Falling Stars

by J. L. Brooks

  I knew it was bad and it fucking hurt. The emergency kit had small packets of aspirin, but I wanted something much stronger. I doubted anyone would knock me for drinking so early in the morning considering the circumstances. Shaking away the dream, it was hard to look Grant in the eyes when they were regarding me with so much pity. More for his sake than mine, I bridged the gap between us and wrapped my arms around his waist. I could feel the relief wash over him as he held me tight against his chest. Nothing was said of the nightmare, it was over.

  “You hungry? The guys are down at the lodge. We need to pack up and get headed onto South Fork before it gets dark.”

  I nodded my head and nuzzled his collarbone affectionately. “I’m sorry.”

  “Shhhhh…” he hushed. “Whatever it is, it can’t hurt you. At least while you are with me. Got it?”

  “Got it.”

  I knew he meant it.

  After packing up what little I brought with me, Grant took the bags to his SUV to load everything up as I began a slow trek down to the lodge.

  “Get up here,” he said while bending down in front of me and patting his shoulders. I hopped on and yelled, “yeehaw” as he softly wrapped his fingers around the back of my legs.

  After entering the restaurant, the guys hollered and cheered at our arrival. Instantly all eyes landed on my leg and held expressions of horror and awe. “That is so gross and so bad ass at the same time. Welcome to the club!” said Mark between bites of bacon and scrambled eggs.

  “Um, thanks?”

  Sitting down I was handed a menu and asked what I wanted to drink. Without pause I ordered a double shot of bourbon and a coffee with cream. The guys smiled as I shrugged and decided what to eat. Grant rubbed my back affectionately as we told them about the ride. I felt as though they wanted to ask questions about the screams but Grant’s eyes warned not to, so they didn’t press. A giant map was laid out on the table as the guys were plotting the eight hundred mile plus trip to the Black Rock Desert and spoke excitedly of the festival. We would be traveling through Salt Lake City and across I-80 into Nevada. Stopping at South Fork State Recreation area, we would be camping by the lake and leaving again at dawn the next day.

  I couldn’t help but feel enthusiastic about the days ahead. Unable to remember the last time I was so spontaneous, a part of me feared I would be unable to go back to my hermetic life with deadlines and coffee rot. For the first time in months I had an appetite and could breathe. The glimpse was so precious it would always leave me wanting more. Looking at Grant it was hard to fathom saying good bye. Less than three days in my life and I had never felt so at ease. Even among his friends, my accompaniment on the journey was never second guessed. Life was good.

  Grant brought his SUV down to the lodge so I wouldn’t have to walk back and noted to the guys to rendezvous with us at an old resort on the beach called Saltair. Grant explained that there were originally three resorts long ago all sharing the same name. Wandering the property, he gave a brief history of the music hall.

  “The salt might sting your leg. It’s up to you if you go in the water or not. I hope you don’t mind we stopped.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Seriously? This is your trip. I am just along for the ride.”

  He smiled and kept walking with the camping chairs and cooler full of beer and sandwiches we grabbed along the way. The guys met up with us shortly after we had settled and were in the middle of playing a game of badminton. Grant had a football, soccer ball, horseshoe set and more stashed away in the back of his ride.

  “How does a kindergarten teacher drive a brand new Range Rover?” I asked.

  My question was honest but I could tell instantly it opened a conversation he wasn’t ready to have.

  “It was a gift,” he said dryly.

  Whistling low, I ran my finger along the side before pecking him on the lips.

  “You must have been a really good boy for Santa to leave that in your driveway.”

  He pursed his lips and flashed a devious grin.

  “I’m not always a good boy. Sometimes I like to do really naughty things. I am just so good at them, it doesn’t count against me.”

  I had to laugh. “That is the best response I think I have ever heard.”

  I left it alone after that and went back to letting him disclose what he chose to. I had my secrets, he obviously had his.

  Spending a few hours on the beach felt good, yet we had to get moving. Setting my laptop across a pillow, I worked furiously while Grant drove through the mountains. I had been working so hard that I knew I would be finished before we got there. It was bittersweet writing the end, but it had to happen. Closing the lid, I bawled for an hour as we neared South Fork. Grant did not mock or console me, understanding how difficult it must be to finish a story.

  “Are you happy it’s over?” he asked solemnly.

  I nodded and kissed the plastic case. “Yeah, actually I am. I didn’t think I could write that story. I fought it with everything I had in me. And now that it’s ended, I can actually breathe. I know it needs edits, and a few rewrites, but it’s done.”

  Smiling, he reached his hand over and stroked the side of my face.

  “So what happens next?”

  Looking out onto the highway, the sky seemed to open up to forever. As the trees passed by and the sun caressed my skin, I no longer cared about anything that once brought me so much pain and stress.

  “I honestly don’t know. I have an agent in Vegas to send the manuscript to. I used to work with him in New York. He reps musicians now, but I know he will help me broker it with a publishing house. He has the connections and he loves me. I plan on sending it to him when we get to the festival and have better internet access.”

  Grant shifted in his seat with a confused look on his face.

