by Lila Kane
Chet stops in front of our bench, and I see what Deb’s talking about. He’s got a black eye like he got punched, and a split lip—maybe from the same thing. He looks a little rough around the edges too.
My eyes widen. “You didn’t get mugged, did you?”
He shakes his head.
Deb crosses her legs and rolls her eyes. “He got in a fight most likely. Sounds just like you, Chet.”
Chet actually looks sheepish. “I did, but it’s not my fault. That’s why I’m here.”
“What?”
Chet puts his hands in his pockets. “I was minding my business last Friday and your—your fiancé shows up at my job and starts causing problems.”
“Michael?” I straighten, shock coursing through me. “Michael came to your work?”
Chet nods. “Ask anybody. They all saw him. He starts causing problems, telling me I don’t ever have a chance with you again, a whole lot of bullshit.”
“I don’t…” I glance at Deb. “He didn’t say anything about seeing you.”
And part of me doesn’t believe Chet. He’s lied to me before.
“Like I said,” Chet answers, “you can ask the rest of the guys. They were all there. So I tell Michael, let’s go outside so we don’t disrupt the whole place. Once we’re out the doors, he’s in my face telling me what a loser I am. Then he hits me.”
My mouth drops open. “No. He didn’t—”
“Seriously?” Chet asks, voice rising with emotion. “Does this look like an accident?” He points to his eye, then his lip. “He was out of control, Brianna. He’s dangerous.”
I swallow hard. Anger, fear, confusion—all of those emotions make a swift circuit through my body.
My hands—no my whole body—shakes when I stand. “I don’t know why Michael would go there. I…” I don’t know what to believe.
I trust Michael. More than I trust Chet. But if Chet has evidence, if other people saw Michael there, I have to believe him, right?
“Listen,” Chet says, “I’m not trying to ruin anything. I still care about you, and that’s why I came to talk. I don’t want to see you hurt. And if you stay with Michael, you’ll get hurt.”
Chet seems to realize he’s said enough. He starts to turn, and then angles back. “Just…think about it, okay? And if you need anything, you have my number.”
Once he’s gone, Deb stands as well. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I mumble, gathering my things. “I need…”
I need to talk to Michael. What Chet said rocked me, but Michael will have the rest of the answers. He’ll have a good explanation and it’ll fix everything.
I give Deb a hug and head to my car. I’m going to Michael’s office.
###
I try to keep calm when I reach the top floor, the elevator doors opening to release me into the lobby. After all, I don’t know the whole story.
Michael is in a meeting but he’s supposed to be finishing up any time because it’s the end of the lunch hour. I spent the entire morning working in his office and I had no idea what had gone on last week.
The anger returns, pulsing through my body, and I bypass Ms. Brown’s desk. She opens her mouth, probably to warn me Michael is still in his meeting, but when she sees my face she shuts it again.
I open the door and he glances up, jaw clenched. When Michael sees it’s me, part of his face relaxes, but I can’t read what’s behind his expression.
Derek is the only other one in the room, so I feel free to walk in.
“We’re almost finished up here,” Michael begins, but I cut him off.
“Did you see Chet last week?”
The way his face closes off so immediately, I know it’s true.
“Brianna, can we talk about this—”
“We’ll talk about it now,” I snap. “Did you see Chet last week or not?”
Michael glances at Derek, then gives a stiff nod. “I did.”
Disappointment floods through me. I thought maybe Michael would say Chet was lying or that maybe Chet came after him instead. Either way, he hadn’t told me the truth, and that hurts the most.
Derek stands, flattening his hand on his tie. “I think I’ll be going.”
“I just have one more question,” I say, ignoring Derek. I meet Michael’s eyes. “Did you touch him?”
“Brianna—”
“No. I want an answer. Did you put your hands on Chet?” I ask.
Michael releases a measured breath. “Yes, I did.”
I swivel on my heel and walk to the door.
“Brianna, wait.”
I keep going. I can’t deal with Michael right now. I can’t deal with liars.
That was the whole reason I’d stayed with him. Because I thought he’d be honest and open with me. Because I was a total fool and decided to trust again, when no one is worth trusting.
With Michael yelling after me, I step into the elevator and press the button. I made a mistake in trusting him. In trusting everyone.
I will never, ever make a mistake like that again.
28
I slap my hand on the elevator door to stop it from closing and hop inside with Brianna. Her eyes widen when she sees me, but then her faces closes off. She crosses her arms, but doesn’t say a word.
I press the button for the next floor down, where I know there’s an empty conference room.
“What are you doing?” she asks. “I need to go.”
“Go where?”
“Home.” She blinks, and I swear her lips tremble. “I mean, not home. I—”
“Just wait, okay? I’ll explain about Chet.”
“And about why you’re acting like such an ass this week? What?” she says, shaking her head. “Things got too serious for you?”
She’s talking about why I’ve been so quiet. And it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. Things did get serious, and I let them. I shouldn’t have because I didn’t want to hurt her. But I couldn’t help myself because I’d fallen for Brianna, too.
