Back to the Drawing Board

by L. L. Collins

  My dad’s office door was open, it still being rather early. “Hey, Dad,” I said, forcing a smile on my face. He looked up from his computer and smiled back at me.

  “Hey, sweetie. Good morning. Everything okay?”

  “Great,” I lied, settling myself in the chair across from him. “I just had a question for you.”

  He sat back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of him. “You look tired, Jules. Are you sure you’re okay?” Of course he would choose today to notice personal things about me.

  “I’m fine, really. I wondered if you made a choice on the new intern yet.” I tried to ask him without much emotion in my voice, but when he leaned forward, a smile on his lips, I wasn’t sure I’d succeeded.

  “Why? Did you have some further input on one of them?” The way he said it made my mouth dry out and my heart start pounding. Did he know something about us? Did someone see us at the bar and tell him?

  My hands started shaking, so I tucked them under my legs to stop me from wringing them. “No,” I forced myself to say. “I’m going to start the Adams project within the next few weeks, though, and wanted to wait to work on it with whoever the new intern is going to be. That’s an epic project for them to start with. It’ll give them great experience. No rush. I can start it and they can catch up.”

  “You’re right,” he agreed, steepling his fingers. “That project is a great way for the new person to get their feet wet in our business and be able to see where I’d like to take things. It’s local, which means less travel, and it’s groundbreaking energy efficient technology. Can you hold off and start the process in two weeks? I’d like to have our new hire here by then as long as he’s able to get here that fast.”

  If it’s Carter, I’m sure he’d get on a plane today to be here, I thought. “Sure! I’ll make sure everything is in line to start then. Do you know who you’re choosing, or are you still going over their portfolios?”

  He shook his head. “No, I already know. You probably could guess who I’m going to hire.” I stared at my handsome father, his dark hair styled perfectly to the side and his eyes bright. Everyone called me his ‘mini-me’, and I guessed that was true. The only part of me that looked like my mother was my size.

  Satisfied that I’d taken long enough of a pause before jumping in with the suggestion that had been on my lips for two days, I took a deep breath. “Is it Carter McIntyre?”

  He slapped his hands on his desk, his booming voice making me jump. “That’s my girl!” he shouted. “I knew you had an eye in this business. You’re so young but so talented. Absolutely. That kid is the one, Jules. He’s the future me. I can feel it oozing out of his pores. He will live and breathe this job. Best of all, he’ll bring more innovation and ideas to the company than we already have. He’ll never settle for being second best.”

  My heart rattled against my ribs. He was going to do it. He was offering Carter the internship. Of course, this was just part one of him being the newest architect at GSJ, but it was a huge step. If Carter could prove himself in the next six months, he’d be a permanent fixture around here. I had no doubt he would.

  “That’s a great choice, Dad,” I forced myself not to jump up and hug him. “I figured when you had me come in to the interview he was the one you were serious about.”

  “He looked perfect on paper, but you know me. I have to get a feel for them in person. Since he’ll be working directly with you, I wanted you to at least meet him before I offer it to him. Do you think he’ll be a good addition to your team? Will you work well together?”

  A bubble of laughter came up into my throat, and I masked it with a cough. Would we work well together? Well, we may have already crossed that hurdle. Play it cool, Julia. If there was one thing I wasn’t, it was a good storyteller. “He seemed like a perfect fit here, Dad. I think that’s a great choice. Have you called him yet?”

  “No,” he said. “I didn’t want to seem too overeager.” He laughed. “No really, I just hadn’t had a second yet. I’ve got a crazy day today. I’m headed out of here in a few minutes for most of the day. Trying to land another huge project.”

  “Do you want me to call him?” I wanted to kick myself the second the words were out of my mouth. Did I want to hear Carter’s voice again? Yes. Did I know what to say? Absolutely not.

  “You don’t mind? Do you think that’s unprofessional of me not to call myself?”

