Fifty Shades Nastier

by Lardyard Hampoon

  At the Spa desk, we got a big surprise. Unitarian had called and arranged for us to get “The Works.” We could have as many spa services as we could fit in. It was all paid for, including a generous tip. Mother was impressed.

  “Well, your boyfriend certainly takes good care of you. How did he know we were going to the spa?”

  “Who knows how Unit knows anything? Maybe he has spies. Maybe he had his personal assistant call every spa, restaurant and store in town. Like God, he works in mysterious ways.” I was trying not show the exasperation in my voice. Unit simply confounded me.

  “In that case, after our treatments, we’ll go shopping next door, then out to the best restaurant in town.”

  Mother and I spent several hours at the spa. I got a total body waxing – apparently that was the one “firm” service Unit insisted on. Mother and I both got a massage, facial, mani, pedi, and makeover. Mother also got a body wrap while I was being waxed.

  I had never been to a spa before. Except for the waxing, which was not in the least bit enjoyable (well, except when the technician was applying the wax to my most sensitive spots), the other services were oh-so-relaxing. I nearly had an orgasm when Bruce was giving me my massage. I hoped he wouldn’t notice the wet spot on the sheet when I was done.

  When Mom and I were finally finished, we didn’t look anything like ourselves.

  “Doesn’t it feel marvelous to primped, plucked and pampered?”

  “I guess. But, I’m afraid to move my face. Will I break the makeup if I smile?”

  “No, silly. Just don’t cry, rub your eyes, bite your lips, sneeze or touch your face.”

  “Can I roll my eyes? I’m pretty sure I roll my eyes a lot without knowing it.”

  “Yes. You do roll your eyes almost every time I open my mouth. But, while it hurts my feelings, it won’t hurt your makeup…stop it, Nasty!”

  “Stop what?”

  “Rolling your eyes.”

  And so it went. Mom and I popped to the boutique next door and got these ridiculous dresses she insisted upon. My cleavage was hanging out all over the place! Worse, so was hers! Middle aged cleavage is not a sight for the faint of heart. Middle aged sideboob is even worse. I’d have to ask Mom if she wore a bra when she was young. If she didn’t, I should maybe consider wearing one. Never too soon to start on a program to keep the tits perky.

  As we walked out of the store in our new outfits, I couldn’t help staring at my feet. My sexy new sandals showed off my pedicure. I never had polished toenails before. The bright pink polish, combined with my now hair-free toes, made me feel like I was looking at someone else’s feet on my body. The same with my hands. Then, I caught my reflection in the store window. Hell, I looked like someone else’s body on my brain!

  I couldn’t exactly walk in the high-heeled sandals. It was more like I was mincing. Mom was more adept, so she reached Six and the car well ahead of me. (It was easy to find, we just zeroed in on the snoring.)

  I heard Six snort awake and yell at my mother in alarm, “Hey, lady. You got the wrong car.”

  “It’s me, you fool.”

  “I don’t care who it is, I’m waiting for my wife. If she sees me with a hooker, I’m dead meat.”

  “What if she sees you with two hookers?” I couldn’t help teasing Six as I leaned in the driver’s window.

  “Oh, fuck! Leave now or I’m calling the cops!”

  “Honey, that’s Nasty.”

  “I’ll say it’s nasty. And I don’t want no part of it!”

  “Nasty, your stepdaughter!”

  I smiled down at Six as he began to realize the truth of the situation.

  “Christ, what happened to you two? Could they do all that while I was taking a nap?”

  “You old fool! We’ve been gone for hours. I guess you got enough sleep for the night, huh?” Mom snuggled up next to him and put her hand on his thigh.

  “There isn’t enough sleep in the world to give me the energy to keep up with you. Buckle your seatbelt.”

  “Don’t worry, sweetie. I’ll be easy on you tonight. Bruce took a lot out of me.” The twinkle in Mom’s eye made me wonder exactly what might have gone on in that massage.

  “Who’s Bruce?”

  “Our masseuse, I piped up from the back seat. I never had a massage before. I didn’t realize it would be so…intense. I think I’ll be sore tomorrow.”

  “I know I’ll be sore…” Mother said with a wry smile as she cocked her head. “Now, don’t head for home, we’re going out to dinner at The Naked Pheasant.”

