Not Your Average Princess

by Kylee Kosoff

  Being the author has certain perks like being able to interfere or just watch as the story unfolds. Like the power of invisibility, I can see everything, but not be seen. It’s called omniscient point of view.

  Henri looked solemn though she was trying to hide it.

  Rumple Stilskin was curious, and Hook was determined.

  Henri was reserved as if she had pensive thoughts rolling about her head.

  Just as Rumple, I was curious. I wondered why Henri was distressed. And I wondered what Hook wanted so badly?

  “How are the seas, Captain?” Rumple asked.

  “As tempting as ever.” Hook winked at Henri.

  She harrumphed and narrowed her eyes at him. “Dad, I’m going to get ready for bed.” She kissed Rumple’s check before wandering out of sight.

  “Now what is it that you want, Hook?” Rumple asked.

  The devious captain stretched out leisurely like a cat. “What I want is a wife. You have a lovely daughter, Rumple. She’s of age, and I believe we would make a good match. You and I have always benefited from our friendship, and what would be better than a more permanent alliance? If you’d like, I would even be willing to lay a down payment up front.”

  If Rumple Stilskin was surprised, he did a great job at hiding it. “You want to marry my daughter?” He finally asked.

  “Yes.”

  “What!” A livid Henri barged into the room.

  This was the first real sign of emotion Henri had expressed the entire night.

  “I was just explaining to your father the benefits of having a pirate for a husband. Now we just wait for his approval.”

  “You—you scoundrel! This isn’t the medieval ages! My father won’t be choosing my husband—I will. And I certainly would never marry you!”

  Rumple patted his daughter’s hand before looking back to the pirate.

  “Well, Hook, I am disappointed that I cannot be of more help, but what you have asked for is not something that I can freely give. I do hope that we can continue our business together.”

  “Of course, and I hope that you would persuade your stubborn daughter.”

  “Father, I believe our guest has over stayed his welcome.”

  Hook

  Her voice was sweet, yet her eyes were throwing daggers at me.

  I smiled as I stood and whispered in her ear. “I suppose this is my dismissal, but Henrietta, you should never say never. I promise that you will agree to be my wife by the end of the month.”

  She glared at me, and I smirked at her as I left their house.

  One month. What on earth had ever possessed me to give myself a deadline? She had been so fiery and so passionate when she had told me that she would never marry me. And I wanted nothing more than to prove her wrong. She was just as stubborn as I remembered, but I was not going to take no as an answer. It would not be easy convincing her to marry me, but it would be a thrilling battle.

  Chapter 6: Need a Hand?

  “It takes a lot of courage to face a beast, but it takes breath mints to kiss him.” —Author Unknown

  Hook

  The tunnels of the Wicked Mountains are very dark; I didn’t realize that I was being followed. “Friend or Foe?” I asked drawing out my cutlass.

  “Let us just say that I am an interested third party,” A young lady’s voice replied.

  “And pray tell what be ye interested in?”

  “Your love life, Hook.”

  “You know my name, yet I do not know yours.”

  “I’m Grim, and you need my help.”

  Did she think me dimwitted? An author was more trouble than they were worth. “Thanks but I know exactly what I’m doing.”

  “No, you most definitely do not.”

  “Whatever.” I turned down another hallway.

  “You’ll never get Princess Henrietta to agree to marry you without me.”

  GRIM

  That stopped him dead in his tracks.

  “What makes you think I need your help?”

  “You didn’t get off to a great start. First, you just jumped right to marriage. You didn’t bother to get to know her or even attempt woo her. No, you just tried to buy her. And now she hates you.”

  “Hate is a strong word. It’s custom to ask the father for his daughter’s hand. How was I supposed to know that he had allowed her to have a choice?”

  “That’s irrelevant at this point. You need to focus on getting her to like you let alone love you enough to consider marriage.”

  “My womanizing skills are quite adequate.”

  I don’t even know how he kept his face straight with that sentence. “This is what I’m talking about—you are way too cocky! No sensible woman would ever be stupid enough to touch you with a 39½ foot pole.”

  “You’re exaggerating,” He drawled.

  “You know I bet you’re right! Your method could work—if you’re the last man on earth. Or if she didn’t already think that you’re a good for nothing pirate... But I’m sure that you’ll be fine. It’s not like you’re bound to fairytale laws, and you only have thirty days to make her fall in love with you.”

  “Fine, what do you suggest?”

  “You have to make Henri like your bad-boy self.”

  “Come again?”

  “You’re a Byronic hero if I’ve ever seen one. And for whatever reason—”

  “I am no hero!”

  “That's not what I meant! Oh bother, it wouldn’t even make sense if I explained it.” A pirate would never understand literary terms. I had to come at this from a different angle. “Certain characters can get away with being bad. For whatever reason, everyone loves a character that is more than just a hero or a villain.”

  “Something more, what do you mean?”

  “It means that there has to be something redeemable about you!”

  He laughed darkly. “I have nothing redeemable; my heart is as black as the night in Batman’s dreams.”

