UnBreak This Heart

by Dawn Martens

Bryce forces me out of the bakery and looks like he wants to punch me. “Bring it, fucker. I dare ya,” I say to him.

  “Not even going there with you, man. Your woman in there is fucking hurting, and you don’t give a shit. Maybe if you cared even a little fucking bit about her, you’d be there for her right now,” he says, stepping up to me and getting in my fuckin’ face.

  “You don’t know shit,” I say while shoving him back.

  “She lost a baby, you fucker!” he shouts at me.

  My jaw clenches. “Not worth my fuckin’ time,” I say, walking away from him.

  I climb on my bike without a backwards glance and head to the clubhouse. A few drinks are in order, I think.

  Two drinks in, Vinny and Jasper walk up to me. “Rough day, man?” Jasper asks.

  “You could say that,” I say, slamming my beer on the bar. I turn to Vinny and growl. “Keep your fuck of a brother away from my wife.”

  His eyebrows shoot up. “Huh?”

  “You heard me. That bastard had his fuckin’ arms around her today. He touches what’s mine again, I’ll kill him, your blood or not.”

  “I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, but don’t be taking your shit out on my blood. Got me, bro?” Vinny mouths off, and it takes everything in me not to sucker punch his smart ass.

  “Fuck you and your sorry brother.” I flip him the bird and grab a bottle of Jack to drown my sorrows in.

  “Man, you need to get a hold on your anger.” Jasper clamps a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug him off.

  “Fuck off unless you wanna drink with me.”

  He shakes his head but takes up the seat next to me.

  A couple of clingers come over, trying to get up on me, but I shove them away. Nasty bitches. Figure I better go home and apologize to Hilary with my tail between my legs if I want to get laid.

  I don’t know how the fuck I managed to make it home with as drunk as I fuckin’ am, but I did it. I stumble in the house and see Hilary on the couch, curled up in the fetal position.

  Getting’ down on my knees, I kneel before my wife, feeling like total shit. I sweep her dark hair from around her face, and she stirs slightly. Her cheek is bruised from me striking her earlier today. Kissing her cheek, I murmur softly how sorry I am for hitting her.

  Her eyes pop open, and she shrinks away from me. Wrapping my arms around her, I bury my head in her chest as she runs her fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry.” She doesn’t say anything, but she does try to push me away as I begin to tug on her clothes.

  “I’m not supposed to be having sex yet, since I lost the baby and lost so much blood. Doc’s orders,” she tells me, but she quickly gives in when I bend her over the back of the couch.

  Stripping her of her sweatshirt and those damn booty shorts I love, I pound my frustrations out inside her tight cunt. “Better not ever see you in another man’s arms,” I growl before I bite the shell of her ear roughly. Pinching her nipple, I tell her, “Every part of you belongs to me. Don’t want you to ever fuckin’ forget it.” I slam into her harder, and she cries out my name.

  It’s been a few months since I lost my child. Mason goes on as if everything is fine; he doesn’t know how badly I’m still hurting inside. Or maybe he knows but just doesn’t care. He keeps accusing me of cheating on him, and I don’t understand how he could possibly think that.

  He wasn’t there for me. Bryce was. I suppose I could see how it would look to him when Bryce was consoling me.

  I ended up forgiving him for the incident that happened at the bakery, but I’m starting to regret it. The first time he put his hands on me was a few months ago, and then he did it again just three weeks ago; I shouldn’t allow for a third time. At first, his apology was heartfelt and amazing, but then he went and ruined it, and I had to fake an orgasm for the first time ever.

  We’ve been doing somewhat okay besides all that. Of course, he still won’t talk about our lost child at all, but over the last week, he’s constantly been on me about Trent. I was sixteen when I found out about Trent being my brother. My mom told me; she’s known about it for years I guess, and she was hurt. That was what ultimately ended my parents’ marriage.

  She asked me to please not share that with anyone because their divorce was already an issue in our town, with my father being a Pastor and a Mayor at the time. Even though she said there really is no love lost between her and my father, she also doesn’t want to see his church members go after him with pitchforks, especially when he preaches about fidelity and all that shit.

