by M. Sembera
Feeling like he was still defending her, I snapped, "Fine!" and went back to my desk.
~
I was so angry by the time we made it home, I had a headache. Heading straight for the bathroom, I grabbed the aspirin and shook two in my hand before walking to the kitchen. Pulling leftovers out for dinner, I took my aspirin.
Jackson stepped into the kitchen, teasing, "I'm starting to see what you meant by hormonal issues," with a laugh.
Stopping in the middle of heating up our chicken and dumplings, I covered my face with my hands and started to cry.
Jackson instantly wrapped his arms around me, apologizing, "Baby, I was kidding. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."
Turning into his chest, I admitted, "I know."
Kissing the side of my head, he asked, "Ren, what is going on with you?"
Sliding my arms around his waist, I held on tight, saying, "Nothing."
I could feel Jackson sigh before he took my face in his hands and asked, "How are we supposed to work through things if you don't tell me what's wrong?"
Looking up at him, I said, "I'm allowed to have a bad day."
Nodding, Jacks replied, "You are, but I feel like there's more to it."
"Why does everybody think I need to talk about things?" I griped before saying, "Amila, you, now even..."
I stopped, realizing I almost said Henley before changing direction.
Pulling away from him, I shared, "I have been dealing with everything my life is made up of for a long time now. I know what's happened to me and that's enough. I don't have to share every detail with y'all to be alright."
Nodding with a half-hearted smile, Jackson dropped the subject.
~
Ready for bed, I pulled the sheets back before Jackson flopped down in front of me and pulled me onto the bed with him.
"I thought of something for us to talk about," he shared with a smile.
Having no idea our quiet evening was a result of him trying to think of things to talk to me about that wouldn't upset me, I scooted away from him.
Pulling me against him, Jackson said, "Okay now, I want you to keep an open mind."
Wondering what the heck it could be, I replied, "Just say what you have to say."
Appearing excited, he shared, "Before, when I mentioned us moving into our own home, you didn't seem to like the idea, and I know you're hesitant but I want it to be a gift and a surprise for you. I found a builder today and it won't be like shopping around for houses. It will be our very own home. Built the way we want just for us."
Unable to process what he was saying, I asked, "You're serious?"
Nodding as his smile widened, Jacks explained, "It takes a while to have a house built so you have time to warm up to the idea of moving. Also, I'll just keep the lease on my apartment going as storage for my stuff since I guess there isn't room for it here and then we don't have to move it twice."
"We're moving?" was all I could say, wondering how he could make this kind of decision without me.
Placing a light kiss against my lips, he nodded, sliding his hand around my hip.
My focus changed as I informed, "I started."
Kissing down my neck, Jacks asked, "Started what?"
Moving my head to block him from advancing, I replied, "Sex is off the table for the rest of the week."
Appearing happier about it than he should, Jacks blurted, "Oh, okay."
Making a face, I said, "You're happy I'm on my period?"
"Hell no, it sucks but now I know why you were so upset today," he answered.
"What?"
Giving me a compassionate smile, he assured, "It's okay, you don't have to be upset. We can start over as soon as you're done."
"What?"
With a slight laugh, Jacks said, "Come here." After rolling us over and pulling me against his chest, he shared, "I didn't expect you to get pregnant that quick and besides, in case you hadn't noticed, I really like trying."
Amazed at his logic, I knew if I was a normal person, Jackson would be right and this moment would have solved everything. Teary eyed, I leaned up and kissed him goodnight.
16
In an Instant
Feeling a sense of calm after my call to Ignacio last week, there was no contact from Henley on my end and no information on his. Deciding he gave up and left town, I was excited Sophia and Ailin were finally returning today. Initially relieved, when they decided to stay gone an extra week, I missed her and now that Henley no longer seemed to be a threat, everything could go back to the way it was. Sophia said they would call when they made it into town and dropped their luggage at Ailin's apartment, so it would be later in the day when they stopped by. Thinking I should get out of bed and accomplish something, for some reason, I really did not feel like doing anything.
Jackson walked into the bedroom with an interested expression across his face.
"It's almost one," he said, sitting next to me on the bed.
Smiling, I scooted closer, saying, "I know, I was just enjoying laying in bed."
"Are you feeling alright," he asked.
With a slight laugh, I replied, "I feel fine. I'm just relaxing."
"Are you sure?" he questioned, leaning down to kiss me.
Laughing, I asked, "Are you feeling alright?"
Placing a kiss on my lips, he reached his hand down to my stomach before saying, "Just wondering if maybe there's a little someone in there."
Jackson made me feel good and bad all at the same time. Sliding over, I sat up. Leaning against my head board, I took his hand.
"Jacks, I don't want you to get your hopes up and then be disappointed," I shared.
He gave me a quick kiss, saying, "First of all, you could never disappoint me and second, I know you said it would be difficult. I also know it might not happen but Ren, if I didn't hope for things that were difficult and might not happen, I wouldn't have hung around all this time waiting to propose."
A hum of happiness radiated through me as I pulled him in for a kiss.
Jackson and I were a split second from giving getting pregnant a good try when we heard the door bell and someone banging on my front door. Both of us jumped out of bed and got dressed.
