Smoke and Mirrors: A Demented Sons MC Texas Novel

by Kristine Allen

  By then, there were three of us working and we were busy as hell.

  Things were finally at a place where things were running smoothly enough that I was mostly in an administrative position. Lock, Truth, and Clay worked in the bays. Which was good, because lately, my position with the club had been stressful as hell. Knowing the shop was staffed with guys who didn’t fuck around and loved it as much as I did was a relief.

  One less headache.

  Because fuck knew I had enough of that.

  It seemed like it’d been one thing after another. The shit Styx’s ex stirred up with the Vagabonds, then the mess with Lock, Slice getting run off the road. Fuck, I was ready for shit to calm down.

  Except now I had Mattie trying to be grown.

  “We gonna have that Road Glide outta here today?” I asked Lock as we walked in the open bay.

  “Hell yeah. No problem. Already called the guy yesterday. And the Fat Boy is heading out today too,” he confirmed.

  “Yep, and I’ve got those two Indians about done too,” piped in Clay from his rolling stool. Even after losing both his legs in a freak accident, he was still at it every day. In fact, he opened the shop for me each morning, since he lived less than a mile from there.

  “Awesome. Thanks, guys.”

  “I have several services lined up for today,” added Truth. “The Sportster I was fighting with went out yesterday.”

  “Thank God. I wish people would quit trying to do shit themselves if they don’t know what they’re doing,” I grumbled.

  “Amen,” said Lock as he shook his head. “Then again, it keeps the doors open.”

  Clay chuckled. “True.”

  “Hey, Lock. When is Gunny going to be back? We could really use him now that Jeff moved to Dallas.” I was flipping through the work orders we had lined up. Gunny had made the jump finally—after hemming and hawing for damn near a year.

  “He said it should be next week. He’ll be staying with me until he finds a decent place, but he wants to start working right away,” Lock said as he was pulling out the tools he needed for his current project.

  “Good shit.”

  “Oh, sorry, bossman, you have someone in the office waiting for you.” Clay winced as he made his announcement.

  “What? It’s early as hell. Who is it?”

  He shrugged. “Didn’t get a name. I was busy getting shit turned on.”

  Sighing, I hoped it wasn’t another fire I needed to put out.

  My boots pounded across the concrete as I crossed the bay and opened the door to the front office and showroom. A few steps, and I was in the office doorway.

  There was a woman sitting with her back to me as she thumbed through shit on her phone. Shiny blonde hair was in a sleek bun, showing off the curve of her neck. It was one of my favorite things about a woman.

  “I hope you haven’t been waiting long. Can I help you?”

  At the sound of my voice, she startled and jumped to her feet. Wide blue eyes stared at me as her plump red lips parted. “Grayson.”

  Recognition hit me like a sledgehammer, and it was hard to breathe. “Nova?”

  “Breaking Point”—Through Fire

  It had been nearly sixteen years since I’d seen him, and the beautiful boy I remembered from my childhood had grown into a rough and sexy beast of a man. Not that I was completely surprised. I’d researched him heavily over the past month as I formulated my plan.

  A plan that he was a key player in. Except he had no clue.

  Facing him had me having serious second thoughts. He had been a bold boy, a faithful soldier, and a good husband.

  To my best friend.

  Fuck. Maybe this was a mistake.

  “Nova?” His repeating my name made me realize I’d been mutely staring at him.

  “Grayson. How have you been?” Ridiculously nervous, I squeezed my cell phone.

  “Good. You?” He took a step closer, and I caught a whiff of his spicy cologne. It was very different from the Polo he used to wear in high school.

  “Great!” My voice came out an octave higher than normal, and I inwardly winced. This was not going the way I’d envisioned it. A powerful force to be reckoned with in a courtroom, I was suddenly a stuttering, nervous wreck.

  “What are you doing here?” He looked and sounded wary. I knew me standing in front of him likely brought up a lot of painful memories. It had to, because seeing him made my chest feel like it had been ripped open. For so many reasons.

