Inhibitions

by Kimberly Bracco

  “Who says it has to be either or?” His smile broadens, a bit of sparkle returning to those gorgeous emerald eyes of his.

  “Good point, Mr. Garrison.” I lean in to kiss him in the middle of the dealership parking lot, showing him just how much I appreciate all his gifts.

  Chapter 26

  ASHLEY

  By the time my car is delivered Friday morning, Tanner has already left for this weekend’s game in San Diego, so he isn’t here to share in my excitement. I do text him when it arrives, telling him how excited I am to take her for a spin tonight. Quinn and I decide to go out for dinner instead of ordering in like we usually do just so I can drive her. We also take a bunch of pictures in it, including one of me on top of it to send to Tanner.

  “Pose all sexy like those bitches do at the car shows,” Quinn instructs, laughing as she demonstrates a pose that makes it look as though she’s humping my car’s hood.

  Shaking my head, I tell her, “You’ll have to settle for just a big smile. I’m not putting on a skimpy outfit. It’s only a few days before Halloween for Christ’s sake. It’s not that warm.” Sometimes I really do question her sanity.

  Friday night is the only night I leave my house during the weekend, deciding that it’s the perfect opportunity to relax and do absolutely nothing. I’ve been exhausted, and I have no idea why. I sleep in on Saturday morning and am in bed by ten Saturday night, which is unusual for me, but I chalk to it up to sympathy fatigue for Tanner.

  Sunday isn’t much different from Saturday, except that I manage to shower and get out of my pajamas. I put on my Garrison jersey and send Tanner a picture of me with it on to wish him good luck. It’s become a sort of ritual for us. The first time I’d worn it, he’d said his number had never looked better and that seeing me in it stirred up something crazy inside him.

  Quinn agrees to veg out and watch the game with me until she gets bored, which doesn’t take long at all. “Damn, these pants really are a perk to watching football,” she admits sometime during the second quarter.

  “I know. Have you seen Tanner’s ass in them?” I ask, keeping my eyes glued to the television screen.

  “Does Alex have a pair of those pants? If he doesn’t, maybe Superstar will let him borrow them for a night,” she muses, a wistful yet devious smile on her face.

  “What’s the deal with you two? You’ve been spending a lot of nights together.” It’s not like Quinn to get attached, and Alex is the male version of her, so I’m a little concerned, to say the least.

  “Nothing really. We get together every now and again and have a good time,” is her answer.

  “And?” I press for more details.

  “And what?”

  “Come on, Quinn. You act like I can’t tell when something’s up with you. Spill.”

  “Nothing is up with me. He’s cool to hang out with, and he gets the deal. Plus, he’s not around enough to get attached,” she explains, rolling her eyes and giving herself away. Eye rolling is Quinn’s signature deflection move when she doesn’t want to talk about something. I think she might actually like Alex.

  “Okay, if you say so,” I say, pretending that I believe her. I’m going to get to bottom of this thing that’s going on between them, though.

  “So what are you and Superstar doing for Halloween?” Quinn asks, clearly attempting to turn the conversation away from her non-thing with Alex.

  “I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it. Are you planning on doing something with Alex?”

  “Levitate is having a Halloween party. We all had such a great night last time we went that I thought maybe it would be fun. It’s a costume party,” she explains, looking genuinely excited.

  “When is it? You know the guys can’t go if it’s a Saturday night.”

  “I’m not an idiot, Sweets. It’s on Halloween night, which is Friday this year.”

  “I’m down, and I don’t think Tanner will have a problem going. Don’t expect us to be out late, though. Tanner has been pretty drained lately,” I say, partly as a reminder to myself. I’ve spent all weekend doing nothing and still can’t seem to escape the exhaustion I’m fighting. I can’t imagine how he does it. Just during today’s game, I’ve watched him take a whole bunch of hits that looked like they hurt, and he’s done a shitload of running too.

  “Aren’t you a cute little football wife now?” Quinn snickers.

  “Blow me, bitch. Someone needs to take care of that man, and that someone is me.”

