Avoidance

by Kristen Granata

  “What are you thinking about?” Chase asked, sitting across from me inside the restaurant. The flame from the small tealight candle that danced between us illuminated his face.

  “What I will do with myself once you’re off becoming a superstar.”

  He reached for my hand. “What do you think you’d be interested in doing?”

  “I’m stuck between school and job. I don’t know what I would major in if I went back, though.”

  He thought for a moment. “You really could do anything. What about an automotive school? You know so much already.”

  “What would I do with that once I graduated? Open my own shop?”

  “Maybe. It couldn’t hurt to sit down with someone to see what your possibilities are.”

  I perked up as the waiter set our drinks down on the table. “Thank you.”

  “You are welcome, my lady. Your appetizers should be out shortly.”

  Chase raised his glass, prompting me to raise mine. “To the most beautiful girl in the room no matter where we go. I never imagined I would be spending Valentine’s Day with Merritt Adams. You have such a special soul, and I am so lucky to have you in my life. I love you more than you will ever know.”

  We clinked glasses, and I took a sip of my drink. Then I raised my glass again. “To the one who brought the light back into my life – my golden boy. You will always have my heart. You have been there through my worst and best times. I am the lucky one, to have someone as perfect as you by my side.”

  He squeezed my hand, and reached for the gift bag under his seat.

  Taking out the white tissue paper, I reached into the small bag and pulled out an equally small box. I raised an eyebrow at him.

  He only smiled.

  I flipped open the top of the box. Inside sat a white-gold necklace heart; a sparkling diamond sat where the two rounded tops met. I gasped at its beauty and iridescence. “Chase! This is beautiful.”

  “I had the diamond taken out of your mother’s ring that we found while going through her box last year. I knew you’d never wear the same ring that she wore, but your dad picked it out and I thought it was meaningful.”

  “This is the same diamond?” I raised the necklace to get a closer look. “Wow. I can’t believe you did this.”

  “My mom also gave me my dad’s wedding band before I left. She told me he would want me to have it. I had the metal melted down, and the jeweler made it into that heart for your necklace. So now, you have a piece of both of our fathers with you whenever you wear it.”

  “Why would you destroy your father’s ring? You could have worn it.”

  “I have plenty of my father’s things. I wanted you to have something to remember him by. I know how much he meant to you.”

  I now had something invaluable to remember two of the most important men in my life – my own father, and Chase’s father who saved me from near death. I was stunned.

  “Do you like it?” Chase asked nervously. “I know you don’t wear a lot of jewelry, but… I hope you like this one.”

  My watery eyes raised up to meet his. “Chase, I love it.” I laughed as tears spilled down my cheeks. “Here, I never thought you’d outdo yourself after restoring my car for Christmas.”

  He grinned. “Put it on. Let’s see how it looks.”

  I carefully fastened the clasp behind my neck. “I’m almost too afraid to wear it. It’s irreplaceable.”

  “It looks perfect on you.”

  I swiped my tears quickly, and handed him the gift bag I had waiting under the table. “It’s not nearly as special as what you got me.”

  “It’s special because it’s from you.”

  “I knew you’d say that.”

  He took out the rectangular box from inside the bag. Taking the cover off, he set it down on the table and looked inside. It was a black leather cuff; the silver plate in the middle of the bracelet read, “C & M Forever.”

  “I looked for something you could wear to every show. Even if I’m not there with you, I’ll still be there… in a way. It’s dumb, I guess.”

  His eyes looked glassy as they gazed back at me. “It’s not dumb. Not even close. I love it. I love the inscription.” He held his arm out to me. “Put it on for me.”

  I reached across the table to fasten the cuff onto his wrist. “A leather cuff in true rock star fashion.”

  He held my hand up to his lips for a kiss. “Thank you so much, baby.”