  “Pheasant? Huh! And all this time I thought it was ‘Peasant.’ So that place is a restaurant? Now it all makes sense.”

  “I’ve been wanting to have dinner there for years.”

  “Ain’t it awful fancy? I don’t think they’ll let me in without a tie.”

  “We bought you a shirt, tie and jacket when we were shopping.”

  “Man, Naughty, how much is this day costing us?”

  “So far, not a cent. Nasty’s billionaire boyfriend has picked up the tab.”

  Now it was Six’s turn to be impressed. “Billionaire boyfriend, huh? So you did learn something in that college.”

  This time, I knew I was rolling my eyes. But, I was in the backseat, so no one could see me and get offended. What was the big deal about having a billionaire boyfriend? I couldn’t tell if it was the ‘billionaire’ or the ‘boyfriend’ that made everyone who knew me get so worked up.

  The Naked Pheasant wasn’t far. We found a secluded spot to park where Six could put on his new shirt without making a scene. He really did look quite nice when he was gussied up. And despite his “hick” persona, he pulled off genteel when he had to.

  “Three for dinner, please.” He smiled charmingly at the hostess.

  “Do you have a reservation?”

  “No. Will that be a problem?”

  “Yes, Mr….”

  “James. Arthur James.” He knew enough to pull out the “Arthur” rather than “Arty.”

  “Well, Mr. James, I’m afraid the dining room is fully booked for this evening.

  Mother pushed past me to the hostess station. “Perhaps you have a reservation for a Ms. Anastasia Lime …or a Mr. Unitarian Green?” Unit’s name dripped off her lips like liquid gold.

  “Oh, yes, of course. Party of four. Mr. Green is waiting for you in the bar. I’ll take you to him.”

  Mom and Six raised their eyebrows and looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head, indicating this was as much a surprise to me as it was to them.

  As we followed the hostess, I could see Unit up ahead. He had a presence that commanded attention. As if he were the king of whatever room he occupied. He looked startlingly handsome in his pale grey suit with green accents. The pants hanging off his hips in that way that made my insides squirm. If I died today, I prayed I’d be reincarnated as a pair of Unit’s pants.

  When my mother saw Unit, her outer sexpot ramped up a couple notches. I could see her start to smolder like a coal that needed but a gentle breeze to burst into flame.

  “Ms. Lime! I’m so glad you and your family could join me.” His eyes were mischievous as he took my hand and licked it.

  “Mom, Arthur, I’d like you to meet my stalker boyfriend, Mr. Unitarian Green. Unitarian, this is my mother, Natalie, and my stepfather, Arthur James.”

  My mother extended her hand to Unit. “Please, call me ‘Naughty.’ Everyone does eventually.” She delivered her signature line with a huskiness that was just plain embarrassing.

  “And I’m Arty.” Six gave Unit’s hand a manly shake.

  “I can see why my Nasty is so enthralled with you, Unitarian. You have such long, lovely fingers. You know, when Nasty was in high school, she’d make posters of men’s hands to hang in her bedroom. She’s always been a pushover for long fingers.” This was true, but I can’t believe my mother was saying it! In the back of my mind, I thought it might be an excuse for her to stroke Unit’s hand, which she wa
s doing. She had reached across him, so that her breasts were rubbing against Unit’s shoulder and she was stroking his far hand – as it rested on his thigh!

  “Has she now?” Unitarian cocked his head and gave me a wry smile. Crap! Double crap! Was I going to have to spend the entire night being embarrassed by my mother? It was going to be doubly bad since all I could think of was fucking Unitarian. I’d have to sit there and watch food going into that mouth that I should be going into. I’d have to watch him poke his fork into meat when he should be poking it into me. Oh, this was going to be torture.

  “What brings you to Miami?” At least Six was smart enough to try to deflect my mother’s rude conversational turns.

  “Actually, your stepdaughter. I found I could not take my mind off her. And if she was running to her mother for advice about me…well, I wanted to make sure you met me so your advice could be as relevant as possible.”

  If I wasn’t crimson before, I was sure I was by now. My flushes had flushes and then they had flushes. I wanted to crawl under the carpet and die. Or crawl under the table and suck Unit’s dick. Anything, but sit here fully clothed talking with Unit and my parents.

