UnBreak This Heart

by Dawn Martens

  Vic gives me a chin lift when he sees I’m here as requested. He’s engrossed in a game of poker with a whore on each knee. I go to the bar and tell Bruce to get me a bottle of Jack. Taking it from him, I give him a nod, and grab a blonde that is half naked on the dance floor, dragging her off with me to my room. I don’t care who she is as long as she makes me forget. We get in my room, and I sling the old covers off the bed and drag her onto the mattress with me.

  “Um, I thought you had an Old Lady?” she says, looking at me, confused.

  “Don’t speak. Get naked and wrap those lips around my cock,” I tell her. She doesn’t waste another moment. She has my dick out and her lips wrapped around the head, getting me hard. I chug on my bottle of Jack as my length stretches down her throat. She doesn’t even break pace when the tip hits the back of her throat. Bitch is a pro. Whore knows exactly what to do to get me off. The blonde’s head is bobbin’ up and down as she sucks and milks my cock, teasing my balls with her skillful fingers.

  I’m about to shoot my load down her throat when she stops sucking and asks me to fuck her. I bend her tight ass over the bed, quickly roll on the condom she had thrown on my bed when she came in, and slam into her from behind as I press her head down in the mattress. I keep seeing visions of Hilary and Trent- him kissing her head, her sneaking to his place. As I pump faster and harder into this bitch, I’m still trying to forget. I slap her ass and pull her hair, just as I would to Hilary. I punish this whore, hitting her cheeks over and over again, ignoring her cries for me to stop hitting her.

  Just as I’m about to come in this bitch, my door bursts open, and I’m staring into Hilary’s tear filled eyes.

  “Wow, so you think I’m cheating, and yet here you are,” Hilary says. “Funny, every time you accused me, it was probably just you. You’ll have your divorce papers next week,” she says while walking out, slamming the door behind her.

  I look down and see the carnage of what I have done. ”Fuck, I’m sorry.” I don’t know what to say as she rolls away from me crying.

  Victor is standing in my doorway. “Knew I saw something special in you, boy.”

  With tears streaming down my face, I manage to make it back to my house before Mason. Running inside, I grab the suitcases from the garage and rush into my room to pack as much shit as possible. I’m leaving every memory of the two of us behind. My wedding ring gets snagged on one of my sweaters as I try to zip the last bag. With tears in my eyes and a pain in my chest, I slip the symbol of our commitment from my finger and place it where I know he will find it—next to his bottle of Jack Daniels. I get what I came for and hurry to load my bags in my car. I doubt he’ll show, but just in case, I want to be gone if he does. I’m not giving him a chance to do his worst and put his hands on me again.

  Mason still isn’t home when I’m locking up the house, which just tells me that he really doesn’t care. Fuck him.

  At least now I don’t have to lie to him when I leave to go be with Eden when she has her twins. I wasn’t sure how I was going to pull that off, but now I don’t have to worry about it. Mason and I are a thing of the past. I’m so done with him and all of the shit that comes with being his wife. I turned a blind eye to so many wrongs, but no more. I’m getting away from here. Maybe Eden had the right idea in leaving and getting the fuck away from here.

  I can’t believe he would do that- accuse me of cheating, when that’s exactly what he did himself. I throw my bags into my trunk quickly. I start to wonder if he was ever faithful to me at all, but guess that doesn’t even matter now, considering what I just witnessed. Wiping my tears, I put my car into reverse and take a hard look at the home we’ve shared, then I back out of the driveway, vowing to never come back. This is it.

  I pull up to Lilly’s house, so I can say goodbye to her in person. I say some things that I’m ashamed to have said to her, all because I’m hurting right now. I tell her Vinny is probably doing the same shit, sleeping around. I’m hurting her; I know I am. I feel like shit for doing that, and I hope she won’t hold it against me.

  Instead of flying, I decide on a road trip; I just bought my car not long ago, and I don’t want to part with it just yet. But before I do, I decide to drive to my bank and clean it out. I don’t want to have to use my debit or credit cards and have Mason track me down.

