Keep Me

by Faith Andrews

  Smiling, Riley spooned a helping of baby peas into Luca’s messy mouth. “He won’t be crashing anything!” The green goop dribbled onto his chin and she wiped it up with the corner of his bib. “And since Marcus insists on coming, Luca will have some male companionship. I think they’re both on the same level, too. Although Luca’s probably a little more mature.” She blew kisses at my son, who gobbled up the affection. Seemed he liked it more than his meal.

  Wiping my own mouth with a napkin, I tried to remain uninterested in the mention of Marcus joining us this weekend. I didn’t need her knowing how I really felt: that I craved him—being beneath him, wrapped in his arms, just near him. Even if it wasn’t “good” for me.

  “Get that look off your face, Missy. You want me to sound like a broken record?”

  Was it that obvious? Damn, she was persistent! With her around, whatever she thought was going on between me and her brother wouldn’t get the chance to go anywhere. And I knew she gave Marcus the same lecture about how we weren’t right for each other. Part of me was glad that he was still being his pig-headed self—he insisted on coming this weekend. That meant he wasn’t giving up. I didn’t quite know how to swallow that because it might just be easier if he did.

  It was unfortunate, but Riley was right. Marcus wasn’t what I needed right now. What I really needed was to be alone. But if I were to move on eventually, I needed security and reliability. Nothing about Marcus was reliable—it wasn’t in his nature. He was fun, adventurous, a good time. He liked to live life carefree, flying by the seat of his… bike?

  Oh God! Remembering our ride on the Harley made me squirm. Stop it, Tessa! You can’t think like that anymore.

  I had to start convincing myself that having him as a friend was the only logical outcome. I could handle friendship, he could handle friendship, and he was already becoming one of the best friends I ever had. It would be hard not to re-cross the lines we’d already smudged to oblivion, but it was what was best for both of us.

  Riley broke me of the mental pacing. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. I’ve got your back, girl. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.”

  I had no doubt, but I still felt uneasy. I would be spending two nights in very close quarters with Marcus. All with Riley watching over us. Riley might’ve had my back, but Marcus was taking over so many other parts of my body. It would be really hard to keep that in check.

  Friday night after work, we piled into Riley’s SUV and headed north for our mini-getaway. Marcus suggested we do our traveling tonight so we could make the most out of the only full day we’d have there tomorrow.

  As I leaned over to secure Luca in his car seat, I felt a familiar hand on the bare flesh that peeked through the space where my shirt rode up my back. I jolted at his touch, banging my head on the roof of the car. “Marcus, don’t even think about it.” I looked around for Riley as I rubbed the sore spot on my head, but remembered she was taking a last minute pee-break before the two-hour trip.

  Coming closer, he whispered on a huff of breath, “It’s gonna be impossible to keep my hands to myself this weekend.” He licked his lips, staring at me, and I nearly leaned in to get my own taste. His aura was magnetic and he was right. It would be damn near unbearable to stay away from him.

  “Well, you’ll have to try.” I pushed past him to retrieve my duffel from the curb, but he got there quicker and lugged it over his shoulder and into the trunk.

  “Damn, pretty girl! What the hell’ve you got in here? We’re only going away for two nights, you know.”

  I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. I couldn’t expect a young bachelor like Marcus to understand the insane number of belongings I needed to pack when toting along a baby.

  “I hope it’s full of all those sex toys you’re gonna need to survive this weekend of blue balls.” His eyebrows danced and it made me giggle.

  I decided to play along. It was too fun not to. “Jam packed, baby. Dildos, Benwa balls, anal beads… the works.” His eyes went wild at anal beads. It was hilarious. Did I really have that kind of effect over him? Or was he just another sex-crazed guy who got aroused at the mere mention of anything slightly kinky?

  “Keep it in your pants, bad boy. I’m only kidding.”

  He continued arranging the baggage to make room for Luca’s stroller, then looked up at me with dark, seductive eyes. “What a shame. I’ve been dreaming about making that sweet ass of yours mine.”

