Pleasing The Professor (The Professor's Student Series Book 1)

by Janae Keyes

  “Dora, I’m sorry,” he said, emotion in his voice. “Fuck, I’m such a fuck up, and this isn’t the time for that. Please, stay.”

  To keep the attention off of us, and not make a bigger scene than we had. I sat back in my chair and looked across the table at the man that meant so much to me. He had broken parts like me. Whatever went wrong in his childhood was keeping him paralyzed, while my not so distant past echoed through my ears whenever it got the chance.

  “Ramsey, you’re not a fuck up, and if you are, at least you’re my fuck up.” I offered my condolence to his laughter. I found myself laughing along with him.

  “I want to have something with you that is completely different from the relationship I watched growing up. I care so much about you Dora. I don’t know what it was, but when you walked into my classroom, I had to have you no matter the consequences. I knew you’d blend with me and would accept me in ways I never knew someone could.”

  My stomach was in knots, the words on the edge of my lips. I had to tell him how much he meant to mean and in only three simple words.

  “Ramsey, I lo—”

  “Hello and Happy Christmas. I’m Glinda, here to take your order,” the waitress had appeared out of nowhere practically, cutting me from my admission. My stomach still tied up from the moment before, no words exited my mouth when I opened it.

  Ramsey and I eventually ordered, our conversation stayed light through the evening. Nothing as dramatic as it had been. Maybe we weren’t ready for those three words that would send our worlds into a collision.

  We exited the cab, but instead of going straight into the hotel. Ramsey took my hand and led me to the small park that sat across the street from our place of lodging. He took a seat on a bench under a street light, I sat next to him and leaned into him for warmth.

  “I have something for you. Merry Christmas, Sweet One.” He handed me a flat, square, velvet box. I glanced at him, but his eyes were urging me to open it.

  I flipped open the lid to find a jewelry set. There was a necklace, earrings, and bracelet. The necklace and earrings had one amethyst stone with diamonds above in a swirling design. The bracelet was a pattern of amethyst and diamonds, absolutely perfect. He’d gone above and beyond, my birthstone and all. Tears in my eyes I turned back to him and forced my lips on his.

  “I don’t know what to say besides that you didn’t have to. This trip was enough. Hell, spending time with you away from Oxford was enough. Thank you so much,” I cooed.

  “Anything for you, no matter how broke I go,” he told me before kissing me again and pulling me close. “Now let’s go inside. I think you have a punishment waiting.”

  I smiled against his lips, I didn’t want to leave our piece of quiet, but the day after Christmas it would be over and back to hiding in the shadows.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Ramsey

  I woke up the next morning with Dora curled into me. I could get used to this. The way her curves fit against me, her light breath against my chest. Her morning breath. Okay. Well, maybe not the last one. I got up to use the bathroom, and get a drink of water. Looking back at the bed, I smiled at the woman in it.

  Sadly, though, I knew it was time to wake her up so she could eat, and we could get ready to leave. Waking Dora, I handed her the glass of water and her bag.

  “It’s time to get ready to go, Sweet One. We’ll get breakfast on the way to King’s Cross.” I left her to finish getting ready, while I dressed and packed. Before long we were ready to go and checked out. I hailed a taxi, and we were on our way home. As much as I had enjoyed London, I was plenty happy to get back to Oxford.

  Dora slept most of the train ride back curled up on me, the trip having apparently done a number on her. I was slightly worried about her, the way her blood sugar had dropped so instantaneously the other day had startled me and made me even more protective than I had previously been with her.

  I shook her as we pulled into the train station, waking her from her slumber. “Dora, we’re home,” I whispered against her hair.

  Yawning she looked at me and smiled. We departed the train and found my car, covered in a fresh layer of snow. It was cold when I started it, and we could see our breath.

  “This is too cold for me. I’m from California. Send me home!” Dora laughed. I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her neck.

