Falling Stars

by J. L. Brooks

  Rather than answer me, his palms held the sides of my cheeks and brought me in for a kiss. He didn’t care who was watching or what they thought, therefore neither did I. Watching the flames flicker across his honey hued eyes, I felt the world fall away and knew all was well in that moment. Lifting me off of him to stand, he tugged my hand back in the direction of the cabins and murmured back.

  “Give me a chance and find out.”

  Feeling the butterflies dance erratically, I followed his lead until we reached my door. I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted him to lie against me and hold me as I fell asleep. Sensing my hesitancy he kissed my cheek and lingered near my ear.

  “I will see you in the morning beautiful,” he whispered.

  Turning before I did, he smiled brightly while heading back to his cabin. Slipping into the cold sheets of the king sized bed I patted the side and sighed. I couldn’t decide if meeting Grant was a blessing or a curse. Pondering the reality of traveling with him to Nevada, my mind raced thinking about what would happen. It was a chance of a lifetime. No matter what happened I couldn’t imagine myself considering the opportunity again. Thankful that a good portion of the book had been finished; if I were not driving I could hammer out the rest a lot quicker. Was I seriously entertaining the idea of taking a road trip with a stranger? Considering I would have let him fuck me in a river just a few hours earlier, the journey did not seem so outlandish.

  Doing the timetable in my head, I knew I could do it. I would end up having to skip Phoenix and head directly to Vegas. Jay and Lori would be disappointed I wasn’t able to see them, but there was a possibility I could work it out. My close friends had moved to an artist community and I had always wanted to visit them. I thought it would be a perfect place to write, but if I was finished with the book I could actually enjoy their company.

  Grant's comment about my mind consistently spinning was more on target than I think he realized. Even with all of the alcohol, my mind was still running wild. Practicing some relaxation exercises, I tried to ease the tension in my body. When that failed, I reached between my legs and found relief in the one thing I knew would work. Imagining Grant doing deliciously naughty things, I knew without a doubt he was the perfect distraction for my broken heart.

  That night I dreamed of Hunter and awoke in a cold sweat. The nightmare was always the same. Different details that would fool me just long enough before the horror that would come and never failed to rip through me.

  He was sitting in a roped off area of an elegant night club and I was standing at the edge unable to reach him. From across the space he stared venomously in my direction for daring to intrude on his territory. Grasping for the pass around my neck, I remembered that I gave it to his girlfriend, the one who was down on her knees, sucking his cock for everyone to see. When she turned around, she smiled and thick black liquid seeped from the corners of her mouth and down her chin. Hunter's hand stroked the top of her head as if she were a beloved dog. Then again, to men like him, that is how women were supposed to act, like good little bitches.

  Backing away from the scene, I tumbled into the arms of a stranger. I could not see his face as he caught me to keep me from hitting the ground. Threading his fingers through my hair, his other hand pressed against my shoulders bending me over at small table. My eyes never left Hunter’s, knowing he was about to watch this stranger take me from behind and he was helpless to stop it. I moaned loudly as the pleasure built up deep within. This time I would not be left unsatisfied. Feeling my climax grow, the stranger yanked back on my hair while driving into me like a piston.

  I screamed so loudly I tore myself from the dream. A few moments later, all of the guys were at my patio door, banging loudly for me to answer. Moving slowly out of the warm bed, I padded to the door so I could apologize. Grant burst into the small space sweeping me up immediately. Wild eyed and on high alert, his hands touched every part of my body looking for injury.

  “I’m okay. I’m sorry. I just had a nightmare. I didn’t realize I screamed.”

  Convinced I was not in any danger, the group left with the exception of Grant. His hands vibrated with adrenaline on my shoulders. Pulling away as if his palms suddenly burned, he ran his fingers through his hair and tapped a fist against the wall. Something inside was tearing him apart but I wasn’t sure why. I moved closer to him yet hesitated to touch him.

  “It was just a dream,” I whispered.

  Grant reached his hand out and ran his fingers along my cheek and into the hollow of my throat. A shiver coursed through my body from his gentle touch.

  “What on earth could possibly make you cry out like that?”

