UnBreak This Heart

by Dawn Martens

  1 Year later

  My phone by the bed rings, and I knock my bedside lamp over trying to reach it. “Shit!” I pick the phone up finally and answer. “Not sure who this is, but really, it’s the middle of the night. People are sleeping.”

  “I’m so sorry, Hilary, but I need your help.” Eden’s voice is frantic.

  I sit up in bed instantly. “What’s going on? Is it the kids?”

  “No, but I just found out my dad has another kid. She’s only ten months old. I need to go back. I need to make sure she’s safe from him,” she answers hurriedly.

  “Eden, maybe you should go to Jasper. He could help you,” I tell her. She doesn’t know about the turnaround in the club, or that Jasper’s the president of it. This is his thing; he protects kids. She should go to him. Lilly’s kept me in the loop about everything going on back home. I’m so damn happy with what the guys have done to the club, changing it from the hellhole it once was to doing something so amazing for others.

  “No, no, I can’t. This is where you come in. I need someone I can trust with my kids. I don’t want my father to know about them. I need them safe and away from him. Please, tell me you can take care of them?” she pleads with me.

  “You know I will, but are you sure you’ll be able to do that? Can you be away from your own kids?”

  “It’s what’s best right now. God only knows what my father will do to that baby if I’m not there. I need to do this. Please. I’ll come to you the minute I can with this baby, I promise. I’ll do whatever I can to help you out money wise for child care. Anything. Please?” she begs.

  “Edie, don’t worry. I have everything covered. When will they get here?” I ask.

  “I’ll be coming with them to get them settled. I have to call the airport and see what they have open for flights, and I’ll catch the first one out that I can.”

  “Okay, babe, call me and let me know, okay? I’ll get you guys from the airport.” We say goodbye as she promises to break away as often as she can to visit, and I put the phone back on the nightstand.

  What the hell have I just agreed to? Only good part, I suppose, is that the twins are potty trained, so no diapers. But still. Me taking care of two small children? I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this. I’m not exactly mothering material.

  *~*

  A month passes, then another, and before long it’s been a year. I take a look at the kids playing together in the living room, and I sigh. As much as I love these two, I’m worried about Eden.

  My phone rings, and I reach for it. “Hello?”

  “Hilary, oh my God! Hilary,” Eden says, sounding relieved.

  “Edie, fuck, babes, are you okay?” I ask her, worried.

  “No, no, I’m not. I took Glenna and ran, but I can’t come near you. I know Dad will stop at nothing to find us this time.” She quickly and quietly tells me what happened when she first went back and explains why she couldn’t get back to us.

  “Hun, you need to call the police, something,” I tell her.

  “I can’t, not right now, but I’m somewhat close. Can we meet up maybe, so I can see my babies and you can meet Glenna?” she asks hopefully.

  “Yeah, babe, we’ll do that this weekend,” I promise her and hang up after she tells me where to meet up with her.

  *~*

  We visited with Eden and Glenna a few times, but then nothing. I haven’t heard a word from her in six months now. I’m worried that Big Willy found her and Glenna. Why is this shit so hard? I wish I could do something. I could call the police, but then that would cause more problems, I’m sure, for Eden.

  *~*

  It’s been seven months since I last talked to Eden, and I finally get a phone call. “He found us, Hil!” she says, sobbing, and tells me what he’s done this time.

  “Edie, please, you need to do something. He’s going to end up killing you!” I plead with her. I feel so helpless. When I first saw Eden after she went back to her father, I don’t know who cried more, her or me- her for missing me and her kids, or me for seeing the marks all over her face. I also know about the other cuts and marks all over her body from her bastard father.

  “I can’t! I need to protect Glenna. I can’t leave her here. If I run away again and he finds me, he’ll kill us for sure. This was a warning.”

  I start crying. “Eden, please be safe. Please.” She vows to do everything in her power to be safe while protecting her baby sister.

  For another year, we meet up in secret on the weekends when her dad is too drunk to notice they are gone.

  I love Eden and these kids, but it’s been so long. I thought she would have found a way out of this by now. These kids, they need their mom, and I need to start living my own life too. My career is hectic; I work long hours. I feel like these kids are being raised by daycare. I’m at a loss as to what to do. Sometimes, I go weeks on end without a word from Eden. I’m always on edge, afraid something’s happened to her.

  I’m in my bay at the shop when Angel comes in. Can’t believe that fucker took what I said to heart. I snorted when I first found out, because a comment I made to him impacted him enough to not only change the club name, but also gave him a biker name. I wouldn’t really call it much of a biker name, but whatever. It suits him.

  He’s got a huge grin on his face, and his hand is holding some document.

  “What’s up?” I ask him.