  “No. I think I will keep you here with me. Even if I have to tie you up downstairs. Understand?” I pulled her closer to me, running my hands along her body. I wanted her, but I wanted food more. Groaning, I pulled away, putting a small distance between us.

  “I would love to take you right now, but we both need to eat.” I pulled out of the lot and onto the road, heading for home. I was starving, and I knew that she had to be too. I would get Sue later from the doggie hotel. He could use a nice vacation from us too.

  When we pulled into the drive and finally entered the house, I walked into the kitchen and pulled some food from the fridge. Eggs and bacon, it was.

  “Thank you for London.” I glanced at Dora. She was standing in the entryway. I smiled at her. She was everything that I wanted in a woman, and more. I was falling hard, and it scared the fuck out of me. I didn’t know what to do. I started to pull back, to reign myself in. To distance myself from Dora so I could evaluate our relationship.

  “You’re welcome. I hope you had as much fun there as I did.” I relaxed, thinking about all the things we had done, and the things we hadn’t done. “So, I thought that I would give your group a curve since Crystal got expelled. Depending on who shows after the break. I think most of the class is going to leave. They just can’t cut it.”

  “Well, I was hoping everyone would turn their assignments in. But, you stuck me with the dumbest kids in class, and none of them had done anything before we left for break, so I doubt that they did during break, even with you giving my group the extension.” Dora looked at me, annoyance written on her face. I knew that something was bothering her, but I wasn’t going to push it.

  “I already told you, Dora, it was all random. I am sorry that you got stuck with them, but there was nothing that could be done about it once the groups were made.” I paced the kitchen, agitated. “If I had pulled you after the groups had already been sorted perfectly, you would have been given more hell than you were. Is that what you wanted?” I looked at Dora, the tears in her eyes, and knew I had fucked up again.

  “I am not a child, Ramsey,” the tears choking her voice had my heart in a death grip. I had to fix this fast.

  “Dora, darling, I never said you were a child. I was just trying to let you know why I couldn’t just pull you from the groups. I didn’t want you to face more ridicule than you had been. Especially with everything you had told me about the kids from your old school.” I gathered her in my arms, kissing the top of her head. “I was trying to protect you, Dora. I’m sorry if I went too far. Please, forgive me.”

  Dora relaxed into my arms, letting me breathe in her scent as we stood there, as I thought about what was between us. What was between us? I knew what I felt, but I didn’t know what she felt. I had thought she was going to tell me in London, but nothing had come of it, and I was too nervous to tell her myself. No matter what I did, Lena still hung over me. A ghost, a bad memory, a sorrow that had never completely gone no matter what I tried.

  I knew the end was coming, but not from Dora. I would be the one to fuck it up beyond repair. I always managed to fuck everything up until I couldn’t fix it anymore. It was the other reason I had left Harvard.

  I had found someone that I was interested in there, but she wasn’t available to me. I dated around, but nothing ever took. One night, when I was out walking, I found her being raped and beaten behind some bushes by her boyfriend and his best friend.

  I’ll never forget the terror in her eyes as she stared at me. I was frozen in horror and didn’t know what to do. I could have helped Marie, but I just watched as they kept at it, too afraid to move. Once again, my
fear had paralyzed me. I didn’t know how long I watched for, but when they were done with her, there was nothing but a shell of a beautiful girl left. Bloody, broken, beaten. Forgotten.

  I called the police, reported where to find her lifeless body, and moved on. The next week I transferred back to Oxford, and back to the nightmares that followed me here. I deserved to be tortured and destroyed. It was my lot in life for never stopping Father from hurting Mother, for letting him cheat on her all these years.

  I pulled back from Dora, running my fingers through her hair. I had to do this now, or I wouldn’t have time to collect myself before term started. I loved her, but I had to let her go for her own good. Before she got hurt from being with me, I had to break her heart.

  I put my hand down beside me and released her. Taking a steadying breath, I turned as cold as I could.