  It takes four days of driving for me to finally make it to New Brunswick. I pull over at a rest stop and get out my phone.

  “Hello?” Eden says.

  “Hey, babes, it’s Hil. I’m, uh, here and was wondering if I could get your address,” I say hesitantly.

  “Are you serious? Oh my God, yes!” She rattles off the address, and I hang up, telling her I’ll be another hour or so.

  I had plans to visit Eden closer to her due date and stay for a few weeks to help her out, but now I can stay with her for a while until school starts back up in the fall. I don’t have to lie to Mason about anything now.

  I walk up the flight of stairs to Eden’s apartment and knock on the door. It swings wide open seconds later, and we’re squealing like fan girls over Johnny Depp. “Holy shit, you’re fucking huge!” I say, my eyes bugging out.

  She crosses her arms. “Oh gee, thanks,” she says with an eye roll.

  “You look great, Edie,” I say with a genuine smile.

  “Let’s get you set up in your room, and then we’re talking. I got a frantic phone call from Lilly not long before you pulled up,” she says, eyeing me.

  I sigh and nod. I get my bags put into the spare room then follow Eden to the couch and take a seat. “Where do you want me to start?”

  “How about since the moment I left. From what Lilly’s said, it hasn’t been easy for you guys,” she says, looking down.

  I tell her about the changes in Mason; how he’s hurt me a few times and accused me of cheating. I don’t tell her about Trent, though. I want to, but then I know I’ll have to bring up my father’s blackmail, and I don’t need her feeling guilty right now.

  “I’m so sorry, Hilary. I can’t believe he touched you like that,” she says while looking at me with sympathy in her eyes.

  “I never thought he would ever do those things. When I married the guy, I knew he had a temper, but for him to actually lose his cool like that with me? Eden, he had this look in his eyes, like it wasn’t even him. I’ve forgiven him for a lot, but seeing him with that woman…it was too much. It’s more than I can bear to take. I’ll never forgive him, Eden. Never.”

  “He hurt Lilly too,” Eden says quietly.

  I still and look at her. “What?” I shout.

  She nods. “He was looking for you, caged her in against her car and started to choke her. She has a little bruising.”

  “What the hell is wrong with him? I don’t get it, but you know what? Mason and I are through, and I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

  I can’t find her anywhere. Fuckin’ hell. She’s gotta be hiding out somewhere. Fuck! I didn’t bother going to our house after she left the clubhouse; I figured that would be the last place she’d be. I didn’t even have a chance to kick the whore out before she ran off crying.

  Don’t know what’s gotten into me, but seeing my wife with another man fucked with my head. I go over to Trent’s to see if she’s seeking comfort in his arms. Her car isn’t here, but that doesn’t mean shit. I don’t bother with knocking this time. My size twelve boot kicks through the door, splintering the frame.

  “What the fuck are you doing, man? Are you crazy?” Trent storms from the kitchen, ready to throw down.

  “You really need to ask that? Hilary here?”

  “I wouldn’t tell you if she was! You’re a real piece of shit, you know that?” He gets up in my face, and now is not the time for him to be fuckin’ around with me. I shove him forcefully in the chest and hold him against the wall with my arm on his throat, effectively cutting off his air.

  “Don’t you ever think you can dictate shit to me about my wife, unless you’re prepared to g
o to ground, motherfucker! This is your final warning!” I let him go, and he slides to the floor while holding his throat. “Fuckin’ pussy!” I spit on him and search from room to room with no luck.

  After I search Trent’s fuckin’ house, since I figure she may have come back here, I head home. I should have come here first, it looks like. Most of the closet and dresser has been cleared out. I can’t believe she just took off like that. First Eden, now Hilary—crazy fuckin’ Houdini women keep pulling disappearing acts. I need to fix this, but after seeing what she did, Hilary will never forgive me, and I can’t rightly blame her. But damn if I don’t love her. She makes me crazy.

