by Maggie Walsh
Shay chuckled lightly and kissed Kia on the temple as he lay down next to him. “Okay, love. I’m tired myself, so let’s get some sleep, then we’ll deal with everything else after that.”
They each shifted into their animals, then Kia cuddled up against Shay, putting his head under Shay’s chin, and Shay threw a paw over his side. Shay tried to relax, but it took a little longer than usual. He kept thinking of their mate out there somewhere hurting and he wanted to find him. But Kia needed him more than Castiel, right now. Their big mate had others that had gone after him, but he was the only one here for Kia, and he knew what Kia needed after traveling. Shay closed his eyes and waited for sleep to claim him.
* * * *
“Man of mine? Gabriel?” Taylor asked as he sat on the edge of their bed. His mate had been standing at the window for the last hour, just staring out into the blackness. Gabriel hadn’t said one word since they returned to their room from Cass’s, and Taylor was starting to get scared.
After another five minutes, Gabriel still hadn’t acknowledged that Taylor had spoken, so he got up and went to his mate. Stopping just behind him, Taylor wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s waist, holding him close, and placed a soft kiss on his back between his shoulder blades, then laid his cheek against Gabriel. “Gabriel?” he whispered again, afraid of spooking his mate out of his thoughts.
Gabriel’s hands moved to the arms that were wrapped around him, and Gabriel stroked them gently. “I love when you say my name, sweet baby. When I hear it coming from your pretty lips, in your sexy voice, it sounds like a melody coming from a harp, and it fills my heart with love and happiness.”
Taylor was choked up from Gabriel’s sweet words. Not many got to see the real man his mate was. To most, Gabriel was a large, scary enforcer who walked around with a straight face and never smiled. To those who did know him, they knew because of his past he was just shy and afraid to make himself known. He preferred to blend into the background and observe. But since they claimed one another, Gabriel had come out of his shell so much in front of their family and closest friends. But when it was just them, Gabriel was the most romantic, tender man Taylor had ever met. He had a heart the size of the sun and he wore it on his sleeve. He was very sensitive.
“Then I will always call you Gabriel so that you will always have a full heart, feel my love, and be happy,” Taylor responded and kissed his back.
“You make me happy, mate,” Gabriel replied and squeezed Taylor’s arms to him. He wrapped his own arms around them and leaned back into Taylor’s embrace. “You always having my back, no matter what. You being honest with me, no matter what. And you loving me, no matter what. Gives my life purpose and makes me finally, for the first time in my life, feel wanted and loved. You bring so much joy and happiness to me every day, Taylor.”
Gabriel turned in Taylor’s arms and lifted his hand to cup his cheek. Gabriel’s eyes glistened with unshed tears and were filled with love and a little guilt. That confused Taylor, but he knew he needed to give Gabriel the time he needed to express what he was feeling. Gabriel was never heard when he was growing up and that is why he was so quiet and shy. He needed patience, and Taylor always gave him that.
“It’s because of you, sweet baby, that I have been able to heal and move on with my life,” Gabriel continued. “It is your love that has pulled me through. I didn’t know a lot of what I witnessed tonight, when it pertained to Cass, but it was nothing new to what I remember from growing up. I know how brutal my father and Michael were. I remember every hit, every lash of my father’s whip, and every cruel word they ever said. They were savage, barbaric, sadistic, merciless, cold-hearted monsters. And because of you, I got over that a long time ago. I learned that it wasn’t me, and I wasn’t unlovable, or not wanted. It was them. It was a flaw in them. You taught me what real love was and that what they did wasn’t love. I will never be able to repay you for all that you have given me, but I will love, respect, and honor you for eternity to give you back even a little of what you have already given me.