  Now I’m on my way to see my father¸ to most likely get bitched out about something.

  I walk up the familiar cement steps to Daddy’s church and go inside. I watch him for a few moments, standing up on the stage as he rehearses his sermon for Sunday’s service before he finally notices me.

  “Hilary,” he says with a nod. “Let’s go talk in my office.”

  I frown, following him. It’s not often I see him outside of church. Every Sunday I get to church early, and he parades me around as if we are the best father/daughter duo in town. It makes me sick- sick that even though he’s supposedly a man of God, he still can’t keep it in his pants. Some days, I think he cares more about keeping up appearances than he does me.

  He closes the heavy oak door behind me when I step into the room.

  “Have a seat,” he says as he walks around his desk to his own chair. After I sit, he starts in. “What do you think you’re doing, going to see Trent all the time?” he asks angrily.

  “He’s my brother,” I say with a shrug. “Of course I’m going to see him and spend time with him.”

  His nostrils flare. “If anyone finds out about this mess, I’ll lose my footing in the church, and I’ll never be elected Mayor again.” He shoves his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

  “Yeah, well, maybe you should have thought about that before you fucked around on Mom!” I yell at him.

  “Don’t you say that filthy word in my church!” He smacks his palm loudly against his desk.

  “Well then, learn to keep your dick in your pants!” I snap out. This is going nowhere fast.

  He sighs, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “Look, I know I’m not the best father out there. I’ve made mistakes. I’m only human. But this friendship you’ve struck up with Trent will be damaging on this family if you continue it.”

  “I don’t care, Daddy. He’s my brother. I’m not gonna shun him just because of something you did,” I spit at him.

  “Have you told your husband?” he asks questioningly with furrowed brows.

  “Actually, no, I haven’t. There hasn’t been time. Too much shit happening,” I explain, feeling guilty. His shoulders drop in relief, and I narrow my eyes at him. “Why would it matter if I told him anyways? He’s my husband.” What else isn’t he telling me?

  His jaw clenches. “Don’t say a word, especially not to him. You got me, girl? You won’t like the consequences if you do,” he warns in an ominous tone.

  “Are you threatening me?” I scoff at the audacity. My father the preacher…

  “No, but you can’t say anything.” He looks at me, pleading, his green eyes softening.

  “Why the hell not?” I shout while throwing my arms up, growing impatient with his games. I don’t have time for this shit. My marriage is rocky. School is getting harder. I can’t concentrate.

  “Because if Mason finds out, he might not take kindly to it,” he says cryptically. Is he implying Mason will do something bad?

  “What? Why the hell would it matter to Mason? Trent’s my brother!” I bellow at him.

  “He’s Mason’s too!” he shouts back at me.

  My face pales. “What?” I whisper. Fish are swimming in my stomach. I place a hand over my empty stomach, missing the feeling of knowing my baby was growing inside of me.

  Dad scrubs at his face with his hands. “Don’t, okay. Just leave things alone.”

  “Explain. Now,” I demand. I’m starting to f
reak out. Mason can’t be Trent’s brother. If so, that could mean… I grab a nearby trashcan and empty my stomach contents inside, gagging.

  “Calm down. All you need to know is you and Mason are not blood related. You just share a brother. If he finds out, what do you think he’ll do to me? Huh? He’ll finally figure out the real reason his mother left him, abandoned him. Don’t bring that shit up for him again,” he says, warning me.

  “Who cares!” I scream at him, “I will be telling my husband, and you can’t stop me.”

  My father’s face turns dark, and he leans over his desk. “How do you think your husband would react to knowing that you’ve been keeping secrets from him for years? How about the fact that you also know exactly where Eden is.”

  My face pales. “What?” I whisper.

  “You tell him about Trent, and I will let him know you’ve known all this time about Eden.” He sits back in his chair with a small smirk. “Let’s not forget the fact that Lilly knows as well. What would that do to her and Vincent’s relationship?” He looks so proud, so smug. I’m sure he is feeling high and mighty behind his desk.

  I look down at my hands and try to force myself to stay seated, instead of lunging across his desk to strangle him. If Jasper, Vinny, or Mason find out Lilly and I have known about Eden all this time, it would destroy everything. “I’ll keep the damn secret, but I’m not shutting out Trent,” I say, getting off my chair. I walk out of his office, slamming the door behind me. Perfect. Just perfect.