  “So you don’t know if someone will pick it up? And then what?”

  I looked out the window again and hoped that I wouldn’t have to walk down that road. It wouldn’t be terrible, just a near fatal blow to the ego.

  “I go back to Cleveland and teach.”

  He could sense the defeat in my voice. I hated sounding like teaching was a last resort when he so clearly loved the profession. There was nothing wrong with it. It just wasn’t what I loved. My writing was a gift. I knew that. To not use it felt like telling the sun not to shine or the heart not to keep beating. It was a natural part of my universe, which made the writer's block so devastating. In hindsight, I was thankful for the push that forced me to draw from the deepest parts of my soul.

  “You’re thinking too hard. Stop it. I can’t have you frazzled any longer.”

  Grant was humorously trying to keep me from checking out. I must have been staring out the window for too long. Arriving at the campground, Grant unloaded a small tent and the sleeping bags. Pulling the tags off of mine, I then fluffed it out and rolled it onto the tarp. Thankfully there was a shower house and toilet facility, but if I needed to go at night it required taking a flashlight and staying close to the tent. The other guys set up the other spaces and started a small bonfire. Alex and TJ had the cooler with hotdogs and bratwursts, as well as more beer.

  With a bandage on my leg I was able to wear pants and snuggle next to Grant. Throughout the evening the men told stories about going to college and the trouble they caused. I shared my own hijinks at Kent State while talking about Ohio sports. The debates became quickly heated when Mark revealed he was a die hard Michigan fan, although it was in good fun. A little further into the night, Grant excused us and led me to back to the tent. Before allowing me to sit, he unzipped the bags and made one large sleeping sack so we could snuggle.

  Being so close to him made it a little too convenient for my hands to roam. Running my fingers across his chest, I felt each contour of the hard muscle beneath my fingers. Snaking my hand under his shirt, the soft hairs brushed against my palm teasingly.

  “Take off your shirt.” Grant asked in a low voice. Obeying immediately, his hand beg
an to tug at my waist band.

  “Pants too.”

  As I shimmied my clothing off, he did the same in the tight confines of the makeshift sleeping bag.

  His kisses were fevered and urgent as his hands swept my body with the same frenzy. With his restraint weakened, he hungrily devoured every inch of skin within reach.

  “I want you now,” he growled.

  “Then take me,” I moaned breathlessly.

  His arm reached over to a backpack and removed a small box of condoms. He must have anticipated this moment as they appeared conveniently within reach. Laughing to myself, I was impressed he had been able to hold out this long with the opportunities he already had denied. Leaning up on his elbow, his free hand sheathed the rock hard cock that was ready to destroy me.

  I held my breath as he pressed into me, exhaling when he only pushed in the tip. Repeatedly he dipped his hips slightly, refusing to fully enter as the barbell stretched my entrance.

  “What’s wrong?” I questioned while attempting to pull him closer. He backed away from me and laughed.

  “Shhhhh… Give me a moment. You are going to feel a strange sensation, like zaps in your abdomen, or the need to pee. I am going to make you come really hard okay?”

  I did not doubt for a moment that he was right. I had long read and heard of the benefits of being with a pierced man, and I was soon to find out for myself. After a few moments the electricity radiated through my pelvis. It was almost painful and I nearly protested before I felt the nerves tingle with pleasure. My body struggled to take more of him in, panting hard the muscles clenching every time he danced in and out of my channel yet being denied.

  “That’s it baby. It’s coming.”

  I jerked beneath him quietly in a delicious release. Pulling down his shoulders, he slammed into me, stealing my breath away. The slow grind of his hips intensified how sensitive I was and brought me swiftly to another climax. He was going to kill me and he knew it. I stifled a moan against his shoulder while biting into the flesh.

  The sleeping bag quickly became claustrophobic and difficult to maneuver in. Flipping onto my stomach, I encouraged him to take me from behind. His hands stroked my ass and back over and over again before entering. Pressing deep, he paused and tilted my chin up to find his lips in the dark. Kissing me roughly, he continued to thrust harder and harder, delighting in my body.

  “Fuck, you feel so good. I knew you would. You are perfect.”

  His words forced a shiver coursing through my limbs. I wanted him to enjoy me, to use me however he wished. Meeting his drive, I was set on pleasing him, because he pleased me first. I reached my hands down between my legs, taking his swollen testicles into my palm and massaged gently. Within moments he came hard and savagely. Collapsing on my back, he gained his bearings and rolled off to the side, pulling me close.

  “Seriously, did that just happen? Because if so you are not allowed to leave me ever.”

  Caged in his arms, I refrained from shattering the bubble. I was leaving in a few days, I had no choice. I didn’t deserve the life he wanted to offer me. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I was unworthy of a love like his. Girls like me didn’t get guys like him. How he was single still baffled me. Pushing away the doubt and negative feelings, I pulled Grant close and kissed him hard. I could give him a few more days in the illusion. I had to.

  The air warmed significantly as we climbed across the mountainous terrain into the flats known as the Black Rock Desert. Resting my arm on the window ledge, my fingers danced against the wind as we listened to NPR and played along with the trivia shows.

