Only Yours

by Lynn Graeme

  His mate.

  Fuck. The realization shook Jamal to the core. Confused him. Angered him. She had no right to devastate him that way.

  He took out his frustrations on her, scoring his teeth over the too-sensitive curve of her neck.

  “Say it,” he repeated, the demand an almost unintelligible snarl. “Say my name.”

  She sobbed. “Jamal.”

  “Good girl,” he purred, and thrust two fingers into her.

  Terris gasped and twisted in his arms. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his hips.

  “My, my. The good girl’s so wet.” A gentle corkscrewing motion elicited another gush of moisture. Jamal smiled into her ear. “So, so wet. And so tight. You don’t want to let me go, do you?”

  “Please,” Terris mumbled. Her nipples were hard diamond points thrusting into his chest. “Not here—”

  “Where people can see? Don’t you want them to see you open up for me? What a lovely present, Terris. Look at this sweet cream. Makes a cat want to lick every … little … bit … up.” He ran his tongue along her jaw, savoring the taste of her soft skin. “How long has it been, Terris? A year? Two?”

  She buried her face against his neck. “Four.”

  “Ah. Such a shockingly long time not to have a hard cock in you. I’d fool myself into thinking you were saving yourself for me, but I’m not that stupid. Obviously the men around you are, though, for leaving you alone all this time.” He sucked hard at the skin behind her neck, and was rewarded by a cry and her undulating hips. “All the better for me.”

  He slipped three fingers into her now, pumping into her wet heat. His thumb swirled around her clit and set her off. Fuck, the way she moved. So hot and demanding. So beautiful.

  He wasn’t fucking good enough for her, but that didn’t stop her wanting it. Wanting him.

  Jamal slid his mouth over hers at the same time that he curled his fingers deep inside her and pressed hard. His pretty little Valkyrie lit up like glorious fireworks.

  Jamal drank in her cries, his hand coaxing out her climax. He grinned as she pulled at his hair and bucked. It took a long time before she even started coming down from her high, and he relished every moment of it, burning every sight and scent and sound into his memory. He’d be dreaming of this moment for nights to come.

  Terris was still shuddering when Jamal reached down to unsnap his jeans. They both froze when they heard murmured voices from the other side of the wall.

  “Shit.” Jamal quickly but carefully lowered Terris to the floor, checking to make sure her legs held steady under her before he adjusted himself.

  Her fair skin was flushed bright pink, her perfect hair disheveled. Her lipstick was smeared off her mouth, and Jamal had no doubt he’d gotten some on his. He could glimpse a lacy peach bra peeking out from beneath the rumpled top of her dress.

  He hadn’t even touched them, Jamal thought as he gazed at her breasts, forlorn. Hadn’t had the chance to taste her. Roll those sweets nipples around on his tongue.

  And he was still hard and frustrated, dammit.

  Anyone who stepped out into the hall right now would know exactly what’d happened here, regardless of whether they were shifter or human. It didn’t take enhanced senses to see Terris all exposed and wanton, mouth swollen and fresh from begging for more. Just two seconds earlier and they would’ve caught him humping her against the wall.

  Jamal clenched his fists as fierce possessiveness rolled through him. Terris belonged to him. Screw anyone who threatened to deny him his mate.

  Screw Terris if she wanted to deny him herself.

  She tried to straighten her dress and failed. “I have to … have to… .”

  Have to look perfect again. He completed the rest of her unspoken sentence. “Yeah.” He jerked his head in direction of the washrooms. “Go.”

  Terris was about to turn, then she stopped and gripped his arm with sudden alarm. “Will you … will you wait for me? Please. I need to explain.”

  He shouldn’t let her any closer. Then again, how much closer could she get? She’d already burrowed deep underneath his skin and taken residence in that hollow cavern in the middle of his chest. And even then it wasn’t enough. He wanted more.

  He wanted to taste all of her, dammit.

  Erection throbbing hard and painfully behind his zipper, Jamal gave a curt nod, unable to speak. Terris returned a shaky smile before hurrying down the hallway.

