All That the Heart Desires

by June Moonbridge

  Coming downstairs and seeing him, I was not quite sure who was first to hold their breath. He was looking as dreamy as the day we first met. At the same time, I remembered the scene from the Grand Corniche where I actually almost forgot to breathe after I’d realised who was standing in front of me. We looked at each other.

  “Breathe!” said Anne-Marie.

  “Go,” she said and opened the front door. “I’ll lock up after you.”

  Lorcan escorted me to the car and after waving goodbye to Anne-Marie we were on our way to the Principality.

  Not only the next day, but for the next few weeks the newspapers and television news were full of Lorcan Shore’s story. He explained his reasons for leaving active racing during the ceremony in order to avoid further interrogation from the press. He conducted himself well, but not everyone was happy about it.

  The next story they blew up was that my finger was missing a ring. So many different reasons they found that in the end, I stopped being annoyed as pictures of my ‘naked’ hand appeared in the papers so many times it was actually ridiculous.

  As Christmas was approaching, and with it also the end of the year, Lorcan told me that for this year at least we were obliged to visit the Crest mansion and stay there for the holidays. It was a tradition and he didn’t want to change it immediately. I was not sure what to do as I still remembered the words from Ursula Crest to her husband.

  “Promise me, she will not be invited here anymore.”

  I was not ready to accept the invitation. Then Harry rang to tell us he was leaving for England again and that he would meet us at the Crest estate. So, the following day we were off to England again.

  Although Lorcan wanted to go by jet, I declined the possibility.

  “I can drive, you don’t have to,” I teased him. He realised soon I would have it my way or I would stay in Nice. He stopped insisting.

  Seeing the White Cliffs of Dover was something I could never get tired of. The end of December made the Channel more restless than usual and the ferry was rockier than we had expected. Despite this, I stood out on the deck as it was not raining, nor was it too windy. But it was cold, freezing cold.

  Standing on the ferry deck, I knew there was one more thing waiting for me in England that I still needed to do. I hadn’t visited my parents’ grave for several years and it was about time I did. I needed to tell them I’d failed to find their grandson and … before I realised, Lorcan was wiping the tears off my face.

  “What’s wrong?” he whispered. I didn’t answer. I turned around and went back in to buy myself another packet of cigarettes. I saw Lorcan’s surprised look, but he didn’t ask me any questions. He followed me back outside and stood by me in silence while I smoked that one cigarette.

  After I put the cigarette out, he turned me around to face him. He was watching me closely and when he hugged me, all I heard were his reassuring words.

  “Everything will be all right. I promise.”

  It was the day after Christmas and I was standing in front of a marble tombstone and reading the inscription in silence. Anne and Henry Dame both died in 1993. My parents. Coming back to the village near Rochester was not something I had planned to do so soon, but I had nowhere else to go. I needed to sort my thoughts and I needed peace to do it. Like Harry had told me, he’d finally managed to chase his ghosts away by visiting our parents’ grave, and I hoped for the same.

  Suddenly all the strength left my body and I collapsed on the grass. The events that made me visit my parents’ last resting place had happened a few hours ago. I was completely confused by them and so I had done what I knew best. I had run, and found myself in my home village.

  Christmas Eve had been wonderful and I felt welcomed by everyone, even by Ursula Crest. The house had not been as full as I expected, but actually nothing was. Seeing Anne-Marie there with my brother was probably the biggest surprise … or so I’d thought at the time. Their hands had been joined together when we entered the mansion and that told me everything and at that point no one was happier than me, except for them of course.

  As much as I thought all the surprises were behind me, I was wrong. Nothing, absolutely nothing, had prepared me for Boxing Day.

  After breakfast, Daniel gathered us in his library, as he wanted to share with us his and Ursula’s story. The tale of how they couldn’t have children and so had decided to adopt was warm and told with so much love that I knew the boy they had adopted felt every drop of that love. However, the end of the story was heart-breaking. They lost him due to advanced late diagnosed cancer. Even their wealth wasn’t able to save him.