  “We got approved. I filed to have our new MC name recognized throughout the country, and it’s been approved.”

  I feel my eyes bug out. “Holy shit, really?”

  “Yeah, a few other Satan’s Law charters are on board with the switch over too. We’ll also start handing over deeds to the strip clubs and all the other shit. Don’t need that stuff associated with our new club.”

  I nod, agreeing with him.

  After I murdered my mother, I took off for a while. I just rode and rode, even hid out at a cabin my dad used to rent out in the summer.

  I stayed at the cabin for a week before I decided to go and get Hilary. Enough was enough. The whole drive to her apartment, I had thoughts of what to say to her; that I was sorry and I’d never stray again. She was my fuckin’ life line.

  When I pulled up, I saw her enter the building with two men. What the fuck? She was laughing and hanging onto them. When I saw her lean up and kiss them both, I struggled with the need to run in there and kill those fuckers. Instead, I started my bike back up and headed back to the cabin. Fuck her.

  “How are you and Monica doing?” I ask him.

  He shakes his head. “She’s good. She keeps saying we should be together, but after the shit we went through, and her freaking out every time I mention something funny about Eden, I told her I can’t.”

  “Man, don’t tell me you’re still moping around over Eden. She’s been gone years now,” I tell him.

  “Yeah, I know, but every once in a while, something reminds me of her. I can’t help it.”

  Never thought I’d see the day we would go straight. I’ve heard Angel and Zippo many times over the years talking about changing the club around. Usually, Angel was high as a fuckin’ kite when he’d talk about it.

  It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. Some members tried fighting it; some simply tossed their cuts at him and left. The ones that remained were given options of owning the strip clubs the club itself owned. Angel ended up opening his own Mechanic shop and sent Zippo off to school in Calgary for classes. I finished my basic Journeyman Automotive just last month. Didn’t ever fuckin’ think I’d go back to school after living the club life, but I did it.

  Sure am damn proud of it too. I didn’t go to Calgary though, didn’t want to run into Hilary there, so I went to Edmonton instead.

  We had a few other members leave once we opened the doors for women to join us. Satan’s Law disbanded after a year of fighting the changes. Some went on to join the Untamed Angels Charters around the country, while others embraced the new lifestyle.

  Once word
got out about the changes, Angel was happier than I’ve ever seen him. We ended up getting a few cops in our club too. Breaks has been one of the best members—excellent tracker.

  T-bags joined up not long after we made our shit official.

  Some days, I wonder what Hilary would think of me now…working a real nine to five. The shit I did to her still haunts me. Even after everything, a part of me loves her. I miss her, though I shouldn’t. The bitch broke my heart. Sounds funny, but it’s true. Her cheating on me, fuckin’ hell—it cut me deep.

  Five Years Later

  Getting to the after school daycare program to pick up Jessica and Ethan, I’m tired. If I didn’t love Eden so damn much, I would ship them off to her on the next flight out. But I know what I’m doing is helping her out. Her father has been locked up for a while now, but she’s terrified that if he learns of her children, he’ll do something to them.

  She visits every single weekend, so that’s something at least. It’s also weird seeing her little sister, Glenna, playing with the twins, since they are a few years older than Glenna. When Jessica first understood the relationship, she declared, “There is no way I’m calling you Auntie Glenna, because that’s weird, and I’m older than you.”

  She is so much like Eden it’s scary, but she doesn’t look a thing like her except for her hair. She’s the spitting image of Jasper. Ethan is broody like his father, but he looks just like Eden. I have a feeling those two will be trouble as they get older.

  “Aunt Hilary!” Jessica shouts from the table that she’s doing her homework on.

  I smile. “Hey, baby.”

  Her smile falls. “I’m not a baby. Don’t start with me,” she says.

  I giggle. Seriously, she’s just like Eden.

  “Hey, Auntie H,” Ethan says, coming toward me after putting his school work in his book bag.

  “Ready to go, guys?” I ask them as I go to the desk to sign them out.

  “Yup,” they say in unison.

  “See you next week, Meagan,” I say to the daycare worker as the kids get their coats on.

  Having these guys with me has sort of delayed my career goals a bit, but thankfully, I finished up my law degree in four years and started working in a law firm. At first, I interned at a criminal law office just outside of Calgary, and was eventually offered a full time job there. But once I got accepted in a Family Law firm that was owned by Lilly’s dad, there was no way I was passing that up.

  I get the kids in the car and hop in the front. I decide I really am too lazy to cook anything tonight, so I decide take-out is the best option. Knowing the kids, they will only go for one place—McDonalds. I go through the drive through, getting chicken nuggets for Ethan and a cheeseburger meal for Jessica. Of course, she has to yell through the window, “No Pickles on that burger, and hold the mayo.” I chuckle. I love these kids.