  She was out of sight when the door to the lab swung open. Dr. Overkin’s frown greeted him.

  “Agent.” His voice was heavy with disapproval. He sniffed the air and his frown deepened. Beyond the doorway, Jamal could see the awkward shuffling of techs trying not to meet his gaze.

  Yeah. They’d heard everything that’d gone on out in the hall.

  Jamal stared back at Overkin without blinking. Then he lifted his left hand—still glistening with Terris’s juices—and licked his fingers clean.

  The bear-shifter adjusted his glasses and growled.

  It wasn’t a possessive growl. Not the sort a male would make to another male to stake his claim. If it were, Jamal would’ve been hard-pressed not to rip into the older man’s guts. Overkin’s response was more protective, a word of warning. He was defending his colleague, a woman under his protection.

  Jamal could respect that, even as he sneered at the bear’s incompetent attempt. He could protect Terris far better than that, though granted, not from himself.

  Jamal brushed past the man and entered the room. So what if they all thought he didn’t deserve her? She was the one who’d kissed him. She’d chosen him, whether she knew it or not. Let their jealous asses chew on that.

  The nameless, fluttering techs diligently occupied themselves with taking his vitals. Overkin managed to keep his grunts down to a minimum, though Jamal didn’t care. He was far too busy trying to will away his erection. He knew they’d be watching him closely when he stripped for his supervised shift, and wouldn’t they just get an eyeful in his current condition.

  At a tech’s instruction, Jamal tossed his T-shirt aside so they could attach sensors to his chest. His skin still felt too hot, too sensitive, and he bet that just messed up their charts as they recorded his readings. The heart rate monitor attached to him beeped as if in agreement.

  A young freckled tech fussed with the camera that would be filming Jamal’s transformation. Overkin still seemed pissed off, so the tech took over explaining to Jamal what he could expect from the session.

  Ostensibly, Jamal’s new hand would detect the physical and hormonal changes taking place in his body when he shifted, and thus signal the nexoskeletal core to retract and compress to form the bone structure necessary for a paw. A snow leopard paw, the tech said with barely concealed glee. Wolves and bears were a dime a dozen, but they’d never tried to replicate a snow leopard in their experiments before. Meanwhile, the lab-grown cells infused with Jamal’s DNA, housing that nexoskeletal core, would undergo the biological change necessary to sprout fur, extend claws, and form pads on the base of his foot. The artificial paw ought to resemble his real one, based on the many hours Jamal had spent running and leaping on the treadmill and in the observation chamber.

  Jamal only half-listened to the tech’s chatter. His gaze kept straying to the door. Terris had said she wanted to speak to him, yet he was almost afraid she wouldn’t return. He’d been rough with her out in the hall. She hadn’t stood a chance.

  Overkin tapped his clipboard with his pen and stared pointedly at the padded mat at the center of the room. Jamal was just toeing off his jeans to step onto the mat when he heard the door open behind him.

  Several heads swiveled as one to stare as Terris slipped into the room. A wash of deep rose suffused her cheeks as she felt six pairs of eyes study her. Then all eyes swiveled back to take in Jamal’s reaction. In the background, everyone heard the jump in his heartbeat.

  So much for willing away his erection.

  She’d smoothed out her hair and r
eadjusted her dress to look more presentable. There was no hiding her mouth so swollen from passion, though. Her lipstick was a lost cause so she’d wiped it all off. She looked even younger as a result. More vulnerable.

  Didn’t mean he’d change his mind about holding her down and licking her slit, though.

  He smiled a private smile meant only for her, then shucked off his underwear. Terris’s swiftly indrawn breath was sharp and audible in the quiet room.

  Oh, yeah. The confident Valkyrie blushed so well.

  Jamal turned around to step on the mat, then twitched his ass at her for good measure.

  “Dork,” she muttered under her breath. Jamal tossed back a grin.

  Overkin tapped his foot and ticked off checkboxes on his clipboard. “Whenever you’re ready, Agent Mousenn.”

  Jamal stared down at his right hand. This was it, then. He flexed just to make sure it was working. He looked up and met Terris’s gaze for several long heartbeats—each punctuated by the monitor’s beep—before focusing inward.