"I bet that's Sophia," I said.
"So much for calling first," he laughed, leaving the bedroom to get the door.
Pulling my hair into a loose knot, I heard Jackson say, "Hey, where's Ailin?"
When I stepped into the living room, Sophia stormed right passed him, saying, "In the car."
She had an expression that I had never seen on her face before and I could tell she had been crying.
"What's wrong?" I asked, reaching out to hug her.
Taking a step back, Sophia asked, "Who is Henley?"
I couldn't answer. Hearing his name come out of her mouth was the worst moment of my life.
"He was nobody when we saw him in Atlanta, is he nobody here too?" she questioned in a hoarse tone.
Glancing at Jackson from the corner of my eye, I noticed him look at me and scowl.
"Damn it, say something," she shouted before Jackson fussed, "Sophia!"
Turning her focus to Jacks, she snapped, "You know too, don't you."
Jackson's voice was calm as he replied, "Now wait a minute, Sophia."
"No!" she shouted before yelling, "Does dad know?"
Nodding, I barely choked out, "Yes, he knows."
Sophia nodded back and questioned, "Is that why he lives so far away? Because he can only stand to be around me once a year?"
Shaking my head, I swore, "No, it's not like that."
Sophia turned to leave.
"Wait!" I shouted, unable to find the right words but not wanting her to leave.
In a flash, she was in my face screaming, "For you to lie to me some more? You've been lying to me my whole life. I don't want to hear anything you have to say! Ever!"
As my heart pounded in my chest, Sophia left. My greatest fear had come true.
I stood in my living room trying to think. My chest hurt and I wanted to cry but I was too stunned for a single tear to fall. Just like everything else that had happened in my life, in an instant everything fell apart.
"Ren," Jackson said.
Without looking at him, I replied, "Yea?"
"You saw him in Atlanta?" he asked.
Slowly nodding, I answered, "I didn't know that's where he moved. He saw Sophia when we went shopping."
"You should have told me," he said.
Shrugging, I replied, "I thought it would be okay but then he came here."
His tone strengthened as he asked, "You knew he was here?"
Nodding, I started to feel dizzy.
"Why didn't you say anything?" he questioned.
In a daze, I confessed, "I called Hert but he didn't care and Ignacio said he would keep an eye on things."
Stepping in front of me, Jackson asked, "You called The Brothers' but you couldn't tell me?"
Seeing the look on his face, I realized what I just shared, explaining, "No, I just talked to Ignacio."
"You were at The Office," he said to himself before fussing, "I understand you going to Hert but Ignacio? He's a..." Cutting him off, I snapped, "Don't."
Visibly angry, he yelled, "Don't what? Say that he's a low life criminal? It's the truth."
"Don't say another word against him!" I stated.
"What the hell is wrong with you? You lie and you're hiding things from me. You go to someone like him? And you don't tell me? You're supposed to be my wife."
It took about two seconds after the words left his mouth before I lost it.
Taking a deep breath, I narrowed my eyes at Jackson, letting everything that had bothered me spill out of my mouth.
"Your wife? Like I belong to you? I have been fighting myself to make you happy this whole time. You come in here and invade my life. You're making me move out of my house. You want to change everything that I set up for myself. I was fine all by myself then you lured me in with all these promises and it turns out you're no different."
Jackson took a step back and shared, "I meant, you're my wife just like I'm your husband. We're supposed to be partners, in this together. I'm proud to say I'm yours but you don't feel that way about me. I wasn't trying to invade your life and even if I was, its clear there isn't any room for me in it."
Instantly remorseful, I replied, "I didn't mean..."
Shaking his head at me with a wounded expression, Jackson said, "Yea you did, at least now you're being honest with me."
"No, I..." I started before he asked, "What does your driver's license say? Why am I still living out of a suitcase in your spare bedroom?"
Glancing around the room, all I could say was, "I'm sorry."
Jackson squeezed his eyes shut before pulling me against him.
Holding me tight, he kissed me before saying, "This isn't...I don't know what to do."
"Yes you do," I whispered, letting my arms fall to my sides.
Anguish filled his eyes as he slid his hands into my hair and kissed me again.
Slowly letting go, Jackson started to say something then turned and walked to the door. I watched him wrap his hand around the door knob and then stop. Wishing I knew what he was thinking, I decided it was best that I didn't when he flung the front door open. Slamming it behind himself so hard, the walls shook causing our Ren&Jacks to slide down the wall onto the floor.
17
Recognizing the Similarity
Standing in my house all by myself, there was a part of me that was satisfied. After years of wondering and waiting, the 'what if's' had finally caught up to me. Exhaling slowly as I came to terms with what my life was going to be like, I heard the phone ring.
Looking at the caller ID, I groaned. I wasn't going to answer it at first. The last thing I needed was for Emerson to tell me I screwed up.
Deciding to get it over with, I picked up the phone and said, "Look, I know what you're going to say," when Amila's voice assured, "I don't think so."
Surprised it was her I said, "Amila, Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, please forgive me."
"Ren, Charlotte's gone. She took my car and we don't know where she is," she informed.