  I grimaced trying to hide a smirk. If authors and characters got along better, I might actually like him. Alas! I couldn’t let him know that. “You’re really starting to annoy me! Villains don’t get the girl; heroes do. So, if you want the girl, you’re gonna have to be more than just another bad guy. You have to be able to love her.”

  “I am incapable of love.”

  “Then you’ll never get the girl, like ever!”

  He frowned. “I will consider your proposition.”

  I slapped my hand against my forehead. “Whatever. You’ll find out soon enough that you need me if you have any chance of this working.”

  “Perhaps.”

  Stupid know-it-all pirates!

  HENRI

  The nerve! If young Hook had been a menace, the older one was evil incarnate. I couldn’t believe that once upon a time I had thought I loved him. I tossed and turned unable to fall asleep. I couldn’t believe that he had truly expected me to accept his offer and become his wife. We were strangers now, but I wondered if I had ever truly known him. It didn't matter. I never wanted to see him again.

  However, that proved to be impossible. Wherever I went, Hook was there.

  He always grinned at me before approaching me.

  I tried to ignore him and avoid him, but he didn’t want to be ignored or avoided which made it almost impossible to do so. I could constantly feel his eyes following me. As if his stalkerish habits weren’t bad enough, Dad invited him to our home for supper every Sunday.

  “Dad! You’ve got to stop inviting that infuriating pirate into our home!”

  “We have business to attend.”

  “He wanted to buy me!”

  “It is a common custom. I want you to marry for love, but it is not always the case. He was a bit tactless about his proposal. I’ll admit to that, but his reasoning was sound.”

  “He’s a pirate.”

  “Most definitely, and he used to be your best friend.” He chuckled.

  “Used to be, not anymore! Why would you invite such a rou
ge into our home?”

  “Henri, he may be a pirate, but he is a gentleman.”

  “A pirate cannot be a gentleman!”

  “Not without someone to teach him.”

  As if that made any sense!

  “Henri, have you considered that he might be exactly what you need?”

  “Don’t you dare! You’re not making this about my being a princess.”

  “No, I’m not, but I always thought that he’d be good for you. And it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

  I knew that he meant well, but he couldn’t be more wrong. Hook and I were never going to happen.

  I was more determined than ever to avoid Hook.

  Hook smirked at me before heading my direction.

  I ducked down a tunnel trying once again to avoid him. My heart skipped a beat as my pulse pounded. Despite how much I hated Hook’s attention, it was distracting me from my not curse. I honestly didn’t get the big deal. No prince. No curse. No problem.

  But I knew it couldn’t be that simple. Stories never were.

  Hook grinned. “There you are, Henri. I almost thought that you were avoiding me.”

  I jerked out of my thoughts. “I was.”

  He laughed, “Blunt and straight to the point. How completely uncharming! I quite like that in my women.” His smile would have been classified as disarming.

  “I am not your woman.”

  “Yet.”

  “Ever.”

  “Your voice is as sweet as honey, yet your tongue is as sharp as a double-edged sword.”

  “And you are not a poet.”

  “Never said I was. C’mon, Henri, give me a chance. We were friends once.”

  “Once upon a friend, but I think you remember why that story’s over. Now, I have to go. Dwarf needed my help.” I tried to move around him, but he caught my hand in his.

  “Before you go, I must apologize for my appalling behavior the night before.”

  “Oh, you mean when you tried to buy me?”

  “Yes, I wanted to make that up to you.”

  “There’s really no need.”

  “I insist.”

  “How about you make it up to me by leaving me alone?”

  “No, I think I’ll make it up to you with a date.”

  “You’re doing it again.”

  “What?”

  “Being a jerk.”

  “At least, I’m apologizing for my rash behavior, yet I’m hearing nothing over your haughtiness!”

  He’s one to talk about haughtiness!

  He held out his elbow for me, and I hesitated before finally placing my hand on his arm. His muscles rippled beneath my touch.

  For the first time since he returned, I didn’t have anything to say.

  He chuckled and I scowled at him. “What?” I snapped.

  “You’re speechless; I presumed that to be an impossibility.”

  “You’re presumptuous.”

  “And you’re a shrew.”

  “I’ll never marry you!” I declared.

  “Perhaps, but I’m a very patient man. Forever won’t last for long, and I know I’ll win.”

  “You’ll not win my heart.”

  “Don’t judge me so quickly, love.”

  “Don’t call me love!”

  I pulled my hand off of his arm and walked down the tunnels. I couldn’t understand my reaction to him. He rattled something inside of me, and despite how much I tried to hate him he made me feel alive. He was exhilarating, and even though I knew he was dangerous I couldn’t stay away. I didn’t want to stay away.

  Now that I was a princess everything felt wrong. I was anything, but a princess. I was clumsy and klutzy rather than graceful and elegant. I felt self-conscious where before I never would have bothered before. My hair tended to frizz no matter what I did to it. Princesses were supposed to have perfect hair! So, why didn’t I? For the first time in my life I felt fat. Princesses had perfect bodies, and I was curvy if not chubby.

