Oblivion

by Karolyn Cairns

  ~ ~ ~

  He could see her struggle and it tore out his heart to know he couldn’t allow this. He had to leave. The longer he stayed, the more she would cling to the past and what they had. Regret filled his eyes to know the lifetime they were denied was felt every moment they spent together now.

  “Do you think this is any easier for me?” he asked with an angry look and threw up his hands. “Do you think it makes me happy to know you’re gonna meet some other guy one day and fall in love and forget about us? It’s going to happen, Lindsay. I’m dead! We can’t be the way we were before. It’s not fair to you and I have to go back and see what comes next.”

  “It’s not fair for you to rub it in either! I’m not ready to live without you, Jace!”

  He saw her tears and felt a stab of pain. “Let’s just finish this thing with Cameron. Then I can rest easy.”

  She nodded and wiped away at her tears. “I don’t want to fight with you. Just don’t talk about what happens when you leave.”

  Jace came close, his hand sliding through her basking in her living warmth. She shivered at the touch, feeling the coldness there.

  “Do you feel that? What does it feel like? You’re warm.”

  “It feels cold,” she said and her eyes filled with emotion. “I wish we had just one more minute left so I could kiss you again Jace.”

  His head lowered and his lips fluttered against her warm ones making her shiver again. She felt the icy touch of cool air and no more. Disappointment filled her gaze as he raised his head and she met his brown eyes.

  “That’s what I miss most; all the wasted time we took for granted. I can think of every minute of every day I didn’t do this or that. If I’d known I would have treasured every second.”

  “People don’t think about it until it’s too late, Jace.”

  “Don’t ever forget it, Lindsay. Don’t die with regrets.”

  “What’s your biggest regret of all?”

  He smiled tenderly and his hand slid into her pale hair wishing he could feel its silky texture, disappearing and reappearing.

  “I regret pushing you away. It wasn’t just about sex for me. It was about being with you in every way, knowing you so completely. It scared the Hell out of me sometimes to think of being that close to you.”

  Lindsay felt it too. She knew it would have been worse to lose him as she had. They never had those moments or felt those emotions. To be with Jace in that way was forever denied her now.

  Resentment was felt to know Marnie had that knowledge of him, making her feel a sense of bitterness when she admitted it to herself. The biting jealousy was there, whether she chose to accept it.

  “At least we have right now,” she whispered and her hand reached up to slide through his image, feeling her hand merge with his coldness.

  Jace stepped back, overwhelmed with how her nearness still affected him. It was torture to not be able to touch her and really feel her. She couldn’t know his torment, how thoughts of her churned inside him like a living thing.

  He loved her more now, realized it with a sinking heart. He would never get passed this. He couldn’t tell her that and burden her with it. Life was for the living and regret was for the dead.

  “It will never be enough,” was all he said and looked away, unable to look upon her perfect features. “Just know I feel the same as I did that night I left you at your door, Lindsay.”

  They were interrupted by Lance’s loud voice imploring Marnie to open the door. Lindsay giggled and shook her head.

  “Don’t rattle her cage anymore. Her nerves are shot.”

  Jace grinned as he heard Lance begging Marnie now.

  “She didn’t know what she wanted. It was worth it even if I did scare the crap out of her.”

  “What now? When are you going after Cameron?” she asked and her eyes filled with dread.

  “Tonight. I see no reason to let him sleep easy with what he’s done. I’m going to haunt his ass real good. He’s going to beg to be arrested just to get away from me.”

  Lindsay looked at him doubtfully. “He’s nuts, Jace. It’ll take more than a ghost to shake him up.”

  Jace smiled as he thought about the ghosts who wandered around Little Bend without purpose. They were bored. Maybe they could help him. The desire to torment his murderer gave him pause.

  Never a vindictive person in life; this desire to punish was new to him. He questioned what he did now. One look at his flesh and blood girlfriend reminded him Cameron deserved everything he got and more.

