Some Kind of Hell

by London Casey

  He entered me with an explosion of pressure and pleasure making me out.

  The large bathroom took my voice and threw back a sexy echo.

  All of our breaths and noises became echoes. The naughtiness was intense.

  We were in a busy restaurant… with Jared and Chloe just below us.

  So hot.

  So passionate.

  Logan kissed me, his tongue savoring my mouth as he thrust at me.

  The sex was incredible. I was on my toes on my right foot, rocking my body at him, wanting more speed, more Logan, more everything. He sped up, his hands cupping my ass tighter, pulling at me. We were connected in so many ways.

  Logan stared at me.

  Both our mouths were open, breathing heavily.

  We focused on nothing but the scene around us. We tasted each other’s breaths, felt the pleasure from each other’s bodies. I felt Logan thickening, preparing to finish.

  I whispered to him, “Yes…” and a second later he started to come. My body climaxed with him, my throbbing center pulling at him, accepting it all.

  Our mouths came back together in another hot kiss as Logan gently fucked me even after we were done. He then broke the kiss and growled.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Fuck LA,” he said. “I don’t want to…”

  “Go be famous,” I said. “I’ll be waiting.”

  Logan looked down at my nude lower half. “Just like this?”

  “Oh, I’ll be waiting… just like this…”

  We laughed and dressed, casually looking at each other, trying to touch each other with each second that passed, knowing an uncomfortable goodbye was inevitable. I turned the light off in the bathroom as we left and I told Logan to go down the stairs first, just in case.

  “Is everything okay, sir?” I heard Dale, my manager, ask Logan.

  I froze. If Dale caught me upstairs or had any idea of what I had just done with Logan, I’d be out of a job. Not that I worked in a lucrative field, but the job was nice and I made good money. In fact, tonight was the worst night, thanks to the asshole Jared.

  “I, uh, I’m looking for the bathrooms,” Logan said. “Someone said back here…”

  “Oh, no, the upstairs is for private,” Dale said.

  He laughed, his usual fake laugh.

  I hated Dale.

  “Let me show you,” Dale said.

  “Sure, thanks,” Logan said.

  I gave it a minute and then peeked around the corner. I made it down the steps and walked out to the front of the restaurant, looking for Logan. I knew I was coming to the end of my break, but I needed to see Logan again. One last time. To actually say goodbye and wish him and the band luck in LA. I darted right and tried to stay out of the sight of the crowd out front. It looked bad if the employees were out front - or at least that’s what Dale would tell me if he caught me - so I kept going. Where the building ended, I turned to a small alley and saw Logan standing there.

  Hands in his pockets.

  Smug look on his face.

  His sexy eyes controlling me.

  “Logan,” I said and ran to him.

  “That was fun,” he said.

  “And close,” I said. “That was my manager you talked to.”

  “Looks like an idiot,” Logan said.

  “He is,” I said, “but he’s still my manager.”

  Logan paused for a second, before saying the obvious. “I have to go. Cab is waiting for me right now. The guys are in LA…”

  “Go,” I said. “Have fun.”

  Logan hugged me, held me. I didn’t want him to go. I thought about begging him to stay for a second, but I didn’t because part of me knew he’d probably stay. And if he really cared that much about me, then he deserved to chase his dream.

  When we kissed, I finally felt it.

  That connection. That spark.

  I wanted to cry as Logan walked away but I couldn’t.

  He looked so cool and his ass looked so good.

  By the time I had said goodbye to Logan, Jared and Chloe were boxing up their leftovers and paying their bill. And in typical Jared fashion, he had tipped over fifty percent, just to show he had the money to do that.

  The rest of night went by in a blur.

  13

  In the days since, Maggie became the one with the obsession with calendars. She lasted one day before she appeared in my room and looked around. When I asked her what she wanted, she tried to whisper that she wanted a calendar for her room. To hang up. To look at.

  I, of course, gave her the kitten one, but it didn’t stop there.

  Granted, it had been four days since I saw Logan, so it didn’t surprise me as much when I saw the large desk calendar on the dining room table. Maggie sat there nursing a glass of orange juice, staring at the daily newspaper.

  “You’re not reading that,” I said.

  “Nope.”

  “Did you buy it?”

  “Not really.”

  “Not really?”

  “It was in the stairwell.”

  “That’s someone’s paper,” I said.

  “Good. Then they’ll understand how to miss something.”

  I laughed and Maggie couldn’t keep a straight face either. She folded the newspaper and threw it at me. I sat down across from her and touched the large calendar.

  “Work,” she said. “I stole it.”

  “I see that,” I said. “Did you hear from Tatum?”

  “It’s too early,” Maggie said. “They were probably recording all night.”

  “Just recording,” I said and took Maggie’s hand.

  “I’m not worried about that. I just wish he was here. Or I was there.”

  “I can’t believe they wanted them to record a song out there. I thought they were doing the demo here.”

  “That’s what they thought too…”

  I talked to Logan yesterday and he explained it to me. He was so excited, it made me smile the entire time he talked. It seriously made me feel guilty I wasn’t there to share those moments.

