Avoidance

by Kristen Granata

  Donnie appeared in front of us, an amused expression on his face as he watched us laughing hysterically. “What’s so funny?”

  I wiped my eye, and tried to breathe. “I just got tipped over a hundred dollars, and I didn’t even do anything.”

  “You should hire her,” Dave shouted. “Look at her.” He gestured to my dress.

  “Stop that,” I said, swatting his hand away.

  Donnie raised his eyebrows. “Do you know how to mix?”

  “I have not one single clue.”

  “I’d train her, obviously,” offered Dave.

  “What if I didn’t pay you, and you just worked for the tips you made?”

  I looked to Dave. “What if we pooled our tips, and split them at the end of the night?”

  Dave looked to Donnie. “Deal.”

  Donnie looked to me. “You’re hired. You can start training tomorrow.”

  His wife appeared beside him. “Hi, I’m Rachel. Your boyfriend is doing great up there.”

  “Hi, thanks. He’s great.” I gestured to her empty glass. “What are you drinking?”

  Donnie placed his arm around her. “Strictly water, for the next nine months.”

  “Wow, congratulations!” I exclaimed. “That’s so exciting!”

  “Thanks,” she said, patting her non-existent stomach. “I’m calling it a night. I’ve been so exhausted lately.”

  “Why don’t you finish out the night behind the bar?” Donnie suggested to me. “Have a good night.” With his arm still around his pregnant wife, they left the bar.

  “Good luck with that,” Dave shouted into my ear.

  I giggled. “You don’t want kids?”

  He shook his head. “Nope. Not my scene.”

  “Does your Colorado boyfriend know that?”

  “Ex-boyfriend, and yes.”

  I looked at him expectantly.

  He wrinkled his nose. “What?”

  “Maybe he wants kids, and he doesn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want them.”

  His face fell as he realized what I said. “Do you think? But we never discussed it…”

  I took his phone from the counter behind us, and handed it to him. “Text him. Now.”

  He quickly typed out a text while I watched over his shoulder. “Now, I need another shot.”

  I grimaced. “Fireball again?”

  “Don’t be a wimp.” He poured for us, and we gulped them back.

  When Chase’s set ended, Dave turned to me with a grin. “Want to ring the bell for last call?"

  I nodded excitedly.

  He pointed to a rope hanging from the ceiling. Midway up the rope was a brass bell. “Shake it, sister.”

  I swung the rope back and forth, watching a sea of patrons scramble to the bar to place their last orders for the night. Dave quickly began popping caps off of beer bottles, and exchanging money at lightning speed. If I wasn’t filled with liquor, I would have felt overwhelmed and nervous. Alcohol had put my nerves to sleep for the night.

  Chase waltzed over to me with a grin spread across his sweaty face. “What are you doing back there?”

  Dave put his arm around my shoulders. “She’s our new bartender.”

  “Dave was swamped, so I tried helping him. Donnie said he would hire me.” I watched his face for his reaction.

  His eyebrows lifted. “Is that what you want to do?”

  “I made one-hundred and twenty dollars in five minutes tonight. It’s better than sitting here while you’re on stage.”

  “You’ll take care of her?” he asked Dave, though it was more a statement than a question.

  “Of course,” Dave replied. “She’s pretty tough, though. You don’t have to worry about her.”

  I held up my arm and tried my best to make a muscle. “See, babe? Tough.”

  Chase laughed, and shook his head. “Let’s go, tough girl. I hear the bed calling our names.”

  I hugged Dave. “See you for training tomorrow!”

  He squeezed me back. “I’ll let you know what Colorado says.”

  Chase held on to me as I tried to climb the stairs. Frustrated that my legs weren’t working the way my brain was telling them to, I kicked off my heels. “Why do there have to be so many?”

  “That’s the downfall of living on the top floor. How many drinks did you have tonight?”

  “A few. Dave poured us shots of Fireball. It literally tastes like a ball of fire. Hey, did you know Dave is gay?”