“I am over what they did. I have healed for me, and even for Raffy, and I thought for Cass, and I have moved on. What tonight’s journey did to me was make me see what a truly amazing person my brother is. I have always known how wonderful and special Cass is, but it was nothing compared to what I know now. He sacrificed himself for me so many times, and I never knew. He put himself in harm’s way and took their beatings so that they wouldn’t come after me as much. He…he let Michael do things to him, force him to do things, because of threats made against me. He did it to protect me! I’m the big brother and I should have protected him. I should have been there for him.” Gabriel’s voice hitched as he choked on a sob.
“Oh, man of mine, Cass knows how much you love him and that you would do anything for him. He knows you would give your life to protect him,” Taylor whispered, his heart clenching in his chest as tears ran from his eyes. He wrapped his arms around Gabriel and held him tight as Gabriel broke down. Gabriel’s tears soaked Taylor’s shirt, but he didn’t care. He cried right along with his mate, his tears running freely down his cheeks and into Gabriel’s hair. He cried for his mate and all his anguish. He cried for the little boy his mate once was that had suffered so much, and he cried for his brother-in-law who was just beginning his healing journey.
They stood there clinging to one another, as though if they let go they would fall apart and lose one another. After some time, Gabriel’s tears stopped, his body didn’t shake as much from the sobs, and he pulled back. Their swollen, red-rimmed eyes locked and Gabriel leaned down and kissed Taylor’s lips tenderly. “I love you so much, Taylor. Thank you for being you, sweet baby. Thank you for being my mate and for always being here for me. And thank you for loving me.”
“I will always love you, Gabriel. As much as I love our family and our life, I will walk away and give it all up in a heartbeat, so long as I still have you. You, Gabriel Angel, are the most important thing in my life and I am never, never, letting you go.” Taylor placed a hand on Gabe’s chest, over his heart. “This is mine to protect forever.”
He then placed his other hand on the back of Gabe’s neck and pulled him down, claiming his lips in a loving kiss.
* * * *
Those bastards had done enough damage to their family and Raffy wasn’t allowing them to do any more. No one, except Christian, knew the extent of his true powers, so they had no idea that he had focused all his attention on Kia’s mind while they were gone and was able to see everything that had happened through Kia’s eyes as if he were actually there with them. He had fought to remain calm and not react so the others wouldn’t know, but many times he just wanted to scream and cry at what he had seen. He pressed his powers harder into Kia’s mind to control his own reactions, and it had worked, not even Christian had known what he was doing.
Raffy had enough of their father, Michael, and Malachi’s evil hurting their family and he would not let it now destroy Cass’s mating. Cass deserved to have immense love, and with Shay and Kia, he would have that. They were both pure and good and would fill Cass’s heart with immeasurable joy. Cassy and Gabe meant more to Raffy than anyone else in the world, except for his Christian, of course, and he would make all of this right.
Raffy held his hand up to the door in front of him and concentrated. He heard the slight click and the door opened slowly. He stepped into the darkened room and walked to the bed. The three forms lay entangled lovingly under the thin sheet. Raffy smiled at seeing them, but the smile slid from his face with the thought of what he must do. Reaching out a hand, he touched Laylen’s shoulder. The Legion Warrior moaned softly, but remained asleep. Raffy’s gaze quickly went to Haven and Crew, and they too were still sound asleep. Raffy closed his eyes and concentrated. Suddenly a wave of power washed over him, and he knew it had worked.
Raffy opened his eyes and stepped back, releasing his hold on Laylen, and walked to the nearest wall. He held up his hand, placing his palm against the fl
at surface, and stumbled through. Blackness surrounded him, but he kept walking and a moment later, he found himself standing in a large city.
There were buildings of all shapes and sizes, some fifty stories high or more and others looked like any normal house on earth. Raffy slowly walked down the street as he looked around at his surroundings. There was no sun or moon and it looked like night. Lights were on all over the city, and people moved about, as motorcycles drove down the streets. Raffy stopped at a corner and looked up. There was a bright orange sign with white lettering that read Hopeless Lane, and another that read Forgotten Souls Path. He had no idea where to start looking but hoped he would find the answer once he arrived.