  As we sat there, staring into each other’s eyes and enjoying the moment, I heard a rattling sound nearby. I looked around the dimly lit room, and noticed several couples doing the same thing. The silverware clanked together, and I could see the pink liquid rippling ever so gently inside of my glass. The floor beneath us began to rumble, and when I looked up again at Chase, he was pushing his chair back from the table.

  “Babe…” he warned as he stood, reaching his hand out for me.

  I sat frozen in my chair, my brain a few steps behind my already aware senses. The one thing I did not remember to worry about in my move to California was potentially the most scary – earthquakes.

  Just when everyone in the entire restaurant had risen up out of their chairs, the shaking stopped. We all looked around at each other, searching for a sign that it was safe to resume our dinners.

  “It’s okay,” an older man next to us said. “These tremors happen from time to time. After a while, you just get used to it.” His wife smiled reassuringly.

  “I don’t think I could ever get used to that,” I replied, taking my seat.

  “There was only one the last time I was out here.” Chase sat down, placing his napkin back in his lap. “I completely forgot about it.”

  All of the couples around us looked as if nothing had happened. They went back to eating and talking, while the waiters bustled around the room. An unnerving feeling began to make its way into my stomach. When our food came, I did not feel that hungry anymore. I made it through one of my tacos before calling it quits.

  “Do you like it?” Chase asked, looking down at two of my three remaining tacos.

  “It’s delicious. No wonder this place is so expensive.”

  “Would you stop worrying about money so much?” he said gently. “When you are with me, you don’t have to worry about money. I will take care of it.”

  “I don’t want you to take care of it, though. I want it to be a joint effort. I don’t want to rely on you for everything. I want us to rely on each other.”

  “I get it. I agree – I want us to be a team… but let me treat the love of my life to a few special things, okay?”

  I softened. “Okay.”

  We had our food wrapped to go, and made our way back over to the bar for Chase’s show. He had to help the band set up, and I wanted to secure my seat at the end of the bar.

  “Whoa, mama!” Dave exclaimed when we walked through the door of The Underground.

  “Are you changing before tonight?” Chase asked, trying to sound nonchalant as he noticed several pairs of eyes gawking at my dress.

  “Do you want me to change before tonight?”

  “No. I just hope I don’t forget all the lyrics when I’m staring at you.”

  Dave chuckled. He set down a Malibu Bay Breeze in front of me, and a beer in front of Chase. “Did you guys feel the tremor?”

  “Don’t remind me,” I groaned.

  “It’s totally normal for everyone here. You New Yorkers will get used to it.”

  “I’d be fine if that never happened again.” I took my seat, allowing my mind to run away with all of the what-if scenarios.

  “You don’t have to worry. I’ll be here to protect you if anything should happen. A few shakes and rattles here and there won’t amount to anything anyway.” Chase kissed the top of my head. “I’m going to help the guys set up.”

  I hugged him tightly, wishing he did not have to perform tonight.

  “Are you alright, babe? I promise, everything will be okay. I’m here, and nothing bad
is going to happen.”

  I wrung my hands. “I just feel weirded out by it. I’m sure it will pass.”

  He looked into my eyes. “I love you.”

  “I love you. Thank you for my necklace.” I held it in between my index finger and my thumb.

  “You are very welcome.” He touched his lips to mine tenderly, and then he was gone.

  I sighed, taking a big gulp of my drink.

  Dave poured two shot glasses full of Fireball, taking one in his hand and sliding the other to me. “To all the good guys out there like Chase. May we find them, may we love them, and may they never break our hearts.” He threw the shot back like a natural. “Your turn.”

  I slowly raised the shot into the air between us. “To figuring out what the hell I’m going to do with my new life.” I tilted my head back and let the liquid slosh down into my throat. I coughed a few times. “Oh, God! That burns!”

  He smiled, his cheeks pushing up so much that his eyes almost closed. “It is called Fireball.”

  I took two long swigs of my drink to soothe the burning in my throat. “Okay, Dave. If we’re going to be spending Valentine’s Day night together, I think we need to discuss your broken heart situation.”