The elevator doors open and I reach for her.
“Don’t touch me,” she hisses, and walks out of the doors. “Where are the stairs? I’ll walk down.”
“Brianna—”
“No! I have nothing to say to you.”
“Will you just listen to me?” I ask, glancing around to make sure no one overhears us. The lobby is empty, as is most of the rest of the floor. Still, I really don’t want to do this here.
“What else is there to say? You’ve been keeping secrets from me, you hurt Chet, and you don’t have the same feelings as I do. I think I know enough.”
“Damn it, Brianna,” I snap. “Just listen.”
She points her finger at me, precariously close to my face. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that.”
I grit my teeth. “You’re making it hard.”
“I’m making it hard?”
She gives a choked laugh that almost breaks my heart, but something in this moment becomes clear to me. This is my way out. I can’t give Brianna kids—I’ve known for a while now that kids aren’t a possibility. After a sickness when I was younger, I don’t have that option anymore. I knew it wasn’t going to work out, and now’s my chance to let her go.
But damn it, I don’t want to. Not like this.
“I’m making it hard?” Brianna asks again. “I’ve been at your fucking office every day because you asked me to, I told you about my parents even though it was hard, and I told you I—I—”
She breaks off. She told me she’s falling in love with me. And it meant the world to me.
“Forget it,” she says. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“I didn’t hurt Chet,” I tell her. At the very least, I’m clearing that up.
“He says you went to his work—”
“I did. He’s been following you and me. I have proof. And I got sick of it. I went to tell him to stop or I’d get a restraining order.”
Her face reflect
s shock. “Then why didn’t you tell me this? I was open with you and you said you’d be open with me. Why did you lie?”
“I didn’t want you to have to deal with it.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t you think it’s my choice whether or not I have to deal with it? It’s my life.”
“Like hell. Once you signed that contract, it became my business. Your life became my life. That’s just how it works and you know it.”
“Then why didn’t you share that part of your life with me?” she asks.
“Because I told you. I didn’t want you to have to fucking deal with it, okay? Chet’s an ass and he needs to leave you alone.”
“So you beat him up?”
I cross my arms. “What the hell are you talking about? Did he tell you that? Fuck. He came to see you, didn’t he?”
She doesn’t answer, but I know it’s true. Damn it all. He probably went to her spouting off all sorts of lies to make me look bad.
So what? a voice in my head says. You can’t be together anyway. You can’t give her what she wants.
“He said you came to his work and beat him up,” Brianna says.
I give a harsh laugh. “Seriously? I grabbed his collar. That’s it. I told him if he doesn’t leave you alone, we’ll serve him with a restraining order. Then I left.”
“He—he had a black eye. And—and—”
“A black eye,” I scoff. “What—did he have one of his friends do it? What a douche. Of course you believe him, right?”
Her eyes flash with hurt. “What am I supposed to believe? You lied to me!”
“To protect you.”
“Then why are you treating me like this? Ever since last Friday you’ve been acting like I barely exist. Like you’re ready to break it off with me.”
My heart twists. This is it. This is where I do it. I tell her that I can’t be the person she needs. “Is that what you want?” I ask instead. “To break up?”
“I’ve already gotten out of one relationship with a liar. Someone who broke my heart. I don’t want to stay in another one.”
But even as she says it, her eyes overflow with tears. I take a step forward, ready to reach out and comfort her. But why? She’s not going to believe me. And even if we do stay together, I have no future with her.
“I was just trying to do what was best for you,” I say quietly. “To take care of you. But clearly I’m not the person you thought I was. And…I can’t give you what you want. Marriage, kids, a future. It’s not there for us.”
She swallows, one tear slipping out. “I never asked you for marriage or any of that.”
“You said you wanted kids.”
“So? That’s—that’s far away and—and not just about me. It’s about us—I mean, whoever I’m with. I….” Her voice trails off and she wipes her eyes, trying to compose herself. “You’re right, you’re not the person I thought you were. I…I can’t do this anymore.”
This time when she turns, I don’t try to stop her even though it rips my heart out. She doesn’t know the truth, but maybe it’s better this way.
I did lie to her about Chet. But that’s because she was so happy. It killed me to ruin it by bringing her past back into her life.
She gets onto the elevator and presses the button, then wraps her arms around herself as if to protect herself from the pain. My mouth was glued shut, but no—I can’t do this. I can’t just let her leave.
I jog toward the elevator, her name on my lips. “Brianna!”
But the doors shut. Shit. No, no, no. This isn’t what I want. I can’t do this to her or myself.
I jam my finger against the elevator button once, twice, three times. “Come on. Damn it!”
When another elevator opens up, I jump inside and press the button for the main lobby. The doors close, but they’re so slow. When another light comes up and the elevator stops halfway down to pick up someone else on separate floor, I curse.
“Fuck.” I press the lobby button again, ignoring the looks from the passenger.
By the time I reach the bottom floor, I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to tell her the truth. I’m going to lay it all out there.