Raffy cautiously walked down the street, trying not to make eye contact with anyone he passed, but a few of the creatures stopped to stare at him. Raffy kept walking with his head down. There was pure evil of so many levels here in the Underworld and Raffy was starting to think that maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should have talked to Micah about this first, but Micah would have refused him. Not that Micah didn’t trust him or think he couldn’t handle it, but because he would have wanted Raffy safe. But he was tired of sitting at home while the others acted. He needed to man up and take a stand. Kia and Shay were right. Although he and Gabriel had started their path to healing, thanks to their mates’ love and support, they still had some work to do.
Cassy had just started his journey and would need them all. And Raffy would do anything for his brothers. Including this crazy idea to help Cass face his demons and move on.
A pretty woman approached him, looking at him as if he were a strange animal in a zoo. “What are you doing here, pure one? Geryon City is no place for you. You must go quickly before it is too late.”
“This is Geryon City? Wow, I had pictured it so differently in my mind. The truly evil souls go to Tartarus, right?” he asked the woman.
Her eyes went wide and filled with fear. “There is nothing in Tartarus that you need, pure one. You do not want to go there.”
“You’re right, I don’t. But I believe someone is there that I need to face. Can you show me the way?”
Her eyes filled with shock along with the fear that was still there and she shook her head. “I may be a demon, but even I am not that evil as to help you go there. Please, just go back to where you belong. Do not continue your quest,” she pleaded.
“But I really must. It is of the utmost importance,” he insisted.
“Then speak with the Legion or their commander and ask them to find this person for you, but don’t go there alone.”
“I can’t ask them or Phenex to help me because they would only try to stop me.”
“You know Commander Phenex? Then you know you should seek his help.”
“Thank you, but I can’t. This is something I really need to do. But thank you for your help and concern,” Raffy said and walked around her, leaving the stunned woman behind.
Raffy walked a few more blocks until he came to the edge of the city and was now facing a blackened wasteland, scattered with veins of orange that billowed smoke. He turned his head and looked right, then left, and a sign caught his attention. He moved to the large sign and read the directions. Asphodel Fields, The River Styx, The Phlegethon, Desolate Road, Naraka, and a whole list of other places, each with an arrow pointing in a direction. Toward the bottom, he found what he was looking for—Tartarus.
* * * *
Cass ran as fast as he could, trying to get away from the pain and the memories. Trying to get away from the shame that filled him. They never should have seen the things he had done with Michael in the name of saving Gabriel. As much as Michael kept telling them they weren’t brothers, he didn’t believe him. Michael lied all the time about everything and couldn’t be trusted. Cass had forgotten all about those years, but now they were back, the memories were flooding him, and Cass’s heart felt like it was about to shatter. Pain like he never knew before consumed him. He was surprised it didn’t kill him.
He ran so far, so fast, that he was now panting heavily and his legs and chest burned. He needed to stop. He needed to catch his breath, find somewhere to drink, and rest, then he could run again. Cass stopped and used his senses to see if there was water nearby. He heard a small trickle in the distance. He turned and made his way toward the sound, stopping only when he came upon the small creek.
Dropping his snout, he lapped at the cool water and took his fill. Lifting his head, he caught a scent on the wind and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to talk to anyone and he couldn’t face the man he knew was now standing behind him. The shame was too great and the look of disappointment he would see in those loving eyes was more than he could handle right now.
“I’m not going anywhere, Castiel, and I am not angry with you, or disappointed,” Uncle Raphael said.
Cass sighed heavily, resigning to the fact that he had to turn and face his uncle. He had no other choice now than to face his past. Cass slowly turned and found his uncle sitting on a fallen log. Standing about a hundred feet behind him was Christian. His best friend was still in wolf form, pacing back and forth while looking their way.
“Shift and sit, nephew,” Uncle Raphael ordered and patted the spot next to him.