  He leaned his elbows onto the bar, squaring his eyes with mine. “Fine, but we will have to discuss your situation then, too.”

  I held my hand out. “Deal.”

  Dave shook my hand firmly. “Let me get these customers settled.” He smiled at each patron, making light conversation as he mixed and poured.

  There was a mixture of singles and couples throughout the busy bar. The singles were mostly packs of girls on the hunt. I noticed Donnie sitting at a small table next to the stage with a woman I presumed to be his wife. She was one of the tall blonde clones, sporting a huge diamond ring on her left hand. Though she was smiling, I wondered if she was happy with her life here.

  Looking around, I did not see Brooke anywhere. I took out my phone to text her while I waited for Dave to finish making his round of drinks. When I unlocked my phone, I had a text from Shelly. It was a selfie of her and Brody in the car, making silly faces. I smiled, but felt a twinge in my heart. I took three more long swigs of my drink, and tapped out a text to Brooke.

  “Okay, so,” Dave began when he returned to my side of the bar. “I’ve got about five minutes before those ladies finish their drinks.”

  “You seem to be a hit with the ladies. I’ll bet you do alright after last call.”

  He scrunched his face. “They’re not really my type.”

  “Which one?”

  “Pretty much all of them.”

  “I meant ladies in general.”

  He looked at me over the top of his glasses. “So did I.”

  “Ah, I see. So who’s the guy that broke your heart? Need me to break his face?”

  He chuckled. “Calm down, Tony Soprano. He lives in Colorado. That’s where I’m originally from.”

  “Is that why you’re not together? Because of the distance?”

  “In a nutshell, yes.”

  “And out of the nutshell?”

  “Out of the nutshell, he keeps putting off moving out here, and I can’t figure out why. He says he wants to, but when I try to make a plan, he beats around the bush. Last month I told him that I couldn’t take the limbo game we were in. He told me we should break up because he doesn’t feel ready to move out here. Honestly, I don’t think he will ever be ready.”

  “It’s a scary decision to make, leaving everything you know behind. But when you think about never seeing the person you love, the decision should become clear.”

  He shrugged. “You moved across the country for your man. People do it all the time. I just wish he would man up and tell me the truth about why he really doesn’t want to come.”

  “Yeah, that’s really frustrating. How long were you together?”

  “Four years. We were friends for a long time before that. It took him a long time to come out to his family. I thought we had made so much progress, but I guess it wasn’t enough.”

  “Maybe he just takes a long time with these kinds of things. It sounds like he might come around after some time.”

  “I wish I had a crystal ball to look into.”

  “You and me both.” I finished off the remainder of my drink, and felt the wonderful warming sensation in my face and legs begin to set in. “Can I have some water? It’s hot in here.”

  He laughed as he filled a tall glass with water from the fountain hose. “You’re cute when you’re drunk.”

  “I am not drunk,” I scoffed.

  “I can fix that.” He began mixing another cocktail for me.

  The alcohol was coursing through my veins after the third drink. I was enjoying Chase’s show, and the conversation with Dave. I had forgotten all about the tremor earlier, as well as the picture of Shelly and Brody. It felt good to allow the wave of alcohol wash over me, and carry my thoughts out to sea.

  “So, you’re telling me that your dad was so distraught over your mom leaving, that he killed himself?” Dave’s eyes were wide. “That’s some Romeo and Juliet shit, right there.”

  “I used to love reading Romeo and Juliet when I was younger. I was fascinated with how you could love someone so much that you were willing to die without him.” I shook my head slowly. “If only I had known that I would actually live through it.”

  Dave handed me another shot. “To asshole mothers, and their bastard children.”

  “I’ll drink to that one.” This one went down easier than the first.

  “Did you ever hear from your mother again?”

