Oblivion

by Karolyn Cairns

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jace sat on the couch and watched Marnie cry. He felt helpless. She got up from her nap and realized she was alone. She didn’t find the note Lance left for her on the table. He helped it along by moving the note. She overlooked it. He could see the torment in her face as her hand went to her slightly rounded stomach.

  The thought of his baby growing there made him feel strangely content. He wished he had some power to know such things, but he would have to wait with everyone else when her test results came back.

  Marnie looked down at the brochure from the adoption agency and her hand trembled as she set it down on the coffee table. Her slight frown told him the decision to give up the baby troubled her.

  He was frustrated he couldn’t talk to her. He wanted to reassure her no matter whose kid it was everything would work out. Lance was determined to make it work. She had to have faith now. Girls like Marnie always expected the worst; never thinking they deserved better.

  Jace focused his energy on the brochure. His anger lashed out at it and flung it from the table. It landed on the floor. He forced it across the carpet until he reached the kitchen. He picked it up and it hovered on the air until he reached the trash bin where he let it go. It whispered into the bin.

  Marnie sat stunned as she watched it go. Her hazel eyes filled with terror. He could see her face grow taut with fear. She jumped up and looked around, backing away to the bedroom. She ran inside the room and slammed the door shut and locked it. He smiled, thinking he made his point. She would think twice before she made that appointment next week.

  Jace heard Lance’s car pull in and was relieved. Marnie was probably freaking out. Lindsay would be mad at him for revealing himself. He couldn’t sit back and let her suffer with the choice she needed to make. The life inside her wasn’t an inconvenience.

  Lindsay entered the apartment and was anxious to talk more with Jace. Lance set down the take-out box and frowned when he found his bedroom locked.

  “Open up, Marnie. I brought you something to eat,” he called, jiggling the doorknob.

  “I’m not coming out!” she cried from inside. “Something’s out there! I saw it move things!”

  Lindsay cringed to know Jace got into mischief.

  “Open the door, Marnie. Nobody’s here but us. You just had a bad dream.”

  “I saw it!”

  Lindsay went to her room and shut the door as Lance tried to coax Marnie to open the bedroom door. She took the ring out of her pocket and put it on. Jace laughed at her accusing look. He sat on top of her dresser smirking.

  “Did you have to do that?” she asked in a whisper.

  “She needed help from a higher power,” Jace informed her smugly, grinning. “I couldn’t resist. I don’t think she’s confused anymore.”

  “She’s locked herself in the bedroom and won’t come out. You scared her to death.”

  “Marnie needs a wakeup call, Lindsay. She has to come to terms with this baby. It’s coming whether she likes it or not.”

  “Just try to stay low key, okay? We don’t need them knowing your ghost is here.”

  Jace laughed and rolled his eyes. “Fine, but don’t think she’s not aware of it already.”

  “She’s yanking my brother’s chain daily. He’s trying to be there for her but she keeps going back and forth. Maybe once she knows whose baby it is she’ll calm down.”

  “If it’s Cam’s; she can’t give it up without his permission.”

  “The lady at the agency said it’s up to her.”

  Jace shook his head. “He can make it hard, take her to court. Don’t think he won’t do it.”

  “I know it sounds bizarre, but I pray it’s yours.”

  “We all do. It makes sense, but only time will tell.”

  “Are you nervous?” she asked.

  Jace frowned. “More than I thought. Thinking I might have a kid has haunted me since I died. I knew I failed to get to her in time. So many things went undone after that.”

  “Lance said your dad will sign off on the truck for me.”

  “Chicken,” he mocked and his brown eyes twinkled. “You always did have a problem with my dad. He’s just a drunk, not a monster, Lindsay. Why does he make you so nervous?”

  She looked at his transparent image, her eyes sad. “Before I didn’t want to face what he was. I guess I kept you separate from all that. Now, I’m just mad enough to drag him off that bar stool and yell at him about what a waste he’s made of his life and his kids.”

  “He isn’t ready to face all that.”

  “He abandoned you, Jace. He forced you to step up all those years. When I think of it; I just hate him for making your time here tough.”

  Jace sighed and gazed at her with remorse in his eyes. “The hardest thing for me was to realize I had no control over what happens now, Lindsay. I can’t make my dad quit drinking. I can’t make you move on and do everything you said you would do. I can’t guarantee Dougie and Sara will make it either. I only hope me coming back makes you realize I’m okay and you don’t need to worry about me. I want you to be happy one day; even if it’s without me.”

  “I can’t think of that now,” she shot back, eyes filled with anger. “Don’t ask me to forget you, Jace. That won’t ever happen.”

  “Don’t make me into something I wasn’t either, Lindsay. I wasn’t perfect. Look what I did to Marnie? Just realize you have a new path to take. I just don’t want you throwing away everything because of me.”

  “Seems to me what happened with you and Marnie was my fault too.”

  He looked pained to hear her words. “I did that. Don’t blame yourself. I didn’t feel comfortable either; if it makes you feel better. I just wanted everything to be perfect for you. I worried I would ruin it. It’s no excuse for what I did.”

  “In a roundabout way it tells me how much you loved me, Jace.”

  “Don’t ever doubt it, Lindsay. You’re all I ever wanted when I was alive. Now that I’m dead; I just want to make sure you don’t let me hold you back.”

  “Don’t expect me to run out and find another guy!”

  “Oh, he’ll find you. He’s gonna feel the way I did when we met. He just needs you to give him a chance.”

  Lindsay didn’t want to talk about the future. It hurt too much. He talked about it like it should be so easy for her to move on without him. Didn’t he know a piece of her soul died with him? An ache that would never ease formed once she knew he was gone. No other man would ever take his place in her heart. She knew it so absolutely she feared the future, knowing she would be alone.

  “Can we not have this talk?” she asked coolly. “I just lost you! Forgive me if I’m still grieving while you try to marry me off.”

  Jace smiled at the anger in her voice. “Easy, don’t be mad. I know I’m asking you for something you can’t give me right now. I just want to know you’ll be okay when I leave, Lindsay. When does anyone get a chance to say goodbye like this?”

  “Is that what this is?” she demanded. “Is this just goodbye? Is that the only reason you came back?”

  “Lindsay, I can’t stay here. All I would do is hold you back. I came back to make sure everyone was alright and Cameron is off the streets. I never planned to stay.”

  Lindsay felt fresh anguish to know he was right. How could she be so selfish to expect him to stay with her like this? Self-loathing filled her to know how much she loved Jace. She would have him in whatever form she could; even a ghost.

  “I just can’t think of being without you.”