  My throat went totally dry. I had no words, but apparently he did. He pressed up against me, his lips tickling my ear lobe. When he whispered, “and I wouldn’t need anal beads to do it,” I felt the dampness in my panties weakening me.

  My limbs went to putty against him and I was just about ready to surrender when the front door opened and Riley bound out, her flip-flops slapping as she dashed to the car. I quickly backed away, the heat rising to my cheeks, settling in my belly and reminding me of what he was capable of doing to me. I walked away and plopped myself next to my son in the back seat.

  Marcus strode around to the driver’s seat, Riley pranced along the length of the car to the passenger side, and the two of them took their positions, closing their doors simultaneously. I wished I could close the door— slam it even—on the feelings that were growing for Marcus. This weekend would be a test, but I intended on passing with flying colors. “We need music,” I blurted out. It was my code for ‘I need a distraction,’ and Marcus was on to me.

  He peered at me with a deliciously evil grin through the rear view mirror. I broke the intense stare and lowered my gaze to my lap.

  But my head popped up at the familiar song pulsating through the speakers. “You know The Airborne Toxic Event?”

  “Know them?” he laughed. “I fucking love them. Better question is how do you know them, pretty…” He stopped himself from saying the rest and looked over at Riley who was innocently applying lip gloss in the light-up mirror on the visor.

  Our similarities in music taste were another thing that drew me to him. When two people were in sync on a musical level… there was something so intimate about that. And I’d never met another living soul who’d heard of this indie group—yet another reason to feel the connection growing deeper. Shit! This is getting harder by the second!

  When he turned up the volume to All I Ever Wanted, my heart leaped into my throat. It wasn’t one of my favorites but he was trying to send me a message through the lyrics. When it got to be too much to take— I could tell you that you’re all I’ve ever wanted—I begged him to switch it. “Please put on Changing. It’s my favorite.”

  His large hand hovered over the control. He had to get one last line in before giving in— “All I can think is that it must be a kind of Rebellion, to arm your fears like soldiers and slay them…”

  The new song took over, and I decided to just let go. If this weekend was going to be the relaxing break I so desperately needed then I had to let it be. Riley audibly tapped her hand on her knees, Luca cooed while sucking on his binky, and Marcus and I sang to each other for the rest of the car ride—poetic words that belonged to someone else, but that held all the meaning of everything we were too afraid to admit to each other.

  “Yeah? Well, let’s let her decide then!”

  After putting Luca down for the night, I stepped out of the bedroom where he and I would be sleeping and ran right into a Grayson sibling debacle.

  “Let who decide what?” I jumped right in.

  Riley glared at Marcus, the rage evident in the tightness of her features. “You planned this didn’t you?”

  “Planned what?” I interceded. I was super curious now.

  Marcus, wearing loose fitting pajama bottoms and a sleeveless ribbed cotton undershirt, sauntered over to me with a newspaper in his hands. Was he trying to melt me? “I swear to Christ I didn’t plan this, Ry.” He lay the folded paper before me, the colorful ad centered on the black and white page.

  I stared in disbelief. “Are you shitting me? The
y’re here? Tomorrow? What the hell are the…”

  “I know, right? It’s like a sign. We have to go!”

  Riley’s arms were wrapped around her chest like a boa constrictor. All she had to do was start tapping her foot and she’d be the picture perfect mother hen. “I’m not condoning this… this… debauchery! Find someone else to sit for Luca if you two are going to go groupie around with some indie nothing of a band that no one’s ever heard of.”

  Marcus tilted his head like a sullen boy but barked back, “The Airborne Toxic Event is not a nothing of a band, Ry. And it doesn’t matter, I didn’t ask you to come with me, I’m asking Tessa.” He turned back to me with the most hopeful glimmer in his eyes. It was heart-melting. “What do you say, Tess? Wanna go?”

  Did I ever! After singing with Marcus in the car earlier and feeling every single one of those words course through my veins I couldn’t think of anything I’d like more. I’d yet to see them live because I wouldn’t dare ask Zack to accompany me to something he had no interest in. That kind of thing was unheard of… yet I had to suck it up and sit in the bleachers for tons of baseballs games every year. I wanted to do this for me, for a change, but it would piss Riley off to no end if I flat left her for Marcus and then had the audacity to ask her to watch Luca. Especially since she was already wary about Marcus and I spending time together… alone.