  Drawing a deep breath, he shifted.

  Fangs extended. Bones realigned with sharp, crunching snaps as human skin gave way to dappled white-gold fur. Jamal fell onto the mat and hunched over. The near-orgasmic pain was a familiar cloak sweeping onto his body, tightening his muscles and extending his limbs.

  But something was wrong.

  The pleasure-pain twisted into shooting fire coursing up Jamal’s foreleg. He stared down at it in horror. His body was shifting, but his right hand was putting up resistance. His fingers half-retracted as fur sprouted between his knuckles, but then the bones split right through his flesh. A very human-like metacarpus ripped past his spotted paw.

  It was a horrific, macabre sight.

  The pain was even worse.

  A soundless scream escaped Jamal as he buckled. It felt like his hand was being ripped off all over again. He pressed that gruesome, misshapen thing to his belly as he curled up and thrashed on the mat, face contorted in agony. He was barely cognizant of the shouts echoing around him.

  “Jamal! Can you hear me? Jamal!”

  Terris’s panicked cry pierced through the haze of pain. Jamal felt her hands on his feverish furred skin. He wished he could speak to reassure her. He didn’t want her afraid.

  “Jamal!” Her scream turned into rage. “Help him, damn you! Help him! Change him back!”

  “Agent Mousenn, can you hear me? Goddammit, Harris, where’s that shot?”

  The feel of blood soaking through his fur wasn’t a new sensation. Yet another familiar cloak, Jamal thought hazily, just as consciousness deserted him like the traitor it was.

  *

  “Back to a stump, I see.”

  Terris roused from the chair she’d been resting in beside Jamal’s cot. She almost staggered under the wave of relief that washed over her. “You’re awake.”

  Jamal grimaced at his right arm, now in a cast from just below the elbow to an inch above the wrist joint. The rest of his wrist was bandaged, reminiscent of the first time Terris had met him. When she saw him start to sit up she quickly rushed to help him.

  “Careful. Don’t move too quickly. You still need to rest. How are you feeling?” She couldn’t stop running her hands all over him, the need to touch him as frantic as her still-present fear. “Are you in pain? Can I get you some water?”

  Jamal grunted. “Let me breathe, woman.”

  Terris flinched, but Jamal grabbed her hand before she could pull away. He gave it a light squeeze. She looked at him warily, then relaxed when she caught the gleam in his dark eyes. He didn’t appear angry.

  Her heart gave an uneven thump as he pressed a brief kiss to her pulse before releasing her hand entirely. He still looked tired, she noted with worry.

  Terris sat on the cot, facing Jamal. She desperately wanted to throw her arms around him and never let him go. Needed to ensure he was all right. Oh, sure, she’d heard what the doctors had said. She’d read their reports. Intellectually, she understood. Emotionally, however, she couldn’t rest easy until she’d ascertained for herself that Jamal was all right. Even then, she probably wouldn’t release him.

  She settled for resting her hand on his sheet-covered thigh. He felt warm, solid. Alive.

  Terris trembled with relief.

  Jamal arched a brow while looking pointedly at his cast. A silent inquiry.

  “They had to realign and reset your bones.” Terris held her voice amazingly steady considering her state of mind. “Once the swelling was down they put together the broken pieces and screwed them in place. You were in surgery for over three hours.”

  Jamal’s frown scanned her from head to toe. “How long was I out?”

  “Two days.”

  “Motherf—” Jamal thumped back against the pillows, stunned. Then he narrowed a look at Terris.

  She lowered her gaze, aware she was a mess. She wore no make-up, hadn’t styled her hair in days, and had thrown together mismatched clothing that didn’t require much forethought so that she could hurry out of her door that morning to spend her waking hours beside Jamal’s cot. It’d been what she’d done every day since he’d landed here in the infirmary at Moran Towers. She’d canceled dinner with her mother, eschewed appointments with friends and colleagues, and taken time off work, all so that she could stay by his bedside.