Cass knew he couldn’t defy the man’s orders. Even though his uncle was no longer his alpha, or anyone’s alpha at this point, he was still an alpha, and his uncle, and deserved Castiel’s respect. He immediately shifted and went to the log.
“I have always been proud of you four boys. You, Gabriel, Raith, and Micah. Even when I wasn’t a part of your life, I was still proud of you. You and Gabriel are my blood and that will never change, nor will my love for you. Because of the way Lucius was with Michael, I had just assumed he was the same way with you boys. From the moment Michael came into his life, Lucius was the proud papa, showing off his son like he was the best child ever created. He did the same with both of you when you were little.
“As the years went by and the strife between Lucius and I grew, the less I saw of all of you. If I had any indication of what was happening in that house, I would have stormed in there immediately and taken you boys away. By the time I had become fully aware of some of what was happening, you both were grown men, so I had Micah and Raith start to train you in hopes you could fight back. But I had no idea of the damage that had been done to either of you, mentally, so no matter what we taught you, you wouldn’t be able to fight back. Lucius and Michael made sure of that by breaking you both down and using your love for one another against you. What you did for Gabriel―”
“Please, Uncle. I don’t…I can’t,” Cass pleaded as his head dropped and the tears came.
Raphael wrapped an arm around his shoulders and held Cass close, allowing him to break down, as he continued. “You don’t have to talk about it, but I want you to know you have no reason to be filled with shame. You did nothing wrong. You were brave, and loving, doing everything you thought you should to protect your brother, and I am very proud of you, son. Proud of the boy you were, and proud of the man you have become. I am the one who should be sitting here full of shame. I was your alpha, your uncle, and I let you and Gabriel suffer. What happened to you is as much my fault as it is your father and brother’s.”
Cass pulled back abruptly, his eyes red and swollen, with tears running down his face. “No, Uncle. You did nothing wrong. You would never do those things to us.”
“But my inaction is just as bad, Cass. I did nothing to get you away from there, so I am as much to blame.”
“You had no idea what they were doing, Uncle Raphael. I know, Gabe knows, that if you had, you would have come for us. You would have gotten us out of there. But Father would never let you find out what was happening. He did everything he had to do to make sure you never found out. He lied to you and to everyone else, and he used spells from Malachi to help him cover it all up. Then he threatened us to keep our mouths shut. I, we, don’t blame you for any of it. I should have been stronger. I
should have found a way to come to you. Lucius always kept us away from you, afraid that we would get too close. I know it was another one of his ways of controlling us. If we weren’t close to you or Micah then we wouldn’t feel like we could go to you with our problems. I’m just so grateful to you for sending Micah and Raith to us to train us and teach us how to fight and defend ourselves. Then you agreed with us leaving with them. You saved our lives, Uncle. I will always be grateful to you for that.”
“But there is so much more I should have done, Castiel. I knew your father was a loose cannon and I should have checked on you boys every week.”
“You had enough of your own stuff to deal with, Uncle. You lost your wife. You were raising your son all by yourself, plus you took Raith in under your wing, and you had a whole pack to run. By the time Gabe and I were born, Micah and Raith were already grown, but you still had the pack to worry about, and our pack wasn’t small. We had what, over seven thousand back then? Your pack was the largest in the United States because of the wonderful alpha that you are. You had wolves coming from all over asking to be a part of your pack. And Father used all of that to his advantage.”
“It doesn’t make me feel less guilty, son. What you said is all true, but I still should have been there for you both.”
“You hear stories all the time about families who are separated, Uncle. You and Father were never close and you weren’t a part of each other’s lives. There are siblings all over this world who aren’t a part of each other’s lives for so many reasons and they don’t know each other’s children. You did what you could when you found out certain things. You took action immediately and did what you thought was right with the information you had. You did nothing wrong, Uncle Raphael.”
“I’m supposed to be here making you feel better, son, not the other way around,” Papa Angel said with a small laugh as he wiped the tears from his eyes.
