Lessons Learned

by Amy Lynn Steele

  “I only realized I was late a couple days ago,” I admitted. “I went to the pharmacy and got a pregnancy test thinking it would be negative. I was so shocked to see the lines turn blue that my mind just sort of shut down.” I shook my head a little, still trying to grasp the situation.

  Cooper’s fingers were still tracing shapes on my back, but he didn’t say anything. He seemed content to listen.

  “And I’m pretty sure I can never go back to the pharmacy on Hillcrest now. I went back and bought every test they had,” I laughed. So did Coop.

  “How are you feeling?” His tone asked so much more than his words did.

  I had to think for a moment to collect all of my feelings. “Frightened,” I answered honestly. “Nervous for so many reasons, but excited and really happy too.”

  A smile slowly spread over Cooper’s face and tears brimmed his eyes. “We’re going to be parents.”

  Heat spread from my heart and filled my soul. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

  We finished eating breakfast and took a long hot shower together. It was a wonderful way to spend our early morning. After we got dressed and went downstairs, Cooper handed me my phone. I cocked an eyebrow at him. Was he wanting me to call someone to reveal our big news?

  “Let’s make some doctor appointments,” he said cheerfully.

  Oh. That. Anxiety fluttered in my stomach as I took the phone in my hand. First, I called my cardiologist who just happened to have an opening today. Then I called my obstetrician, but they couldn’t see me for a couple more weeks.

  “Well, it makes me feel better that you’ll be seeing Doctor Gilchrist,” Cooper said and took my hand in his.

  “It makes me feel better knowing that you’ll be there with me,” I squeezed his hand.

  Coop kissed my head. “I’ll always be here for you.”

  We drove in semi-silence to the medical center, near the hospital in a medical community. Doctor Gilchrist’s office was across the street next to the building where I had taken Christina to her last OBGYN checkup before Joel was born. I had been in this office a couple dozen times over the past few years, but no other visit had made me this nervous. Worse case scenarios ran through my head as I sat and waited for my name to be called.

  “No matter what the doctor says, we will get through this together,” Cooper whispered in my ear as he put an arm around me.

  “Hey Ali,” said a soft voice from behind us.

  It was Nurse Laura Comstock, my dad’s girlfriend. I hadn’t seen her since my dad had told me about their relationship and for a moment I felt like it was going to be awkward. She smiled and I could see she was nervous too. Her light brown hair was shorter and pulled into the familiar ponytail. She took a step back and opened the door wider for us to enter. Before I walked past her, I impulsively flung my arms around her. She stood in shock for a moment before patting me on the back.

  “Hi Laura,” Cooper said and I felt my cheeks turn pink.

  “Hi Cooper,” she said when I released her. “You both are looking well. Married life suits you. And you’re just a couple weeks away from your first anniversary, aren’t you?” She led us to an exam room. “What brings you in today? Are you having any tightness in your chest or problems breathing?”

  This time it was Cooper who couldn’t hold the words in. “She’s pregnant!”

  For a stunned moment Laura didn’t blink. I shot a hard glance at Coop, but he wasn’t looking at me. Instead, he was gauging her reaction. Laura regained her self control and her eyes bounced back and forth between us.

  “Well,” she said, “How far along are you?”

  “I’m not sure,” I admitted.

  Laura smiled and her eyes twinkled. “Let me see here,” she tapped a few buttons on the computer in the room. “What was the first day of your last period?”

  Both her and Cooper are staring at me while I tried to remember. “I guess it was in May. Right before Christina had Joel,” my voice small and slightly frantic. How had I not noticed?

  “Okay,” Laura said looking at her screen. “According to this you’re about seven weeks pregnant and due in March.”

