Psyche Honor (Psyche Moon)

by Buhr, Chrissie

  You are the most precious thing in my life, She said.

  Ditto. I never thought I’d have what we have. I never dreamed it was possible, I told her as I played with her hair.

  Our mental bond is amazing. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, She replied thoughtfully. I always feel you with me, and it feels right. You’re always a thought away, and I’m never alone. Sex is more intense with you than I’ve ever experienced. You are the most amazing part of my life, and life as a Wolf is filled with wonders.

  Chapter 7

  Billie left shortly after sunrise to spend the morning in training with the Pup, kissing me goodbye in the kitchen. Still sipping my first cup of coffee, I mulled over my options. According to Kato, I first needed to invade Nathan’s mind, effectively announcing myself to his Mage. I didn’t know what I’d discover in a collared mind, but I would find out soon.

  According to Billie's thoughts, she planned on picking Nathan up from John and Phil's home. At the dojo she would begin his training in hand-to-hand combat. She wanted to familiarize him with his newly heightened strength and speed. In teaching him how to use it, she'd also teach him how to hold back and not hurt anyone.

  I'd never met Nathan, and I needed some kind of connection to reach into a mind. I could piggyback from one mind to the next, using a familiar mind to connect to an unknown one. Billie and the other Wolves knew Nathan, but they would sense my presence. Even Billie would feel it if I jumped through her mind to Nathan’s. Remembering the stories of how Mages collar a Wolf by planting suggestions over time, I realized how they did so undetected. The Mage must remove the memory of their presence each time.

  I didn't want to coerce anyone if I could help it, and particularly not my mate or my friends. Even the simple task of removing the memory of a piggyback disgusted me. Plus I would need to draw on the seductive aspect of my power to succeed. The risk of losing myself in that still scared me. I would do it if I had to, but only if I had no other choice.

  An idea came to me. This time I had another option. Finishing my coffee quickly, I dressed for a morning jog. By the time I'd finished stretching, I could sense Billie at her destination. Conveniently, the dojo Billie owned lay only a few miles northwest of her home. The jogging route to reach it took me through quiet neighborhoods. Nothing would appear out of the ordinary if someone saw me, and I didn't plan to be noticed anyway.

  I still hadn’t left the safety of home and friends since the attack. Training for the upcoming 10K had seemed unimportant for a while. If I wanted to do well in the race, I had to resume my training regimen. I’d use it as a way to accomplish the task Kato had set for me. Besides, jogging helped me decompress, and beginning the day with a brisk run had been my primary stress management technique for years. Taking several deep breaths, I stepped out the door.

  Brisk morning air washed over my skin and filled my lungs. The morning sun shone gently on my face, promising uncomfortable heat by afternoon. I missed this morning routine more than I’d realized. Tranquility eased my earlier trepidation as I ran along the side of the road. For the first couple of miles I simply enjoyed stretching my muscles and watching the world wake up around me.

  As I ran through peaceful North End neighborhoods, I automatically deflected the attention of anyone looking my way. They could see me of course, but they didn't notice me, like viewing something out of the corner of the eye. If asked later they might remember passing a jogger but wouldn't be able to give any details.

  An SUV pulling out of its driveway revealed a complication I hadn't considered. The driver saw me jump out of the way at the last minute, and both hands flew to her cheeks in horror. I waved and continued without looking back. Curious, I poked into her thoughts. She could only remember me as a shapeless figure with no distinctive characteristics and couldn't understand why she didn't see me. I grimaced and vowed to be more careful.

  I'd used this kind of disappearing trick before, but never to this extent. Despite the near trip to the Emergency Room, I congratulated myself at how well it worked. With a closer watch on vehicles, I continued on my way.

  The dojo lay a street north of the route I'd chosen, and I cautiously sensed the area as I neared it. I avoided Billie’s mind and the dojo entirely. Nothing felt out of the ordinary. Three blocks past, I turned north and began to circle back. Nervousness began to build in me, and I tamped it down. Strong emotions would draw Billie's attention, and getting caught would be disastrous.