  Swallowing hard, I cleared my throat to buy time. “Well, um, I moved here. I have an apartment in Georgetown.”

  Surprise flashed across his ruggedly handsome face, followed by what seemed to be frustration, before he composed himself. “Well, welcome to the area. How did you know I was here?”

  “Um, I stopped to see your parents. The last time I went home before I left Houston. They mentioned you lived in the area and that I should swing by to say hi since I was going to be living here,” I rambled. That was true. What I didn’t mention was that my plan had begun to form then.

  Now that I was standing in front of him, I wasn’t so sure it was one of my best.

  “Hmm.” His answer was noncommittal.

  Deciding it might be best to retreat and regroup, I leaned over to grab my purse from next to the chair. As I stood, I thought I caught him looking down my blouse.

  Whether he was or wasn’t, my face flamed because I found myself wishing he had been. That line of thinking was wrong. So very wrong, all things considered.

  “Umm, I guess I’ll go. I just wanted to say hello and let you know I was here. I thought….” I couldn’t finish. Instead, I shrugged.

  “You thought what?” He sounded calm and unaffected, but I could see his pulse pounding on his throat. Great, I pissed him off.

  Fan-fucking-tastic.

  “Nothing, really. I, well….” Scrambling, I dug in my purse for the small metal case. After I found it, I fumbled to get it open. Slipping one of my business cards out, I offered it to him. “In case you wanted to catch up.”

  For interminable seconds, he simply stared at my outstretched hand. When I didn’t think he was going to take it, the card began to shake in my fingers. Right when I moved to take it back, he reached for it.

  As he took it from me, his fingertips brushed mine.

  The zing that shot from where we’d touched to my brain was instantaneous. It was also so much more than what he used to make me feel. It was both shocking and heart-wrenching.

  Heart-wrenching because he seemed completely unaffected as he read the card with a frown.

  “You’re an attorney?”

  “Yes. Family Law.”

  In the courtroom, I was a shark. I’d actually gotten a cheating husband to have to pay for his now ex-wife’s tampons. My passion was women who’d been wronged by their cheating or abusive husbands. Which was why when Gordie did what he did, I was embarrassed by my naivety.

  “Maybe we could do lunch sometime?” I tried again.

  At my question, his eyes flashed from my card to me. The pain that flickered in those green eyes was gone so fast I thought I may’ve imagined it. Regret replaced it.

  “Nova, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

  Disappointed, I tried to pretend it was no big deal. “Oh. Okay, I understand.”

  I dropped my phone in my purse and slid the strap up to my shoulder. With a last sad smile, I turned and moved toward the front door. Forcing one foot in front of the other, I held my head high. Everything in me ached at walking away from him. It troubled me that after all this time he still affected me.

  For years I’d been able to push him to the back of my mind. What were the odds that after deciding to make a fresh start, I ended up in his damn backyard? If only I’d gone home before making my decision to move to central Texas. Maybe I’d have picked somewhere else.

  Like New York City.

  Then maybe I wouldn’t have hatched my stupid-as-hell idea.

  As I
tried to swallow the huge lump burning in my throat, I grabbed the door handle and pulled. The bright Texas sun hit me full force, and I slid my sunglasses on.

  “Nova! Wait,” his baritone voice called, and I froze.

  Trying to compose myself, I spun around slowly. “Yeah?”

  “Are you busy over lunch today?” By his expression, I could tell that his brain and his mouth hadn’t been on the same wavelength.

  “Uh, no?” It came out as a question, and I had no idea why. It would seem my body parts weren’t communicating well, either. “I mean, no. I don’t officially start work until next week. I just need to stop by the firm to finalize a few things. It shouldn’t take me long.”

  My heart was pounding nervously. This was Grayson. I’d known him all my life. We’d lived next door to each other, and he’d been one of my only friends, because I’d been homeschooled.

  Except he’d gone and fallen for the one girl I’d made friends with after returning to public school. I’d tried to pretend it didn’t bother me. Even when he’d then married Anna after getting her pregnant at the end of his senior year. There was no reason to be on edge around him, though.

