Only Yours

by Lynn Graeme

  Terris grew increasingly aware of Jamal’s hard, muscular body imprisoning her to him. She wanted to crawl deeper into him, tuck herself into his impenetrable heat, and seep herself with his unique, masculine scent. Become thoroughly his.

  He was unlike any other man she’d encountered before. The fiercest and most aggressive of warriors, violence and brutality was hacked into his very bones. Yet he was also borne of pain and horror, of an innate vulnerability that he’d revealed to nobody else but her. As a boy, he’d done whatever was necessary to scrape his way through and survive. As a man, he’d dedicated his life to protecting the innocent and defenseless, as no one had protected him.

  And the way he touched her… . Terris’s breasts grew tight and sensitive, while the inside of her thighs softened and pooled with heat. Her mouth ached for the taste of him. His near-nakedness inflamed her, stirring her blood to a rattling boil. At the same time, his strong, solid heat cocooned her in a protective veil, coaxing her to relax against him and let down her guard.

  Guilt assaulted her. The man was recovering from a painful experience and surgery, and she couldn’t get her blasted hormones in gear. She tried to move away, but Jamal grunted and hauled her right back to his lap.

  “Stay.”

  She felt his low rumble resonate from deep in his chest into hers, traveling through their entwined bodies and sending shivers down her spine. His breath grazed the curve of her ear—or was that his mouth?

  Terris was reminded again of his devastating kisses, and the way his large hands had roamed her body. Had thrust inside her body.

  Her breath hitched. She could feel her own desire pulsing like a heartbeat between her legs, making itself known. And she soon became aware of something very hard and insistent pressing against her thigh.

  “Well,” Jamal muttered, “at least we know the rest of me is in full working condition.”

  Terris blushed. She heard his low chuckle and shivered as his hot mouth skimmed the tip of her ear again.

  Memories of what they’d done in the hallway only a few days ago consumed her. The way Jamal had dragged her under his power and over that peak. The way she’d let him. He’d touched and caressed her so masterfully, out in the open where anyone could see.

  She hadn’t cared then. She didn’t care now. All she knew was that she’d nearly lost him in a terrible experiment gone wrong, an experiment she’d convinced him to join in the first place.

  “You’re shaking.” Jamal rubbed his hand briskly up and down her back.

  Terris half-laughed, half-sobbed. He was the one who’d undergone such agonizing pain and horror, yet he was comforting her.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve been here all this time waiting for me to wake up.”

  Terris rubbed her face against his chest. She didn’t answer.

  “Ah, Terris.” A soft, low sigh. Jamal squeezed her waist, a gentle rebuke. He pressed his face into her hair and inhaled deeply. “Keep that up and I might fool myself into thinking you care.”

  “Don’t, Jamal. Just … don’t.” She closed her eyes. “I was so scared.”

  He was silent for far too long.

  “I don’t know what to do with you, Terris,” he murmured at last.

  Terris froze. The sudden, staggering pain took her unawares. She hadn’t expected it to hurt so much. The fissure tore into a deeper chasm in her chest, her heart tottering by that ledge, ready to tumble into the gaping abyss below.

  “Tell me what to do with you, because I sure as hell can’t figure it out for myself.” Jamal’s hand continued to stroke her back, a slow, gentle back-and-forth motion that belied the hollow note in his voice. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I wish I could. I wish the very thought of you doesn’t make my blood pump just that little bit faster. That your laugh doesn’t haunt my dreams. I can’t escape you. Wherever I go, there you are, just out of reach. And fool that I am, I want you there.”

  Terris lifted her head. Jamal’s gaze was somber, dark eyes fathomless as he studied her, as if trying to piece together a complicated puzzle.

  “What do you want from me, Terris? A little piece of my heart for you to take out and admire from time to time? How many men have you mesmerized this way? How many have you captured and cut off at the knees without even trying?”

  “Is that what you think of me?” Terris whispered. “That I would be so cruel? I told you, Jamal: it’s not a game. Never has been. The last thing I’d want to do is hurt you.”