  The dojo came into sight a few blocks away, and I slowed to a walk. Breathing heavily from the brisk run, I struggled to catch my breath. It appeared to be a small renovated church with a nearly empty parking lot and small yard. With a sigh of relief, I realized I'd come upon the back of the building. Boise's tendency to plant trees and bushes anywhere they fit worked in my favor, shielding me from direct view. I stopped, considering my options.

  Without knowing the layout, I'd had no way of planning ahead. Humans didn't pay much attention to sound or smell, and they usually ignored their instincts. Their attention could easily be diverted. A Wolf, on the other hand, had heightened senses and used all of them. I'd seen for myself how uncannily Billie noticed the most insignificant details in her surroundings - she impressed even other Wolves. Spying on Billie without getting caught was by far the most daunting challenge I’d ever faced. If I pull this off, I'm going to brag about it for the rest of my life. I told myself.

  A large window set in the south side of the building looked like the best option. I only needed a momentary line of sight. Glancing at the row of buildings across from the window, I chose an empty house for a lookout. The house to its rear, also empty, gave me a clean approach through the backyards. Luckily I encountered no dogs, and I reached a good spot unnoticed by anyone and without coming into view of the dojo.

  From my vantage point, I could see Billie's Jeep in the parking lot. A sign in the front yard read “BC School of Martial Arts” in unpretentious script. The window gave a direct but partial view into a room lined with mirrors and mats. I couldn’t see well from such a distance, but the room appeared empty. I wondered where Nathan and Billie could be. Moving closer would be reckless, so I waited.

  Before long a figure flew backwards through the air into sight, disappearing again as it fell to the floor. Startled by the aeronautical entrance, I leaned closer as if a few inches would improve my view. Billie, dressed in a gi, strutted into view and offered her hand to the person lying on the floor. A stocky man with short hair, also in a gi, grasped her hand, leaping easily to his feet.

  It had to be Nathan. Cautiously, I touched his surface thoughts and knew without a doubt I’d found him. As soon as I reached my mind out, Billie turned. Quickly I pulled back and ducked, hiding from my mate. She looked out the window intently, hunting for the observer. I didn’t watch, but I felt her searching gaze in my direction. Stomach clenching into knots, I waited. Finally I felt her attention shift away, but she wouldn’t let her guard down. I knew her too well to feel secure after that. I had what I needed with no further reason to stay. I'd touched Nathan's mind, so I could read him from anywhere. Backing away, I left the vicinity as quickly as I could without drawing attention.

  The jog back to Billie's home, thankfully uneventful, soothed my frazzled nerves. By the time I arrived, I felt much calmer. I knew not to read Nathan while in her presence. My best chance was during her drive home. After her reaction at the dojo, I didn’t even dare watch Billie’s movements to know when she left.

  Are you going to be home for lunch? I sent a playful image of a roasted pig complete with an apple in its mouth.

  If that's what we're having for lunch, I'm on my way, she chuckled, still a little on edge. I replied with a more accurate image of tall sandwiches and pickles. I'll be a little longer. Go ahead and eat without me.

  Are you sure? I countered with a third image, substituting the roast pig with an image of me naked on the table, the apple strategically placed.

  Now that's what I call a goo
d lunch! I could tell she laughed out loud at the image and wondered self-consciously what she'd say to Nathan about her sudden outburst. If I could, I'd run home to you right now. I'll see you soon, though.

  I smiled, enjoying our playful banter. It served a second purpose as well. I'd know the instant she headed home and would have a few minutes to read Nathan before she arrived. It worked exactly as planned.

  Is lunch ready? She purred after a while.

  That depends. Do you have any apples? I replied coyly.

  There's a tomato in the fridge. Will that do?

  Hmmm. It doesn't have the same effect. I'll make do without. Are you on your way?

  I'll be there in ten.

  Ten minutes gave me plenty of time to read Nathan. Withdrawing from Billie, I focused on the Pup, entering his mind easily. His surface thoughts swam with confusion over being Wolf. He relished the strength and speed that came with it but had difficulty with other new skills. Sounds and smells still overwhelmed him, and he found most of the other Wolves intimidating. He blatantly feared Billie.