  But the little devil inside me was cackling with glee that I’d be having lunch with him. It prodded me, telling me I needed to ask him.

  “Okay. How about if I text you, then you let me know when you’re done. We can meet at the Monument Café.” He had one hand braced high on the doorjamb, which caused his shirt to ride up.

  Though I willed my eyes to behave, they wouldn’t listen. That sliver of taut abs beckoned them, and I was powerless to fight it. That led to dropping my traitorous gaze to his muscular thighs and, ahem, the very nice package between them. Sweet Jesus, a man in his mid thirties shouldn’t look that good. Realizing I was staring, I blinked rapidly and met his gaze. There may have been humor lighting up his eyes.

  Okay, there definitely was, and I’d definitely been caught ogling his body.

  “That works. I’ll see you there.” Without waiting for a response, I rushed to my car to hide my flaming cheeks. I couldn’t get that thing started quick enough. The AC was blowing full force, but it barely touched the heat radiating from me.

  Unknown number: See you at the Monument. Text me

  Short, sweet, and to the point. I replied with a thumbs-up emoji because I wasn’t sure what else to say at that point.

  “Holy shit. Nova, what the fuck are you thinking?” My hand slapped to my forehead, and I closed my eyes. I knew I was bordering on insanity but I didn’t have a lot of options.

  I’d texted Grayson to tell him I was on my way. He’d answered with a short “Ok” and that was it.

  Not sure if I should go in or wait outside, I finally decided to go in and get a table. Right as I was about to enter the doors, the roar of a motorcycle filled the air. Pausing because I knew Grayson had ridden a bike to his shop earlier, I watched the beast of a bike pull in.

  He had a helmet on, but I recognized the jeans and shirt he’d had on earlier. The back patch looked familiar but I couldn’t place it. It had been a while since I’d had anything to do with that life.

  To say I hadn’t been prepared for the man version of Grayson was an understatement. My memories of him were completely blown away by his reality.

  I was mesmerized by the movement of his muscles under his clothes as he backed it in and shut it off. Since he was there, I waited outside for him. As he tugged off the helmet, his pale eyes locked on mine.

  He only hesitated a moment before he hung the helmet on his handlebar and got off. Long, powerful strides ate up the asphalt as he closed in on me. The closer he got, the harder my heart pounded and the more difficult it was to breathe.

  “Nova.”

  “Grayson.”

  He opened the door, and as I stepped through, his hand rested on my lower back for a moment. Long enough to scald my skin and leave me shivering when it was gone.

  Once we were seated and the waitress had taken our order, an awkward silence ensued. Unsure what to say, I played with my straw paper.

  “So a lawyer, huh?” he finally said.

  Forcing a smile, I looked up into his sea-green eyes and nodded. “Yes.”

  The corner of his full lips rose, and he shook his head. “Should’ve known. You always were too smart for your own good.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, genuinely curious.

  He shrugged. “You were advanced two grades because you were that far ahead of everyone. That’s fucking smart. Not to mention how you could argue a point until the sun went down.”

  Suddenly self-conscious, I rubbed my index finger across my lips. “It’s not that I was that smart, I’d just been homeschooled year-round so I’d worked ahead.”

  A bark of laughter escaped him. “Don’t downplay it. You were a smart girl.”

  My shoulders drooped a little. “Well, I don’t feel like I’ve been very smart lately.”

  “Why would you say that?” His head cocked to the side as he watched me obliterate the straw wrapper.

  It was my turn to shrug. Then I deftly changed the subject. “How’s Mattie doing? I’d love to see her again.”

  He slouched in the booth. “God deliver me from hormonal teenage girls. I don’t know if you’d want to see her right now. She’s a handful.”

  I giggled. “That good, huh?”

  “She’s going to be the death of me. Everything is a battle with her. What terrifies me is that she’s the same age as her mom was….” His voiced cracked. “You’d think after sixteen years it wouldn’t be so hard to talk about.”