  Knowing Cameron was threatening her made him anxious to begin. A visit from him might just make his best friend rethink going after Lindsay. He had to try. She brought him up to speed on the investigation and they sat together quietly. She wasn’t likely to get a confession out of Cameron. Maybe if he helped it along, he would sing of his guilt to the highest corner of Little Bend.

  “You let me worry about our buddy Cameron,” he told her in a voice that made her shiver at its sheer ruthlessness. This wasn’t the Jace she knew at all. “He’s gonna be sorry he ever picked up that knife.”

  “Be careful, Jace.”

  He chuckled and rolled his eyes at her words. “What’s he gonna do; kill me? I’m already dead, Lindsay. He’s going to feel every bit of my anger before I’m done with him.”

  She stared at him and hesitated to speak. “Can you…hurt him, Jace?”

  He smiled without humor making her blood run cold. “I’m going to try.”

  The bargaining going on outside the bedroom intruded once more. Lindsay shook her head as she approached the door to her room, looking at him reproachfully.

  “I’m going to try and get Marnie to come out of their room now. You know the way out. Just don’t wake me up when you come back. I’m dead tired and have an early shift tomorrow.”

  Jace watched her take off the ring and put it in her pocket before she opened the door and went out. He stepped through the walls until he reached the stairs outside. Then he ran, blazing through town like a blur. He was felt like a cold icy blast of wind none remarked on as he blew by them.

  He stood in front of Cameron’s house and frowned. He stepped through the walls and found Marianne Chase berating her son for sitting around playing video games and ignoring his chores.

  His former friend was wearing a tee shirt and sweats and looked annoyed as his mother paced before him in the wreck room, her overly made-up face glowing with displeasure.

  Her teased orange hair didn’t even move as she stalked angrily around the room, snatching up beer cans in disgust. Her blue eyes were narrowed in anger as she regarded her youngest son.

  “This has to stop, Cameron,” Marianne snapped as she poured out an ashtray into a paper bag. “You have a week left of school and two until your hearing. You need to get it together! Partying night after night isn’t going to help you pass your finals.”

  “What’s the point now?” he asked in a sullen tone. “We both know I won’t graduate, Mom. They’re letting me walk just because Coach Dawes asked them to.”

  She glared at him. “You need three credits to graduate. They said you can make it up this summer. Maybe if you hadn’t run off Lindsay; you would have a shot at passing.”

  Cameron glowered at his mother as she cleaned his party room, muttering under her breath. His blue eyes were filled with resentment. He had an ugly gleam in his eyes.

  “I didn’t run Lindsay off! She quit on me! Then she turned me in to the cops! Get it right!”

  Marianne eyed her son in disapproval as she continued to clean around him.

  “Quit blaming everybody else for your problems, Cam. The therapist told you to take responsibility and ownership for what you do. Lindsay didn’t make you sell drugs and she didn’t make you fail three classes. You did this to yourself. You better get it together. Your father isn’t too happy with you right now.”

  “What else is new?” he snapped and stood up, glaring at her. “He isn’t ever happy w
ith me.”

  “That’s not true and you know it. This whole thing with Jace’s murder has him upset. You know he cares about you.”

  “He’s just mad he has to spend the money on an attorney for me, Mom!”

  “He doesn’t believe you did this anymore than anyone else, Cam. He’s just upset like the rest of us that you’ve been accused.”

  Her son looked at his mother with a flat expression. “He probably thinks I did it, knowing him.”

  “Did you do it?” Marianne asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “No! I didn’t do anything!”

  “Alright then; the truth will set you free,” she snapped and picked up the empty twelve-pack from the floor. “Now clean the rest of this up before he gets home.”

  Marianne walked right through him and Jace coughed from her overwhelming perfume. Cam made a face at her back and sat back down. He took a joint out of his rolling tray under the card table where he sat and went to light it up.

  Jace smiled coldly and concentrated on the joint, his anger palpable the longer he regarded his killer. Cameron went to light it with a purple Bic and it went flying from his lips to land on the floor at his feet. Cameron frowned and bent to pick it up. Jace sent it sailing across the room.