  “Dora, I think it best if you head back to your room for the rest of break.” I couldn’t believe I was doing this. Don’t do this you fuck up. Can’t you tell she loves you? I ignored the voice in my head screaming at me. Dora looked at me confused. We had agreed she would stay at my house for a break. “Dora, I gave you an order.”

  “No, Ramsey you didn’t give me an order. You gave me a suggestion.” She put her hand on her hip, staring me down, fiery little minx she was. You’re going to regret this, you wanker! I forged on.

  “Dora, get your stuff so I can take you home. I think it best if you stay away for the rest of the holidays.” I repeated myself. I was finding it harder to look at the hurt in her eyes. I didn’t want her to hurt. I wanted her to get pissed at me.

  “Dora, can’t you tell this was nothing more to me than for us to be fuck friends. You submit yourself to me and have a grand affair in England, while I get all the sex I want?” There it was. She was getting pissed.

  “What the fuck are you talking about? Are you getting cold feet, Ramsey? Seriously, this is not the way to woo me.” Dora stared at me, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. Now you’ve done it you fucking trod. Congratulations. You’ve made her cry. I had never felt like more of an ass than I did at that moment. I turned my back, to hide my emotions, and to keep myself from seeing her cry.

  “If you can’t handle the arrangement that we have made, then I think that we should end this here. What’s it going to be Dora?” What the hell do you think it’s going to be you, stupid git?!

  I couldn’t lie. I hoped she’d see right through me before I shattered myself.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Dora

  I swallowed. I didn’t want to believe a word he said. We’d just spent the best days together. He’d showed me how much he cared, and in a split second, he changed on me. This wasn’t Ramsey, not the man I’d fallen in love with. Opening my mouth, it was parched, and no words came out.

  “Dora, get your things, now,” Ramsey growled at me, his Dom voice taking over. I felt my body react to his tone, wanting to follow his instructions, to please him, but I fought against my instincts.

  “I just thought—”

  “You thought this was more than it is. What exactly do you think this is, Dora?”

  “I thought we…” I allowed my voice to trail off at the intensity of his glare, his blue eyes nearly piercing me.

  “Exactly, we’re nothing besides a professor and his student.”

  “But we—” I interjected.

  “But we, what? We fuck. Yes, Dora, we fuck, and we spend time together, but that doesn’t take us anywhere else besides where we started. Plenty of people fuck without emotion. Our relationship is simple, I’m your teacher, and you’re my student. You also give me your body to do with as I please, and in return, you get simple moments of pleasure. If you can’t handle that arrangement, I think it’s best we end it here.”

  I couldn’t breathe, the entire time he spoke, I swear I didn’t take a breath. He’d squashed any feelings I thought lingered between us. Glancing at the ground, I was afraid of him seeing the tears forming in my eyes. I swallowed away my burning tears.

  “I asked you once before if I was a play sex slave to you. You answered that I wasn’t. That night you told me you wanted me to be your girlfriend. Was it all for fun, for play, a joke? I’m asking you again in all seriousness. Ramsey, am I a play sex slave to you of some sort?” He didn’t answer. I took his silence as his definite answer, the answer that sent my heart into shattered bits. “Thanks for the answer. It’s yes, I’m nothing to you, but some girl who sucks your dick and does what you say. I’m a slave to you.” My voice cracked at the end, exposing my emotions.

  My tears were welling in my eyes once more. What I felt for him was completely different than what he felt for me, and he’d made it perfectly clear. He’d lied to me, strung me along. Young and dumb, exactly what I was.

  “I should go home,” I squeaked.

  “I think so,” he agreed. “But Dora.” My head shot up, his eyes meeting mine. “If this is too much for you, I don’t think we should continue. Give it thought, though.” He stepped to me.

  “Fuck you,” I hissed, my hand making contact with his cheek. The smack echoing through the room. I turned around and tore from the room, grabbing my coat where I’d left it hanging by the front door, and out of his door I went.