  “No, I did not.”

  “Well, he is. He’s heartbroken over his ex who lives in Colorado. I don’t know how people do long distance relationships.”

  Chase let me ramble while he helped my feet get up each step. “Last step and we’re home.”

  Once inside the apartment, Chase led me to the bedroom. I crawled on top of the bed, and sprawled out on my back.

  “I need to take a shower. Do you need anything?”

  “I’ll be fine once this bed slows down,” I mumbled with my eyes closed.

  I heard him chuckle as he headed for the bathroom. Several minutes later, he reappeared in the bedroom. I had not moved.

  I opened one eye to look at him, and realized he had nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. I clumsily sat up and folded my arms behind my head to enjoy the view.

  He grinned, dropping his towel. My eyes lowered, slowly taking in every inch of protruding muscle down his abdomen, until they settled just a bit lower on something else that was now protruding.

  He took his time making his way on top of me on the bed. I watched as his biceps and triceps took turns bulging as he walked himself across the mattress. Reaching out for him, I slid my fingers through his damp hair.

  His lips brushed against mine ever so lightly. “Are you too tired?”

  “Never for you,” I breathed, running my hands down his back. My eyes begged for him to continue.

  He lifted one hand off the mattress to caress my face, then cradled the back of my neck as he kissed me passionately. His movements were deliberately slow, as he peeled my dress up and over my head. The intensity in his eyes matched his kiss, and I could have stared into them all night.

  We didn’t know it then, but this would be our last night together.

  Chapter Six: Nightmares and Mimosas

  “Help!” I shouted. “Can anybody hear me?”

  Just moments ago, there were over one hundred people on the other side of the wooden door. I listened now, but heard nothing. I pounded on the door as hard as I could.

  “Chase! Are you out there?” No response. Nothing but silence. Tears began to fill up in my eyes, though I tried to remain calm. A sickening, familiar sensation ran throughout my body. I had been stuck once before, and I remembered the feeling all too well.

  My hands were sore from banging so hard. I tried kicking, but it was no use.

  “Please,” I whimpered, resting my head against the door. “Not again.”

  I jolted awake, sitting straight up in bed. The room was dark, except for the sliver of light shining through the door from the window in the living room. I looked beside me, and Chase was fast asleep. I covered my face with my hands, trying to catch my breath. My cheeks felt wet from crying.

  “It was just a dream,” I quietly reminded myself. After a few minutes of deep breathing, my heart rate finally came down. I curled myself around Chase’s broad back, hooking my arm around his stomach.

  Feeling me touch him, he turned around. “What’s wrong?” he asked sleepily.

  I buried my face in his chest. “Nothing. I just want you to hold me.”

  He wrapped his arms around me, and we intertwined our legs. His warm body enveloped me, as I listened to his steady heartbeat. I tried to fall back to sleep; I tried to think of anything but the nightmare. The minutes passed, turning into hours, and I could not shake the short scene from my mind. I watched the sun come up, and finally fell back to sleep just in time for Chase’s alarm to sound. He showered, and kissed me goodbye befo
re he left for a meeting with at the record label.

  I tried to occupy myself by reading and watching movies. When I looked at the clock and realized it was only noon, I decided to take a walk outside, wandering up and down the nearby streets to get familiarized with the area. Being alone in a new city was more of a culture shock than I had prepared for. I knew it would be different, and I expected to miss my friends, but I found myself missing small things: the yappy dog next door to the Brooks’ house; Brody’s pancakes in the morning; the sound of car horns beeping aggressively; and how I craved the taste of New York pizza.

  Towards the end of any vacation growing up, I always felt ready to go home, missing my own bed and familiar surroundings. Being in California was like being on a permanent vacation, unable to land back in my own life of comfort. To add insult to injury, I was anticipating when the next earthquake would be. Since I had felt the tremor, any small vibration, including my phone, tricked me into thinking that it was happening again. The nightmare I had only made me more on edge.

