Forget Me Not

by Goodmore, Jade

  “Are you okay?” I ask. My voice is much croakier than I was prepared for.

  “Are you for real?” He laughs, delicately. “No, I’m not okay, but I’m not the one who’s been in a car accident. Are you in any pain?”

  I mentally scan my body. “I have a head ache and my neck and back hurt. Have I fractured my ribs?”

  “No, sweets, but you’ve bruised your chest. No broken bits though.”

  “Why have you been crying?”

  Huffing as if he’s embarrassed at being caught out he stands and edges further from my bed. “Because I have no faith. I thought I’d lost you when I’ve only just got you back.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “I’m going to go get a doctor, okay? They need to know that you’re awake. Don’t go back to sleep, please.”

  “Don’t leave me, Jesse.” At once he’s hovering over me.

  “You have nothing to be scared of any more, Mickey. I’m here.”

  Reaching above me he presses a red button several times until a rounded nurse enters. She looks as though she is about to scold him until she see’s my bleary eyes peering up at her.

  “Well hello, Michaela. You’re awake. How are you feeling?” she sings with a joyful southern accent.

  “Sore, but okay. Can I sit up?” I ask, but I start to move myself further up the bed anyway.

  “Whoa, let me help you there, Miss.” She chuckles as she takes my shoulder and hand. Jesse is quick to match her on the other side of me, and together they maneuver me into a sitting position with my head supported by a solid pillow.

  “I’m going to go and tell the doctor that you’re awake. You can have a drink of water if you feel thirsty, but little sips.”

  As soon as she exits Jesse hands me a small plastic cup of water and perches himself on the edge of the bed. He leans over my legs so that he is in front of me and watches me intently as I restrain myself from gulping down the entire contents.

  “Do you remember what happened?” he asks.

  I shake my head lightly as I try to recall the events prior to me being here. “I was driving home. I think someone went into the back of me but I can’t really remember anything.”

  “Yeah, someone did. He was on his phone,” he snarls.

  “Oh. Is he okay?”

  “A sore head, but that’ll be the least of his worries when my lawyers are through with him.”

  I move my head from side to side, it feels weighted and sore. “It was the car in fronts fault, I think. They pulled out and I had to slam on the breaks,” I explain as the memory comes flooding back to me. “I was crying.”

  “When?”

  “When I was hit,” I explain.

  “Why were you crying?” Taking my hand in his he brings it to his lips. “You were sad?”

  I shake my head and smile a genuine smile for the first time since I awoke. “I was really happy. I was thinking about our wedding.”

  His eyes close and he takes a heavy breath. “As pleased as I am to hear that the thought of our wedding makes you happy, maybe you could refrain from thinking about it while you’re driving?”

  “Deal,” I sigh. “Is my car okay?”

  “I’ve arranged for it to be fixed but only so that we can sell it. You will never set foot in it again. I’ll get you a safe car, a big car that doesn’t move when it’s hit. Maybe a tank.”

  I can’t help but smile at his protectiveness, even if it is exaggerated.

  “Ms. Cole.” I look up to see a tall man with a grey buzz cut and beard appearing from behind the curtain. He means business but his smile is warm. Jesse removes himself from sitting on my bed and stands next to me, refusing to let go of my hand.

  “I’m Dr. Hardy, the attending neurologist. How are you feeling?” he asks.

  “Rough,” I breathe. He raises his eyebrows in expectation, so I continue. “My head is throbbing and my neck is stiff. My chest hurts and my back is sore since I’ve sat up.” Jesse stiffens as I rattle off my complaints.

  “I’ll organize some more pain relief. Your chest has been bruised from the seatbelt but you should barely notice it within a couple of days. You’re suffering from severe whiplash associated injuries, so you’ll probably find that the backache and neck stiffness stays with you for a little while, but I have no immediate concerns.

  “Whiplash? That’s it?” I repeat, shocked at how much suffering I’m in due to an injury I’ve always considered minor.