  Hilary’s been secretive lately. I never really noticed how much time she spent with Trent because he just moved back almost a year ago. I’ve seen them having lunch and coffee together. It looks innocent enough, and I know she hates when I get jealous, but for the last three months, every Wednesday, like clockwork, I follow her to his house. He lives only two blocks away from us. I’ve noticed, on warmer nights, she walks, but nights like tonight, when it’s fuckin’ cold, she drives.

  Every time I look in the window, of course that makes me feel fuckin’ pervy, they are just laughing, watching TV, and eating popcorn or sometimes pizza. I don’t get it. She could be doing that shit at home with me or with Lilly.

  One night last week she slept over. I couldn’t see into the house with the lights off, and I couldn’t break in because of his damn alarm system, but I waited around. I watched her leave in the morning, rushing out with a coffee, but not before Trent kissed her fuckin’ temple and they hugged. It took all my strength not to end them both right then and there. She didn’t even bother to tell me she wasn’t coming home. Guess she doesn’t care.

  That proved it. My bitch of a wife is cheating on me. Well, fuck that. Tonight I’ll catch her, really fuckin’ catch her. Let me see her try and talk her way out of it this time. With Bryce, I believed him when he said nothin’ was going on.

  Hilary lost our child, and I wasn’t around but Bryce was. All he did was talk to her; he was there when she lost the baby, so he was who she went to just to talk about it. I understood that shit. I didn’t like it, but I got it. I didn’t make it very easy for her to turn to me; that was my mistake, but this is hers. She’s got another thing coming if she thinks I’ll forgive this bullshit.

  “Hey, man, where you rushing off to? Card night. Vic wants everyone here,” Vinny calls out after me as I storm out the clubhouse doors.

  “Got shit to take care of. I’ll be back soon,” I throw over my shoulder as I start my bike. Only if I don’t go to jail for murder tonight, I think as I’m riding over to Trent’s place. Parking my bike, it seems I’ve beat her here. Hilary’s car isn’t here, and it’s too damn cold for her to walk. Time to get this show on the road.

  I knock on Trent’s door, shoving my hands in my pockets so I don’t just haul off and punch the fucker. I’d like to choke the fuckin’ piece of shit right now.

  “You’re early,” I hear him say as he opens the door.

  “Surprise, motherfucker. Plans have changed.”

  He looks at me, shocked. “What are you doing here?”

  “What the fuck are you doin’ with my wife? You fuckin’ her?” I growl at him.

  He rolls his eyes at me. “Really none of your business,” he says with a smirk.

  With that, I punch the fucker and shove him into the house, slamming the door shut. “You fuckin’ sit right there. I’m waiting for my wife, and I’m gonna find out what the fuck is going on,” I say to him.

  I watch him grab his cell and put it to his ear. “Yeah, hey, you coming tonight?” he says, his voice shaking a bit. “Okay, good. See you soon. Love you. Bye.”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Who’d you just call?”

  “Hilary,” he says, not looking at me.

  I clench my jaw. How the fuck could she do this to me, to us? I’ve never once touched another woman since we’ve been together, and here she is, sharing I love yous with fuckin’ Trent. I grab his throat and squeeze it tight, not caring whether he lives or dies. “Love her,” I grit through clenched teeth, spitting in his face. “What in the fuck would you know about loving my wife, motherfucker?” His feet are kicking out, his face red as a beet.

  I hear her car pull into the driveway, and I let him go and make my way to the front door while he’s gasping for air.

  I pull up to Trent’s house, hoping everything is okay. When he called me, he sounded bad. If Mason finds out I’m here, all hell will break loose. He’s already accused me of cheating on him once with Trent, forbidding me to even look at the guy.

  I hate keeping this secret about Trent being my brother- well, my half-brother, from everyone. It sucks. It’s hard, but to protect the image of my family, I have to do this.

  Just another damn secret to keep from Mason, since the big one I have is about Eden. Only Lilly and I know where she is, what’s she’s doing, and of course, that she is going to pop out a set of twins.