  Waking up mid-coitus and being fucked properly put me in a desperately needed chipper frame of mind. I felt terrible for his friends having to listen to my failed attempts at muffling our noise through the tissue thin barrier. I was dying to be alone with one of them to know what they really thought. The quietest of the group seemed to find the most humor in the situation. Jarrett had said very little since my breakfast the first day. Although not rude, I often caught him smirking as if there was a joke I was not in on. Mark was the most vocal and likeliest of the group to spill it.

  Grant had a special surprise planned before we reached the final destination. Asking me to close my eyes, he tied a bandana around my head to ensure I couldn’t cheat and spoil the fun. He promised we were close, noticing I was growing restless and ready to stretch my legs. Stopping for a moment after turning onto a gravel road, I heard the distinct noise of chains running along a metal fence and a gate swing open. Wherever we were, was not public land, spiking my curiosity even more. The cavalcade joined us and was commenting on how incredible it was, whatever ‘it’ was. Unable to see, and still sore, Grant had me climb on his back once again and jogged to keep up with the others.

  “You better watch out, I am not light and it’s really hot out. You don’t need heat stroke.”

  Turning his head to hush me, I gently nipped his neck in return.

  He struggled to keep his grip on my legs as his palms sweat in the desert heat. A short while later he set me down.

  “Are you ready?” he whispered while loosening the blindfold. Swallowing hard, he had succeeded in building the anticipation.

  “Yes.”

  Adjusting my eyes in the bright light, my breath was stolen by the alien landscape. A large round outcropping of rust stained rocks was surrounded by vivid green.

  “Holy fuck, where are we?”

  I turned to Grant and smiled in wonder. Large plumes of water soared to the sky from the strange fountains. Unable to get very close, I walked the perimeter. Turning around I noticed that we were the only vehicles on the dirt road with a car parked at the imposing gate with spikes across the top. Cars were lined along the main road with spectators viewing from afar and taking pictures with telescopic lenses.

  Studying me with his gaze, Grant was taking pleasure in my reaction.

  “Fly Geyser. We are right on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. I donate money to a conservation group here and they have a good relationship with the property owner. A perk is getting to come here every year, even if it is only twenty minutes.”

  It was absolutely stunning and surreal. He went on to explain how it was created by drilling complications. The well had not been properly capped so it burst and hot water continued to spew minerals, adding several inches every year until it became what we were currently viewing.

  “You and your perks. I must say I quite enjoy the ones you have given me.”

  Leaning closer, I pressed my forehead against his chin.

  “How am I going to repay you for this?” I asked coyly.

  He leaned down and kissed the top of my nose before sliding his hand into mine.

  “I will think of something,” he said with a wink as we started to walk back. Between the heat and overwhelming joy bursting inside, I felt delirious. I wanted every day this happy, and he was making it more difficult to maintain what little control I had. He thanked the man at the gate with a handshake and a hug, indicating a fondness for one another. Hopping back in the SUV, he questioned my grin.

  “What’s that look for?”

  “Does everyone love you?”

  Rubbing my palm with his thumb, his other hand held the wheel as we tore out of the gate entry and onto the main road.

  “Not everyone, but I am working on that.”

  I snickered and shook my head.

  “You’re funny.”

  A short while later we pulled up to the massive festival entrance where tents, trailers and strange structures went on as far as the eye could see. I panicked as we stopped at a checkpoint realizing I didn’t have a ticket. Grant popped his glove compartment and removed a small envelope with a parking pass and two entry bracelets. My stomach sank realizing that he had an extra ticket the whole time. Whose shoes I was filling I was unsure and I certainly did not want to believe it was another woman. It couldn't be, it was a guy’s only excursion. Then again, who was I to make such a ju
dgment on someone? Wasn’t that exactly what I was doing, rebounding with a stranger to sedate my broken heart?

  Thankfully, loud music echoed across the dry, cracked ground as dust whirled in the hot breeze, giving me something else to focus on.

  “This is even crazier than the geyser!” I exclaimed.

  “This is nothing Lila. Wait until tonight, that’s when everything really comes alive. Right now only a fraction of the people have arrived. It’s about to get a whole lot more crowded.”

  I surveyed my surroundings in awe. Decadently costumed individuals walked around freely, as others were completely caked in mud to stay cool I presumed. Bicycles were flying through the aisles as everyone settled in. Cars were not allowed past a certain point and one of the guys unfolded an aluminum make shift traveling cart that used their bike wheels and loaded it with the heaviest items to take to camp. I was thoroughly impressed by the ingenuity used to craft it. The guys were definitely seasoned and moved efficiently.

  “Hey, we need to get set up now, it’s fucking hot. We will fry in this heat, especially princess over there.”

  Pointing at me with a chuckle I scowled at Alex’s reference as the other men laughed, including Grant.

  “Hey, I can hold my own!”

  “Mhmmm… Not upright on a bike as we all can see.”

  Stepping a little closer I smiled sweetly.

  “Let’s see how upright your dick will get in the future if you keep picking on me.”