  “Whiplash can take on different strengths and severities. Primarily, what had us worried was your head. When you’re jolted forcefully your brain can be subjected to considerable damage. We’ve scanned you for any brain swelling or bleeding but have found nothing. I think after an overnight stay you should be fine to leave in the morning.”

  “You want me to stay overnight? No, I can’t. I have a son I need to get back to.”

  “Mickey, he’s fine. He’s being spoilt at Joanna’s,” Jesse insists, adopting a stern tone. “Let’s just get you better before you see him, okay?”

  I lower my head and sigh like a sulky teenager. I want to be home with my boy.

  “Ms. Cole, although we’re no longer concerned that you have a substantial brain injury, it would be neglectful of us to release you from our care after such a prolonged period of unconsciousness,” Dr. Hardy explains.

  “Why, how long was I out for?” I ask, completely dumbfounded.

  “Several hours, it’s almost eight in the evening.”

  “Oh.” I can’t believe that I’ve been out for so long. “Fine, I’ll stay.”

  Jesse refuses to leave after several arguments with several members of staff, so he spends the night in various positions on the hard back chair beside me. As terrible as I feel about forcing such an awful night sleep on him I’m utterly grateful for his company. I hate hospitals, especially when my last visit to one resulted in me almost bleeding to death after laboring with Benjamin. Jesse’s presence has made this whole experience so much less frightening than it could have been.

  My parents visited before we slept. They were distraught. I hate myself for putting them through so much heartache, not only now but throughout my entire life. It always seems to be me that causes their sorrow.

  Jesse left me to have some alone time with them while he went for food and to freshen up as best he can. After expressing their love and concern many times over, they explained how Jesse had called them as soon as he’d heard from the hospital. My mom told me how he had arranged for someone to meet them at the hospital entrance and personally show them to my bed. She continued to tell me how he didn’t let go of my hand the entire time I was asleep, and how he arranged and paid for me to be seen by the best doctors.

  I’m shocked but pleased to hear that Jesse insisted on speaking to Benjamin personally over the phone, explaining to him that I’d been in an accident. He told him that I was fine but that I was staying the night so that I could have a good sleep rather than having to drive all the way home. I feel better knowing that Benjamin has spoken to Jesse. He will know that I’m in safe hands.

  Jesse’s reaction to the situation doesn’t surprise me, but I think it has surprised my parents. After speaking to them I got the impression that the resentment previously felt towards Jesse has waned. Either that or they’re putting on a really good show. When my mom spoke about him she actually smiled, and when the three of them were in the same room together they seemed completely at peace with each other. Gone is the tension that hovered over them the last time they met.

  As my parents were leaving I was almost shocked into another spell of unconsciousness when handshakes, kisses and genuine hugs were exchanged. I can only hope that if there is any good to come out of this, it is that my parents can finally accept Jesse for the great man that he is.

  By morning my head is still throbbing softly, but no more so than the average hangover would incur. I no longer feel like I have been in a car accident; I just feel like I’m coming down with a serious case of the flu. My chest is s
till a little tender but only when I move abruptly, and my back and neck are as stiff as if I have over-exercised. Considering how ill I felt last night I’m surprised at how well I have slept and how much good the sleep has done me.

  It’s light outside. I try to reach for my phone so that I can find out the time. It was given back to me along with my bag at some point yesterday, but the specifics are blurred. I inwardly curse when I stretch and find it just out of reach.

  A young nurse walks in and see’s me struggling against Jesse’s head which currently rests in my lap. She smiles kindly at me before handing it over. I whisper my thanks and check the time while she strolls round to Jesse’s side, wanting to check my blood pressure. It’s almost seven in the morning and after such a restless sleep I don’t want to wake Jesse just yet.

  “Please, can you use my other arm? I don’t want to wake him,” I whisper.