  I dropped my head to look at the ground. I wasn’t ready to share with him the reason I was so shattered.

  “It’s a long story. I can’t change it, so I am trying to erase it from my memory.”

  Knowing that only a man could be responsible for my anguish, he set out to assist me in my mission to abolish Hunter from my consciousness. Backing me into the counter, he perched me on the surface. Guiding me onto my back, his fingers slid along the edge of my yoga pants and tugged the waist down, along with my panties. Resting on my elbows, I watched in silence as he dragged his lips across my navel and hipbones. Looking up at me, his honey colored eyes flashed with fire.

  “I am going to make you scream again, understand?”

  My heart skipped a beat in response to his sudden dominance. I licked my lips and nodded in agreement. Wrapping an arm around my thigh, his hand skillfully spread me open to expose more of my tender flesh. I hissed the second his hot tongue hit the most sensitive part of my body. It felt as though he was painting a masterpiece between my legs with broad strokes. Frenzied licks were tempered with gentle bites. Slowly, two fingers dragged along the folds collecting wetness before sliding into me. Twisting his wrist, back and forth, the sensations quickly became mind blowing. Dropping my head back, I raised it briefly to find his gaze had remained fixed on mine. He wanted to watch me fall apart.

  Stopping to adjust my hips, he looked down with approval. His fingers continued to maneuver exquisitely in and out, driving me closer to the edge. Removing them to suck off the juices, he growled before returning to the divine torture. Without sympathy, he refused to stop until my thighs were squeezing the sides of his head as my body thrashed wildly on the tiled surface calling out his name.

  I lay there panting heavily as he stood over me with a smug grin.

  “Feel better?”

  Nodding appreciatively, I reached out my hand to stroke his arm.

  “You’re crazy, you know that?” I said tauntingly.

  Pulling me into a sitting position, I wrapped my legs around his waist and ran my fingers through the unruly waves framing his face. His eyes closed as I dragged my nails over his scalp and massaged his neck. Leaning into my shoulder, he was content to stand there as long as I would let him. Mumbling against my skin, he placed gentle kisses along my throat.

  “You are driving me crazy Lila.”

  Snickering as I rubbed my nose softly along the scruff on his neck, I inhaled deeply and savored his scent.

  “Maybe you were already there and I am just helping you to come to terms with it. Acceptance is the first step.”

  Grant bit my shoulder gently before letting his lips rest against the skin. I shivered at the playful gesture. I never knew why some guys were biters, but it surely was one of my weaknesses.

  “It’s going to be hell giving you up. I can tell already,” he growled.

  “No it won’t. The novelty always wears off. I guarantee you will be sick of my ass after traveling with me for a week.”

  His face beamed with enthusiasm.

  “So that means you’re going?”

  “I was pretty sure it was settled earlier tonight.”

  “Yeah, but you had time to think about it and change your mind.”

  Breathing out deeply, I had thought about it, repeatedly. It was crazy, and impulsive, which was exac
tly what I needed. I didn’t know Grant from the man at the grocery store, but I felt I could trust him for some reason. It was a recipe for adventure or disaster. Either way I would be a fool to pass it up. Perfect men just didn’t appear out of thin air. Knowing that my trials were far from over, I pulled the plug from reality and allowed myself to submerge deep in the fantasy.

  Grant forfeited his daily ride with the guys to travel with me into town to buy a few things I would need and the promised books. While picking them up, he opened one and happened to find one of my trademark scenes.

  “Holy shit Lila, this is hot.”

  I wagged my brows and snagged the book from his grip to hand to the cashier.

  “You can buy a copy if you want. I might sign it if you’re lucky.”

  He didn’t know I had grabbed a few extra just for him in the event he wanted them and was ecstatic he liked what he read so far.

  Since I had rented the car one way, we were able to schedule a drop off and he would carry the brand new mountain bike I purchased. I was unaware so many details were so important when getting fitted for a bike. My height and leg length was taken into account. I felt like I would stick out like a sore thumb with everything being brand new. After arriving back at the cabin, I took the helmet and rubbed it in mud and bashed it against a few rocks for character. He laughed hysterically as I did the same thing with the bike, minus the sabotage, as Grant assured me I could resell the bike later at a decent price.