  Thank goodness I’m at my cardiologist’s office because I felt like my heart might stop. Hearing Laura say the words out loud had made it seem so much more real. She went about taking my blood pressure and asking a few more heart-related questions before leaving us in the exam room. A few minutes later Doctor Gilchrist came into the room. Her blonde hair was in a messy but cute bun on the top of her head. She wore black slacks and a pale pink blouse under her white lab coat. She looked like a cross between a Victoria’s Secret model and a college student, and I would’ve found her to be super intimidating if she weren’t so darn nice.

  “I heard that congratulations were in order?” She flashed a perfect white smile.

  Cooper fidgeted and looked at the ground. I held out my hand to him and after a moment he stood and took it. With a quick glance at his face, I knew he was scared. Scared for all of the same reasons I was scared. Would this baby kill me?

  “Thank you,” I said, my voice sounding robotic.

  She looked between the two of us. “You guys look like you’re either going to pass out or throw up,” she said cheerfully. “Let’s talk about the risks and put you at ease so you can enjoy the months ahead of you.”

  “Allison, your heart is in good condition,” she explained. “You are still considered a high risk, but for now you are in good shape. I’ll want to see you every month and immediately if you feel sick. Some risks that are common for other women won’t be common for you.”

  She went on to tell us that my blood flow would increase in my body, causing my heart to work overtime and that the rapid increase of blood vessels could put stress on the heart and lungs. She also informed us that my resting heart rate could increase by up to forty percent, so we would have to make sure my blood pressure didn’t get to high.

  “As for now, continue your daily activities as normal, but keep a lookout for any signs of problem,” she continued. “Toward the end of your pregnancy, you may have to be put on bed rest.”

  “So,” I began, “I might have a relatively normal pregnancy and delivery?”

  Doctor Gilchrist bit her bottom pink lip. “Well, I’ll need to talk with your OBGYN, but I’d recommend a cesarean section. The demands of a natural labor may cause too much strain on your heart.”

  “I can live with that,” I said as I squeezed Cooper’s hand. He hadn’t said anything since the Doctor came in, but I could see the relief on his face.

  “Thank you Doctor Gilchrist,” he said and smiled.

  “See you in a month,” she said before moving on to her next patient.

  Cooper wrapped his arms around me as soon as the door was closed. He buried his face in my hair and kissed my neck.

  “I love you,” he said into my skin.

  I held him tight. “I love you,” I had to whisper because my throat was thick with emotion. “Everything is going to be all right.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Cooper

  Allison and the baby were going to be okay. Everything would work out, it had too. We had come too far and had walked through too many fires not to have our happily ever after. I pushed Ali’s dark hair behind her shoulders and held her face in my hands. For a long moment, we stayed connected through our eyes. She is my world, my life.

  “I have your check out papers,” Laura said, suddenly coming into the room. “Oh,” she said, embarrassed at accidentally interrupting our tender moment.

  I kissed the tip of Ali’s nose and delighted in her cheeks turning pink. Laura held some papers out to us awkwardly.

  “Before you go you’ll need to set up an appointment for next month,” she said and we started to follow her out of the room. “And, congratulations you two.”

  At the nurse’s station there was a vase of red roses being held out by a delivery person. Laura stopped in her tracks and we almost ran into her. A head peaked out and
we quickly realized it wasn’t any regular flower delivery person carrying the blooms. It was Robert Starr.

  “I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I would,” his voice trailed and his eyes darted from Laura and landed on Ali.

  He squinted, confused at what he’s seeing. “Ali-Oops?”

  “Hi daddy,” she greeted him, her voice a little strained.

  His brows knit together in concern. “Is everything all right?”

  “Are those for me?” Laura asked trying to distract him. For a split second I thought it just might work as he handed over the vase.

  “Yes, they are,” his voice suspicious and his eyes narrowing.

  He didn’t look at Ali for an answer, he looked at me and then back at Laura. Ali’s brown eyes were as wide as saucers. Laura, now holding the roses, looked to both of us for direction on how to proceed. I took Allison’s hand in mine and squeezed. She looked up at me and I didn’t know if she was going to cry, laugh or be sick. I nodded my head once knowing what I needed to do.