  I shook my head. “No. I met him, too, so I think it’s fine if I’m the one who calls. I’ll explain why you aren’t calling if you think that’ll make it easier for him to understand.”

  “Great.” He stood up, grabbed his briefcase and slid his laptop computer into it. We did most everything on computers now; the days of drawing plans on paper were mostly gone. “Have Gabe call the rest of the intern candidates and give them a song and dance about how we are thankful they applied, but we went with someone else. You know, the easy letdown. You don’t think there’s any chance Carter won’t accept, do you?”

  “No. That man would be here tomorrow if you asked him to be.” He didn’t even seem fazed how I knew this, or why I would know more about Carter than he would.

  “Well, tell him he has two weeks to report, but if he wants to be here sooner, that’s great, too. Tell him I said welcome to the family and get ready to work.” With that, he kissed me briefly on the cheek and headed for the door. “Your mom has his personnel file. You can get his phone number from there.”

  I already have his phone number. Smiling to myself, I stood and followed him out of the office. I got to tell Carter McIntyre he was coming to work here. I just might be in a whole lot of trouble, too.

  I clicked my fingernails against my desktop, staring at my cell phone like I had been off and on for the last several hours. My first excuse to not call Carter had been that it was too early (even though he lived in Florida and was several hours ahead of us, so it wasn’t really a reason). Next, it had been that I had to get some emails answered. Then, it had been that I had a lunch meeting and didn’t have time. Now, I had no more excuses. My work was caught up. I needed to call him.

  My phone began vibrating on the desk, making me jump. It was Tracey. Well, now I had a reason to wait a few more minutes. “Hey, Trace.”

  “So? What’s the latest? You can’t keep me hanging.” How was it that this girl knew just when to call me to find out information?

  “He’s got the job. I was just about to talk myself into calling him when you saved me.”

  “What? You are calling him? Well hell girl, I’m hanging up right now.”

  “NO!” I shouted, immediately lowering my voice. “Don’t hang up, T. I’m scared to death.”

  “You’re being ridiculous,” she said. “You spent the night with the man. You were drunk off your ass. You may or may not had sex with him. Now you’re worried about calling him to offer him a job, the one he came there to get? Girl, you may just be certifiable.”

  I sighed. Okay, so she had a point. This wasn’t the way I normally acted. I was a headstrong, take no prisoners woman. “You’re right. I need to pull up my big girl panties and call him. I’m the one delivering news he wants. I have the power here.”

  “Oooh, there she is,” Tracey said. “Guys love to be bossed around, especially by a hot girl like you. You show that man who you are and what you can do, Julia Gibbons.”

  “Goodbye, you nut,” I laughed, disconnecting the call. Before I could lose nerve, I hit Carter’s number, my stomach constricting as I heard the ringing through the speaker. Just when I thought I was going to have to leave another message and wait for his return call, his rich voice boomed through the small speaker.

  “Hello?” I could hear noises in the background, and I found myself wondering about his family. He had alluded to the drama and crazy story that his family had, and that his parents were now together after being apart most of his life. I wanted to know more about him: his brothers and sister, the whole story behind his parents, what drove him to
where he was now, and what was going to encourage him to keep going once he moved across the country. “Julia?”

  Damn it, I had to stop daydreaming while on the phone. “Hi, Carter. It’s Julia. Is this a good time?”

  The background noise faded, and I figured Carter had moved away from his family to take the call. “Yes. Of course. How are you? Sorry we seem to be playing phone tag. I’m in Florida with my family and I’ve spent my days being buried in the sand by my brother and sister.” He laughed, then stopped. I wanted to ask him to keep laughing, that it was the greatest sound I’d ever heard. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, I’m sure you didn’t call to hear about me being at the beach.”

  “I’m glad you’re enjoying your family. I can’t wait to learn all about them.” I smacked myself in the forehead. Shut. Up. Julia. What is your problem? Keep it professional, remember? “I was calling for my father. He apologizes for not being able to call you himself, but he had some important meetings today and didn’t want to keep you waiting any longer.”