  Without thinking, I reached out to cover his hand with mine. Again that jolt of electricity hit me. “I’m sorry. God, that seems so inadequate.”

  “For years I’ve done pretty good. Today was just rough because she started her junior year of high school, which was when she was conceived, and hell if she doesn’t look exactly like Anna did. To top it off, she tried to go to school dressed like a damn stripper.” His eyes rolled and he sighed.

  “Yikes. I’m sure it’s typical teenage assertion of independence and trying to find her identity.” I tried my best to offer something in the way of advice, but parenting wasn’t one of my skills. That thought sent a pang through my chest and reminded me why I’d gone to see him.

  “Do you have any idea what it’s like to worry about teenage boys like I was chasing after her and trying to get in her damn britches? Fuck, I don’t think I even want to know if she’s done anything, but then again I want to make sure she’s safe. Not that I regret having her, but it was hard having to suddenly grow up. I want her to be able to enjoy her youth without as many responsibilities. And I don’t want to go to jail for killing some teenage boy.” He dropped his head for a moment.

  Pulling my lips between my teeth, I fought laughter, because I knew it wouldn’t help. But I also figured it probably wasn’t as bad as he was making it out to be. Granted, I wasn’t a typical teenage girl when I was in high school. For one, I was two years younger than most of the kids in my grade. That made me three years younger than him.

  Another reminder of my ticking biological clock. I’d be thirty-two in a few weeks.

  “What about you? You ever get married? Have kids?” He glanced at my glaringly empty ring finger.

  He had no idea how painful his words were to me.

  “No. Things never seemed to… work out.” The waitress thankfully saved me when she arrived with our food.

  Ask him.

  Instead, I shoved a bite of food in my mouth. I already knew he’d never remarried. His parents had been quick to tell me that. It was one reason why I’d felt comfortable approaching him with my harebrained scheme.

  Unless he was seeing someone his parents didn’t know about.

  Shit.

  Gathering my courage, I tried to sound cool and unaffected.

  “What about you? You ever remarry?” I knew he hadn’t.

  “No,” he said between bites.


  Delaying, I shoveled some of the delicious food into my mouth. The restaurant was bustling but iconic. Too bad that had nothing to do with what I needed to know. Swallowing, I washed the mouthful down with a drink before building up the courage to continue.

  “You seeing anyone? If so, maybe she could talk to Mattie.” Smooth, Nova. Good job. I mentally patted myself on the back.

  “No. I don’t have time to date. Between the shop, my club, and Mattie, there’s not enough of me to go around.”

  “Club?” I questioned like I didn’t know what he was talking about. Of course, I’d noticed the leather cut he was wearing when he came in. It had several patches, but the two that caught my eye said PRESIDENT and SMOKE.

  “Yeah,” he answered.

  “You’re the president?” I pointed toward the patch like I didn’t know. “What’s smoke mean?”

  He gave a small smirk. “That’s my road name, and yeah, I’m the president.”

  “Wow. Impressive,” I remarked, like I had no clue.

  “You have no idea what any of that means, do you?” He chuckled.

  “Of course I do,” I indignantly replied. “I’ve seen that motorcycle show a few times.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Oh, Christ.”

  Raising a brow, I gave him a saucy tip of my head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Laughter colored his words. “Nothing. So why Georgetown? Surely there were better opportunities up by Dallas.”

  That’s where we all came from.

  “Probably, but I needed a change. Didn’t want to be up my family’s ass.” God knew they were overbearing enough from hours away. I sure as hell didn’t feel like living in their backyard where my mom could drop by any time she wanted. Or my brother could meddle in my life. Houston had been perfect until Gordie ruined it.

  “I understand that.”

  “Is that why you didn’t go back up there after you got out of the army?”

  “Pretty much. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but they were forever pressuring me to find a mom for Mattie. I couldn’t do it.”

  Everything he was saying backed up why he was the perfect solution to my problems. He didn’t want a relationship. He didn’t have time for one. He didn’t want to find a new mommy for his daughter.