UnBreak This Heart

by Dawn Martens

  I’m helping Eden pack her hospital bag, since we’ll be leaving in about twenty minutes to take her to have her babies. I told her I would help her out for the first two weeks after the C-section, but I really need to get to Calgary to make sure I’m signed up for the right course load, and to make sure the apartment I rented by the internet is in good shape.

  They didn’t want to rent to me via phone or internet, but I offered up a year in advance and they okayed it. I hate taking money from Mason to do this, but I don’t have any other choice.

  “Okay, everything’s done. I think we’re good to go,” I hear Eden shout from her room.

  She comes into the living room with a hesitant smile on her face. “You okay?” I ask her.

  “Yeah, nervous and scared, but I’m okay.”

  “You’ll do great. Plus, we already have everything set up for you until the twins are a month old. Tori will watch them until a spot at the daycare opens up, and you’re signed up for fall classes. You’ll be fine.” Tori, well Victoria, is Lilly’s cousin. Her family has helped Eden out ever since she ran off. She’s been amazing with helping get things done.

  Eden, however, tries not to ask for help, but I already gave Tori a run down and a spare key because I know Eden will turn down help.

  While Eden is getting prepared for the C-section, I call Lilly and fill her in on what’s going on. I’m so excited. We may not be sisters by blood, but Eden and Lilly are like my sisters, and today I’m becoming an aunt. When I hear my name called, I say goodbye and hang up the phone with her.

  “It’s good for you to come in now. The spinal worked. When we get in there, you’ll need to stay by her head,” the nurse tells me.

  “Okay, cool.” I’m nervous, probably more than Eden. I’ve still been trying to talk her out of getting fixed on a daily basis, but she hasn’t budged. Eden’s just so damn stubborn. Her and Mason are a lot alike in that respect. That’s probably why the two of them were so close growing up.

  I’m ushered into the room and see Eden lying down. Her arms are strapped to some weird board, and a blue tarp is draped over her. I make sure I don’t see anything behind the tarp, because blood and guts would totally make me pass out.

  “How are you, babes?” I ask her.

  She smiles. “I’m good. I don’t feel a thing.” She looks excited. I am too. I can’t wait to get my hands on the babies- well, once they are all cleaned up and stuff.

  It takes a bit, but soon enough, I hear the cries of baby number one. “It’s a girl!” the doctor announces, holding her up and handing her to the nurse.

  I’m smiling at Eden as she tries to look past me to see her baby. “What are you naming her?” I ask.

  “Jessica,” she says with tears running down her face.

  Thirteen minutes later, the doctor announces, “It’s a boy!” He hands the second baby, a wailing boy, off to the other nurse.

  “One of each. Nice,” I say, smirking. “Name?”

  “Ethan.” She sniffles, looking lost in thought. I’m sure her mind is with Jasper. I know what she says, but I know she has to wish he were here with her right now. As fucked up as it sounds, if it were me, I’d want Mason here, even if I do hate him. A dad deserves to be there for the birth of his child. I haven’t told Eden much about Jasper, but these kids… I think he could use them in his life, from what Mason and Lilly have said about him.

  “They’re perfect, Edie,” I tell her, kissing her forehead. I stand up to leave the room, but then I make the terrible mistake of glancing back at her as I walk out of the room. There it is, her stomach wide open, blood, everything, and before I know it, I’m out—my ass meets the floor.

  I wake up in a bed and am confused. Then I quickly realize what happened. “Never should have looked back,” I mutter to myself. I let the nurse who’s watching me know that I’m okay, and she takes me to see Eden and the babies.

  Eden did so amazing; she remains in the hospital for three days, and when she comes home, both Tori and I make sure she’s comfortable and help her out as much as we can. Before long, it’s time for me to leave. I hate saying goodbye to her and these sweet babies, but it’s time for me to face my life and get back to school.