  I heard the sharp intake of breath on the other end of the phone. I knew how badly he wanted this. “It’s okay. I wasn’t expecting to hear from him until tomorrow anyway.”

  “I told him it would be best to let you know sooner rather than later.” I paused, and Carter didn’t say a word. I wondered if his stomach was in knots like mine. Who was I kidding? He was probably even more nervous. This was his dream. I already had the career. I just wanted the man.

  I cleared my throat, knowing I was probably killing his nerves. “We wanted to offer you the internship, Carter. You were by far the best candidate and my father wants nothing more than for you to join our team as soon as you can.” I took a breath, waiting for him to respond.

  I could hear his breathing, so I waited a moment for him to process what I’d said. “Are you serious?” His voice was small, whispered. “I got it?”

  “Yes,” I said, fighting the tears that were threatening behind my eyes. Why was I feeling choked up for him? “I’m calling to tell you congratulations. My dad—Mr. Gibbons—wants you here within two weeks, if that’s possible. We have a huge project we’re going to start then and we’d like you here for the beginning of it.”

  “Julia,” Carter said, making me close my eyes. That voice. I loved when he said my name. I wondered if he had said my name the other night. “Thank you so much. I can’t believe it. I’ve dreamed about this internship my entire college years. Now it’s mine. I’m shocked. Ever since I left there, I was psyching myself up to hear the letdown. Thank you for calling me. It’s a huge relief. If you would, let me know when your dad will be available so I can thank him personally as well. I’ll be there and ready to report in under a week. I’ve already got my eye on a few apartments near the office, and my family is leaving the beach in the next few days. I’m going to fly and have my car sent, so I’ll keep you updated on my date of arrival.” He paused. “Can I ask you a question?”

  I clenched my hand, my nails biting into my skin. Why did I have the feeling I wasn’t going to like this? “Of course.”

  “First, I wanted to apologize for the way I left things that morning.” He stopped, and I waited. “I was a jerk. I should’ve made sure you were okay. I’m so sorry I have to ask you this,” he said so softly I had to press the phone to my ear to hear him. “Did we, uh, sleep together that night?”

  I sucked in a sharp breath, tears pooling in my eyes. I knew we were going to have to deal with this, but I didn’t expect him to ask me this now. “Carter,” I said, trying to buy myself some time. “First of all, I get it. I know why you left and I don’t blame you. I should’ve never come back with you to your hotel room, and I shouldn’t have been drinking that much. It’s my fault, so please don’t apologize. As far as your other question, I don’t know. I’m sorry. I drank a lot that night. That’s not me, I want you to know that.”

  “I know it isn’t,” he answered. “I know we don’t know each other well, but what happened that night, the drinking and not remembering, that’s not me, either. I’m also not the kind of person that leaves a girl after spending the night with her, either. I’m sorry, Julia. I was terrified about what I’d just done, and even more petrified that I couldn’t remember. I never want you to think that of me. So neither of us can remember what happened that night.” He chuckled, and I swore I felt it all the way to my toes and back. “Okayyyy then. So, can we start over, Julia? I don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

  “I’d like that, Carter,” I answered. “I think we should try to forget that night ever happened. Well, at least the last part of the night. I did enjoy spending time with you and hanging out. You’re a great guy.”

  He cleared his throat. “Thank you. I think you’re right, that we should forget about it and move on. You’re kind of in charge of me now, and I think we should keep things as professional as possible.”

  I opened and closed my mouth. That wasn’t exactly what I meant by starting over. He wanted to be professional only. Well, I guess I didn’t blame him. But I didn’t want that at all. I wanted our fresh start to be that we figured out what this attraction was between us while we hadn’t been drinking too much. He’d been drinking away the stress of the job, and I’d been drinking away Johnny.

  “I may technically be ‘in charge’ of you,” I began, “but we will work together as partners. This project we’re going to start, the Adams project, is revolutionary, even for us. In fact, I’ll send you some information to your email so you can start reading up before you get here. That way you’ll be ready to hit the ground running.”