  “Whatever! So what are you thinking for costumes?” Quinn asks before shoving a salsa-covered chip into her mouth.

  “No clue. What about you?” I steal the bag of chips from her.

  “I’m thinking Cleopatra and Mark Antony. I wouldn’t mind looking at Alex half-naked in a toga for the night,” she says, getting up to refill our wine glasses.

  “Woohoo!” I scream, momentarily forgetting our conversation because Tanner has just thrown a touchdown.

  “What the fuck are you yelling about?” Quinn asks, returning with two full glasses of wine.

  “Tanner just threw a touchdown.” I tap out a congratulatory text message to Tanner.

  “Oh…” She sits down, seeming completely disinterested. “So you need to think about costumes.”

  “I will when Tanner gets home. We’ll talk about it.”

  “Ugh, you’re like a boring married couple,” she says, rolling her eyes and making a face.

  After the game, Tanner calls me to thank me for all my game-time texts. “I have a surprise for you for next weekend,” he says, his voice full of excitement.

  “Well, I got a car this weekend, so that’s going to be hard to top.”

  “How about coming to see me play live in one of the suites?”

  “Really?” I squeal like a little girl. “I’ve been wondering if you were ever going to invite me to a game. I was starting to think you were embarrassed to be seen with me,” I tease, careful to keep my voice light so he knows I’m only kidding. I still feel bad about that stupid perk comment I made at the car dealership, so I’m erring on the side of caution.

  “Honestly, I didn’t think that you wanted to come. You’ve never mentioned it before. My parents keep asking when they will get to meet you though, so I figure this might be a nice way to ease you into the experience that is my mother. You can bring Quinn too.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. She barely makes it through the games on TV, but I’ll ask her. I’m sure she’d come just to see Alex.” I tell him of my suspicions about the two of them.

  “They’re two peas in a pod, Ash,” he says. “Let’s just leave them be. We don’t want to spook them by pointing out they’re dangerously close to being a couple.”

  “Quinn wants us to come with them to a Halloween costume party at Levitate on Friday. I told her I’d have to check with you. I wasn’t sure if you’d be up to it.”

  “Sure, that’s fine. I can’t pull a super late night, but I don’t mind. But I gotta run for now, baby. We’re about the board the plane. I’ll text you when I get home. Sweet dreams.”

  True to his word, I have a text from him when I wake up the next morning that he made it home safely. He says he misses me but will see me later tonight.

  The drive to Tanner’s house flies by in my new car, and I smell food the minute I open the front door.

  “You sure know how to spoil a girl,” I say as I make my way to the kitchen and find him cooking me dinner again. “I could really get used to this treatment, Superstar.”

  “You should get used to it, baby.” He flashes me a smile that lights up the room before kissing me as though I’m the very air he breathes. Sometimes I forget that kissing is one of this man’s fortes. His lips are warm and soft, with a strong yet tender force behind them. He wipes my mind clean with his kisses.

  “Mmm, what did I do to deserve that?” I ask after gathering my wits.

  “Nothing but being yourself. I missed you.”

  “I missed you
too, but I got to see those awesome pants on you again, so that helped hold me over.”

  “And I got those pictures of your beautiful face while you enjoyed your new car,” he reasons, smiling.

  We decide to keep the rest of the weekend as low key as I’d started it off. I tell Tanner all about my sympathy exhaustion for him, and he laughs at me.

  “We’ll just relax and watch some TV for the night then,” he says, soothing me.

  And that’s what we do. We lie in bed, and I attach myself to him with every limb possible. My head rests on his chest, my legs are entwined with his, and my arm drapes over his beautiful midsection.

  “I think this is by far my favorite place to be in the entire world.” I sigh into the crook of his neck.

  “Yeah? That’s good, because I really enjoy that you fit me perfectly.” He grins before planting another passionate kiss on me.

  One kiss turn into another, and before I know it, Tanner is sliding into me as though he belongs no place else. He never takes his eyes off mine. Thrust after thrust, he stares into my eyes with an adoration that I’ve never seen before. I feel as though he’s trying to convey something important to me, but no words are spoken. He’s speaking with every kiss, with every touch, with every moan of ecstasy that leaves his mouth.