  *~*

  I’ve been in Calgary for a month now; school starts back up next week. I miss Eden and those kids. The apartment I rented turned out to be nicer than the pictures on the internet showed, so I’m grateful for that. It has hardwood flooring and a dishwasher. The walls are newly painted, and it’s close to campus. My neighbors seem nice enough- Kyle and Kurt. I’m not certain, but I think they’re an item. They’ve invited me over for dinner a few times; it was nice to make new friends, but nothing will ever compare to the bond I have with Eden and Lilly. I hate that we’re all so far apart now. I thought the three of us would marry the guys and all be together all the time, that we’d always stay a tight circle of friends, but we couldn’t be further from that if we tried. No thanks to life.

  I’ve been out to town to grab a single girl dinner—Chinese takeout.

  What I didn’t plan on was coming home to finding a letter addressed to me- not Hilary Harris, but it’s addressed to Hilary Devaughn. I’m confused at first, because no one knows I already made the change back to my maiden name.

  When I open it, a shit load of confetti and my rings come scattering out. I pull out a letter that’s buried in the confetti.

  H

  You ain’t fucking divorcing me. I won’t wait around for you, but when you come back, and I know you eventually will, I’ll make you beg for me. But don’t worry, I’ll take you back once you work for it.

  M

  Fuck him!

  I gave him what he wanted—cocksucker. I filed for the divorce that he obviously wanted when he stuck his dick in that slut. I gave him everything, didn’t ask for a thing. Why is he doing this? My life is finally getting some normalcy, and he isn’t getting in my way ever again. I toss his letter in the trash, plop down on the couch with my food, and eat my feelings. Fucking men! I hate them all. They are only good for one thing—getting on my nerves. Thank God for sex toys. If I didn’t find vaginas so unappealing, I’d turn lesbian.

  2 years later

  “Reaper,” I hear from my spot at the bar in the clubhouse. I toss back my shot of liquor.

  “What?” I say, not turning around. I get Bruce to pour me another round.

  “Gotta talk, man. It’s important,” Jasper says, looking serious. Maybe he knows somethin’ about my bitch of a wife.

  Sighing, I gulp back my tequila and move off the stool, following him into his room. He checks the hall for ears before closing his door. Once he feels comfortable enough to talk, he fills me in.

  “Shit is going down next shipment- raid, set up. You need to be clear, brother. I don’t want you caught up in that shit,” he tells me quietly.

  I let out a laugh. “You want to save me or some shit?” I do things for this club I ain’t proud of. They don’t call me The Reaper for nothing. Who the fuck does he think he is? What, now that he’s clean, he’s some do-gooder? I don’t need this shit from him of all people.

  “Brother, we’ve been tight since we were kids, but ever since Hilary left town, you’ve gone off the grid. I have a few brothers backing me up. We’re turning this club around,” he tells me.

  “Well, aren’t you just an angel? What kind of MC would this be, then, huh? No pussy, no drugs, no guns, we gonna be called the Pussies MC?” I let out a loud mean laugh.

  “I just wanted to give you a heads up, man. Hilary fucked you up, I can see that, but things will be different around here,” he tells me casually. Yeah, right. Believe that shit when I see it.

  “Hilary fucked me up, huh? What about you? Eden took off on you, and you started fuckin’ every whore in this club, even got yourself hooked on coke. Don’t fuckin’ talk to me about that shit,” I growl out.

  “It ain’t about me right now, man. I know life went to shit, but this ain’t how I want my life to b
e. I accepted that Eden’s gone. Hilary cheated on you and left town. I would think that’s what you wanted, not to have to see her every damn day, but instead, you mope around more since she left than when you found out she really was cheating,” he says, getting in my face.

  I shove him off me. “I don’t need your fuckin’ pity or any in your face bullshit, man, but thanks for the warning about the raid.” I move out the door and slam it shut behind me.

  I go into the main area and nod to the prospect behind the bar. He quickly brings me over the bottle of tequila and a shot glass.

  I grab it and make off to my room just down from Jasper’s. After my fourth shot, there is a knock on the door. “What?” I growl out, not wanting to be disturbed.

  The door opens slightly, and in pokes a bleach blonde head. “Want some company?” Lacey asks, purring. “Lisa and I are up for some fun tonight,” she says after licking her lips.

