Abandoned Hearts (The Ozark Durham Series)

by Regina Tittel

  “Hmm…forgotten in time are you?” Ann absently spoke out loud, as she took in the nostalgic atmosphere created by the dim, broken light. Old tools hung on the adjacent barn wall along with ropes of twine and a broken bridle. The stories this old place could tell.

  The light changed, as if a shadow passed by. Ann’s breath froze. “Is someone else here?”

  Above, loft boards creaked. Dust sprinkled into the shafts of light around her. Her mind raced as a rapid pounding claimed her heart. Don’t panic. She forced a breath against the tightening of her chest.

  Frantic eyes searched for an exit. The stall door held her only escape. Ann took shallow breaths as she moved toward the other side of the room, sawdust softened her footsteps. Once there, she paused and nervously twirled her hair.

  The open front of the barn stood partially visible. Ann strained to see or hear something…anything outside the opening. She started forward.

  Thump.

  A startled shriek escaped her lips.

  Had something heavy fallen from the loft?

  She held her breath. A crash followed a blur of movement. Something large made a quick retreat.

  Ann screamed.

  Another thump sounded. Something heavy approached on the wooden floor. Ann screamed again and turned to run. She whirled and tripped over her own feet. She tried to crawl toward the safety of the old car but something snagged her jeans. Her pulse sounded in her ears as panic pushed tears from her eyes.

  Jacob burst through the opening. “Annie, Annie!” He picked her up, unsnagging her jeans from barbed wire.

  Ann collapsed in Jacob’s arms and began to weep. “I’m so sorry. I forgot about the cougar, and…and I saw something and got sc-scared and didn’t know what to do.”

  Jacob held her to his chest. “Come on. Let’s get you home so I can give you the scolding you deserve.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jacob led Ann to Trigger, tied by the road. When he moved to help her up, the horse shied away. “Well, what’s got you so worked up?”

  Jacob rubbed the horse’s neck and turned him around a couple of times before he tried again, this time succeeding. Though he didn’t want to give an already frightened Ann reason for more hysterics, Jacob could tell the horse was spooked. What had scared him? What if Ann had really been in danger? Frustration gnawed away. Ann’s stubbornness could have gotten her hurt. If what had frightened her and the horse was the cougar, would it have attacked her to defend its den? Jacob didn’t know, but one thing for sure, he couldn’t stand the thought of her being hurt. He kept his thoughts to himself and avoided conversation until his home came into view.

  Then he asked the question eating away at him. “What gave you the hair-brained idea to go off by yourself knowing the dangers around here?”

  “I’m not in the mood for lectures. In fact, stop the horse, I want off.”

  “Not a chance. You must have gotten your senses spooked out of you back there. Now, what were you doing?”

  “Taking a walk.”

  "Alone, without a rifle. Not the smartest thing to do."

  "And, what's it to you? I'll be out of your hair tomorrow. Then you won't have to worry about me anymore, except for the church thing on Sunday. You can still cancel if you want."

  "Not on your life."

  Silence. Did she want him to bale? Did she think he was glad she was leaving?

  When they reached the cabin, Ann swung her leg over the neck of the horse and dismounted before Jacob.

  “Women,” he muttered, as he unsaddled his mount and watched her stomp into the house.

  Jacob entered through the back door a few minutes later, and spied Ann cutting out biscuits on the counter. Although she greeted him politely, she wouldn’t bring her eyes to meet his. He’d stayed outside to tend the animals and give her time to get over being upset. It hadn’t been enough.

  “Hey, Dad. Look at my castle.” Ethan proudly showed off his popsicle-stick craft.

  Jacob leaned over the kitchen table and examined the drawbridge. “I’m impressed. Really impressed. You have talent, Son.”

  Emily emerged from her room and ran passed Jacob’s open arms. She hugged Ann’s waist and looked up.