  Tears streamed down my face as I hopped on my bike and pedaled as hard as I could, with every bit of might I could muster up. It didn’t matter to me that slush was falling from the sky and my clothes were soaking through in the freezing cold as I rode. A mixture of precipitation and tears on my face as I raced through the city to find myself in the safety and warmth of my room.

  Arriving at my student building, my clothes were drenched through, and I struggled to lock up my bike. When I finally managed to do the normally simple task, I trudged into the building, the halls quiet as I splashed up the stairs to the third floor.

  At my door, I fought with my keys in my hand as they slipped through my fingers.

  “Shit,” I grunted as I dropped my keys. I hurried and picked them up from the floor. Tears falling down my face once again. I felt like such a loser, of course, he didn’t want me for more than we were.

  The words of the people at my old school whispered and hissed in my ears, “Whore, slut, thot.” Maybe they were right; maybe I was all of those things. I sniffed trying to fight their negative words away.

  “Hey there Dorothy-Dear,” Simon’s voice called out. Damn, I wasn’t in the mood.

  I waved my hand quickly but refused to look at him as I finally slipped my key into the lock.

  “Sweetie, are you okay?” he came close to me, and I glanced up at him knowing my face was a mess after riding my bike across town in the rain while crying. “Oh Dorothy-Dear, those mascara streaks are not a good sign. You look like a black Lauren Conrad on an episode of The Hills.”

  “What?” I squeaked out feeling laughter in my belly as I opened my door.

  I stumbled into my room, Simon right behind me as I flipped on the light.

  “Did that boy make you cry?” he asked. Knowing I could never go into all the details with him, I just nodded. “Damn boy. I’d fight him, but I’m not really good at that. I am good with my hands, though, in other ways. I’m fairly good with my mouth too.” He gave me a wink that caused me to burst into a fit of laughter.

  As much as everything hurt, a friend like Simon was exactly what I needed at the moment.

  “Not a boy, though, a man. The amazing man who makes my toes curls simply from the sight of him. The man I have explosive feelings for, but he made it clear tonight his feelings aren’t the same for me,” I explained with a shrug. It was no shrugging matter, my heart physically hurt.

  I started to strip off my wet clothes and threw them over the radiator in the corner. I didn’t mind changing in front of Simon knowing he wasn’t attracted to any parts I had, more like envious as he’d expressed to me on several occasions.

  Letting out a sigh, I pulled a sweater over my head and sat down on my bed next to where Simon h
ad taken a spot. My fingers toyed around with the amethyst pendant of my necklace, the necklace Ramsey had gotten me for Christmas.

  My body was physically shaking from my time in the cold. Simon scooted closer to me and wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my arms to warm me up, my tears spilling out of my eyes.

  “I feel so stupid. He used me, and I let him. I’m so fucking stupid,” I sobbed.

  “Dorothy-Dear, you listen to me. You aren’t stupid. You fell for someone who said they were one thing when they were another. I know that too well. Look at me, I should be in New York right now, but I arrived there to find out the guy I was talking to online wasn’t some hot twenty-two-year-old student, but some nasty old man. You know I was on the first plane back to England. People are shit sometimes, but we have to keep it moving.” Simon was great at giving pep talks. I took a deep breath to slow my tears. “I do have a threat to make good on, though, and he deserves it.”

  I shook my head. Simon was the best friend a girl could have, ready to go to bat for me when I needed it.

  Moments later, my cell phone started to ring. I jumped from my bed and pulled the phone from my wet purse. It was foolish of me to wish it was Ramsey, calling to tell me he was being a fool and that he loved me. I checked the screen; disappointment struck me. My mom was calling, perfect timing.

  “My mom,” I told Simon with a heartbreaking sigh. If only it could have been Ramsey. Would I have answered if it was?

  “I’ll let you talk to your mum. I will check on you and believe me I will,” Simon said as he stood, giving me a reassuring smile.

  “I know.”

  As Simon left my room, I climbed under my blankets and answered my mom’s call. Though I wasn’t prepared for the floodgates that would open at hearing my mother’s voice.