  Rage bubbles through my veins, and I lose my shit. Anything that is in my path, I fuck it up. If it reminds me of Hilary, it gets smashed. As I grab my bottle of Jack Daniels, something catches my eye on the counter next to the bottle—her motherfuckin’ wedding band! Shoving the ring in my pocket, I sit on the couch like a wounded dog with his tail between his legs. Fuck marriage. Fuck Hilary. I get drunk to the point that I pass out—unable to feel a fuckin’ thing.

  I’m taking Eden to her doctor’s appointment today. She’s going to see the doctor that is performing her C-section. Her stomach is huge; I can’t believe she is having twins. She goes back to give her urine sample, and they get her weight. We flip through magazines together and gush over all the cute stuff we want to get for the babies.

  They allow me to go back with her when they call her name. She waddles slowly to the exam room; it’s almost comical if I weren’t feeling so bad for her with how swollen her feet are. I help her get situated on the table. The doctor comes in, but then she starts talking about getting fixed, and I lose it.

  “What the fuck, Eden? You’re eighteen! You can’t get fixed.” What if she decides she wants more kids later on? What if she meets someone and they want a baby with her? She can’t possibly know that she won’t ever want that. I almost tell her about me losing my baby, but I figure it will only upset her, so I keep my pain to myself. I haven’t given up on having children, but that will require a man, and that is something I don’t want. Fuck men.

  “Hilary, this is my one time. If one day I ever move on from Jasper, I don’t want kids with another man. I wouldn’t want these twins to think I loved my other children more. I can’t do that,” she says, almost pleading with me to understand.

  “Yeah, but Eden, getting fixed? You can’t do that. Don’t you have to be twenty-five for that?” I ask while looking at the doctor.

  “Well, yes, that’s typically what it is. However, we can do something less permanent. We can just put clips in, and if she ever decides to have more children, we would just take them out,” he says. “It may cause a bit of scarring, and it can make it more difficult to become pregnant after, but it’s a viable option.”

  I see Eden chewing on her bottom lip. “I can do the clamps. That’s fine,” she says quietly.

  I throw my hands up. “This shouldn’t be legal. She’s eight-fucking-teen,” I seethe.

  “Ma’am, she’s an adult. As long as she knows all the risks involved and signs the consent form, she can have this done,” the nurse informs me smugly. Bitch. If it wasn’t for her having health care provided by the damn government, this shit would be highly expensive. Thank fuck we don’t live in the States.

  The appointment finishes up quickly, and the doctor schedules a date to perform Eden’s C-section. We leave the appointment with me still pissed the fuck off at her and drive to the lawyer’s office just down the street from the Eden’s doctor. I made an appointment with them last week.

  “Are you sure you’re good with this, Hilary? Maybe if you just talk to him?” Eden says.

  I shake my head. “No way. That bastard accused me of cheating when he was the one doing it. I’m not putting up with that shit.”

  I hear her sigh, but I don’t care. I’m still pissed at her about getting fucking fixed at only eighteen.

  I pull up to the front of the building and pay the meter. Eden follows quietly behind me as we walk inside.

  “Hi, how can I help you?” a bubbly redhead asks as we walk in.

  “Got an appointment with Frank,” I tell her.

  She nods. “Just take a seat, and he’ll be with you shortly,” she says, smiling.

  I’m called into his office a minute later, and we get down to business. “You really want nothing?” he asks me, surprised.

  “Not a damn thing. He can even have the house. I just want my status to say single,” I snap at him. I don’t want anything from my marriage to Mason to taint my future. I want a clean slate.

  “Hilary,” Eden says quietly.

  “Okay, since this is in Alberta, I’m going to have to fax these papers to someone out there and get them delivered. He should have them in about a week or so.”

  I nod. “Good.”

  I leave the office feeling like shit. I really hope I’m making the right choice. He did say this is what he wanted, though. At least he’ll be happy, right? He obviously wasn’t happy in our marriage, if he constantly thought I was cheating on him and then was cheating on me.

  Bastard.

  Hilary has been gone for two fuckin’ weeks, and I don’t think she’s in town. I go to the University to find out if they know, but they just tell me that classes let out already and won’t start back until in the fall. I want to punch the fuck out of the bitch; she won’t give me anything. No matter what I ask, she says that she doesn’t know shit.