  She couldn’t tell if he believed her, or if he even wanted to hear her out. She clenched her fists.

  “I’m not immune to you,” she confessed, fighting back angry tears.

  “Glad to hear it.”

  “But you knew that already.”

  “You coming on my fingers was a dead giveaway.”

  She colored.

  “Ah, my pretty Valkyrie.” Jamal ran the back of his fingers along her cheekbone, so remarkably tender. “You’re going to be so rosy for me, aren’t you?”

  When I take you to bed, was the unspoken intimation.

  No, he wouldn’t put it so prosaically. When I fuck you until you scream.

  Terris squeezed her thighs together, trying to mentally slap some sense into her body.

  Jamal gazed down at her, appearing transfixed by the trail of heat he’d left behind on her skin. The sly smile faded. His expression turned pensive. Then, as if coming back to himself, he dropped his hand back to his side.

  Terris bowed her head. “I care for you, Jamal.”

  “You say that, yet you can’t look me in the eye.”

  She snapped up and glared. “It’s true. I care for you. I want you. I like you, even when you’re being a jerk.”

  “Or especially when I’m being a jerk.” An unexpected grin altered the harsh lines of his face.

  Terris faltered, then forced herself to gather her courage. It wasn’t easy, opening herself up to him. Yet she knew she had to try.

  “I fell in love with a client once.”

  Chapter Six

  Terris saw the grin fade from Jamal’s face. She regretted its loss, mourned it as dark brows drew together and deepened the furrow in between.

  “Who? Here?” The words were rough and jagged, his fingers digging into her hip.

  She shook her head. “No. This was years ago, before I joined Moran Industries.” It was hard to look at Jamal and tell him this, so Terris fixated unseeingly on a random spot on the wall. “I was working at another pharmaceutical company. We first met outside my workplace. I bumped into him as he was leaving the building. He’s a financial specialist, so I thought he’d been meeting my director, and he never corrected my mistake.”

  Jamal continued stroking her, a soothing nonstop motion even as Terris sensed his sharp focus on her.

  “It was one of those whirlwind romances. I admit I was weak—eager to live my own life after I moved out of my parents’ place. I was tired of being coddled. I wanted to live and love wild for once.”

  “Living and loving wild isn’t a weakness. It’s a pleasure. It’s a gift.”

  “I guess. I thought I was in love, at any rate. But love demands honesty, and he never told me the truth. He was actually a clinical trial participant for a new beta blocker my company was working on. I was assigned to monitor the trial’s control group, and he was in a different group, so I didn’t know he was involved. But he knew I was. I’d spoken of it when we were together. Told him of some of our findings—not the confidential stuff, of course, but still. He continued to lead me to believe he knew nothing about the study except what I’d told him.”

  “You found out, I take it.”

  She nodded, throat tightening. “The committee overseeing the study convened so that all the department representatives could meet each individual participant and evaluate his or her progress. Up until then I’d only known the other groups’ participants by their client codes, to preserve their anonymity. You can imagine my shock when I stepped into the room with my co
lleagues and saw him staring back at me.” Terris fisted her hands on her lap. “I managed to hold it together in front of everyone, but that evening when I met him, I told him we couldn’t be involved anymore. He’d lied to me. I didn’t even know who he really was. And even if I could accept his pleas as genuine apologies, it wouldn’t have mattered. Continuing our relationship would’ve been unethical.”

  “Fuck his apologies,” Jamal growled. “Bastard lied to your face for—how long was it, weeks? Months? Can’t trust a son of a bitch like that.”

  “Two months. Anyway, I knew I had to come clean with my director. I was terrified about my professional future. Chances were I’d be fired. And word gets around in this industry—I could get blacklisted by all future employers. But I couldn’t pretend or cover this up. I had to come clean and deal with the fallout.”

  Jamal’s jaw hardened. “I take it it didn’t go well.”

  “Such a sharp man.” She attempted a weak smile.

  He swept his thumb over her lower lip. “You’re not meant for sad smiles, Terris.”