  We sat in silence for a few minutes after Daniel finished sharing his story. Somehow, I managed to collect my thoughts and I blurted out,

  “But nevertheless he left you your grandchildren.”

  Both Daniel and Ursula looked at me in surprise and I felt Lorcan’s firm squeeze of my hand.

  Before anyone of them spoke, Harry joined us on the sofa.

  “We have a grandson, Desiree,” Ursula finally spoke. I looked at her. I was not sure what she was talking about.

  “I don’t understand.” I started and Daniel stopped me.

  “Andrew is not our grandson. He is the son of our gardener.”

  Ursula had grown pale. I looked from her to Daniel and back to her.

  “I thought they are twins.”

  Ursula shook head.

  “No, they are not. Daniel is our only grandchild.”

  The silence continued. No one spoke and then Ursula got up and took something from the desk behind the sofa she was sitting on. She came closer and offered me what she picked up.

  “We,” she looked at her husband “have something for you. Take it.”

  I looked at her and back to Daniel.

  “Take it Desiree. It’s yours,” he said.

  I froze when I saw what Ursula was offering me. It was a photo album. I recognised it immediately and took it from her. I turned around and looked at everyone in the room for some answers. My eyes stopped on Harry’s face.

  “What’s going on here?”

  His voice was calm.

  “Just listen and believe.”

  I got up from the couch, although Lorcan tried to stop me.

  “You people are completely insane,” Anne-Marie suddenly interrupted. Those words helped me see I was not the only one who couldn’t see through the bizarreness of the situation.

  “What is this game?” I needed a sane answer, yet I was denied an answer. “What kind of game are you playing with me?” I turned back to our hosts. Both looked at each other and then Ursula spoke again.

  “John’s passion had been languages and he had been fluent in several of them, including Spanish. During his stay in Spain, he took the Spanish version of his name. Do you remember Juan?”

  My eyes widened, but I stayed silent. I couldn’t remember sharing my story with them. I told Lorcan, but was sure he didn’t tell them about it.

  “Yes, Desiree, Juan was our son John.”

  “Oh my God,” was all I was able to say. Lorcan stood up and tried to hug me but I took a step away from him.

  I was still watching them all. Harry was something in between calmness and restlessness at the same time; as if he was happy that everything finally came to its end, but not sure about my reaction. Lorcan was standing only a step away from me. I didn’t let him get closer. Ursula sat back on the sofa, her face pale.

  I opened the album. On the first page was a picture that I carried in my heart. I didn’t know when or how, but suddenly I collapsed on the floor. I was unable to think. The tears I tried to hold back were running down my cheeks and all I could do was stare at that long lost photo. Unsure of how long we remained this way, something just broke inside me and I stood up and looked at the Crests angrily.

  “It’s not nice to play with me like this!”

  Before anyone could stop me I ran out of the library.

  In the hall, I saw Nana Shore holding Dani
el’s hand and coming down to the library. I stopped abruptly and tears filled my eyes again. If all what I had been told was true, here was my lost son and we were only a few feet apart!

  “Desiree, you are here!” Daniel’s face lit up when he saw me. He let go of Nana’s hand and ran over to me. I dropped the album and hugged him. Tears started to run down my face again. Looking up, I saw Nana Shore came to us. At that moment I tore myself apart from the boy and, before anyone could say anything, I saw Lorcan’s car keys on the tray. I didn’t think. I took them and ran out of the mansion. How many times had I run from this house? I’d stopped counting. Something in this place was preventing me from being really happy.

  Unlocking the car, I drove off from the property as if I was being followed by the devil himself.

  In the rear-view mirror, before I reached the main gate I saw them all running out through the front door: Lorcan, Daniel, Anne-Marie and Harry. But I turned the corner and they vanished from sight.

  Although my thoughts were far away from the village I was born in, somehow I found my way back. Only when I saw the graveyard gates did I know I’d come to the place I’d avoided for too long.