  Fuck that. She has to know something, but I keep my cool. I don’t need this uppity cunt calling the cops on my ass. I get on my bike and drive around, looking for her car. I see a familiar car- not the one I’m looking for but close enough.

  I find Lilly in the parking lot of the grocery store, and for the third time in my life, I put my fuckin’ hands on a woman that isn’t mine. What the fuck is wrong with me? I figure she’ll be the person that knows, but she doesn’t. I even threaten to kill her. She’s so scared of me by the time I leave. What the fuck is wrong with me? Guess I’m still too keyed up from that bitch at the University, but that don’t make it right. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel like a loser, but at the same time, all I care about is finding Hilary. Nothing else matters.

  I end up at the clubhouse, wanting to get fuckin’ wasted. My wife left me, and not one damn person knows where the hell she is. No one will tell me a goddamn thing. Nothin’ left to do but say fuck it, that my marriage was a waste, chuck it up and throw it in the fuck it bucket.

  I’m on shot number four when I hear my name. “Mason Harris?”

  I turn in my seat and see some fuck in a suit followed by a cop walk up to me. “Yeah?” I ask, my eyes narrowing. Fuck, that snotty bitch called the cops on my ass. Fuckin’ cunt will be next on my list if I’m picked up for some bullshit.

  He hands over a huge as fuck envelope and says, “You’ve been served,” then quickly walks away.

  Served by what? I open the envelope and lose it. All I see is red. Fuckin’ divorce papers. Hilary has another thing comin’. I’m not signing this shit! Jasper punches me, then Vinny punches me, but I’m too angry and too drunk to do anything.

  I barely even remember him clockin’ me. I knew the minute he went to see Lilly that he would know what I had done— I deserve an ass beating.

  *~*

  I’m trying to work up the courage to walk into the church. I’ve always been somewhat close with Henry. He’s looked after me like one of his own and has always been there for me whenever I’ve done something completely wrong. I can talk to him without judgment. Knowing I fucked up with Hilary, this might be the one time he will judge.

  Finally finding my nerve and opening the door to the church, I step in and call out for him.

  “Mason, my boy, what brings you by?” he says, smiling.

  “Need to chat. Not club related this time,” I tell him.

  He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Come into the office. We’ll talk there.”

&nb
sp; I walk ahead of him, and he shuts the door once he’s in, taking a seat on the couch that he has in the room.

  “Okay, spill it. What’s going on?”

  “Hilary, she left me. I…uh…” Shit, why is this so hard? “It all started when I found out that Bryce and Hilary were working out together, and I accused her of cheating on me. When she told me she was pregnant, I, uh, hurt her,” I say, ashamed.

  “What else?” He presses for more as if he already knows what I’m about to tell him, which is odd since Hilary gets all weird when it comes to her dad these days. Not sure what is going on there because she doesn’t talk to me.

  “Then she lost the baby, and I snapped again. I didn’t want the kid to begin with, but when she lost it, I felt like it was my fault. She ended up going to Bryce for comfort, just to talk. I, again, accused her of cheating, and I ended up hitting her.”

  I tell him more, about making it right, or in my way, trying to. Then, when I tell him about seeing her and Trent together, his body stills. “Fuck, just because she was cheating with him, I shouldn’t have touched her. I should have just walked away, but I shoved her down the fuckin’ steps,” I say with anguish.

  He squeezes my shoulder. “People do things in rage that they deeply regret all the time. I’m sure once you go home, you’ll be able to talk things through. However, I’m sorry my daughter’s been stepping out on you.”

  “We can’t talk. That’s the problem- she took off, and I can’t find her.”

  “What do you mean, son?” He looks at me with angry eyes, and guilt consumes me. One of the only men I truly respect has trusted me with his daughter, and I’ve failed them both. I tell him all of her shit is gone and how no one’s seen her. He thinks I just need to give her some time. He says she’ll come back, but I get the feeling this is it. She’s gone and never coming back to this town or to me.