No Direction Home (Sweet Home Colorado)

by Jude Willhoff

  Now it was Grace’s turn to comfort Seth, but why hadn't he told her the whole story? She gently cradled his hand. “What about your parents? How can a family disown its flesh and blood? I don’t understand. No matter what I did as a kid growing up, Nana would never disown me."

  He grinned. “Nana is a special lady—she has a heart of gold. My family is cut from a different cloth. They go by the philosophy ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’ and Grandpa set the rules. I can remember a lot of whippings I received because I had a mind of my own.” He shrugged. “But it worked out for the best. I don’t want my child raised that way. I’ll discipline her when it’s needed, but I won’t run her life.”

  “Jamie is such a sweet child. She’s easy to love.” Grace wished once again she had a child like Jamie.

  “Thanks, but she has a mind of her own and does need discipline from time to time.” Seth's expression softened when he spoke of his daughter.

  “Of course, every child does.” Grace frowned. “When I was younger I always wanted to have children, but when Lee and I were married there wasn’t time.”

  “You can still have children. You’re not old.” He laughed. “You talk like you’re old as the hills.”

  She smiled back at him. “Some days I feel really old. When I overdo it, I pay the price with pain. And the fact I still might end up in a wheelchair tends to make me think otherwise.”

  “You shouldn’t, I know a lady back home who has always been in a wheelchair and she manages her family of seven boys just fine. That’s a cop-out.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. I wouldn’t want to hook up with anyone with my problems. It wouldn’t be fair to the poor guy.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Long as you’re honest with him, I think things could work out. At our age, everyone has their baggage.” He laughed. “After all, you are pretty easy on the eyes—it’s not like you’re ugly or the scourge of the county.”

  She couldn’t help smiling. “You’re being silly. I’ve told you about me. It’s still your turn to talk about you. I know you’re from Texas and had a falling-out with your family. What about your marriage? How did it end up being just you and Jamie?”

  Leaning his head back against the seat, he stared at the stars. “It happened a long time ago. One day while I was at work a neighbor called me. She was planting flowers in her yard and could hear the baby crying at the top of her lungs and nobody would answer the door. I rushed home and Jamie was there, only nine months old, lying in a dirty diaper in her crib, locked in the house by herself. Lilly had left her and me that day. She never came back.”

  “Oh my God, how could anyone leave a baby by itself? What was wrong with that woman?” Just the thought horrified her.

  “I found out later she was seeing another guy and she’d been strung out on drugs.” He leaned forward and adjusted the heat. “Not making an excuse for her, but she wasn’t in her right mind when she left us. It nearly killed me. That night the neighbor watched Jamie and I went out to a bar to try to find her. I had several drinks with some of the local boys and got into some trouble.”

  “What kind of trouble?” Now he was getting to the heart of it. She was going to learn the truth. His usually lively eyes sparkled with weariness.

  “I had a few too many to drink and I passed out in the back seat of one of the guy’s cars. Stupid thing to do.” He shook his head with a shiver of the vivid recollection. “Anyway, these good old boys decided to rob a bank. They did. I was charged as an accessory. My lawyer was fresh out of law school. I spent two years in prison and got out for good behavior. I'm still on probation for another year."

  He paused as if he still felt the pain. “My family wouldn’t help when I needed it. Grandpa said I needed to learn a lesson.” He frowned and continued. “I learned it, the hard way. I haven’t spoken to him since the night I called home for help.”

  She couldn’t imagine not speaking to her Nana for years and being left to rot in a jail cell. Seth's pain went deep—to his soul, like hers. She saw it reflected clearly in his eyes. “That’s terrible. But you didn’t do it. Why couldn’t they see that?”

  “It was a small town and an election year. They didn’t want to see the truth. When I was released from prison, I came to Colorado where my aunt was raising Jamie. I worked on ranches on the western slope until I worked my way here.” He gazed into her eyes. “I’ve come to terms with my past. I want to settle down and raise Jamie in one place. Cedar Falls is where I want to do that. Nana is like a real grandmother to her and we love it here.”