  I laughed. “Funny you should ask. She showed up at my apartment last week.” I laughed again, this time finding it harder to stop. “I hadn’t seen her in eight years, and she just knocked on my door like it was the most normal thing in the world.”

  “What did you say to her?”

  “I told her to leave, in a nutshell.”

  “Out of the nutshell?”

  “I screamed in her face, told her that I would never forgive her for what she did, and told her to stay away from me.”

  “Weren’t you the least bit curious as to what she had to say?”

  I shrugged one of my shoulders. “What could she have said that would have made a difference?”

  He whistled, shaking his head. “And you seem so normal. You should be a mental case after everything you went through. I don’t know how you could be so strong. You’re like…” He stopped to think of the words.

  “Xena, the Warrior Princess, as my best friend calls me.” I raised my glass and finished the last of my fourth drink.

  He slapped the bar as he laughed. “Yes! That is perfect.” He turned towards the group of people holding cash in their hands awaiting his service.

  I held my phone up in front of me and took a selfie, with Chase on stage in the background. I sent it to Shelly, and told her that I missed her. Though my cheeks were flushed and my eyes were glassy, I was smiling. The Fireball and rum combination churning in my stomach had loosened me up, and I felt much more relaxed.

  Dave was swamped for a while before he made it back to me. I noticed one couple in particular growing impatient. The bar was small, but it brought in just as many customers as any regular sized bar. Dave needed help.

  “Hey!” The man shouted to Dave, who was out of earshot. “We’ve been waiting for ten minutes!”

  I hopped off my stool and crouched down to get under the bar, popping up on the other side. I did not want Dave to get any complaints from disgruntled customers. I flashed my best smile at the couple. “I’m sorry for the wait. What can I get you?”

  They exchanged confused looks, unsure if they should give me their order. “I’ll have a Blue Moon, and she wants a rum and Coke.”

  “I can do that,” I said to myself. I searched for a clean glass and pulled on the lever for the Blue Moon. I forgot to ask if he wanted bottle or tap, but I hoped for the best. I also forgot to ask what
kind of rum the woman wanted. “What kind of rum would you like?” I shouted over the music.

  She pointed to the bottle with the pirate on it, and I poured until I thought I should stop. I had no idea what I was doing. I prayed the couple would be happy enough with their drinks to turn around and enjoy the music.

  “How much?” The man asked, clutching two twenty-dollar bills in his hand.

  Luckily, Dave had returned. “It’s on the house. I’m sorry for the wait.”

  The man threw a twenty onto the bar before walking away.

  Dave handed the bill to me. “Your first tip!”

  I giggled as he twirled me around, singing along to the song Chase was belting out on stage.

  “Hey, New York!”

  The smile left my face when I saw who was calling me. “Oh, look! It’s Jake the Douchebag!”

  Jake grinned. “You remembered my name. I’m touched.”

  I gave him my signature eye roll. “What do you want?”

  “A Heineken.”

  Dave was already reaching into the cooler for the bottle.

  “You work here now?” Jake asked.

  “No.”

  Dave popped the cap off the bottle and slid it onto the bar. “You should. We would have so much fun.”

  “I don’t know how to bartend.” One of my eyebrows arched. “Is Donnie even hiring?”

  “He always says that he wants to hire someone, but he never does.”

  “This tip is for you,” Jake shouted, placing a folded up bill onto the bar. “Love the dress, by the way.” He winked, and headed back into the crowd.

  I scrunched my face up in disgust. “Do I have to deal with guys like him a lot?”

  “All the time,” Dave said matter-of-factly.

  I unfolded the bill and my mouth dropped open. “It’s a hundred!”

  “The perks of being a female bartender. I’d get double what I make if I had tits like yours.”

  I held the hundred out to Dave. “Here. You have it.”

  He shook his head. “That’s yours. You just made one hundred and twenty dollars in five minutes.”

  I started to laugh. Dave laughed with me, which only made me laugh harder. Before we could stop ourselves, we were doubled over with laughter, and had no idea why.