  Her colleagues had made no comment as they tiptoed around her for the past two days to check on his stats. Not that Terris would’ve cared—she hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything but the too-still form of the man lying before her. Her nerves remained in pieces since that horrific afternoon when Jamal had collapsed in helpless agony before her very eyes, his body contorting and twisting like some nightmarish grotesque, unable to make a single sound through his indescribable pain.

  That memory continued to haunt Terris, worse than the ones she’d had as a child waking up screaming of explosions and her mother’s tears.

  “I’m sick and tired of winding up in hospital beds.” Jamal looked around him, taking a closer look at the windowless room. “This isn’t the hospital.”

  Terris shook her head. “We’re in Moran Towers’ infirmary. It was the quickest way to get you help and operate to remove the prosthesis.”

  “Oh. Good. ’Cause I’ll be damned if I see Benson’s smirking mug again.”

  She could see the lines of tension bracketing Jamal’s mouth. “You need more rest,” she deduced as she prepared to rise.

  “Sit,” he barked. He glared again at the room around him. “I need to get out of here, is what I need.” He checked underneath the sheet that covered him to the waist. Terris then recalled that he was nude beneath the sheet. She blushed and removed her hand from his thigh.

  With a mental shrug, Jamal sat up and swung his bare legs off the cot. The sheet only just managed to stay in place over his groin. He impatiently yanked off the wires and IV lines attached to him.

  Terris leapt forward. “What are you doing? Stop that!”

  He batted off her hands. “My arm’s in a cast, Terris, not the rest of my body. No reason I can’t move around.” He accidentally brushed his bandaged wrist on the mattress and jerked back, hissing in pain.

  “There, you see? Get back in bed!”

  “Only if you join me.”

  Terris pushed him back with both hands, trying to make him lie down, but it was like trying to move a mountain. He was hard and solid, refusing to budge. The idiot even seemed to enjoy it. Terris was suddenly conscious of his hot, smooth skin on hers, the shifting of firm, rock-solid muscles beneath her palms.

  She snatched her hands back. Jamal’s smile turned a little too sharp.

  At least he wasn’t getting on his feet. He remained sitting beside her, square jaw shifting in challenge. Then he peered down at his wrist, frowning as he ran his finger over its bindings. He hissed again.

  Terris grabbed his hand. “Stop that.”

  “Something’s different.”

  “They had to remove the nex
oskeletal base as well. The one the prosthesis attaches to. Dr. Overkin said you’ll feel tender in that area for a while.”

  Jamal grimaced. “So I’ll have to undergo the operation again to implant the base for a second round? Fantastic.”

  Terris wanted to cry. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Why?”

  “What do you mean, why? You got hurt, you big lug!”

  Jamal threw her an incredulous look. “I get hurt all the time, Terris. Comes with Council territory. I heal.”

  “You’ve never been hurt like this!”

  “True. New one to add to my repertoire.” He noted her expression and stopped. “Terris, it’s okay. I’m still here. Much to your detriment, I’m sure.”

  “Don’t even joke about that.”

  Terris couldn’t help it. All the fears and frustrations that had been building up over the last few days finally spilled over. She sank back, trembling, and buried her face in her hands.

  “Hey, hey.”

  Jamal tilted her chin up with his knuckle to look at her. Terris tried to turn her face away but he stayed her movements, gently cupping her cheek. His breath caught in his throat. He thumbed away the traitorous tear before it could fall.

  His voice was soft, dark eyes bewildered. “What’s this? My Valkyrie doesn’t cry.”

  Terris was too upset to care why he was calling her that. She supposed she no longer looked good enough to be a princess. “Don’t you dare tell me what to do or feel.”

  Jamal hauled her to his bare chest. Terris resisted at first, thumping him with her fist, but he refused to release her. At last she relented and buried her face in the base of his neck. Wrapped around him like this, Terris could almost believe he was all right, that nothing would hurt him. She wouldn’t let anything hurt him.

  Jamal maintained his fierce grip around her waist. It was as if he was determined to shield her from all the demons on earth with just his one working arm. Knowing him, he probably could. And with no less savagery.

  Oddly enough, that really turned her on.