  “She cares about you and Jamie too.” He planned to stay around. That was good. Nana loved the child and Grace had grown quite fond of her. From what Seth had confided in her, she had been right to give him the benefit of the doubt. Nana was right. He was a good man with a kind heart.

  He gently brushed his fingers down the side of her face. “We care about Nana, too.”

  Hesitating, he searched her face for she knew not what then leaned in and kissed her. The touch of his lips was a delicious sensation. She wound her arms inside his jacket and around his back. Happiness filled her when he parted her lips. She raised herself to meet his kisses.

  At last, reluctantly, they separated a few inches. Her heart beat wildly while she rested her head in the hollow between his shoulder and neck. They watched the stars. She was swimming in dangerous waters. He made her feel things she had thought were gone forever. She sighed in pleasant exhaustion.

  “Any man would be a fool not to want to spend the rest of his life with you,” he whispered into her hair, cradling her in his arms.

  She listened to the rumble of his chest before she answered. “Thanks for being kind, but you don’t know what you’re talking about. I have to level with you.” She winced and swallowed hard. “No man would want me with my baggage. Sure, maybe for a night or two, but that’s not what I want. I want more out of life than a few flings. I’d rather be by myself than spend my life that way.” After kissing Seth, her heart ached at the thought of being alone for the rest of her life. He tipped her chin back, gazing into her eyes. “Nobody knows what the future holds. I could get hurt tomorrow and never be able to walk again. There’s more to a relationship—”

  Grace’s cell phone rang, interrupting him.

  Damn, she didn't want to answer it. Seth watched her dig it out of her purse. “Hello.” She held the small phone close to her ear, turning toward Seth. “We’ll be right there.” She snapped the phone shut and glanced at Seth. “Your aunt is trying to get in touch with you. There’s been a family emergency.”

  Strange and disquieting emotions raced across his face when he pulled away from her side and leaned against the back of the seat. “I haven’t spoken to my aunt in months.” His voice was thick and unsteady. “I don’t know why she’d call.” Startled at his own voice, he glanced out at the stars.

  “It sounds serious. Nana said they’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days. Do you want to use my cell phone to call them?” She touched the back of his hand, wanting to give him back some of the strength and comfort he’d just shown her. "No, we'd better go. I'll call them from the ranch.”

  “If you need to talk later, you know where to find me.”

  “Thanks.” He kissed her cheek, started the truck and backed onto the road. “Let’s find out what this is about.”

  Chapter Eight

  Seth smiled to ease the tension as Nana held open the storm door to let them inside. She must have been waiting at the window watching for them to get home. Her eyes were bright with concern. He appreciated the tenderness in her gaze.

  “Oh Seth, I’m glad you’re here. It sounds real serious. I’ve been calling all over for you. Finally, I reached Cindy and she said you were giving Grace a ride home.” Nana stood in the hallway wringing her hands. “The number is by the phone. Grace, come with me." She glanced at Seth. "We’ll go in the kitchen and give you some privacy.”

  “Thanks ma’am.” Tossing his hat on the
sofa, he took a deep breath and picked up the yellow notepad with the phone number written on it. He winced when he recognized his parent’s number and pushed the buttons on the phone. What was going on? Grandpa wouldn’t lower himself to call me. After all, I’ve been dead to him for years. A twinge of guilt played around the corners of his mind. Maybe I should’ve opened that last letter. He sighed. Why after all these years did they bother to call him? The ringing in the distance seemed to go on forever.

  “Taylor residence,” the butler answered. Seth recognized the voice. Davis had been with the family since Seth was a child. He was like family.

  “This is Seth.” Panic, like he’d never known before welled in his throat. Was this about his mom? In his mind’s eye, he could still see his mother standing in the doorway crying when he had been sent away years ago. She hadn’t done anything to him. She just went along with Grandpa’s orders, knowing she had no choice in the matter. He hadn’t seen or spoken to her since but he loved her. He silently prayed his parents were all right.