  I walked until it was time to get ready for training at the bar with Dave. I was relieved to have something to do, and I was even more relieved knowing alcohol would be involved.

  “Dude!” Dave exclaimed when I walked in that night. “You’re a genius!”

  “I take it your text to Colorado went well?”

  He grabbed me by my shoulders. “We talked all day! Well, we texted, but… same thing.”

  “What was his response?”

  “Here.” He took out his phone and handed it to me. “I can’t believe I never thought of it before,” Dave continued. “I just wish he would have told me how much having kids meant to him.”

  I scrolled to the end of the text thread. “You broke up?” I shouted. “That’s it?”

  “I know in my heart that I don’t want kids. He knows in his heart that he wants kids. There’s no point to stay together if we both want different things in life.”

  “And you’re okay with that?”

  “When I didn’t know why he was breaking up with me, it was torture. Now, we’ve talked and we have closure.” He looked at me over the top of his black rimmed glasses. “Do you and Chase ever talk about your future?”

  I shook my head. “We’re flying by the seat of our pants right now.” After the amazing night Chase and I had, an unsettling feeling had made a home inside of my stomach. I told myself it was due to the nightmare, and tried to forget about it.

  I spent the next hour training in my crash course behind the bar to prepare for tonight’s shift. For the most part, everything was relatively easy; I learned the computer in less than five minutes, and learned where everything was located within ten. I needed more time to study the names and recipes of drinks – the ones that I had never heard of made me especially nervous. Luckily, Dave would be by my side to help. It would be fun working with him, and I was thankful to feel like I had made a real friend.

  “Can I get a Corona,” a customer asked.

  I flipped the cap off into the garbage, and slid the bottle to him.

  “Can I start a tab?” the man asked.

  “Sure.” I looked to Dave. “Just watch me to make sure I’m doing this right.”

  Dave stood over my shoulder while I tapped the information on the computer screen.

  “You’re a quick learner.” He handed the receipt to me after it printed out, and I shoved it into a glass on the bar.

  I stifled a yawn.

  “Oh, no. You can’t be doing any of that. We just started our shift!”

  “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  He stared off into the distance. “I miss having hot Valentine’s Day sex. I need a new boyfriend.”

  “I’m not tired from the sex.” I let the grin spread across my face while I recalled how mind-blowing it was. “Although, it was pretty damn good.”

  “Stop! You’re making me jealous. Why are you so tired then?”

  “I had a bad dream. It really bothered me. I couldn’t fall back to sleep after that.”

  Four men strolled up to the bar, sitting on the stools directly in front of us. “Can we get a round of tequila?”

  I began lining up shot glasses in front of them. “What are we celebrating?”

  “My baby brother is getting married!” the loud one shouted. He slapped his brother on the back, several times too hard judging by the look on his face.

  “Congratulations!” I poured the tequila over all four glasses, the way Dave had showed me earlier.

  “You have to do one with us!” the loud one shouted.

  I looked at Dave to find him sliding two more glasses my way. “The more you drink, the less annoying he gets,” he whispered.

  I chuckled as I poured, excited to begin drinking. I handed one glass to Dave, and held the other up above my head. “To the groom, and his wife-to-be!”

  The four men raised their shots with ours, threw them back, and slammed the empty glasses onto the bar. “Another!” they cheered.

  I tried to hide my contorted facial expression as I choked the liquid down. “Are we doing another with them?”

  Dave nodded. “You can just Coyote Ugly it if you don’t like the shot choice.”

  I raised my eyebrow. “You want me to dance on top of the bar?”

  “No!” He slapped his face with his palm. “It’s in the movie. The trick is to make them think you’re taking the shot. You pour it into your mouth, then make like you’re take a swig from a beer bottle – but you spit it out into the bottle, and nobody notices.”

  “That’s disgusting, yet ingenious.”

  “Watch me.”

  I handed the men their shots, and watched as Dave backwashed his beer with tequila. It was flawlessly executed.