  I sorted quickly through the superficial thoughts and penetrated deeper into his psyche. His deeper mind felt like someone had reached in and twisted the very threads of his beingness. Nathan was no longer Nathan. Even on the surface he bore little resemblance to the man he once was. I’d never felt anything like it. Completely compromised, he had no will of his own. Trapped within his mind, I could almost hear him screaming.

  I sensed the Mage behind it and felt the puppet strings between slave and owner. The Mage could feel my presence in her Wolf's mind, as I knew she would. She would come to me, exactly as Kato predicted.

  Wanting to know what she had planned for Nathan, I poked through the tangled cobwebs. He was a plant, a Trojan horse for the Pack. Her intentions became clear as I navigated the Wolf's mind - she wanted the entire Pack for herself with the Alpha and Beta as the biggest trophies. Bits and pieces of the elusive details came through, but Nathan didn’t have the details I needed.

  I had all I was going to get from him. Coming back to myself, I took a few deep breaths. I pitied the Wolf trapped within a mental cage. His agony pierced through me, and I vowed to do something about it when I could. Bile rose in my throat.

  I met a Mage. For the first time in my life, I met one of my people, my flesh and blood. The enormity of that realization hit me and the room spun. She could be my cousin or my sister or mother. No matter how much I wanted to ponder what that meant to me, I didn't have time. Billie would arrive in a few minutes, and I had to compose myself before she walked through the door. I could hide my mental tone with greater ease than my physical response. She'd see my distress the moment she saw me.

  Deep breaths. In. Out. Calm in. Panic out. Breathe. A brief interest in yoga during my youth proved useful. Miraculously I pulled myself together in time. When she opened the front door, I was putting the final touches on the sandwiches.

  “I see you found the tomato,” she grinned wickedly as she entered the kitchen, smelling the toppings on her sandwich. She looked gorgeously invigorated after her workout.

  “There's another one in the fridge,” I offered, sliding a plate towards her. We ate casually at the counter. As usual, she consumed enough to feed several Humans. She still had her guard up. “Are you okay? You seem on edge.”

  She shook her head, choosing her words carefully. “Someone was spying on me today.”

  My eyebrows pulled together, and I frowned in concern, deceiving her blatantly. “Do you know who? Or why?”

  “No. That's what bothers me.”

  “Strange,” I replied neutrally.

  “I didn't see, hear, or smell anything. I could feel them watching me, and it felt like they were hiding. People don’t hide unless they’re up to something.”

  I shook my head as if clueless. “Maybe you have a stalker.”

  “I hope it's that simple.” She let out a huff of air, noticeably calming as she exhaled. I admired her ability to relax instantaneously. “How did training go this morning?” she asked about my jog, changing the subject pointedly.

  “It was just what I needed. I can tell I took a week off, though. My butt's sore.”

  “I can help with that,” she suggested with a smile.

  “Twist my arm.”

  “I can do that too.” Her smile widened.

  “You're fun after you spar.” Impulsively, I threw a pickle at her face, which she caught easily. I watched it disappear into her mouth in dismay. “Hey, I was going to eat that.”

  Chapter 8

  Billie's phone pinged quietly, signaling receipt of a text message. Her mood darkened when she read it. “Elder Meeting, love,” she announced slowly, her eyes apologetic. “We always meet here. Can you take off for a bit?”

  She'd been enjoying a lazy Monday morning with Sadie and didn't want to end it precipitously. Dressed in a flattering suit, she’d dallied before leaving for Lorren Volstein & Marks, the law firm where she worked as a CPA. Ordinarily, Sadie would be headed to work too, but she'd called in sick again. The dark cloud that hovered over her had begun to lift, but she still jumped at noises and cried out in her sleep. Billie worried about her mate.

  The last couple of days showed tremendous change in Sadie, but a thread of doubt nagged at her. Something didn't feel real about Sadie's improvement, and Billie believed her mate was burying the trauma instead of recovering. Pack supported each other through difficult times. Instead her pack ostracized Sadie and kept secrets from her. She was more of an outsider than she’d ever been in the Human world. No wonder she felt new walls in her mate’s mind.