  Slow and sensual isn’t our usual style, but I have to say it’s just as amazing. I feel the reverence that he has for my body in every caress, and his worship takes me to new heights. I feel my orgasm beginning to build all the way down in my toes before it rises up through my entire body. My skin tingles, and my body shakes until I have no control over anything.

  Tanner never misses a beat. He continues to pull himself out almost completely and push his whole length back inside me with each thrust, igniting every molecule in me as he does, over and over, until I can’t take anymore. The dam holding everything in breaks, and the waves of pleasure come crashing down one after the other. My orgasm seems to go on forever. Just as it starts to ebb, I feel Tanner reach his release, and it sparks mine back to life as though it had never ended.

  “Wow,” I say between the gulps of air I’m trying to drag into my lungs.

  “You’re amazing.” I still see that same look of adoration in his eyes. He kisses from my forehead down the bridge of my nose and stops at my lips before he unsheathes himself and heads to the bathroom to clean up.

  He comes back from the bathroom with a washcloth for me, just as he always does. After I clean myself up, he takes the washcloth and tosses it in the hamper. I can’t help but stare at his beautiful naked form. This magnificent man is mine.

  Tanner switches off the lamp on the nightstand before climbing back into bed and pulling me back to my favorite spot in the world. We don’t speak. It feels as though there are no words needed at the moment.

  “Good night, Ashley,” he whispers in my ear and then kisses the crown of my head.

  “Sweet dreams, Tanner.”

  “They always are with you, baby.”

  **********

  The week flies by, mainly due to my anticipation of the game this weekend. I’m more than excited to see Tanner play in person, to get to see him right after the game instead of hours or days later. Yesterday was Halloween, and I had the task of running all of Tanner’s last-minute errands. He didn’t have any candy to give out, and when I asked why I couldn’t just run to the local Walgreen’s to grab some bags of candy, he said, “I can’t give out the crappy candy.” Mr. Superstar needed whole bars of candy and told me to go to Costco so I wouldn’t clean out Walgreen’s. He’s lucky he’s hot, otherwise he would’ve been getting his own damn candy.

  I considered my costume choices as payback though. When I’d asked Tanner if he had a preference for costumes, he’d said no. His only requirement had been that they needed to be appropriate to hand out candy and take some pictures in.

  “When I’m home, I love giving out the candy. A lot of times, kids who watch football, or even parents, will ask to take pictures. You know me. I never say no,” he explained, looking like a big kid himself.

  So I found Fred and Daphne costumes from Scooby Doo. I got to wear too a short purple skirt and go-go boots. Tanner got to wear an ascot.

  “Really?” he’d asked, looking unenthused when I showed him the costumes.

  “What?” I asked, feigning innocence.

  “You couldn’t have picked a more… umm… manly costume?” He eyed the costume as though it might come to life and slap him for insulting it.

  “What’s wrong with Fred? He’s a crime fighter. Plus, ascots are hot.” I smirked, waggling my eyebrows.

  “Never again will I leave you in charge of important decisions,” he swore, chuckling and shaking his head at me as he snatched his costume from my hand. “We’re not putting these on until after the trick-or-treaters are gone, though!”

  We had a great time handing out candy, and Tanner had really seemed to enjoy himself. Just as he’d said, kids and parents alike asked for pictures.

  “You really like doing this type of thing, don’t you?” I’d asked once the last trick-or-treater had left with his candy bar and a picture with Tanner.

  “I do. Kids are great. And Halloween is all about the kids. Which is why you can’t give out crappy candy,” he said with a stern look. “I remember going out with my parents and sisters and having so much fun. Every year, we’d pick some theme and all have a costume from that. We did the Wizard of Oz one year. I was the scarecrow. I can’t wait to do that with my kids one day.”

  “Such a sentimental sap, Superstar,” I’d told him, smiling as I pictured Tanner with a gaggle of kids in costumes.

  “Yeah, yeah, go get your ass into that skirt and those boots.” He smacked my ass and pushed me toward the stairs.