  “Do you want to help, Sweetie?” Ann didn’t need to ask for a chair. Jacob anticipated her need and pulled one to the counter as Emily climbed up. He barely heard Ann’s thank you before she showed Emily what to do. He was glad she could keep a sweet tone when talking to his kids, even though she’d lost it toward him. He sighed and walked back outside, glad to see Ethan follow him. At least he had still had one fan.

  Dinner passed without incident. Though any conversation Ann directed toward Jacob was stinted and void of feeling, at least she hadn’t ignored him completely. He brought in firewood for the night while Ann stayed busy in the kitchen. Supposedly, with clean-up.

  Jacob walked up beside her and took the broom. “Would you stop and rest? You haven’t sat still all evening.”

  Catching her glance before her eyes fell to the floor, Jacob’s heart fell with them. In that fleeting moment, he recognized the raw pain he often saw in his own reflection. He took her arms in his hands and turned her toward him. “What’s bothering you, Annie?”

  Her eyes fell back to the floor. “Nothing, I’m fine. But I am tired, so I think I’ll call it an early night.” She eased away from his grip and walked toward his children. His arms dropped to his sides. Somehow they were emptier now, than they were before he held her.

  “Annie…”

  “Goodnight, kids. I’m heading to bed early, but I’ll see you in the morning.” They exchanged hugs before Ann turned down the hall and closed the door to her room.

  The sudden stillness in the house felt unnatural. Ethan and Emily looked at him with questioning eyes. Though Ann had only been with them for a few nights, they were already accustomed to being together.

  Emily asked, “What do you want to do, Dad?”

  “Yeah, I’m bored.” Ethan dropped a puzzle piece back to the floor.

  “I think we’ll all go to bed early.”

  Ethan rose without complaint. “Good, ‘cause it’s no fun without Ann.”

  The children walked down the hall to ready themselves for bed. Jacob ran a hand through his hair. Bored? How could they be bored? Their evenings had always been just the three of them. But what had they done? His mind was so focused on Ann he couldn’t remember.

  ***

  The clock struck one and Jacob realized he’d never be able to sleep unless he talked to Ann. He walked down the hall and rested his temple on her door. Softly, he rapped his knuckle against it. “Annie, I know you’re awake, too. We need to talk.”

  He didn’t hear a response and knocked again. How could she sleep? He cracked open the door intent on waking her.

  Ann gasped, “What are you doing?”

  “Why didn’t you answer?” His voice was irritated.

  “I was going to put my jeans on and come out.” She wore his button-down shirt and held the jeans in front of her.

  Jacob sighed and walked in. He opened his mouth to say something when Ann cut him off, “Do you mind?” She asked, as she held her jeans higher.

  “Give me those.” Jacob jerked them from her hands and tossed them on the bed. “You didn’t have them on the other night, why be shy now?”

  Ann tilted her chin upward. “I would have if I’d known you were on the couch.” She grabbed her jeans, brushed past him, and walked out of the room.

  Jacob softened his voice as he followed her. “Look Annie, I didn’t come in there with the intent to ruffle your feathers.”

  She closed the bathroom door in his face.

  A few moments passed and it reopened with Ann in her jeans. Her eyes widened to see Jacob had waited for her in the hall. She sighed and headed toward the living room.

  Jacob followed close behind. “You would hardly meet my eyes all evening and I can’t seem to be able to think, eat, or sleep knowing you’re u
pset with me.” He exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair.

  Ann shifted her feet and looked at the floor as if it would offer her wisdom.

  Jacob reached for her and pulled her closer. He rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand. “I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me what’s bothering you.” He traced the length of her arm and pulled her closer, still.

  She leaned into him before she gave her head a slight shake, and pulled back. He kept his hold and searched her eyes.

  She was afraid.

  “Annie, I’ll never do anything to hurt you. Tell me what it is.”

  She rested her head on his chest and sighed. “Jacob,” she paused and drew in a deep breath. “I can’t stand the thought of being away from you and your family for one day—” her voice cracked, “and you’re willing to put me off for six.” She gave in to the small sobs that waited to escape.