I paused for a moment before saying, "I'm on my way."
"Thank you."
"See you in a little bit," I assured before hanging up the phone.
Running to my room to grab my shoes, I decided I might be able to salvage at least one relationship.
~
Amila was a nervous wreck as she paced the living room. Emerson was on the phone calling everyone he could think of.
"Why don't y'all just call the police?" I asked.
Frowning at me, Amila said, "She's been to juvenile before, we want to help her, not have her arrested."
"Okay," I said, actively working at not rolling my eyes.
"Did you ever run away from home?" Amila asked me directly.
Shaking my head, I replied, "The only place I ever went was here except for the time I stayed at Hert's apartment." Stopping for a moment to think, I asked, "Is she seeing anyone?"
"I don't know Ren, she's on her phone all the time but..." she answered before I asked, "She has a cellphone?"
Amila nodded as I questioned, "Does it have the tracker thingy? You know if it's lost or stolen?"
Emerson blurted, "Yes!" as if I had discovered a miracle.
He ran up the stairs as Amila grabbed hold of me, hugging me tight.
Emerson swiftly made his way down the stairs, holding a piece of paper. When Amila asked if he found her, he said he had an address.
"It shouldn't be too hard to find. Five sixty five Lemerick Drive, it's on the east side of town," Emerson shared.
After taking a second for it to register, I turned to Amila and offered, "Why don't I ride with Em. We'll bring her back, okay."
She appreciated, "Thank you Ren," as I turned to Em, saying, "Let's go."
Emerson and I quickly headed through the kitchen and out of the back door.
~
A block from our destination, I turned to Emerson. After spending the entire drive trying to figure out how to tell him I knew where we were going, I couldn't wait any longer.
"Em, will you promise not to freak out if I tell you something?" I asked.
"What is it Ren?" he questioned.
"The address is Auggie's," I quickly shared.
Slamming on the breaks, Emerson blurted, "What?"
"Now don't overreact. We don't know what's going on?" I tried, in an effort to convince both of us.
Appearing furious, he snapped, "There is only one reason Auggie would have her there. He is a grown man, she's seventeen."
Shaking my head, I thought, 'if Emerson doesn't kill him, I'm going to'.
As we pulled up to the house, sure enough, Amila's car was parked in the driveway. Without shifting his car all the way into park before he opened his door and started to get out, Emerson quickly leaned over and slammed it into gear. Taking off towards the house, Emerson looked ready to commit murder. I ran to the door, catching up with Emerson as he banged on the door with the side of his fist. He looked down at me when there was no response. Shaking my head, I took a few steps back before he kicked Auggie's front door open.
Rushing in first, Emerson stopped dead in his tracks. Almost running into him, I stepped around in front of him before I stopped too.
Unable to believe who was standing there, naked, holding a sheet around his waist, I snapped, "William!"
Emerson's voice boomed from behind me, "What the hell are you doing with my daughter?"
Appearing frightened and a little confused, William started to take deep breaths, saying, "Your daughter?"
Quickly turning to Emerson, I said, "Okay now, this could be worse," before asking William, "Where's Charlotte?"
William just stared at me, looking like he was going to cry.
Walking into the hallway, I pushed open the door on the right to see Charlotte sitti
ng on the bed wearing a thin camisole with a comforter pulled around her.
When I saw the smirk on her face, all I could do to keep myself from dragging her out by her hair was to order, "Get dressed and get out here."
I made it back to the living room just in time to step in front of Emerson as he was closing in on William and share, "There are two people here Em," as I pushed him back towards the door.
"She's my daughter," Em stressed, appearing unsure of how to handle the moment.
In a quiet voice, William shared, "I really care about her, I don't understand."
Giving him a stupid look, I informed, "William, she's seventeen."
Charlotte walked past us, smirking as she looked at William and fluffed, "Oops."
I noticed William place his free hand against the center of his chest as he balled it into a fist and gasped for air.
Gritting my teeth, I whipped around demanding, "Get her the hell outta here!"
I heard Emerson tell Charlotte, "Come on," as I grabbed an inhaler off of the coffee table and tried to soothe, "It's okay, just calm down."
With tears in his eyes, William wheezed as he whispered, "Am I going to jail?" before puffing his inhaler.
Shaking my head, I said, "I doubt it but you do understand that you can't see her anymore, right?"
He stood there silent, staring at me.
"William, I'm serious," I stated before warning, "You don't want to ruin your life over some stupid ass girl."
"You sound like Auggie," he mumbled.
I had no choice but to admit, "Well maybe, he's not wrong all the time."
His breathing started to even out as he asked, "Is she going to be okay?"
Clearing my throat, I said, "I don't know."
"She told me about Mrs. Roberts wanting you to talk to her," he shared before saying, "She's worth helping."
Closing my eyes and shaking my head, I suggested, "Get yourself together, William. She's not the right girl for you."
Appearing sad, he nodded as I turned to leave.
After moving the broken front door out of my way to leave, my head was throbbing with furry. Emerson was sitting in his car with Charlotte in the passenger seat. Making my way directly to his car, I glared at her.