  We’d ended up meeting Quinn and Alex at Levitate, but none of us stayed all that long. It was overcrowded and crazy enough without adding the costumes. I’d been prepared to take down a slutty angel or butterfly or anything else with wings if I got smacked by one more set of them. The crowd had been pretty young too. It seemed as though everyone who had just turned twenty-one had packed themselves in there, meaning lots of immaturity to go around. After only an hour or so, I’d asked Tanner if he was ready to head out.

  “Thank God! I thought you’d never ask,” he’d said, leaning down to speak into my ear so I could hear him over the din. “Hell yeah. I’ve been ready for the last hour,”

  “We’ve only been here an hour.”

  “I know, and I’ve been staring at your ass cheeks peeking out from under that skirt the whole time. And I’m not the only one.” He’d nodded toward the crowd with a murderous look in his eyes.

  “Ooh, you’re hot when you’re jealous. Come on. Let’s get out of here and you’ll get a full view of what’s peeking out from under this skirt,” I teased while fingering his ascot.

  A huge grin had spread across his face, and he whispered in my ear, “Let’s go!”

  I’d spent Saturday working on some last minutes touches for this week’s assignments, waiting for Tanner to call me to tell me he was on way his home. We’d decided that I would stay the night at his house.

  We’re heading to the stadium together this morning, just as soon as Tanner’s ready. I don’t think excited is the best word for how I feel about today. I can’t wait, but I’m nervous too. It’s the first time I’ll be meeting Tanner’s family. I have to hand it to Tanner, though. It’s a great setting. We’ll all have something else to focus on during the lulls in the conversation—or in case they hate me.

  Quinn does agree to come, but of course she’s heading to the stadium with Alex. Someone needs to get those two to admit that they’re in relationship. I think that they spend more time together than Tanner and I do.

  “You ready, baby?” Tanner asks, emerging from his closet ready to go. He looks down right edible in that dark gray suit, and the hunter green shirt makes his eyes shine like a beacon.

  “Is that how you go to every g
ame?” I ask, trying to put my tongue back in my mouth.

  “Yes?”

  “It should be illegal for you to be in public dressed like that. I don’t know which is hotter: you in that suit or you in your tight-ass football pants.” I shake my head. “I’m going to have to beat some skank’s ass today, aren’t I?”

  “Oh please,” he says, rolling his eyes. “But you’re looking mighty fine in my jersey, as usual.”

  I do a little spin for him before I smack him on the ass. “Let’s go. You have a game to win.”

  Tanner spends the ride to the stadium telling me all about his parents. Margaret and Andrew Garrison. They’ve been married for 35 years and can be nauseatingly romantic sometimes, so I shouldn’t be alarmed by any public displays of affection. It’s possible that his sisters may make an appearance, but he says you never know with them. I get a rundown of the suite. There’s anything and everything I could possibly want in there, and he tells me I shouldn’t hesitate to ask for a damn thing. Tanner walks me up to the suite before heading to the locker room.

  “No one will be here for a little bit, so you can have some time alone to get settled. I gotta go get ready, but remember, don’t hesitate to ask for anything. I’ll be right up after all the post-game stuff finishes. Just stay with my parents. They know the drill.” He kisses me good-bye.

  “Have a great game. Make me proud to wear this jersey.” I smile with pride. My boyfriend’s about to take the field, and I get to watch from up here like football royalty. Damn, I’m lucky.

  I stand at the front of the suite, against the glass, and watch as the stadium comes to life. The fans trickle in, and the players trickle out. The sideline crews are setting up all the things they need to ensure the game runs smoothly. I spot Tanner the second he comes out, and I catch him looking up toward the suite. I do my duty as his girlfriend, blowing him a kiss and waving. I think I see him wave back, but I don’t know if he can even see me up here. I watch him warm up, tossing the ball to the receivers, setting up with the line to run some mock plays, practicing hand offs with the backs. All that Madden playing combined with Tanner’s detailed explanations has paid off. I almost completely understand what’s going on the field right now. The way his body moves is so graceful for such a big guy. I’m in total awe of him.