clearly evident in Emily’s eyes. She bit her lip and silently asked God for courage. Was this the devil’s way of having fun at her expense? As if opening up an old wound, her heart again longed to hold the little girl she was forced to walk away from. The pain reflected in Emily’s eyes was something she saw all too often as a nanny.

  “But don’t you get to see your mommy?” Ann kneeled down to eye level.

  “I don’t have one. And I don’t talk about it with Daddy, ‘cause he gets kinda sad.” Emily looked at the ground and scuffed her toe in the dirt.

  Ann gently lifted Emily’s chin. “How about I pray that God would send you the perfect mom?”

  “But He already has. Grandpa and I prayed, and you came.” She turned around and yelled, “Beat you to the house.” She ran ahead of Ann.

  Ann quickly gathered up the eggs that remained and followed after Emily. God, I don’t know what to make of this, so I’ll leave it in Your capable hands. But please don’t let her heart be broken… And please protect mine, too.

  When Ann reentered the house a muffled voice sounded from somewhere near the front room. “Come find me.”

  Ann smiled with delight. Playing was one of her favorite things about being around children. Lost in a land of make-believe, happiness knew no bounds.

  Feigning ignorance, Ann took her time looking under the table and behind the recliner before moving to the couch. Unable to contain her enthusiasm, the little girl exploded with laughter from underneath an afghan and jumped into Ann’s arms as she came near.

  Emily’s soft hands grasped Ann’s face
and held it in view of her own. “Miss Ann, why are your eyes shiny?”

  Ann cleared her throat. “Because playing with you makes me so happy. Now, why don’t you tell me where your brush is and I’ll work on those tangles.”

  Emily’s interest quickly moved past Ann’s teary eyes. “I want my hair braided just like yours.”

  While Ann combed out Emily’s long blonde hair, she warmed to the pleasant chatter of the happy little girl. “Did you know I used to have a rooster named, Peeper?”

  Ann smiled as she reached for the ponytail holder Emily held out. “No, I didn’t know that. What happened to him?”

  “Well first,” she huffed and turned to face Ann, who quickly finished securing the braid, “you need to know that all of his feathers grew backwards.”

  A giggle escaped Ann’s lips. “I’ve never heard of a chicken with backward feathers.”

  “It is true. They curled up like…hmmm.” She tapped a finger to her chin. “Like when Grandpa peels a carrot. Just like that. Anyways, he died. The other chickens didn’t like him much. Prob’bly ‘cause of his feathers.”

  “I’m sorry to hear th-,” before Ann could finish, Emily grabbed her hand and pulled toward her room.

  “Now you can read me a book then I’ll let you play hide and seek with me again, only next time you can hide first.”

  Ann was happy to oblige and humored that she was being allowed to play.

  Ethan returned from his ride just as Emily began to plot aloud their next adventure. By this time, Ann was grateful for the interruption.

  In his best cowboy impersonation, Ethan asked, “Are you ready to ride?”

  His sister squealed with excitement as she made for the door. Ann noticed she’d left her coat and came after her as Jacob mentioned it missing. He turned and smiled as she approached.

  “See you for lunch.” Ann waved as she backed toward the house.

  ***

  Jacob helped Emily onto Trigger before he mounted behind her. As they rode off he turned to look back. Ann still stood near the cabin watching. He snapped a mental photo. That was a sight he wanted to hold on to.

  Not one to be quiet, Emily stole her dad’s attention as she relayed all she and Ann did together. But what really caught his interest was what she told him next. “She also told me she likes you!”