  She nods politely and continues to check my stats. After a few minutes she writes on my notes and lets me know that all is good. She leaves me with some pain killers and exits through the curtains. When she closes them behind her, Jesse stirs and I hold my breath, hoping that he will go back to sleep.

  “Is everything okay?” he asks before his eyes even have chance to fully open.

  “Everything’s fine. Go back to sleep, Jesse.” I stroke his hair, but he straightens up immediately.

  “Was there a nurse in here? Are you okay?”

  “I’m great. She was just checking my stats and everything is fine. Stop worrying.” I smile.

  He sighs with relief and rubs his hands over his eyes and through his hair, attempting to wake up. Even when he is clearly tired and his unshaven, unwashed face is tense with stress, he still looks amazing. He looks rugged and not at all like the hotshot he really is. He yawns sleepily and my heart swells at the sight of my man. My man, who through his love for me has spent the last twenty-four hours in a sea of worry. I couldn’t be any more in love with him than I am at this moment.

  “Do you need anything?” he asks before standing and kissing my aching forehead.

  “Some breakfast would be good. I’m starving and you need to eat.”

  “I’ll sort it. I just need to go to the bathroom first, okay?” I nod as he disappears hurriedly before rushing back to kiss my hand in his special Jesse way. “Love you.”

  While he’s gone I take the opportunity to text my mom, asking her if she can pick Jesse up some clothes and toiletries from a store and I will pay her back when she gets here. He has been in the same clothes for twenty-four hours straight and without showering. I can imagine he feels pretty grim. She immediately replies with her compliance and tells me that they are leaving the hotel soon so will be with me within the hour.

  Reminded of my own hygiene and appearance, I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Carefully steadying myself, I stand and reach out for my bag. I take out my compact and hesitantly hold it up to my face, gasping when I see the reflection. My skin is a ghostly shade of ivory with unhealthy bruising underneath each eye. My brown eyes are dull and tinged pink with stubborn traces of mascara smeared into my matted lashes.

  Immediately grateful for the overnight kit that I prepared for my night with Jesse, I retrieve a hair tie from my bag and fasten my lank locks into a pony tail, wincing at the tenderness caused by the movement. I find some wipes to remove what remains of my makeup and feel instantly refreshed. I apply some balm to my dry lips and I secure my bangs away my face. When I turn to get back into bed Jesse enters through the parted curtains and races to my side as if I am about to fall.

  “Mickey, no! Let me help you,” he scolds. With his one hand holding my waist and his other hand gripping my arm he eases me onto the bed.

  “I do have full use of my legs, ya’ know,” I moan.

  He shakes his head in annoyance. “Just let me look after you, please.”

  I roll my eyes but can’t deny the smile that ignites from his care.

  “You look more like yourself,” he murmurs against my cheek as he kisses it. “I’ve ordered you some breakfast but it might be a while. They don’t normally serve food until gone eight. I went down to the gift shop but all they had left was chocolate and chips. You need a better breakfast than that. I’ve asked for the full works.”

  “And that is why I love you.”

  “Because I feed you?”

  “Well, that and the fact that you’re amazing.” I reach for his hand and pull him nearer to me. “Seriously, Jesse, I can’t imagine getting through all of this without you. I don’t know how I am ever going to begin thanking you.” I kiss his knuckles as he has done to me countless times. He leans down and places a kiss on my lips, so cautiously, as if I will shatter under his touch.

  “You can thank me by getting better and letting me look after you. When I take you home you’re not to lift a finger. Benjamin and I are planning on playing Alfred to our Batwoman for the next few days, and I want no resistance, okay?”

  “You’re coming home with me?” I ask, my eyes popping wide with hope.

  Pulling away enough to eye me seriously, he stares deep into my lifeless browns. “Of course I’m coming home with you. You really think I’d let you go home alone after this?”

  “I wouldn’t be alone. I’d have my parents and Joanna,” I insist, and then proceed to internally kick myself for giving him any reason to stay away.