  “As much as I’d love to, I can’t leave Riley alone. It wouldn’t be right.” It sucked always having to be the voice of reason.

  “She won’t be alone. She’ll have Luca. Come on, Tess, I’ve been dying to see them with a real fan. I don’t know anyone else who’s as stoked about them as I am.” His excitement matched that of a young boy. Oh my God, it was cute! He scowled at his sister, tossing the newspaper at her. “Riley, you goddamn soggy biscuit. Tessa needs to unwind, you said so yourself. This is perfect! For God’s sake, I’ll take her as a friend, not a date… totally innocent.”

  I was suddenly uncomfortable. A: I felt like they spoke about me and my drama behind my back, and B: I really hated that Riley was going to such great lengths to keep Marcus and me apart. She had to know I didn’t like feeling controlled. Taking a deep breath to wash away my unexpected resentment toward my friend, I conceded, “Forget it, Marcus. It was a nice gesture and it would’ve been fun, but…”

  Riley’s statue-like stance finally broke. “Oh, fuck it! Go. I’ll watch Luca and you guys can rock on to that crap you both like.” She waved her finger in Marcus’s face. “But I’m warning you, if you knock her up and I have to explain to my niece or nephew that his or her parents were acting like total hippies at a concert the night he or she was conceived… I swear to God, I’ll rip your balls off.”

  Marcus grumbled something under his breath and I just giggled. “It’s not a date, remember? We’re just friends and friends don’t get each other pregnant. So I think we’re in the clear. Right, Marcus?”

  He was holding back… his face was practically turning blue from keeping it in. “Right. Friends. Just friends.”

  He left me with that and a sly, adorable wink as he walked up the steps to his bedroom. I ached to follow him, but that wouldn’t exactly prove the whole friend point, would it?

  Even after a restless sleep, I was still annoyed with my sister. It didn’t matter that I won and that Tessa was going to that concert with me tonight… as friends. This shit was getting out of hand and I was really keyed up over the way Riley made Tessa cower like a child. Who the hell did my sister think she was? I mean, I’m a grown man—I can go to a concert with whomever I choose, whenever I choose! And Tessa could make her own decisions about me. She didn’t need Riley feeding her bullshit about the type of guy she thinks I am.

  I was finally ready to make a new name for myself. Like for instance, I’ve never taken a girl out on a date. Apparently, you can’t consider hooking up in a club or bar and taking a girl back to your place a date. At least that’s what I’ve been told. Tomorrow night, Tessa would break my first-date cherry. Yeah, yeah, I know. I promised it wouldn’t be a date, but that was lie number one. Well, actually, lie number two. The first lie shamelessly slipped through my teeth when I told Riley I hadn’t planned this. Oops. Sue me! I would’ve never pegged Tessa for an Airborne fan, but I knew about the concert for a while. In fact, I had all intentions of asking Tessa to go before everything happened last weekend, but then Riley started sticking to her like stink on shit. She was a good friend and I’m sure Tessa felt protected and cared for with her around, but I wanted to be the person she leaned on. I could comfort her if she’d just let me. I intended to prove that to her this weekend.

  She needed good friends in her life—that part Riley was right about. And it seemed Tessa wanted to play the friend card, so a friendly gentleman was what she was going to get. At least for today and part of this evening. Again, it was all part of the plan… since I had no doubt I’d have her begging me to touch her by the second song in the opening act.

  “Morning, sunshines.” I said as I walked into the kitchen and met Tessa and Riley sipping their coffee beside a bright-eyed Luca.

  “Morning to you, too. We thought you’d never grace us with your presence.”

  “Ry, it’s nine thirty, not two in the afternoon. Don’t start with me already.” Pain. In. The. Ass. Were all sisters this irritating? Or was it just the cock-blocking ones?