  “Turn around when you do it,” Dave warned. “It can get messy the first few times you try it.”

  I took the shot, but when I tried to spit it back out into the beer bottle, it sprayed all over the place like a busted garden hose. I ended up swallowing half of the tequila, and wearing the other half of it.

  Dave laughed as he handed me a clean rag. “Maybe you shouldn’t do that again until you practice. I guess it’s safe to say you’re not a spitter.”

  I tossed the rag at him. “My man has no complaints!”

  “I’ll bet he doesn’t!” He twirled the rag and slapped my ass with it before turning back to the customers.

  Dave and I were like a well-oiled machine, slinging drinks and making tips. I broke a sweat when the ten o’clock rush came in. We had taken two more shots, one with a birthday boy, and the other with a bachelorette. I was definitely feeling it more and more as the night went on, but the people in the bar were double as drunk, so no one noticed.

  “I love this song!” Dave yelled. He pumped his fist in the air as he danced over to me. He took my hand, and twirled me around.

  “Whoa,” I said, steadying myself as I gripped the bar. “No more twirls, or I’m going to hurl.”

  He threw his head back as he laughed. “Are you drunk, New York? We’ve got to work on your tolerance!”

  “I feel great. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I did feel great. My body felt loose and warm. It was then that I realized: my mind was defenseless when I was sober. Any and all thoughts could enter whenever they pleased, crowding my headspace and making me anxious. Alcohol acted like a bouncer, dragging them out and showing them the door. It protected me. All I had to do was drink until security showed up.

  After I rang the bell for last call, Chase walked into the bar. He smiled when his eyes settled on me.

  “That boy always looks like he stepped right off the Abercrombie billboard,” Dave swooned.

  I attempted to walk towards him, but my feet felt like they had been replaced with lead balls. As I got closer, one foot tripped over the other, and my ankle wobbled in my wedges. Chase caught me before I fell any further.

  “First day with the new feet?” he chuckled.

  I rolled my eyes
. “Dumb shoes. How was your day?”

  “It was good. Long, but good. How was yours?”

  “Same.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his lips closer. “Are you heading up now?”

  “I’m going to jump in the shower. I’ll meet you up there when you’re done.”

  Dave showed me how to close out the cash register, and we cleaned up the glasses and beer bottles that sat empty atop the bar.

  “Here you are,” Dave said, handing me a stack of cash. “Two hundred and sixty dollars.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “Two hundred?”

  “Wait until the weekend.”

  “Night, Colorado.”

  “Night, New York.”

  I groaned as I looked up at the stairs before me. “There has got to be a better way,” I muttered. I slipped out of my shoes, and held onto the railing with both hands.

  When I finally made it into the bedroom, Chase was already passed out on top of the covers. I clumsily crawled into bed, wrapping myself around him. Within seconds, I was passed out, too.

  The next day, Chase was gone before I woke up again. I had another nightmare, and adding insult to injury, I was majorly hungover. Needless to say, I did not sleep well. With a pounding headache and puffy eyes, I popped two aspirin, and chugged a water bottle. I was not looking forward to another day left to my own devices.

  My phone beeped when a text from Brooke came in. She told me to meet her and her friends for lunch, and I jumped at the chance. I needed to keep myself busy, and my mind occupied. I longed for that blissful calm feeling from the alcohol the night before, and counted the hours until I had to be at work.

  “Looks like someone had a rough night,” Brooke exclaimed as I approached her.

  I quickly put my sunglasses back on. “Do I look that bad?”

  “You just look tired. A little concealer and nobody will be able to notice.” Brooke dug into her purse and pulled out her makeup bag.

  I peered inside at what looked like an entire makeup warehouse. “You’re like Mary Poppins with that bag. Do you have a sandwich in there? I’m starving.”

  Brooke giggled. “Aha! Here is my magic under eye eraser.”

  I stood still while she smeared concealer underneath my puffy eyes.