  “Oh, Annie.” Jacob smiled as he took her up in his arms and sat down on the side of the couch. Gently, he pried Ann’s hands away from her face. “Please don’t hide. I love it that you would miss us that much. Though, I selfishly hope it’s more me than anyone else.”

  He waited for her response then took her silence as consent. “The truth is, I spent extra time in the barn trying to figure out an excuse to see you sooner. I’m sorry I couldn’t come up with anything better the first time. I’m on unfamiliar ground here.”

  Ann released a small hiccup. “I’m sorry I didn’t handle myself better. I thought I could reign in my emotions before you caught on, but I should’ve known better.” As she wiped her eyes, she added, “My mother always told me not to wear my heart on my sleeve, but I guess I never knew where-else to hide it.”

  He lifted her chin so he could clearly see her eyes. “That’s good to hear, that way I’ll always know if something’s wrong, and I can fix it before it becomes a problem.”

  “Always?”

  “Always.” Jacob kissed her solidly.

  Having her close once more was all the excuse he needed to give in to the desires that tempted him since her arrival. He deepened his kiss, yet, still yearned for more. His fingers laced through her hair and pulled her head back far enough to expose her tender neck. He trailed kisses along her shoulder to her ear and nibbled her lobe. Ann sighed and reached around Jacob to draw him closer.

  Not wanting to acknowledge where they were headed, they continued with more intensity. Jacob eased back against the cushions and brought Ann with him.

  What was he doing?

  Convicted, he paused. The last thing he wanted was to disrespect Ann. And why should he behave this way now, when he never had in the past? His first wife had been the only woman he ever dated and they’d respected the Bible’s instructions about fleeing from sexual immorality. But, there was something about Ann that caused his brain to go dead, and his body to shift into overdrive.

  She deserved better. He released his possessive hold.

  Ann whispered, “Thank you.”

  “I like you, Annie…a lot. And not only do I never want to hurt you, I also don’t want to disrespect you.” He paused. “Would you mind if I just held you in my arms for awhile?”

  She nestled next to him as his hand lovingly caressed her hair.

  ***

  Jacob had held Ann next to him until she’d fallen asleep then carried her back to her room and took his designated spot on the couch. Raw emotion surged through him. His desires suddenly changed from selfish and lustful to something he couldn’t quite describe.

  Dawn broke as he tried to put her from his thoughts long enough to concentrate on chores. He planned to drive Ann home but still needed to retrieve one of the wheels from her uncle’s truck to have the tire repaired. That, along with his normal routine, would easily occupy him well up to noon.

  Jacob still didn’t want her to leave. But, what he could say that would give Ann the assurance she needed? Marriage? What woman wouldn’t run at the notion after only three days of knowing each other? And, did he even love her? His head began to pound. This was entirely too much pre-coffee thought. He shoved his feet into his weathered boots and hurried outside, in hopes the new day would shine some light into his troubled soul.

  Jacob peered across the field at the changing landscape. Winter was slowly giving way to spring, proving itself by forming tiny buds at the end of desolate branches that lined the rolling pasture and any spot that hadn’t been cleared. He should see this as a sign of rebirth and hope. Instead, it reminded him of his past.

  It had been a day much like this when his wife walked out. He’d never understood what drove her to walk away from him, but accepted it. What he couldn’t accept, was how she was able to walk away from their children…and never look back.

  Though the memory was painful, it was one he often relived. Ethan, their six-year-old son, had stood by his side without a sound and watched his mother throw her belongings into an old suitcase. Two-year-old Emily picked up on the tension and followed their mother around the house, crying and begging to be held. Every time Jacob tried to comfort her, she would squeal and cry, “Mommy, Mommy!”