  “Well sir,” my voice a bit shakier than I expected as I took a small step in front of Ali. “It looks like you are going to be a grandpa.”

  Robert’s light brown eyes widened as he looked at me, his head tilting to the side. For a moment the memory of the day he punched me in the face crossed through my mind. But the only thing that moved was his head, like he was trying to shake the words into meaning. Robert’s eyes closed for a moment before opening to reveal tears.

  “Oh, Ali-Oops,” his voice low.

  Ali now had tears streaming down her porcelain cheeks as she took a step toward him. Their embrace made my heart soft. I have come to understand that there isn’t anything quite like the bond between a father and his daughter. He was openly crying as he said something to Ali that only she could hear. She nodded her head and wiped her pink cheeks. Robert took a step toward me, not bothering to wipe the tears from his own face. He placed his strong hands on my shoulders and a smile spread over his mouth. Without a word, he pulled me into a tight hug.

  “Thank you son,” his voice thick with tears. “Thank you for giving my baby girl so much life.”

  His words stunned me. For a moment it was all I could do to hang onto him. Three years ago Ali’s heart had stopped and there was no way of knowing that we would make it here today. Not just her survival, but the fact that she would be healthy enough to have a child of her own. The gravity of the circumstances hit me hard while Robert had a hold of me. So, I joined my wife and father-in-law and had my own spout of tears in the hallway of the cardiologist’s office.

  I looked over Robert’s shoulder and my eyes connected with Ali’s. Crystal tears continued to run down her cheeks and her hands were covering her mouth. Laura put an arm around Ali, tears of her own clinging to her lashes.

  “Is everything all right out here?” Doctor Gilchrist stuck her head out of her office.

  Laughter bubbled up from all of us as we wiped our faces dry. “Yes Doctor,” Laura said quickly. “They just had the opportunity to share the good news with Mister Starr.”

  “Very well,” Doctor Gilchrist smiled and nodded. ”Congratulations again and remember to get plenty of rest.”

  “Yes Doctor.” Ali answered, the seriousness of the situation remembered.

  “Are you staying in town tonight or heading back home?” I asked Robert.

  He looked from Ali to Laura and his cheeks tinted a light rose. So that’s where Ali gets it from.

  “Well,” he mumbled, “I was…” his eyes still bouncing back and forth between the two women.

  “We’d love it if you both could come over for dinner tonight,” Ali interrupted her father’s silent battle.

  Laura took Robert by the hand, kissed it, and smiled. “We’d love to honey.”

  We said a few goodbyes, and headed to the car. The summer sun was already hot and the ocean breeze was doing nothing to cool us. I unlocked the door for Ali and pulled it open, blasting us with the hot air contained inside.

  “Coop? Book Girl?” Someone called. We both turned to see Sean waving at us from across the parking lot. A moment later Christina was next to him pushing Joel’s stroller. I could feel Ali tense at my side.

  “What are the odds?” She said under her breath.

  Our closest friends made their way to us and we could only stand frozen in place as the hot summer sun bore down on us.

  “What are you both doing here? Did you have an appointment? Is everything all right?” Christina’s voice was filled with concern.

  “Yes,” Ali answered mechanically. “Routine.”

  Christina tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow. Her green eyes scanned Allison’s body and they narrowed. She opened her mouth, but Sean cut in before she could fire another question.

  “Let’s all go get some lunch! When was the last time we were all off in the middle of a work week?” His eyes sparkled with excitement.

  Christina rolled her eyes. “Settle down boy,” her blond hair shaking as she laughed. “I was cleared for ‘activities’ by my doctor. Sean is a little worked up.”

  Ali grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Thanks, but my dad and his girlfriend are coming over for dinner tonight. Do you guys want to come too?”

  “If you are cooking, then yes,” Christina smiled.

  Sean looked a little disappointed. I thought he was probably hoping for a night where he could spend as much time in bed with his fiancé as possible.