  “That sounds great,” Carter answered. “Thank you, Julia.”

  “Don’t thank me,” I said. “You did this yourself.”

  “No, thank you for not making what happened a big deal for me,” he said, his voice low. Ah, if only he knew. It was a huge deal to me. Just not the way he thought it was.

  “You took care of me,” I said. “I should’ve never been like that with you. You didn’t know me at all. If anything, I should be thanking you for not being turned off from our company because of my behavior, or going to my father and refusing to work with me. I promise that won’t happen again.”

  “Well, we’ve agreed then. There isn’t any reason for us to think badly of the other. It was a moment of weakness and no matter what happened, we’re moving forward.”

  Why did what he said make me want to cry? “I need to go, Carter. Look for an email from me soon with the Adams information, and keep me updated on your arrival.”

  “Thank you,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry, Julia. For all of it.”

  “Don’t be,” I answered. “I’ll talk to you soon.” With that, I disconnected the call and ran to the bathroom down the hall, barely making it in and leaning against the door before the tears streamed down my face. I hated myself for every single one of them.

  I’d left my phone on my desk, and when I’d finally made my way back to my office after trying to make it look like I hadn’t been crying, I saw that I’d missed another call from Tracey.

  Sighing, I clicked her number. It looked like I wasn’t going to get anything more done today anyway.

  “So, did you?” Tracey said as a greeting.

  “Did I what?”

  She groaned. “Did you sleep with him or not?”

  I’d already forgotten we’d been contemplating that before we hung up. “Neither of us remembers.”

  “What? He said that?”

  “Yes,” I admitted, feeling like a hooker. “We did have that awkward conversation. We don’t know if we had sex or not. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  “But he was excited about the job, right?”

  “Of course he was. And he apologized for leaving me that morning. I told him there was no reason to be sorry, that I appreciated him not making a big deal of this. I’m a moron, Trace! If he were a different kind of man, I’d be looking at a whole lot of trouble. I really dodged a bullet. I have to be more careful.”


  “That’s not like you, Jules, to drink like that. Is it Jo . . .”

  “I don’t want to talk about Johnny,” I interrupted. “I can’t do anything about it, so just drop it.”

  “So let’s assume that you slept together,” Tracey continued, thankfully dropping the Johnny subject.

  I groaned. “If I slept with that man, I hate myself even more for not remembering.”

  “He was in a hotel, and here only for a day. Right?”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Well,” Tracey said, “what’s the likelihood of him having protection with him or even used it if you were both in such a state that you can’t remember what happened?”

  Cold chills started at my head and followed a lightning path to my toes, making goose bumps break out all over me. My mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. Oh, my God. I hadn’t even thought of that.

  “Julia?”

  “Oh, God,” I cried, feeling the tears coming back. Damn it, I might as well call it a day. My stomach roiled, threatening to bring back the blueberry muffin and coffee I’d had earlier.

  “You may want to make an appointment with your doctor,” Tracey said. “Better safe than sorry, right?”

  There was no way in hell I wanted to have this conversation with Carter. God, I was so stupid.

  I STARED OUT THE SLIDING glass window of my new apartment at the mountains, in awe that I was really doing this. I was here. It had been a week since I’d heard those fateful words from Julia, and my life had been a whirlwind since. Saying goodbye to my family and life in Florida had been way harder than I’d thought it would be. After I got settled and into this new job, I wanted them to come out and see me. I’d even gone and had lunch with my ‘other’ dad, Ronan, before leaving. Of course he’d tried to give me money, of which I calmly but firmly declined. It wasn’t that I was too proud to ask for help; it was that every time he did something like that I felt like it was a smack in the face to my actual father. Blake didn’t have any issues helping me, and he and my mom had given me plenty to survive on out here. I was still angry with Ronan for so many things, though I tried to stuff it down for everyone’s sake. It just wasn’t worth losing my mind over it.