  “Don’t you dare tell me how to feel.” Terris looked away and sighed. “Anyway, I was politely requested to seek another position. My director was sympathetic, however—he could’ve fired me and let the word get around. This way, at least, the sordid details would be kept quiet.” She paused. “Or it could’ve been.”

  Jamal tensed. “What did he do?”

  “He?”

  “The son of a bitch who lied to you. Something else happened, I can tell. What did he do? He couldn’t let it go?”

  Sometimes Terris forgot that Jamal was a savvy Council agent who read people all too well.

  “You’re right. He didn’t want to end things. I didn’t give him a choice, so he lashed out.”

  Jamal stiffened, hackles raised. “He hit you?”

  “No. He just … he started flooding me with messages, both over the phone and online. I tried ignoring them, but that only incited him further. He began contacting my family and friends—he actually looked up their information so he could harass them about me. You can imagine how my already-overprotective family reacted.”

  “Did you file a restraining order?”

  “Of course. Not that it worked. He switched to using anonymous accounts, but I knew it was him even without the veiled inferences. By that point, he didn’t even care about whether I’d take him back again. He just wanted to … to punish me. When he discovered I’d found a new job at Moran Industries, he started directing those messages to my colleagues here.” She paused. “He wrote about what it was like to fuck a one-legged cripple.”

  Terris’s face burned with mortified shame. It’d been a humiliating experience walking into work and finding out what’d been awaiting her colleagues in their inboxes that morning. Only a few weeks into her new job, into what she’d regarded as a fresh start, and she’d felt her world crashing down all over again.

  Jamal’s snarl was savage and chilling. “I’ll kill him.”

  “At least he didn’t send pictures.”

  “He took pictures?” Jamal said sharply.

  Terris felt the press of protracting nails against her hip. She winced.

  “Fuck.” He released her and backed off, fist clenched. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Fuck.”

  “No, it’s okay. You didn’t hurt me.” She missed his arm around her, in fact. His reassuring heat, its undeniable strength. “No, we never took pictures. Not the kind you’re thinking of. I’m not that brave.” Her gaze lingered on her artificial leg, its delineating line hidden beneath her skirt.

  “You’re the bravest person I know,” Jamal growled.

  He wanted to do damage. Terris could see it in his eyes. His beast lurked too close to the surface. If he shifted now, he’d undo all the repair done to his still-healing bones.

  Hesitant, she stroked his arm. His muscles were still clenched tight and tense, rock-hard, but the fury trembling through them lessened with each pass. Terris slowly leaned forward, gauging his expression, and put her arms around his neck. She tenderly stroked his back, her turn to soothe him.

  “Stop it,” he warned.

  She nuzzled his shoulder and lightly scratched his back. “Yoga, Jamal. It’s worth considering.”

  “I’m perfectly at ease with my anger,” Jamal grumbled, voice still rough. “I’ll tear his throat out. Scatter it across Canyon Park.”

  “How tempting.” She scratched a little lower. “Was that a purr?”

  “Hell no,” Jamal snapped.

  Despite herself, Terris smiled.

  “I know what you’re doing.”

  “What am I doing, Jamal?”

  “Distracting me. You’re always trying to distract me, take away my focus. I want his name.”

  Something in Jamal’s tone made Terris tense. “Whose name?”

  “Who do you think?”

  “Why do you want my ex’s name?”

  “Doesn’t matter why. What’s his name? Where does he live?”

  “No. Don’t even think about it. It’s in the past, Jamal. I’m fine. My colleagues and supervisors here were very understanding and supportive about my … personal issues. Some were even outraged on my behalf. I’m obviously still working for Moran Industries, so I haven’t been fired.”

  “Is the bastard still harassing you?” Jamal cut in.

  Terris shook her head. “My boss doesn’t take kindly to bullies. He’s also a rich and powerful man. Grayson got in touch with my ex and told him that if he ever contacted me or the people close to me again, he’d destroy him.”

  Jamal snorted, clearly unimpressed. “Paltry warning. He’s no Council agent. I will destroy him. Literally.”