  “How about five? Then you can get Joel home at a decent bedtime.”

  “We’ll be there,” she answered and pulled Ali into an unexpected hug. Suddenly she pulled back as if Ali has burned her.

  “What?” Ali’s voice bewildered.

  Christina’s critical eyes scanned her friend again. Then, they narrowed so tight I didn’t know if she could even see out from under her lids.

  “Oh. My. Gosh,” pronouncing every word. “You’re pregnant.” She wasn’t asking us, she was telling us.

  My mouth fell open as did Ali’s.

  “But,” is all I could manage to spit out.

  “When were you going to tell me?” Her voice accusing as her hands sprawled on her hips.

  Allison swallowed loudly. “Tonight,” she squeaked, her face a dark shade of red.

  Christina covered her face with her hands, but it did little to suppress the shriek she released. She pulled Ali back into an embrace, and soon they both were sobbing. Their voices rose to octaves that only women can decipher.

  “Congrats man,” Sean said patting me on the shoulder. “Fatherhood is a wild ride, but it is the best kind of wild in the world.”

  I smiled at my friend, my brother, and was amazed by the joy radiating off of him. We chatted a few more minutes with our closest friends, then said goodbye until dinner.

  Ali strapped her seat belt on, being cautious with her flat stomach.

  “I’m starving,” she announced as we pulled out of the parking lot.

  “What would you like babe? You can have anything you want.”

  “In and Out Burger,” she said without hesitation.

  I couldn’t help laughing at my wife. She snapped her head in my direction.

  “And I’m getting a Double Double, fries and vanilla shake.”

  I picked up her hand and brought it to my lips. This woman rocked my world and she was carrying our child. I glanced at her profile. Her other hand was lightly resting on her belly and a small smile could be seen on at her lips. We had created a life together. A life made from love. A life that would only know love. This baby was going to have a mother and a father who had fought against all odds to be together, to be a family.

  I brought Ali’s hand to my lips again, feeling elated and blessed beyond words.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Allison

  Our little kitchen was filled with laughter and people that I loved. At this moment, no one in the world could be happier than I was. It wasn’t possible. Cooper took a sip of his wine and kissed my c
heek. His hand still held mine under the table and was tracing circles on my wrist. Christina was telling Laura about her upcoming wedding and I didn’t miss the shift of Laura’s eyes to look at my dad. It was quick, but I caught it.

  “He’d have us eloping next week if he could,” she exclaimed.

  Sean shrugged unashamed. “Why should I wait to make the woman I love mine?”

  Christina’s face softened as she kissed Sean. “I love you,” she said quietly.

  “I love you too, Kitten.” They kissed again, chastely.

  My dad leaned and whispered something to Laura and her brown eyes widened. We had all been through hard times when it came to our relationships, but here we were. Happy and with people that made us that way. My dad picked up his wine glass and stood, while Laura pulled at his hand and silently plead for him to sit back down. My stomach felt like it was on a roller coaster. Part of my brain knew what my father was about to say, but the other part was in shock.

  “Today has been one of the greatest days of my life and it began when I found out that I’m going to be a grandpa,” he began and then pulled a reluctant Laura to her feet. “The only thing that could make this life of mine any sweeter is this woman right here.”

  “Robert,” Laura said quiet and urgently. He kissed the top of her head and smiled.

  “I asked Laura to marry me and she accepted.”

  The silence was brain shattering loud after my father announced his news. There was a buzzing in my ears while all the blood seemed to drain from my face. I wasn’t unhappy, just flabbergasted and stunned. My very happy father looked to me to say something. He wanted my approval.

  “Congratulations Mister Starr,” Christina said breaking the silence.

  My dad smiled, but never took his eyes from my face. I pushed a smile of my own into place and blinked a few times as tears burned at the back of my eyes. I released Cooper’s hand and made my way around the small table. Without a word, I pulled my dad into the tightest hug I could muster. His strong, familiar arms embraced me tighter than they ever had.