  Cameron stared at the joint in disbelief as it moved across the floor on its own. He looked scared as he stood quickly, upsetting he card table with a clatter. He stepped around the table and chased down his joint. Jace moved it away at the last second, sending it back where it started.

  “What’s going on?” Cameron growled as he followed it. “Is somebody playing some kind of a game?”

  Jace reclined on the back of the leather sofa against the wall and gazed at the empty beer bottles on the card table. His rage sent them flying at Cameron, all three hitting him smartly about the head and shoulders before they tumbled to the carpet.

  He glared and looked around. “Who’s here? Matt if that’s you; I’m gonna kick your ass! Come out and quit playing games!”

  A Miller Lite mirror faced Cameron on the wall where Jace was sitting watching him. It was dusty. Jace smiled as he used his own finger to move across the mirror, spelling it out for his former friend. Cameron hadn’t noticed it yet, still yelling at his friends to come out. He finally saw what was written in dust and froze, stepping near, his face seeming to pale.

  You will pay for killing me.

  Jace enjoyed the expression on his killer’s face as he wiped his hand through the writing, clearing it before his disbelieving expression. Cameron backed away, looking scared now.

  “You’re dead! This isn’t real!”

  Jace looked at the ceiling fan above and a hard mental push sent it spinning around, making Cam jump and swear as he backed away. He moved to the sliding glass doors. Jace saw him try to open them. He kept locking them, forcing Cameron to stay there.

  “None of this is real,” Cameron whispered a bit hysterically as he clawed at the glass door. “I killed you, man. You’re dead!”

  Jace sent a whole shelf of football trophies flying at that, his dark eyes filled with fury. The trophies smacked Cameron hard, making him cover his head with his hands and duck as they sailed at him.

  “You’re dead, you asshole! Go away!” Cameron cried as he continued to get clobbered with trophies, grunting as one hit his forehead, causing it to bleed from a deep cut.

  Jace was so enraged now he couldn’t stop if he wanted to. He sent such a powerful pulse of anger through the room, he overturned furniture, sent knick knacks and sports gear flying, and created such a storm of debris; Cameron dropped to all fours and crawled towards the door.

  “Leave me alone, Jace!” he shouted as he crawled to the door. “You aren’t real! I got rid of you! I saw you die! This isn’t real…it isn’t real.”

  Jace pummeled him with whatever he could lift with his mind in fury, sending a volley of items at Cameron, wounding him, battering him until he was limp and bloody. He lifted a bowling ball in midair and was about to use it to smash Cameron’s head in when he stopped and got himself under control.

  Jace could see Cam was unconscious. His mind let the ball go and it thumped to the floor and rolled away. The room was destroyed now. Cameron was covered with cuts and bruises, lying unmoving with blood seeping from the wound on his forehead.

  Jace focused and a pulse moved his body with the force of his rage and was satisfied when he lifted him. He opened the sliding glass doors and moved the hovering Cameron through the air to dangle above the pool cover.

  Jace thought it was time his buddy woke up and released his mental hold. He watched him drop to the center of the pool cover, bringing the rest of the cover to wrap around him like a taco.

  Jace heard Marianne screaming as she ran outside. He watched her son come to and struggle amid the pool cover, floundering and sputtering as the sinking nylon sucked him down. Hatred made his dark eyes glow as he watched Cameron go under.

  Marianne’s screams brought neighbors running. The neighbor guy and his companions pulled the cover taut and brought Cameron to the surface. They were able to grab onto him and pull him out.

  Jace watched the neighbor guy perform mouth to mouth and smiled grimly when Cameron began vomiting up pool water on the deck. He lay weakly as his mother called 911.

  Jace turned away and walked through the walls of the Chase house until he reached Cameron’s Mustang parked in the driveway. He stared hard at the windshield until it shattered in a million pieces that blew out in every direction with a loud, resounding explosion of glass. The car alarm was going off. An intense look sent the tires flat. He walked away feeling satisfied that he sent his former best friend a message from beyond. He was just getting started.