  I put the shot glass down next to the bottle on the floor. “Get in here. Close the door.” Both girls come sauntering in, each wearing nothin’ but a thong.

  Taking my jeans off, I sit on the edge of the bed. They go down on their knees on either side of me, swirling their tongues together over the head of my dick—looking like the damn bopsy twins. I lay back on my arms for support, enjoying the sensation of two for the price of one. They continue to lick and suck my length, teasing my balls. I shoot my load down Lacey’s throat and invite them onto the bed with me. It doesn’t have much room for the three of us, but for what I have planned, we don’t need much space.

  Lacey goes to sit on my face, but I shake my head. “My mouth doesn’t fuck whores. Want to be mouth fucked, she does it,” I tell her. She looks disappointed, but quickly lies down on the bed, and Lisa is on her knees with her head down, devouring Lacey’s pussy. Rolling on a condom, I take Lisa from behind. Don’t take long to get them off and for me to have seconds and thirds. These two are willing to do whatever the fuck I want, and yet there’s only one woman I really want.

  “What’s up, bitch monkey?” I ask into the phone after seeing Lilly’s name pop up on the screen.

  She chuckles. “Not much. Just wondering how you are?”

  “Good here. I just won my first court case. I feel sort of dirty about it, since I’m almost positive the guy was guilty, but hey, it’s my job,” I say with a sigh.

  “You shouldn’t have gotten into that career then. Should have practised family law or something.”

  “Whatevers, I make more cash this way,” I say, grinning. “But I have more good news. I got accepted at your father’s law firm! I probably won’t have to take on bad guys anymore.”

  Lilly chuckles. “Well, that’s good.” She pauses briefly, then asks in a low voice, “Have you heard from Eden lately?”

  “Yeah, she called me last night,” I say, sighing. “I wish she would just move here with me, so I can help her out with those kids. I understand she doesn’t want to be near Jasper, but at least living here is closer to both of us.”

  “Yeah, she’s stubborn like that. Everyone knows where you are. She’s probably worried they would find her through you.”

  “Hey, bitch, gotta go.” I let her know there is a knock on my door.

  It’s Kurt from next door, inviting me over to dinner. I really hope they aren’t trying to set me up with another friend of his and Kyle’s. Last week, they asked me over to dinner and ambushed me. They have this friend, George, that they think is perfect for me. I’m not ready to date. I don’t need a man- period. George is nice; he’s good looking and safe, but I’m just not interested. I’m sure Mason has long moved on, but truth be told, I’m not over him. I’m not sure I ever will be. He broke my heart.

  I didn’t bother to warn the brothers about what Jasper said about the raid. I ain’t a fuckin’ snitch. I don’t think Jasper can accomplish the shit he thinks he will, but we’ll see. If this raid is successful, I don’t know what I’ll do. This life is all I’ve known for years. I was patched in at sixteen. Most prospects don’t start that until eighteen, but Vic saw promise in me so started me early. I was officially patched in at eighteen when I made my first kill. Years later, Hilary fuckin’ ruined me.

  After she took off, I tracked her down. She was getting’ cozy with some asshole at a law firm in Edmonton, all smilin’ and shit—I knew she was a fuckin’ whore. Why I didn’t see it before I caught her with Trent I’ll never know. Stupid, blind maybe.

  But I learned never to trust a fuckin’ woman again. Eden left, shit with Hilary got bad, and having to hear about Vinny and Lilly’s on again off again bullshit is doing my goddamn head in.

  “Brothers, stake the place out. Make sure the perimeter is secure. Put snipers in place, in case shit goes south,” Vic says, giving orders.

  Everyone takes off and gets into position. Vic turns to me. “Reaper, my boy, you know where to be. We make the trade, then you take out Jimmy’s wife.”

  I nod and walk off to stake the area out.

  I watch from my spot in the apartment across the street, my gun pointed on the area of the car’s gas tank in case they double cross. Vic told me I would know when I saw Jimmy’s wife. He gave me her description: bottle bleach blonde, fat, and wearin’ clothes three sizes too small. With that description, it’s no wonder the fucker cheats on her daily.