  The band had met with Jason and after talking for a little while, they ended up at Jason’s house, playing some music. Logan and the guys broke out into the new acoustic song and according to Logan he saw Jason’s eyes light on fire. Jason called in a favor and told the guys that they should cancel their plane tickets home. Jason wanted the acoustic song recorded along with one of the popular DownCrash songs. He wanted a quick recording and then they guys could come back and take their time recording the full demo. The best part was that it was all on Jason’s dime. He believed in the band enough to pay for all the costs. To fly them. To feed them. To get them in a studio.

  Logan told me the only catch was that Jason wanted the full demo in a few months. He wanted to shop the two song tape around with some producers and labels but the real demo would be the one that did it.

  I barely got a word in with Logan and that was quite okay. My life was nothing compared to his right then. Right before we hung up there was a slight pause like something else was going to be said. I understood what I wanted to be said, but also understood why Logan didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to add to the emotions of everything.

  “Maggie, they’ll be home in a few days,” I said.

  “Then they’ll be practicing and playing like crazy.”

  “That’s good.”

  “I haven’t heard from Scarlett either. I think she went to visit a friend or something, I don’t know. I might go into work today, kill some time.”

  “It’s the weekend. Relax a little.”

  Maggie looked at me and we both knew that was impossible. Those guys in DownCrash were sexy and addicting.

  Dale called me an hour later and begged me to take a shift that night. It would have made me happy to tell him no and picture him panicking on how to fill the shift but I took the work. I needed it. The money. The ability to kill time.

  I worked that night, which turned out to be super busy. When I
came home at two in the morning, I found Maggie on the couch, clutching her cell phone, the TV on. I turned the TV off, covered her up, and put her cell phone on the floor next to her. I crashed hard that night and as much as I wanted to dream of Logan, I didn’t.

  It was a nightmare.

  I stand in front of the mirror and touch my stomach. It’s big. Like… killer big. My hair longer, with curls at the ends. Thick curls. It doesn’t make sense at all. I’m in a bedroom, but it’s not mine. I feel the roundness and hardness of my stomach and that’s not mine either.

  I’m not pregnant… but I am…

  The door opens with a little creak.

  I turn and expect to see Logan.

  I have no idea how far in the future I am, but it doesn’t seem so bad. I mean, if Logan’s here, then he came back from LA. And if I’m in a hew house, DownCrash must have made money.

  Oh, it’s almost… exciting…

  “There you are.”

  I stare him, wanting to cry.

  It’s not Logan.

  It’s Jared.

  Standing there. Looking at me. His hands and jeans are filthy from working. He has black marks on his face and I’m not even sure if the black marks make sense for what he does for a living… but, hey, it’s a dream. A nightmare.

  Jared steps at me and I step back. My knees suddenly hurt, throb, and I reach down to touch them only to be reminded of the large stomach I have right then.

  My large, pregnant stomach.

  My eyes look down then back up. Now Jared is an inch from me.

  “Oh, Chloe, we’re so happy…”

  Chloe?

  What…?

  I woke up right after that. And I’m glad I did. It was close to nine in the morning, far too early to be awake after the night of work I had, but I seriously feared going back to sleep and dreaming about that again. What the hell was that dream all about? Someone once told me that dreams were all the hidden thoughts and wishes we had. That our brains store everything, no matter how hard we try to forget.

  So what did that mean?

  I secretly wanted to be Chloe?

  Right then was the perfect moment to pull the covers over my head and chase the thoughts away. Instead, I grabbed my phone and saw a message from Logan waiting.

  I hadn’t heard it go off.

  It was from a few hours ago, the middle of the night.

  A picture.

  I opened it and it was a picture of LA from a window high in the air. The city skyline lit up like a billion Christmas lights thrown on top of a city. A simple picture, but definitely cool.

  I wrote to Logan as fast as I could.

  You’re probably sleeping but I miss you. That picture was awesome. I hope you guys are having fun. Come home soon, Maggie’s going to go crazy. lol (me too…)

  Send.

  I climbed out of bed and wandered out of my room feeling like a zombie. My brain was scrambled, stuck in that stupid dream. My body was sore from work and it wanted more sleep.

  I found Maggie on the couch, still sleeping. She faced the back of the couch and looked cuddled and comfortable. I quietly checked her phone and saw a message from Tatum waited. I would never read her texts but I smiled, knowing she’d at least be happy for a minute or two when she woke up.

  I set everything up for coffee and then stumbled back to my room. I looked at the bed once then went to my desk. I sat and touched a pen and a notebook. An idea came to me. I opened the notebook and sighed.

  How long had it been?

  A long time.

  Long before Jared and I moved in together, right?

  I used to write in a notebook everyday. Not really a diary but more my thoughts. Just to do for fun. After my father left us and my mother teetered on some kind of personal insanity, I needed an outlet. There were drugs and drinking, but I liked writing better.

  Go figure.

  I clicked my pen a few times and wondered what to write about. There were two things burning in my mind… the dream (me, pregnant as Chloe) and the picture Logan sent me.