  “Miss, you’ll catch a cold, sitting like this on the cold grass.”

  I looked up and saw an elderly gentleman with a single flower in his hands.

  “I’ll be fine, thank you,” I answered.

  Before he said anything else, I heard the voice I loved.

  “Desiree?” I didn’t dare to turn around. I closed my eyes.

  “I won’t go away. I promise,” I felt Lorcan’s breath on my face. I opened my eyes and looked into his. He was kneeling in front of me, with the photo album in his hands.

  “Is it true? Is he…?”

  Lorcan put his fingers on my lips. He nodded.

  “Yes he is.” He looked behind me. When I turned around my eyes widened in surprise. Little Daniel stood only a few steps away, looking at me. When our eyes met, he wanted to come closer, but Lorcan stopped him by raising his hand.

  “I don’t understand,” I finally whispered.

  “Neither did I, until Daniel and Harry explained everything. Harry learned the truth from his private investigator on the day that you ran back to Paris. That was the real contract between them and your involvement in it. Getting you back to me was just a bonus.”

  “Did you know?” I wanted his reassurances he was not the part of the plot.

  “I had my suspicions, but had no evidence. The Crests will tell you everything if only you’ll let them.” I looked at him.

  “Desiree, why did you run away?” I finally heard little Daniel’s voice. “I thought you were glad to see me…”

  I wiped my eyes quickly and looked at him.

  “More than you know, sweetie,” I answered and looked at Lorcan.

  “Does he know?”

  “No not yet. He knows his mother is looking for him, but Daniel and Ursula want to tell him the truth in your presence. He loves you, you know that.”

  I didn’t know what to answer. As it was late, the afternoon sun was leaving the sky and darkness started to crawl over the land. It was getting colder but I didn’t feel a thing.

  “My love, I think it’s time for us to go,” Lorcan said.

  I looked at him and nodded. He helped me get back on my feet. I turned back to the gravestone.

  “Mum, Dad, I did it. I have found my son again.”

  Daniel came closer and took my hand. Looking at his face I felt my heart started to beat in its normal rhythm again. Lorcan offered me his hand and I took it too. I looked at him and smiled. Slowly we left the graveyard together.

  I knew I hadn’t crossed the finishing line yet, but I was sure that in time, we would finally be together as we should have been from the start.

  My heart’s desires were finally fulfilled and I was truly ready to eventually settle down and grab my future without any fear.

  The End

  Thank you if you have purchased ‘All That the Heart Desires’. We all know time is scarce, so I thank you for taking the time to read it.

  If you enjoyed it, please consider telling your friends or posting a short review. Word of mouth is an author’s best friend and it would be much appreciated.

  Thank you again.

  *****

  Although my editor chose to stay anonymous, I need to thank her for all her hard work, for all her valuable ideas and remarks. If by any chance you've found mistakes during your reading, I apologise. They are probably there because I didn't follow her instructions properly.

  About the Author

  June Moonbridge was born in June and she always loved the moon. She comes from Slovenia, a country which got its independence almost three decades ago.

  She studied economics, and quickly realised she hated it. Afterwards, she found herself working in a mainly male-dominated businesses; at first in automotive and later steel products. She can choose the best steel for your project, but don't, please don't, ask her which lipstick brand you should use.

  She started to write in high school and was criticised by her teacher. Stubborn as she is, that didn't stop her. Under different pen names, she had stories published in magazines, and then went on to publish three books.

  After having two children, and learning that her second child has autism, she married their father and carried on working. Work and family life left her with little free time. But the desire to write didn't die. When life somehow sorted itself out, she decided to write a novel in English and her first submissions were rejected…

  For what happened then, re-read the third paragraph, second sentence above...

  You can find her on:

  - Twitter: @JMoonbridge

  - Facebook: June Moonbridge, Author

  - Blog: Dreams under the Moonbridge (www.junemoonbridge.com)