  “Well, now, Unitarian, I have no advice for my daughter at the moment, but I do have advice for you. Why don’t you take her off someplace where you two can talk without her rolling her eyes at her mother every five seconds?”

  “Then she would simply resort to rolling her eyes at me, I’m afraid.”

  I rolled my eyes at the two of them. “It probably would be a good idea if the two of us had a chance to talk. You can’t go buying me all these spa services and clothes and…everything…all the time.” My mother was digging her fingernails so deeply into my back that I thought I might need to scream from the pain.

  “Really. You two, go on. Have some fun. Talk some sense into this girl, Unitarian. I’ll have a nice, romantic evening with Arty, here. He thinks I look like a hooker thanks to you. I might as well take advantage of that illusion while I can.”

  Unit was taking no chances at losing this golden opportunity. He took me by my elbow and guided me off my seat.

  “If you insist. Naughty. Arty. It was a pleasure to meet you. Please, stay and have dinner. Everything has already been arranged.

  “Why, thank you, Unitarian. For everything. We’ve had the most marvelous day!”

  “You’re most welcome. I promise to get your daughter back to you safely. Enjoy your dinner.” At that, Unit signaled the server who had been standing sentry just a few feet from our table. As the server led my parents to the dining room, Unit swept me out a side door.

  “I’m staying at the Luxueux Hôtel Trop Cher at the corner. Perhaps we can dine en suite?”

  “I’d be just as happy to grab a bite in your room.”

  “Uh…perfect.”

  “Of you.”

  “Oh, Ms. Lime, you are so eager.”

  “Eager beaver.” I thrust my girly hole toward him.

  This makes Unit pick up the pace to the point where I have to brace myself against him. I can only mince so fast in the heels I am so unaccustomed to.

  “Nasty, I have a surprise for you in my room.”

  “You have a surprise for me in everything you do, Master Green.”

  I feel Unit’s erection against my thigh. That “Master Green” bit does the trick every time.

  “I agree with your stepfather. You do look like a hooker tonight.”

  “Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?”

  “Definitely a good thing. Most definitely.”

  “With that look in your eye, I can see that I’m going to have to charge you double, tonight, sir.”

  Unit whisks me off my feet and up into his arms without ever slowing pace. I’m not sure whether it’s to speed up our progress or to put his thumb up my butt, which he does.

  “Oh, Ms. Lime. At the very least, you’re going to have to charge me triple.”

  Chapter 11

  Unit’s room at the Luxueux Hôtel Trop Cher is amazing. It is huge and ornate. A handsome, finely carved four poster bed commands the sleeping area. The living area is full of leather couches, mahogany tables and high tech toys such as the humongous flat screen TV. I wonder if Michael Caine is in the next room, but I don’t ask.

  “Your surprise in on the balcony, Nasty. After you.” Unit signals me toward the balcony with those long, elegant fingers of his. I think he’s making even more effort to show them off since my mother’s embarrassing revelation.

  I walk toward the balcony. I can see that it overlooks the Atlantic Ocean. Of course. The ocean is rough tonight. The waves crash violently down against the gleaming white virgin sand. The sound of it makes my clitoris hitch. I flush. I don’t know if it’s because I’m worried Unit can read my thoughts, or my blood is racing around my body looking for my vagina.

  I step out onto the balcony and gasp in confusion. Draped sexily atop the lounge chair is a gorgeous blonde in the tiniest bikini I’ve ever seen. Or, at least, the tiniest bikini bottom I’ve ever seen. The nymph is topless. She props herself up on one elbow and squints at me in the last, fading golden rays of sun.

  “Hee-lo.” Her smile is playful, revealing dazzlingly white teeth.

  That voice is so familiar. Is this the woman from the plane? I blink, trying to focus on her face, but her huge, perky breasts make that task such an impossible effort.

  “Hi,” I mutter.

  “Svetlanka, why don’t you come inside and we’ll chat.” Unit doesn’t seem phased at all by the scanty thong on my “surprise.”

  We all step back into the hotel room. Svetlanka looks almost as confused as I feel.

  Unit clears his throat. “I believe you two know each other.”

  Svetlanka blinks at me. “Neeasty? Iy deedn’t reecogneeze you!”