  “That’s not the point. I want to be the one to look after you,” he declares.

  “What about your meetings?”

  “Mickey, I could have meetings set up with Obama, Oprah and Elvis fucking Presley and I’d still blow them off to be with you.” He smiles his wicked smile and kisses the tip of my nose before pulling away to sit on the bed.

  “If it’s possible, I love you even more today,” I announce, nudging him with my leg.

  “I love you more with every passing minute. So, let’s not waste anymore.”

  Unable to answer due to the lump that has arisen in my throat, I hold up my pinky finger to him. He loops his own finger around mine and brings our hands to his mouth before blessing them with a kiss.

  After a much needed shower I dress in some fresh clothes and I am more than ready to go home. My parents have arrived wanting to escort me home but I really want to ride with Jesse, and rather surprisingly, they make no attempt to change my mind. My mom has stuck to her word and brings in a change of clothes for Jesse, along with some underwear and toiletries for him to freshen up. Initially, he doesn’t want to accept them. He offers my mom money but she refuses and after stubborn insistence from her, he finally takes them. I try to pay her for them when Jesse is out of earshot but she refuses once more, stating that it was the least she could do after the love that he has shown for her daughter and family.

  The car journey home takes almost double the time when Jesse insists on driving to accommodate my injuries. We argue and I give in, knowing that what he has done for me during the last twenty-four hours has secured him a lifetime of me backing down.

  When we arrive home Benjamin is waiting on the doorstep for me with Joanna and Zoe. He falls into my arms and I unashamedly weep. The thought of leaving him without a mother in this world has terrified me since the crash. I know I wasn’t at deaths door, but what if I had been? The ease in which something so serious can happen is frightening. Benjamin doesn’t leave my side for hours and I don’t want him to.

  After demolishing the food that Jesse ordered in for us all the rest of my family are persuaded to leave, allowing us to finally relax. Emma phoned and let me know that she was thinking of me but didn’t want to disturb me knowing that we would have a houseful of guests. I love that she knows exactly what to do or say. We arrange to catch up tomorrow instead.

  Chapter 24

  The next few days blur together like a sweetly edited montage titled ‘Michaela’s Recovery.’ Visitors come and go bearing gifts of flowers and fruit and I am needlessly waited on hand and foot. I’m grateful for the kindness shown
to me and for the time to catch up with friends and relatives, but I’m also aware of how unnecessary it all is. I wasn’t seconds away from death and I haven’t had my spine snapped in two.

  Emma is the only one to treat me normally, well, after blubbing in my arms on her initial arrival. When she finally settled down she cursed me for being a shoddy driver and proceeded to fill me in on all of the foods that have made her nauseous. Almost everything by the sound of it. She laughed but I can see that she’s lost weight. She helped me eat my fruit on insistence from both myself and Jesse.

  Jesse and Benjamin have taken their nursing duties to the extreme and I am scolded if I so much as reach for my own drink. At first I enjoyed the rarity of being looked after, but by Thursday I’ve had enough. So I lie, telling them that I feel perfectly fine, that nothing hurts anymore so there is no need for them to do anything for me. I’m only half lying as my headache has completely disappeared. All that remains is a slightly stiff neck and back, but no more so than if I’d been doing intensive exercise.

  My little white lie seems to do the trick and normal service resumes. I’m even able to persuade them to allow me to go to work during the afternoon. My meeting with EDDEX Records is tomorrow and I’m ridiculously unprepared. Jesse and Benjamin drop me off and pick me up several hours later after I’ve managed to produce an acceptable presentation, should they expect one.

  I’m warmed by the thought of Jesse and Benji spending time together. They look so at ease in each other’s company that I have absolutely no qualms about leaving them alone.

  When we arrive home, the table has been set with new candles and tableware. The room soon flickers with soft flames and an acoustic guitar strums softly through the stereo.