  Each day that passes, the guys get pissier. Lilly and I are finding it harder and harder to even breathe Eden’s name. It’s been six months already; the more time that passes, the harder it gets.

  Getting out, I wrap my jacket tight around me and walk up to the front door. It swings open before I even get to the first step. “Hey, Trent, I came as fast as I could,” I say, not looking up as I carefully walk up the slippery, ice covered steps.

  “I knew you were fuckin’ cheating on me.” I snap my head up to see Mason standing there with anger seeping off him.

  “Mason, it’s not like that,” I tell him. I wish so badly that I could just tell him everything right now, get it all out in the open and off my chest. But I can’t. They aren’t my secrets to tell.

  “No? This is the third time you’ve been here this month, always sneaking here after dark. If it’s not what it seems, then tell me, what the fuck is it?” His chest is puffed out, and his shoulders are throwing off anger in waves. Mason seems to have a hard time controlling his anger these days. He scares me.

  I shake my head. “I can’t tell you,” I whisper. I’m afraid of what he’ll do either way. We can’t continue on this path.

  “Fuck you, cunt! We’re over. I’ll send you some divorce papers. Don’t need your goddamn cheating ass in my life.” He moves from the front door, shoving me down the steps. I cry out as I hit the cement, my wrist throbbing where I put it out to catch myself. For a minute, he stands over me, my blood running cold. Thankfully, he just walks away.

  Tears are streaming down my face as I hear him roar off on his bike. “Hil?” I hear.

  “It’s okay, Trent,” I say, crying. I’m plagued with shock and embarrassment that my brother’s just seen what a sham my marriage has become.

  He comes to me and helps me up, bringing me inside. “It’s not okay. You should have told him,” he says hoarsely.

  “I can’t. I can’t shame my family that way,” I say as I’m shaking my head and take a seat by him on the sofa.

  “It wouldn’t be shaming the family if you told your husband,” he tells me. “He also shouldn’t hav
e fucking touched you like that.”

  “It’s not the first time,” I whisper as I hold my wrist and wince. I look up at him and see blood dried at his lip and marks around his throat. “What happened?”

  “Mason,” He says softly, resting his head on my shoulder in an endearing manner.

  “I’m so sorry, Trent,” I whisper.

  “Don’t worry about it, but I mean it- you need to tell him, Hil. He’ll understand. I highly doubt he’ll gossip about it. However, if he puts his fucking hands on you ever again, I don’t care who he is or what he could do to me. I’ll kill him.”

  I know he wouldn’t gossip, but I made a promise to my dad. He’s worried that when Mason finds out, he’ll lose the relationship he has with him. Mason and my dad have always been somewhat close. I’ve never understood it, but Mason’s own father died years ago. My father’s been like a second father to him.

  Taking in a deep breath, I let it out. “I’m gonna go find him, talk to him a little. Hopefully, he’ll let me talk. You really think he’ll be cool about it all?” I could tell Mason as long as he doesn’t tell anyone he knows. I won’t let my father hold Eden over my head. Despite everything, I love my husband, and I’m afraid if I don’t fix this now, I’ll have lost him for good.

  Trent gives me a hug. “I’m sure he’ll be understanding, sis.”

  Saying goodbye, I get back in my car and head toward the clubhouse. I know that’s where he is; it’s card night. At least that’s what they call it.

  I don’t bother to look back after I tell her it’s over. I thought I’d get to Trent’s house before her, give her a surprise. I always thought her and Bryce had a thing behind my back, but he put me in my place and proved it all wrong. I was glad for that. But this shit with Trent... they both say it’s not what it seems, but no one wants to fess up. Fuck that.

  I’m done with this shit. She wants to fuck around on me? She can have at it now. Fuck her! I drive straight to the clubhouse and see that the party is in full swing. Jasper’s over by the pool tables on a sofa with a few whores, not really paying attention to any of them as they rub all up against him. Zippo is at Lilly’s, since he usually avoids the parties. That motherfucker is pussy whipped. Lilly leads him around by his pecker. I’m surprised Vic lets him off so easily. I think he only keeps him around because he’s important to Jasper and me.