  Taking me for my first ride, we headed up the trails and found the guys' bikes parked at the swimming hole. Shouting down, we decided to come back later. I was excited about my new gear, so we continued up a few miles before going off terrain and testing my memory abilities. The gravel was slipperier than anticipated and hesitating back fired against me. Hitting the brakes too quickly caused the wheel to lock up and spin off the smooth surface. I hit the ground hip and knee first, skidding a few inches and howling loudly.

  “Fuuuuucccccckkkkkkkkkk,” I shrilled

  In a laugh-cry mix I pouted like a child while trying to get myself upright with Grant's help. I could see the deep scratches along my thigh and knew it was going to hurt a whole lot worse later.

  “You’re going to bruise; we need to get that cleaned up and put some ice on it.”

  Grinning at his concern, I tried to brush it off as if it wasn’t searing with pain. Knowing that walking could take hours, I hopped back on the bike and started to pedal. Falling had actually helped me. I was not nearly as afraid of getting hurt. I moved faster and a bit more daringly across the trail. Grant followed behind with words of encouragement and remarks on how nice my ass looked in the tight shorts. Stopping by the swimming hole again, I tilted my head and asked if he wanted to go in.

  “Will you be okay climbing down the rocks? I’m just worried about you still.”

  I looked down and saw the smears of blood crusted on my knee and calf. Lifting up the shredded band on my thigh, I winced as the fabric dragged over the wound. It wasn’t pretty, but it would heal.

  “Yeah, let’s go.”

  We rested the bikes near the entrance to the alcove and carefully maneuvered over the large rocks. Grant stood at the bottom and held my waist to lower me the rest of the way. Biting his lip, he lifted off my shirt before undressing himself. Once again I was riveted by how breathtaking he looked bare. We laughed at the tan lines caused by hours under the sun in tech clothing. My shoulders were a bright pink compared to the pale color of my breasts. I couldn’t remember the last time I had spent so much time in nature. Writing about it and then actually doing it were obviously very different. I knew that from this point on, my descriptions were going to become even more vivid than what I attempted to draw from photographs.

  I soaked in everything. The way the silver crests of the waves rippled across the river. How cool the water felt at different depths in the pools. The rumbling of the river as it echoed off of the majestic red cliffs. Small lizards glided across the rocks as buzzards circled overhead. Grant explained that there must be a carcass nearby for them to be moving the way they did. When my eyes grew wide he followed up quickly with it was most likely a deer or rodent.

  Despite my blue lips and wrinkled fingers, I wasn’t ready to leave. Time was flying by faster than I wished. A week with Grant was going to change everything I knew about life and I wanted to savor every moment. He did not try to kiss me, nor make a move. I could see the thoughts were just below the surface, but he held back and enjoyed my company without feeling the need to touch me physically. His restraint caused me to crave him more.

  “What’s going on in that mind of yours Lila?”

  I smirked knowing he didn’t have to ask.

  “I’m just thinking about how funny life is. Almost two months ago I was in New York, feeling as though my life was falling apart, unable to write a single word. And now I am here and I can’t stop thinking of stories I want to tell. I’m still a mess, don’t get me wrong, but I actually see a light at the end of the tunnel.”

  Swimming over to me, Grant pulled me close and wrapped my legs around his hips as I sat on his knees. “Hopefully I have had a little to do with that,” he said between light kisses.

  I laced my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer. Resting my forehead against his, I closed my eyes and smiled.

  “In just two days you have made all the difference. You are showing me I can be happy again.”

  “You deserve to be happy Lila.”

  Curling my head into his neck, we floated in the water for several minutes before he started to walk towards the bank. In the middle of the pool Grant stopped and pulled his head back to look into my eyes. “Two months ago I was in the hospital unsure if I was going to live or die. You are showing me the light too.”

  My heart plummeted at the disclosure. I wanted to ask more but knew it was only fair if I divulged more myself. He did not press me so I chose to offer the same respect. Over the next week I had a feeling that we would be confessing more than we wanted to. Thinking about this marvelous human being not walking the earth brought forth a great sadness. His carpe diem attitude made a lot more sense. He wanted to live life to its fullest and have others do the same. Whatever happened to him must have been inconceivable to alter his outlook so drastically.