  “Good to hear from you, sir. Your mother has been trying to locate you. I’ll get her for you.” Silence drifted over the line as Seth breathed a sigh of relief. At least his mother was all right.

  “Seth, is it really you?” His mother’s strained voice crackled with static along the phone lines.

  “Yes ma’am, it’s me.” A wave of apprehension swept through him. “What’s going on?”

  “You must come home.” Hearing the catch in her fragile and shaking voice he gripped the phone tight, expecting to hear the worst. “It’s your grandfather. He’s had a stroke. They don’t expect him to make it.”

  “Mom, he wouldn’t want me there.” He tried to keep his heart cold and still, letting the pain from the past stay in the past. “We said our piece years ago.”

  “He’s dying and he’s asking for you. We need you.”

  The silence between them grew tight with tension and he tried to hold his raw feelings in check. He just wants to rant at me one more time. I can’t believe he wants me there. He squeezed his fist as new emotions ran rampant. “It isn’t my place to be there.”

  “Yes, it is. Seth, he’s your grandfather. Please. For me, come home.” Her voice cracked. “I’m losing my father and we want you here.” She cleared her throat and her voice evened out. “I’ll send the corporate jet to pick you up at DIA in Denver. They can be there in a few hours.” He flinched when he heard her swallow a sob. “Please, it’s been too long.”

  He couldn’t stand the sound of her tear-strained voice any longer. He had hurt her too much over the years. He was sorry for that. “I’ll do it for you, Mom.” He said the words tentatively, testing the idea.

  “Wonderful. The plane will be there in a couple of hours. It’ll wait for you.”

  He swallowed a lump in his throat and tried to hold back his pent-up anger. This was his mother—Jamie’s grandmother. “Mom, I love you. For your sake, I’ll come home...I...I’m sorry about Grandpa. I wish things could’ve been different.”

  “Don’t fret about it now. Just come home.” She sniffled. “We’ll work things out when you get here. Know that you’ve made me very happy.”

  Hanging up the phone, Seth stared into the mirror over the fireplace. Only now that he was off the phone did he dare to relax. After all these years, he had agreed to go home. What was he thinking? He had to—his mother needed him. And they hadn’t needed him in a very long time. He picked up his hat and started toward the kitchen.

  “Nana, there’s a family crisis back in Texas. My grandfather is dying and I need to go help my mother.” He sighed. “Would it be okay if Jamie stayed here with you? She doesn’t remember any of my relatives. I don’t want her to have to go through this.”

  Nana glanced across the kitchen table at Grace and back at Seth. “Whatever you need, we’d love to take care of Jamie.”

  Grace nodded. “Sure, I’d be happy to help out. She’ll be fine with us.”

  “Thanks, to both of you.” Their faces were full of strength, shining with a steadfast and serene peace. He stood, turning the brim of his cowboy hat in his hand, realizing how lucky he and Jamie were to have these two women in their lives.

  “They want me to fly out tonight from DIA.” He glanced at Grace, not quite ready to leave her after what they had just shared. But he had no choice. “I have to pack and wake Jamie and tell her I’ll be gone for a few days.” He took two steps forward and turned to face Nana wanting to reassure her things would run smoothly at the ranch while he was away. “Before I leave I’ll get in touch with Travis and make sure things are taken care of here.”

  “Don’t worry about that. Just get to your family.” Nana hugged him. “Go on, get out of here. They need you.”

  “Thanks ma’am.” He hugged her and glanced at Grace over her shoulder. “I’ll be back soon as I can.” Besides needing to return for Jamie’s sake, he had another reason to return—he was falling for Grace’s strength and quiet determination. When he left the room, thoughts of what he would be facing in Texas turned his blood cold. It had been many years since he had faced his grandfather. Was his mother right? Would things be any different this time? Somehow, he doubted it.

  Chapter Nine

  “Grace telephone for you.” The next morning, Nana handed her the receiver.