  Terris believed him. Jamal made no empty boast. He wasn’t the type to puff his chest and bluster. His words held a dark and sinister vow.

  Then he frowned. “Wait. Grayson as in Grayson Moran?”

  “One and the same.”

  Jamal huffed, evidently remembering that his friend Agent Saba had approached Grayson to plead Jamal’s case. That had led Grayson to send Terris to Jamal to assess him for BioSynth.

  “I’ve heard of Moran,” said Jamal. “Sure, he knows people who know people. Meaning he gets others to do his dirty work for him. I prefer the direct approach.”

  Terris shot him a disapproving look. “I’d rather not have death by bludgeoning on my conscience, if you please. At any rate, Grayson’s ‘paltry warning’ worked. My ex has left me alone since.”

  “For now.”

  “It’s been a few years.”

  “I wouldn’t trust a lying, vengeful bastard like that no matter what length of time has passed.” Jamal’s glare was unforgiving.

  Then, out of nowhere, he ran his hand down his face and stifled a laugh.

  Terris turned a suspicious eye on him. “What’s so funny?”

  He shook his head. “No wonder Overkin was glaring at me so fiercely after I had my hands all over you. He was in Papa Bear mode. Wanted to stop another brute taking advantage of you.”

  Terris went pink. “He was among those in the department who received those messages, yes.”

  Jamal nuzzled her hair, his hold around her firm yet gentle. As if she were made out of spun glass. “You inspire the fiercest of loyalties.”

  “If you call me a princess again, I’ll kick you.”

  She felt him smirk into her hair.

  She also felt the increasingly insistent press of his erection. Without thinking, she rubbed up against him. Jamal let out a guttural groan and gripped her hip, holding her still.

  He inhaled. “You’re creaming for me.”

  Heat suffused every inch of Terris’s skin. Too late, she realized that her movements had dislodged the sheet on Jamal’s lap. The head of his cock poked out of hiding, bobbing jealously for attention.

  Terris gasped and started to reach for the sheet, but Jamal stayed her movements by pinning her arms to her sides. Even with a single working arm, he was incredibly st
rong.

  “Touch me,” he growled in demand.

  Helpless, Terris complied. It was like she was powerless under Jamal’s command, but then at the same time, by the way he tensed and seemed to hold his breath, she knew the power was hers as well. He loosened his hold just enough for her to reach for his very prominent erection.

  She grazed his shaft with soft, light fingers, eliciting a gratifying hiss from between Jamal’s teeth. Teasing him with barely-there caresses, not quite enfolding him fully, Terris let herself be guided by the way his breathing changed. She fondled his balls, conscious of his shallow breaths puffing hotly on her cheek, and scraped the edge of her nails along his cock.

  Jamal grunted, thrusting up with his hips. He snarled in frustration. “Harder.”

  Terris darted a glance at the closed door. He followed her gaze.

  “I’ll tell you if I hear anyone coming.” His voice was harsh, rasping. It grated and sparked over each and every one of her nerve endings, lifting the small hairs at the back of her neck. Terris jolted when he gave a demanding nip to her ear. “Harder.”

  She hid a small smile and grasped his satin-smooth length in her hand. His was a hard and impressive size. She could feel her mouth water in anticipation. Her thighs parted as she moved on his lap. She skimmed her free hand over his muscled abs and was rewarded with an involuntary ripple.

  Terris’s pulse thundered loud in her ears. Soft, panting rushes of air escaped her mouth and washed over his bare chest, raising goose bumps along his brown, silver-scarred skin. She pressed a kiss just above a flat nipple, right as she gave him a slow, luxurious pump.

  Jamal swore, low and desperate. The words were harsh and obscene and laced with fervent reverence.

  “Language,” Terris murmured in her primmest voice. She tightened her grip and quickened her rhythm, savoring Jamal’s groans. Relishing his rapid loss of control. Swirling her thumb over the head of his cock, she drew out more of the moisture already leaking from its slit.

  “I don’t know whether to thank or kill whichever male taught you this,” Jamal growled.

  Terris smiled. “More like let me practice on him until I got it right.”