  We rode in silence the rest of the way back and stopped at the lodge to secure the bikes. Unsnapping the helmet, I laughed as my fingers brushed across the rough surface. “I don’t know why the hell I pretended when the real thing was bound to happen.”

  Grant's concern suddenly shifted to my leg.

  “I am surprised you aren’t limping with the hit you took. Your leg looks like hamburger, we really need to get some ointment on there and bandage it up. Take a shower and I will be back with the first aid kit." Heading alone into the cabin, I cringed when taking off my shorts. From the top of my hip bone to my outer knee was tapestry of black, blue and red, sprinkled with deep lacerations. The warm water stung once it collided with the wound. The cool water had numbed it and removed the dried blood but I risked infection if it was not properly disinfected.

  Lathering the river water out of my hair, I took extra care to tidy up and clean every inch of my skin thoroughly. When I exited the bathroom, Grant was already sitting at the table with a plethora of supplies laid out. Only wrapped in a towel, I walked over and moved a panel to expose my hip. He grimaced while lightly grazing the outer edges.

  “Fuck was right. It looks so much worse than it did earlier. Go lay down, this is going to take a while.”

  I grabbed a few rolls of gauze and tools he had set out, carrying them to the bedroom.

  “You can go shower too. I will lay down for a bit. It will be fine for a few minutes.”

  He set down the canvas bag full of supplies and leaned over me.

  “Are you sure? Don’t go anywhere. I will be right back okay?”

  I nodded and looked down at my body, laughing.

  “Don’t see that being a pr
oblem.”

  He was literally only gone for ten minutes before he rushed back in to play doctor. With the most sensitive touch he cleaned out the wound and bandaged me up with expertise.

  “You must get hurt a lot because you’re really good at this.”

  Puffing his chest with pride, he tossed the medical tape and scissors back in the bag.

  “Well I am the resident boo boo guru. Since I can’t kiss them and make them better, I have to make sure my skills are superior.”

  “You can kiss my boo boos if you want.”

  Crawling up to rest his head on the pillow, he pulled me close and snuggled against the back of my neck.

  “I will kiss more than your boo boo’s. But first I need a nap. Keeping up with you is exhausting.”

  I reached around to slap him playfully.

  “Shhhh… I like it. No need for violence.” He growled.

  Settling into the curve of his chest, I closed my eyes and drifted away. Unfortunately for as easy as it was to banish Hunter from my waking thoughts, there was still places he refused to leave.

  “You son of a bitch! How could you do this to me? I hate you!”

  Restrained by Grant's arms, I thrashed wildly out of the dream. Screaming like a banshee, he refused to let go until I was fully conscious. Struggling to rouse, I continued to fight my way out of the human cage while panting heavily.

  “Grant, I’m awake, let me go,” I growled.

  Hearing me say his name, the grip loosened and I was able to wiggle free. Angrily I stomped to the bathroom and slammed the door. I could hear his cell ringing repeatedly and vibrating on the night stand, which he finally answered with a curt greeting. Through the wooden barrier I was able to discern it was the guys checking on him.

  “Yeah, she’s fine. Another nightmare. I don’t know. Yeah. Yeah. No. Let me give her a bit, we will be down later.”

  Embarrassed I sat alone on the edge of the bath tub to collect my thoughts. What was supposed to be a just a nap turned into a full ten hours of sleep, only waking to use the bathroom and eat a quick snack. Looking down at my leg, the wound had seeped during the night and needed to be changed. Lifting off the medical tape, I hissed as the adhesive peeled away and revealed the nasty road rash and deep bruises. I knew it would only heal letting some air get to it, but I needed something for the pain. With the first aid kit in the other room, I was forced to hobble out to retrieve it. Grant immediately stood yet did not approach me, knowing I was still tense, he gave me space. His eyes traveled over my body where I only had worn a tee-shirt and panties to sleep. Instead of focusing on the lack of clothing, he zeroed in on my thigh and cringed.