  Who would be calling this early on a Saturday morning? The clock on the mantel chimed 8:00 a.m. and Grace yawned. She was still in her robe having her morning coffee. “Hello.”

  “Good morning, Sunshine. How’s life treating you today?”

  She yawned again, trying to wake up. “Cindy, I’m surprised you're up and about this early.”

  “Oh, didn’t you know? I’m an early bird these days. I do Mrs. Rollins’ hair every Saturday morning at 7:30 a.m. on the dot. Been doing it for the past couple years. Have to keep my customers happy.” She laughed. “She’s having her coffee under the dryer while we chat.”

  “Why do you go in so early? It’s your shop—you could have someone else come in and do her hair.”

  “I really don’t mind. Besides, I owe her. She did me a huge favor.” Grace heard the hesitation in her voice. “She loaned me the money to buy my shop when the bank refused. Anyway, I like her.”

  “Ah, I see. Since you put it that way, I do understand.”

  “I’ve paid her back, but now that I’ve got to know her I enjoy her company. We have a great time on Saturday mornings. She always brings me donuts and coffee.” She became quiet for a heartbeat. “Okay, enough small talk. Give.”

  “Give what?” Grace knew what. It was like Cindy had built-in radar when it came to her.

  “You know. Out with it. Tell me what happened between you and Seth last night.”

  Pleasant memories of looking at the stars with Seth came flooding back, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to share them yet. “What do you mean? He gave me a ride home to the ranch.”

  “Grace, when Nana called me last night you had more than enough time to get to the ranch. Where were you? And besides, I saw the sparks passing between you two. Don’t deny it. There’s something going on and I want to know about it.”

  “Okay, okay, don’t get your panties in a knot. We stopped to look at the meteor shower and talked about the ranch and the land.” Trying to disguise her annoyance, she took a deep breath. “It’s no big deal.” She wasn’t ready to tell Cindy the feelings she was experiencing toward Seth. She wasn’t ready to accept them herself.

  “Humph, be that way. I’ll get it out of you later.” She laughed. The sound echoed softly in Grace’s ear. “What are you doing tonight?”

  Cindy was entirely too cheerful for this time of morning. “I don’t have any plans. Why?”

  “After you left last night, Jenna and I were talking and she’d like to get to know you better.” She hesitated for a moment. “Would you mind if we come out to the ranch and visit with you this evening?”

  “You know you’re always welcome. You don’t need an invi
tation.”

  “Great, we’ll be there after dinner, say around seven?”

  “Okay, what's really up your sleeve?” She could tell by the sound of Cindy’s voice the wheels were turning in the squirrel cage. She was up to something.

  “Why, Ms. Sanderson, I’d never dream of having something up my sleeve. Not where it concerns you.” She lowered her voice, being purposefully mysterious. “You know where the bodies are buried.”

  She laughed. She did know a lot of Cindy’s secrets. “At least give me a hint.”

  “If you must know, it was Jenna’s idea. She has a proposition for you.”

  “A proposition, what kind of proposition?” There wasn’t much anyone could proposition her with, since she couldn’t work.

  “She’ll tell you about it tonight. I think you might be interested. After all, you’re going to write the next best seller.”

  “There you go again. I’m not good enough.”

  “You're good at anything you put your mind to.” The tone of her voice became serious. “You write well and you have a story to tell.”

  “Okay, I’ll consider it.” She had thought about writing her story, a lot, in the past few days.

  “Listen, I have to go. Mrs. Rollins should be cooked to a crisp by now. We’ll see you around seven. I’ll bring the wine.”

  She stood there with the dial tone in her ear. Thank goodness for Cindy. She was pushy, but a good friend.

  Perhaps this was a sign, maybe Cindy was right—maybe she could write a book to help people suffering with chronic pain. The book she had needed when she was first diagnosed.

  A few minutes later, Jamie came up to Grace with a tremor in her voice. “Did you know my dad had to go away?” Jamie sat on the sofa next to her. “I miss him.” Tears shimmered in her big blue eyes and the corners of her mouth drooped.