  I avoided the fresh smell of the strong brew and opted for the blender and an energy boosting protein shake. I wanted to be on my game today. I couldn’t be zapped out mid-day after fizzling down from my caffeine high.

  “So what’s on the agenda for today, ladies?” After the noise of the blender no longer overpowered the room, I looked over my shoulder and addressed my date for the evening. “Tess, the concert starts at eight. I want to be on the road at seven, okay?”

  She nodded as she picked Luca up out of his little booster seat thingy. “Sounds good to me. I’ll need to start getting ready around six.”

  Riley interceded, “Well then, we better get cracking, peeps. The suns out, it’s a beautiful day and that boat is calling my name. Go throw on your bathing suits and meet back in the living room ASAP.”

  Was she always this damn bossy? “Thanks for the itinerary, sergeant.” I eyeballed her as I walked out of the kitchen, chugging my frothy breakfast of champions.

  I instantly felt like a dick. It wasn’t like me to stay mad at her and I hated to think I wasn’t adhering to our own version of bros before hoes—we used to call it ‘sis before tits’—but Riley, of all people, should’ve known what it was like to want to be with someone. She’d been holding out for a husband and a kid and a white picket fence for as long as I could remember. What if I wanted that now, too?

  Shit!

  I glared at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were unusually wide and possibly dilated, though my vision was too blurry to tell. My heart jumped into my throat. Marriage? Whoa! I took a step back, and a very deep breath. “One step at a time, dude.”

  We wound up converging in the living room, according to Riley’s schedule, and within minutes we were down by the dock, loading onto the pontoon boat I rented for the weekend. Growing up, my parents owned one and we would tube off the back of it all day long. I remember a time when my sister brought Tessa for a few days and Dad allowed Riley to take my friend Kyle and me out on the lake without him. Tessa had worn a pair of cut off denim shorts and a bikini top, and I think I sported a boner the whole entire time. I watched like a salivating dog as she applied tanning lotion to her already bronzed curves and I made it a point to be on my most funny-little-brother behavior, because I loved hearing her laugh, knowing I was the reason for it.

  It was no different all these years later, except now I knew what it felt like to caress those beautiful curves. My hands ached, hungry to touch her again. Did she feel the same way? Or was she totally indifferent to my charms now? It was time to find out.

  Luca was tucked safely in his mother’s arms, looking like
the orange life vest was swallowing him alive. I stripped out of my T-shirt and flexed every muscle as I applied a generous helping of SPF 30 over my upper half. Trying to remain nonchalant about it, I swiveled to face Tessa and looked up from rubbing the lotion into my abdomen. The moment I lifted my head I caught her focusing on me. She immediately gulped—it was freaking visible for God’s sake—and then quickly turned away. Nope! Certainly not indifferent. Score one for little bro.

  “Hey, Tess, can you get my back?” Why not goad her?

  Gazing over the edge of the boat and focusing on the lapping water she said with a shy smile, “My hands are kind of full, sorry.” Girl had iron-clad willpower. If she asked me to rub something on her back I would jump at the chance to get my fingertips on her silky skin again.

  “‘kay, guys.” Riley bellowed from the padded tanning deck. “Let’s roll. Marcus, you mind taking the wheel first?”

  “Nope, on it! Tess,” I wanted to call her ‘pretty girl’ so bad, but Riley might have a canary if she knew I had a nickname for her. “Let me know if at any time you think Luca’s not feeling it, ‘kay? I’ll slow down, go back home, whatever the little guy needs.”

  She smiled and gave me a thumbs-up, “Aye, aye, Captain. I think we’ll be good. He’ll probably fall asleep on my lap… it’s almost nap time.”

  The girl knew her son—within twenty minutes of gliding across the stillness of the lake, Luca was conked out in Tessa’s arms. I took the opportunity to stop the boat, feeling my skin scorching from the hot sun.

  “Hey! Why’d we stop? I’m getting my tan on.” Riley shot up from her lounging position.

  “Just hot, I need to take a quick dip.”

  Riley stood up and removed her shorts. “Yeah, me too. I’ll join you and then take over driving for a little bit if you want.”

  “Okay, cool.”