  I notice movement down the street from the meeting spot. Jimmy’s walking with a blonde, holding hands and smiling sweetly down at her. Shocks the fuck out of me with what I see- that woman is my mother.

  My cell vibrates with a text. I fish it out of my pocket and flip it open.

  As soon as Jimmy puts her in a taxi, follow her home. Take her out there. – P

  Vic must have known that woman was my mother, the woman that left my father and I with no one. That bitch murdered my baby brother, drowning him in the tub. She only got fuckin’ ninety bullshit days in jail.

  When she got out, she was different—withdrawn. Hilary’s father was trying to help her, but she ended up takin’ off about four months after she got out of prison. Before my dad died, the stories always changed. He kicked her out or she left; even now, I’m not sure what the real reason was. Did she leave us, or did Dad make her leave?

  I follow the car she got in and watch her walk into a small house in a quiet suburb. Bitch has been living the good life, it seems. She’s living in a two-story brick home with nice landscaping and a paved driveway, nothing like what I grew up in. Makes her look like Mary fuckin’ Sunshine.

  I sneak around the back and force entry as quietly as I can. I hear water running upstairs—she must be takin’ a bath. What better way to die? Kill her the same way she killed my brother. Looking around her kitchen, everything looks so pristine. I look down the hall, and it is lined with paintings of flowers and shit. She sure doesn’t have any pictures of her children on display.

  I creep up the steps and quietly make my way down the hall. The only light is the glow that is seeping from what must be the bathroom. I hear the water shut off, and then I move fast, startling her as I step into the bathroom.

  “Who are you?” she yells at me.

  “The son you didn’t fuckin’ murder,” I spit out with an evil grin. I scratch my chin, waiting for her to make the connection.

  “Mason?” she whispers out, taking a better look at me. I can see the recognition setting in.

  I pull out my gun and point it at her. “Mother,” I sneer with pure venom. To think I used to want her back in my life. I shake my head in disgust.

  “W-what are you doing here?” she stammers.

  “Club business,” I state firmly.

  “Mason, baby, put the gun away,” she says while trying to stand up out of the tub. Water is cascading down her form. I can hear the plopping noise coming from the leaky faucet, and count the number of drops as they hit the pool of water she stands in. She isn’t sure what to do, and I don’t know what to say to her. I can see my brother in her face; any doubt I had has vanished.

  �
��Don’t think so. See, you fucked everything up. First you kill my brother, and then you became a fuckin’ rat. Can’t have that shit,” I tell her, taking a step forward. “Lay down. Now.”

  “What are you going to do?” she asks me quietly but terrified.

  “Guess it’s mother like son. I’m gonna kill you the same fuckin’ way you killed Mark.” I put my gun in the back of my pants and kneel down by the tub while staring into her eyes. Sadness shines in the green flecks, regret maybe. Too little too late.

  “Mason, please, please don’t do this. I’m your mother,” she pleads with me, sounding desperate. “I have money. I can pay you, or I can leave and never look back. I’ll go so far you’ll never hear from me again. No one would have to know. Please. Just let me go. I gave you life. I brought you into this world. A mothers’ love never dies. Mason, I’ve always loved you, son,” she lies. Her words bear no weight and hold no emotion when she speaks of this so-called motherly love.

  “You stopped being my mother a long fuckin’ time ago.” I wrap my arms around her neck and push down. She’s clawing at my arms, struggling to try and get up out of the tub. Water is splashing everywhere as her legs flail around. Finally, after a while, she stops moving, and I release my grip on her.

  I stand up and realize I’m soaked. It was worth it, though. Bitch got what she deserved.

  I walk out of the back door, slamming it shut behind me.

  I wasn’t planning on going through with killing this bitch tonight, since the club is being raided, but once I realized who it was, well, I just had to finish this mission. Bitch got what she had fuckin’ coming. Good riddance.

  I hop on my bike and ride off. I need some time away from the fuckin’ club—away from everyone. The cold air should make me freeze, being my clothes are drenched, but right now, I feel fuckin’ numb. I don’t feel shit as I speed into the night, leaving everything behind.