  “That’s what an energetic spa team can do given a few hours.” I turn from Svetlanka and look querulously at Unit, who has taken a comfy seat several feet away.

  “Svetlanka is the last woman I, uh, freed. Before flying to Peru next week, she hoped to get acquainted with you. I understand you two hit it off well on your flight?”

  “Um…we had a very nice conversation.” I gulp, remembering that kiss. Does Unit know about it? I gulp again.

  “Well, perhaps the two of you can get to know each other better…without conversation.”

  Svetlanka wiggles out of her thong as she steps toward me and begins gently pulling my dress down from my shoulders. I tense.

  “It’s alright, Nasty. I approve of this little tete a tet. I think you’ll enjoy it as much as I.”

  “Will, um, you be joining us?” I wonder how that would work, sharing Unit. I don’t think I want to share him.

  “No. I’m just going to watch. Are you on board?”

  Svetlanka has her tongue in my ear and her hands are gently cupping my breasts.

  “Um, looks like we already set sail.”

  At first, I’m self conscious with Unit watching us. But soon, I am so overwhelmed by Svetlanka, I’m not even sure Unit is still in the room.

  Svetlanka’s body is so, so soft and warm. She fondles every part of me so carefully, so slowly. I follow her lead, though soon I am exploring her more aggressively than she is touching me. Her tongue is firm and probing. Her nipples grow hard and erect in my mouth. Her vagina seems to open to welcome my fingers, then swallows my fist in its slippery, wet embrace. Crap! I’m touching lady parts! I am so naught! My inner slut high-fives my inner dike.

  I kneel before Svetlanka to get a better angle and slide my fist ever so slowly up and down inside her throbbing love cave. My tongue attacks her clitoris and I hear her moan in ecstasy as she strokes my hair and whispers my name. At least, I think it’s my name. She may be saying “nyet.” I don’t care.

  I find my fist able to plunge deeper and deeper inside her with every stroke. The pulsating wet flesh against my wrist and arm sends tingles through my body. Is this what it’s like for Unit? Being inside a warm, we
t, comforting place that seems to grip you tightly and pull you deeper with every pulsating throb? I know my other hand is clenching Svetlanka’s butt cheek harder and harder with every slow, glorious stroke, but it is doing so without my overt control.

  It does not take long before Svetlanka’s intoxicating Love Canal convulses in one, huge clench that then explodes into dozens of quick ripples of pleasure that tug me deeper. After a few moments, ripples subside and my hand is released back to my own possession. I am almost surprised that my wrist isn’t broken.

  Svetelanka kneels down beside me, wrapping herself around me and pulling me to the floor as she murmurs her appreciation. We are naked and entwined so closely, I’m not sure where she ends and I begin. She bites my nipples, elongating them as they remain willing captives between her teeth. We writhe around for hours, filling each other, satisfying each other, covering each other in our vaginal secretions. Sliding, gliding, tasting, biting and teasing until our hands (and feet) are numb and our orafices begging sorely for relief. I hope Unit’s appreciating all this hard work I’m doing for him!

  Sometime in the middle of the night I am awakened by Svetlanka’s lashes butterfly kissing my cheek. We are in the four poster bed, carried there, no doubt, by Unit while we were unconscious with exhaustion.

  “Me-aster vants us t’ vatch moofie,” she whispers in my ear, then gives the lobe a long, hard lick.

  I follow her, naked, into the living area where Unit awaits us naked on the couch.

  Svetlanka cuddles up on Unit’s right side, so I take the left. He kisses us both on the nose and I am surprised that I don’t feel a pang a jealousy! I don’t at all mind Svetlanka receiving kisses from our Master. He flicks the remote and we begin watching…us! Unit somehow had my encounter with Svetlanka videotaped. And it is soo hot to watch us! My inner stripper begins dancing a tango with my inner slut as I see the effect our performance has on us.

  Unit is erect within seconds. Svetlanka jams her tongue in his ear as I begin stroking Unit’s hard hunk of manhood. He diddles me with his fingers as his mouth reaches for Svetlanka’s breast. Soon, we are a tangle of arms and legs, but our eyes keep returning to the screen. The effect of our real-time moans blending with the ones being broadcast is surreal.