  I smiled and wrote.

  They stand against the backdrop of lights. They’re not the flashbulbs of the media or fans buzzing for the next glimpse at the hope and power of music, but what they are is for the city to take. The lights are endless when you think of it this way… one city to another… chasing the horizon for a few more hours to play, to write, to exist.

  He touches the glass and it leaves a handprint. The handprint won’t be there forever but in that moment, it’s the tattoo of the night. The outline, the making of life. Those who get it, well, they get it.

  I stopped writing and laughed a little.

  Probably stupid and riddled with poetic clichés, but whatever, I wasn’t being paid for it.

  I got my phone and debated on my next move. I took a picture of the writing and sent it to Logan. I wanted to show him what I wrote and maybe give him a little more motivation to keep playing and to hurry home.

  Thinking of Logan coming home made my body tingle.

  I wanted him so bad.

  For the next few days I continued to send Logan some of the things that came to my mind. For some reason writing felt good and I couldn’t wait for it. He would always text me something poetic back, like we were talking on a different level and in a different language. And finally, after more than a week in LA, he sent me a simple text and my world felt complete.

  Coming home.

  14

  I wanted to go to the airport and jump Logan the second he came back. Maggie had the same idea too. But after talking to Logan and Tatum, we were told to hang tight at the apartment and wait. DownCrash wasn’t just landing to be home, they were landing, going to the studio to look around, meeting the guy who would be recording their demo, and then if that wasn’t cool enough, they were going to be ushered to a local radio station for a live interview.

  I was in complete shock as Logan described his day to me. It was like they left as some popular college band and were now coming back as real rockstars. Not that I doubted them as rockstars ever, but it was getting more and more intense by the second.

  “I miss you so much,” Logan said against the backdrop of noise at the airport.

  The scuffling of feet, a million voices together at once, the booming voice over the intercom at the airport.

  “I miss you too,” I said. “I want to touch you.”

  “Where?” he asked with that flirty tone that warmed me over.

  “When you’re done with the radio thing, can we meet at the garage? Or at my place?”

  “Well… no,” Logan said.

  “No?”

  “Listen, I have to kind of whisper this,” Logan said. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone, not even you. But I’m sure Tatum opened his big, lip piercing mouth. And I know Tripp can’t keep his mouth shut unless it’s attached to Scarlett’s mouth.”

  “What is it? Did you guys get signed or something?”

  “No, not quite that,” Logan said. “I did get to meet Rockett Royce. Fucking amazing. I touched his hand… the hand that touched Chasing Cross’s hands, along with a lot of other famous musicians.”

  “Oh, well you’ll get signed soon enough,” I said.

  My heart was in a battle with itself. I wanted Logan there with me. I wanted to be greedy and not share him with anyone else in the world. Maybe not forever, but would a night or two… or a month… be so bad?

  “On the radio today,” Logan said, “we’re going to announce a last minute show.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  “Jason booked us at Rogee’s,” Logan said.

  “Roggee’s… like the big dance club?”

  “Yeah. But we’re going to do a show.”

  I pictured Rogee’s. It would be an insane show to have there. The main floor had a stage, but it was usually for DJ’s. I don’t think I could ever remember a band playing there. If what Logan said was true then…

  “It’ll be our biggest show to date,”
Logan said. “I mean, crowd wise, if the people show up.”

  “I don’t get it…”

  Logan laughed. “Jason wants to see how loyal the DownCrash fans really are. And he wants to see if people will react to a band they don’t know. So on the radio we’re going to talk about what we’re doing, recording, signing with management, that kind of thing. Then they’re going to play the two songs we recorded with Jason out in LA. When that’s done, we’re going to announce the free show. Whoever shows up first, gets in. That’s it.”

  “Oh, fuck,” I whispered and then covered my mouth with my hand.

  It was going to be huge.

  Logan laughed again. “You like?”

  “I love it,” I said. “I don’t get to see you then?”

  “Not until after the show,” Logan said. “But I swear I’ll make it worth your while.”

  “I know you will. I miss you though, so bad. Like I’ve never missed anything in my life.”

  “Trust me, Annie, I’m right there with you,” Logan said. “No matter what I did, I thought of you. And then when you started writing to me… where the hell did that come from?”

  I wanted to talk more to Logan, to tell him where the writing came from, but the background noise was too much. It wouldn’t have the same meaning if I tried talking to him on the phone like that rather than face to face. To tell him how he sparked my love of life, my love of writing again, my love of just feeling okay with the world. And then… maybe my love for him.

  But that was something I wasn’t sure he could handle.

  We were silent for a few seconds until Logan said, “My plane is boarding.”

  “I… I… can’t wait to see you,” I said.

  I had almost slipped something there.

  I closed my eyes and winced.

  “Me too, Annie,” Logan said. “Me too.”

  I left my room and burst into Maggie’s room. She still had her cell phone in her hand and she looked at me with guilty eyes.

  “You know,” I said.

  Maggie threw her phone to her bed. “Know what?”

  “I know you know. Logan told me.”

  “Told you what?”