And I’m going to tell I love her.
I practically sprint into the lobby. There are people walking everywhere, and I dodge them, searching for Brianna. For her honey blonde hair and her graceful walk. Where the hell is she?
When I don’t find her inside, I run outside, scanning the sidewalk and then the street.
I stop myself from calling out her name, but inside that’s all I feel like doing. Calling for her until I find her. Until I can fix this.
But she’s nowhere.
I turn in a circle, feeling lost. I had my chance at love with the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. And I fucked it up.
29
One week. That’s all I give myself to wallow. Deb said I should take as long as I needed, but I didn’t want to.
Chet had torn my heart out, but it had been the best thing that could have ever happened to me. So I figured I just needed to see the bright side of my break-up with Michael.
Too bad there doesn’t seem to be a bright side.
“Is that okay if I use your computer?” I ask Deb.
She glances over from the stove in her apartment, where she’s making a pot of spaghetti. “Sure.”
“I’ll get my own soon. I promise. It’s back to work this week.”
“Back to work?” She pours a glass of wine and slides it over to me. “You found a job?”
“I’m going to find one.” I’d stoop to going back to the coffee shop if I had to, just enough to get me back on my feet.
“Well, you can stay here as long as you need to,” Deb says. “I’m kind of liking the company.”
I’m liking it, too. I’d gotten used to living with someone. To having someone to come home to or to be there for when they came home. But still, she isn’t Michael.
I check my email, my heart leaping when I see one with a subject asking about my services. “Yes,” I say.
“What is it?” Deb asks.
“Maybe a web design job. I’m…” My voice trails off when I see who the email is from. Parson Enterprises. My heart squeezes with a mix of anger and pain.
Deb leans in. “What?”
“It’s nothing—a mistake,” I say.
“A mistake?”
I look up at her with a frown. “It’s from Michael.”
“Wait—what? Like…he wants you to make a new website for him or something?”
I delete the email without reading it. “I don’t know and I don’t care. What? He can’t get a hold of me through a regular email so he thinks he’ll try to trick me by getting me to work for him?”
“Maybe he really needs a website,” Deb says, stirring her spaghetti sauce.
“Yeah, right.”
“Well…you could just talk to him and see.”
I glare at her. “What? Are you on his side?”
Though I don’t have to ask. She is. After the fourth bouquet of flowers he’d sent, she’d told me maybe I should just hear him out. No way! I’d heard Chet out and look what that had done.
“I’m not on his side, I’m on yours. I’m just saying…the whole thing is unresolved and I know how much you care for him. And it seems like he’s trying to resolve things…” She shrugs. “I’m on your side.”
“Then let me handle this my way.”
“I am. I mean…” Deb smiles at me. “I will. Just…you know, talk to me if you need to. And maybe—maybe when you’re not so hurt…”
She doesn’t finish what she’s saying, but I know what she means. She wants me to give Michael another chance. I don’t know why. She was perfectly happy with me ditching Chet. So why does she care about Michael so much?
I mean, he lied to me. More than once. And he said we weren’t good for each other anyway, so why does it matter?
But now he keeps trying to get in touch with me. Calling my phone, calling De
b’s phone, sending gifts.
I narrow my eyes at Deb. “Have you talked to him?”
Deb turns around. “What?”
“Michael. Have you talked to him? Is that why you’re on his side?”
“I…okay. It was just this afternoon, and I promise I was going to tell you tonight. Over dinner—which is why I’m making you dinner, by the way. You know I don’t want to keep anything from you, so I wasn’t going to, but—”
“Deb!”
“Wait, Brianna—don’t be mad. He kept calling, okay? And then he said he had something to say about Chet and I—I had to listen.”
I frown at her. “So much for being on my side.”
“Brianna…”
I ignore her and grab for the stack of mail on the counter. There’s only one for me. My bank statement. Wonderful. Just another way to kick me when I’m down. I rip open the envelope, and then stare.
“Wait…” I murmur. “This isn’t right. It has to be a mistake…”
Deb looks at the total in my account and gasps. “Holy shit!”
The balance is over a million dollars.
“I need to call or…” Then I stop as it occurs to me. It’s not a mistake at all. Michael did this.
“What?” Deb asks.
“Did you know about this?”
“What? That you’re a closet millionaire? What’s going on?”
“It’s Michael,” I say, standing. “It has to be. He must have deposited the money in my account.”
Her eyes round. “I swear I didn’t know anything about this. You believe me, right?”
I swallow and nod. “Yes, I do. But…” I shake my head. “I need some air. I’m going for a short walk. I need to figure out what to do.”
Do I make the bank take the money back? How do they do that? Will they just give the money back to Michael? Is that how it works?
“Dinner should be ready when you get back,” Deb says. “And I’m sorry about talking with Michael. I just… you guys were good together.”
We were. I swallow down the hurt that brings me. Were. Not anymore because we’re not together anymore. And it was his choice just as much as mine.
I mean, he said he wasn’t right for me, so obviously he doesn’t want to be with me.