  Sadie smiled easily, but Billie noticed the brief darkness that clouded her eyes when she mentioned the Elders. “I'll head home for a while. Give Kathryn a hug for me. And Richard if he'll accept it.” Her smiled widened into a wicked grin. She screwed up her face and stuck her tongue out like a six-year-old. “Give Jason this.”

  Billie enjoyed the joke. “No promises on the last one. I'll give everyone your love, though. Can you give me some privacy during the meeting too? No matter what you sense from me?” She didn't want a repeat of the Elders' reaction in the last meeting.

  “Yes. I'll stay away until you give me the all clear,” Sadie promised wistfully.

  Billie wrapped her in a hug and planted a kiss on her nose. “I love you. I'm working on it.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with asking for privacy. I don't have a problem with that,” her mate replied softly. “It hurts that they distrust me for who I am and not what I've done.” Billie felt guilt behind her words. It broke her heart that her mate felt like she deserved ill treatment from the Wolves.

  “They'll come around. They have to.” With a final soft kiss on the lips, Sadie collected her purse and keys. Richard and Kathryn pulled up in their white hybrid as Sadie closed the front door behind her. Billie could hear Sadie's heart rate rise through the door. She listened closely, wondering how Richard would respond.

  Kathryn spoke first, genuinely happy to see her. “Hello, Sadie. My apologies for interrupting your morning.” Billie thought they embraced but couldn't be certain.

  “Good morning. No worries, Kathryn. I'm going to head home for a while.”

  “Thank you, dear. That's very gracious of you.” Billie could hear Richard let out a huff so light Sadie may not have heard it.

  “It's good to see you, Richard.” Sadie spoke hesitantly.

  Richard didn't respond, and after a moment Billie heard Kathryn's voice clear and critical. “Simple courtesy isn't beneath you, my love. She did save your best friend's life after all.”

  “It’s the only reason she's still alive.” Richard’s lilt appeared again. “Keep your nose out of our meeting.” Billie felt Sadie's heart drop at his statement. Kato entered through the doggie door in near silence. He listened to the exchange with rapt attention, red wolf ears forward. Billie gave him a sorrowful look. She wanted to rush to her mate's side. She wanted to grab Richard by the throat fo
r his veiled threat. What she wanted more was for the tension to ease and for Sadie to be able to stand on her own in the Pack. So she waited and listened with Kato sitting beside her.

  Sadie apologized. “I didn't mean to intrude last time. I already promised Billie I won't do it again.”

  “Make sure you don't,” Richard growled low.

  Sadie's voice strengthened a little, though her words were respectful. “Richard, I'm sorry for what happened to your first mate and your Pack. I really am. But I didn't do it, and I've never done anything like that to anyone. I never will. Don't blame me for someone else's actions.” Her voice began to waver. “I'd like to be friends again.”

  “You're a Mage. You can't change who you are.”

  “That's what I am, not who I am.”

  “What you are is the most evil creature on this Earth. When you show your true Mage colors, I'm going to enjoy killing you.” Billie heard Sadie's footsteps hurrying to her car without another word. Surprisingly she didn’t fear he’d attack her, but his words cut a painful wound in her heart. A quiet sob escaped her throat before the car door muffled further sounds.

  Billie could barely contain her anger. Only her certainty that Richard wouldn’t fulfill his threat kept her from flying out the door. When the couple walked inside and saw her expression, they stepped back automatically. Kathryn's eyes widened, while Richard's narrowed.

  “How dare you threaten my mate!” Billie roared as soon as the door closed behind them. Kathryn placed herself between the two Wolves, holding a hand out to each. Even her talent for calming a situation couldn't temper that one.

  “She is a Mage.”

  “Listen to yourself, Richard.” Kathryn spoke icily. “You can't even provide a proper reason for hating Sadie.”

  “I don't need any more reason than that.” He spat at his wife. “I don't want you anywhere near her.”