  Hook, in his fiendish way, was able to take my mind off of my insecurities. His appreciative glances sent tingles and bats fluttering. I didn’t mind his chasing as much as I knew I should. A small part of me reveled when he went out of his way just for me.

  I slapped my hand against my forehead, as I felt my heart pounding in my chest. What was happening to me? Was I actually developing feelings for that—bloody, egotistical swashbuckler! After everything he had done?

  HOOK

  Bloody, beautiful vixen.

  I sighed but couldn’t fight the grin that tugged onto my lips.

  “You were coming on way too strong,” Grim rebuked frowning at me.

  “I was not. I was being the perfect gentleman.”

  “Say that to the girl who practically ran from you.”

  “She didn’t run; she had somewhere else she had to be.”

  “You’re delusional.”

  “What did I do that was so wrong?”

  “Everything! You’ve been chasing her. Bad boys never chase the girl.”

  “You told me to woo her.”

  GRIM

  There is no such thing as a perfect character for the author. The author experiences a completely different journey than the reader. The author has to guide and sometimes even force the characters to mold to her will.

  The characters will change, shift, and fight the author every step of the way.

  The reader sees only what the author allows, but the author sees everything. No one spends as much time with the characters as the authors.

  Hook was pretty much the most stubborn fool I had ever had the displeasure of writing.

  It didn’t matter though no matter how much the character fights eventually the story is always told. And I know exactly how to get this story moving in the right direction. I just needed to do a bit of digging around. For a fictional writer there is nothing dirtier than research which is very critical for a good novel. As you’ll see in the next chapter.

  Chapter 7: Hook’s Background Check

  “The evil men do lives after them. The good is oft interred with their bones.” —Shakespeare

  Henri

  Dwarf wanted to know my cake preferences. Did I want chocolate cake? Despite my love for all things chocolate I had to decline that one. Did I want red velvet? I must confess distaste for cream cheese frosting. We finally settled on a cheese cake with chocolate ganache and fresh strawberries for the top.

  As soon as I was finished with cake matters, my stepmothers swept me away to go over dresses.

  Queen Grimhilde thought I should wear Apple Red.

  Lady Tremaine thought that a Midnight Blue would be more appropriate. “It will complement her eyes.”

  “But do absolutely nothing for her hair!”

  We finally decided on a dark green velvet dress with black lace. My brown eyes almost looked like moss. Gold flecks sparkled in the dim light topped off with black knee-high converses from Cinderella’s Rock n’ Roll Ball line.

  Tiger Lilly even let me use her pixie-dust makeup.

  It wasn’t a princess dress. It wasn’t something made by a fairy godmother. And thank goodness it wouldn’t disappear at midnight. I looked nothing like your average princess, but I was completely me.

  “Yes, I believe that is perfect.” Lady Tremaine grinned.

  “You look lovely, Henri,” Queen Grimhilde finally said.

  I twirled. It is amazing what a brand-new dress can do for a girl’s moral. Suddenly everything that was bleak and horrid was right and almost even hopeful.

  I reluctantly hung it up and stored it away in my closet.

  “You will get to put it on again in just a few hours.” Queen Grimhilde assured me. “Now, I need to check on the apple pie.”

  “And I need to make sure the laundry is being properly washed.” Lady Tremaine said.

  Once they left my room, Tiger Lily and I were alone.

  As much as I wished a dress couldn’t fix my problems.

  Tiger Lily and I lied down o
n my bed. She grabbed my hand. “So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you or am I going to have to make you tell me?” she asked.

  A true best friend knows when something is wrong even if no words are spoken.

  Before I could stop myself, everything spilled out. “Apparently, I’m a princess.”

  Hook

  I followed Henri down the corridor with the intentions of intercepting her and convincing her to go on a date with me. I’m usually not an eavesdropper, but when I heard the word curse, I couldn’t help myself. What? I’m a pirate.

  I heard her whisper to her friend, “I don't have a villain or a curse. But that means something’s wrong, and I don’t know what to do.”

  I knew I had only one chance of getting this princess. One way or another, I had to curse her!

  ***

  “You want to do what?” Grim asked looking at me like I had lost my marbles.

  “I want to curse her.”

  “Why?”

  “Because she’s a princess without a curse which means she doesn’t need rescuing, and that means I won’t get my happily ever after.”

  “And you’ll get it if you curse her!”

  “No, I’ll get it when I break the curse.”

  “The curse you cursed her with.”

  “Yes.”

  “How do you plan on doing that?”

  “Well, there are plenty of options. Her father has more than enough spinning wheels for her to prick her finger. I’m sure I could find an apple around here somewhere. There’s a plethora of dragons and ogres to kidnap her, and if I can trick her into the woods the wolves should do the trick.”

  “You’re nuts!”

  “It is a simple problem with a simple solution.”

  “But if you curse her that makes you her villain.”

  He was silent for a motion in contemplation. “You’re right if I do this too directly, I’ll be bound by fairy tale laws.” He frowned.