  When the car finally started out the driveway, Ethan broke away from his father’s side and ran after her yelling in drawn out words, “Don’t—leave—us!” He ran until his mother’s car was out of sight then dropped to his knees. He’d drawn in ragged breaths of air in between each cry. The sound of his broken heart still weighed heavily on Jacob’s.

  Somehow, he’d failed.

  Jacob and his children had made it for two years and thanks to the help and support of his father, they would continue to survive. But this morning, he sensed it was his Heavenly Father that wanted to help. Slowly, a verse from his youth sprang to mind, “Lean not on thy own understanding, but in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

  That was exactly what Jacob had not done. When Elizabeth walked out of his life, he’d shut God out, too. Though he still went to church every Sunday out of routine: the children would go to Sunday school: he would sit in the pew through service. He kept his heart cold and refused the comfort of the Lord. Why? Did his sense of failure lead him to think God would no longer love him? Or was it a way to punish himself, considering he must have been a lousy husband or Elizabeth would have stayed? Knowing the latter was closer to the truth, Jacob allowed the familiar doubt to rise again as he thought of Ann.

  Would he fail her too?

  Chapter Fifteen

  The morning proved cool and damp, the air hung like a thick web. Sleep prickled his legs like needles, but Elijah Stevenson fought the urge to move. He’d ventured out early to scout for turkeys before opening season. If he was correct, he’d beaten the fowl before they left their roosts, thus giving him the edge. The dawn just made its crest, now all he had to do was stay alert.

  A mysterious aura surrounded him. Goosebumps prickled his skin for no reason at all. He often prided himself for being mature for his 14 years, yet found his bravado in a decline on this particular morning. Movement from his left caught his attention. He froze. Was it a turkey? Would his efforts pay off? He released the breath he’d unconsciously held, and waited as still as possible. As time ticked away, silence was the only response, as if everything had suddenly frozen over. Had it been this quiet before? Unwilling to allow his fears to become false illusions, Elijah forced himself to relax. Although, he still had a vulnerable feeling of being watched.

  After what seemed an eternity, his patience finally won out. Over the ridge, he heard the familiar call of a gobbler as he descended from his roost. Elijah made a mental note of its position and listened for the expected answering calls.

  Snap!

  Off to his side and behind, a small branch broke from beneath the weight of its trespasser. Now, Elijah knew he wasn’t alone. Since he was doing preseason scouting, he’d left his shotgun at home. His unease grew. He shifted his weight to ease his escape should he need to leave quickly. Moments passed while he debated his next course of ac
tion when a group of birds moved upon him from his right. They were led by an impressionable-sized gobbler, unaware of Elijah’s presence. Entranced by their magnificence, his attention became absorbed in their display.

  A hen turned her head to peer past Elijah and made a “put” sound to alarm the flock of possible danger. Several of the other birds surveyed the dense foliage with beady, anxious eyes. What started as one “put”, turned into several as the birds sensed a danger unforeseen by the boy. He stiffened, unsure what to do. A noise sounded. Then a large blur shot from the undergrowth and scattered the flock to the air and trees.

  Dominated by fear, Elijah leaped from the ground and sprinted as fast as his legs would allow. He didn’t dare look back as he pushed his body to its limits. His lungs burned as if they would burst from the strain. He broke forth from the trees but didn’t stop until he flung the backdoor open and collided with his mother.

  “What in the name of all that’s good has gotten into you?”

  Breathless, Elijah fought to reclaim his composure. “I—I have chores to finish before school, that’s all.”

  ***

  Ann awoke with mixed feelings. It was clear Jacob was attracted to her, but she wanted the whole deal. And though she had opened up to him, he’d never given the full assurance she needed.

  Her limbs seemed weighted as she went about the morning. The children were too distracted to concentrate well on school. Again, Emily crawled onto her lap and leaned against her. “I wish you would stay forever, Miss Ann.”

  What could she say? Sunday had already been mentioned but it had provided as little comfort to the children as it had Ann. It still stood six days away.