  On the drive home, I look at them in the rear view mirror. “When your mom calls later, you better not tell her we had this for supper. She’d kill me.” She probably would; she hates it when kids eat junk food. She always says that it should only be for birthdays and holidays.

  “Well, duh, Auntie,” Jessica says with an eye roll.

  It takes so much for me not to constantly giggle or eye roll with these two. They are so much like their parents.

  We get into my condo, and I lock up once we’re all in.

  “Auntie H, is Mom gonna be visiting us this weekend?” Ethan asks.

  “No, this weekend she isn’t able to, but she’ll be calling I’m sure,” I tell him with a smile.

  He nods. “Okay, I miss her.” The twins were three years old when they came to live with me, but they were never confused about who I was, since Eden tried her hardest to visit often. And if she couldn’t get away, I made sure to visit her on the weekends when she was able to get away from her asshole father.

  We always met at a diner; she’d tell her dad she was going shopping for groceries, or the one rare time she had us meet her at the park. Most times, it was a no go; he wouldn’t let her out. After her failed attempt of running away after a year of her first being there with him, she never tried again.

  I so badly wanted to help her, but she wouldn’t let me.

  Eden’s back. I don’t know how I fuckin’ feel about this. I missed the shit out of her, but her being back is bringing up shit I don’t want to rehash.

  She called the club looking for help after seeing a segment about us on the news. Big Willy’s up for parole soon, and she needs protection for her and her little sister, who we didn’t even know about until today. Hearing about the shit she’s been through makes me want to bash Big Willy’s skull in.

  With Eden coming back, I wonder if there’s a chance that Hilary will come back. I don’t want her here. Over the years, I’ve driven by her place, and I’ve watched her at work, and she’s always with a damn man. Ever since the club changed, I haven’t fucked another woman. Yet there she is, fuckin’ everyone while we’re still married.

  Jasper, Zippo, and I are all going over after work today to meet with her and make sure she and her sister are taken care of. When we get to Eden’s house, I stare up at it. The guys don’t know this shit, but for years I used to drive by, hoping she would come home. And now, here she is—home.

  I take her in as we walk up to the house, and it fuckin’ kills me when she opens the door and doesn’t recognize me.

  I remember the first time I met her; it was a while after Vinny and Jasper did. I didn’t even know this was the girl that they were hanging around until she beat the shit outta me for throwing mud at Hilary.

  “You!” I heard screeched while I was on the playground with Jasper.

  I squinted, trying to figure out if I knew the girl coming at us. “Who are you?” I asked.

  “You’re worst nightmare, buddy,” she screamed at me, then she came charging toward me.

  After socking me in the eye with her right hand, I fell to the ground. She climbed on top of me, shoving sand down my pants.

  “What the heck are you doing?” I shouted at her. She had to be only about five or six. I’d never had a girl try to beat me up before. I wanted to laugh, but was afraid if I did she would start hitting me again. She had this crazy look in her eyes, though, and I lost it. I busted out laughing, which just infuriated the pipsqueak even more.

  She started to beat her fists on me, and I threw my arms up in front of my face for cover. She was lifted off me as I laid there with my arms still covering my face, and I looked up to see Jasper holding her, grinning down at me.

  “This is Eden,” he said, smiling.

  I pushed up from the ground and glared at her. “Why did you just attack me?”

  “Because you threw dirt on Hilary at recess. Someone had to kick your ass,” she growled out and started dusting the dirt and grass from her pants. She was a feisty little scrapper.

  My eyebrows shot up. “Did you just swear?”

  She rolled her eyes at me.

  “Man, what five-year-old swears?” I asked Jasper.

  He shrugged. “She does when she’s mad enough,” he said with a laugh.

  After that, we were best friends, constantly picking on each other, and sometimes I would even do little things to Hilary knowing I’d face Eden’s wrath later on.

  God I’ve missed her.

  The comments Eden made about never being with Angel again has me worried. I don’t get it. She’s back but seems to hate him. I’m worried he’s gonna fall into old habits. At the same time, I’m glad my best fuckin’ friend is back.

  Later on at the clubhouse, Angel looks to Mona, Hilary’s mother, and tells her to get Hilary back home. I storm out of the clubhouse after the meeting. He knows I’m pissed as fuck. The bitch fuckin’ cheated on me, and she continues to do so.

  The kid she lost probably wasn’t even fuckin’ mine.

  Fuck her. When she comes back, if she comes back…well, fuck, I don’t know what I’ll do.

  My phone ringing
wakes me from sleep. “Hello,” I say, answering it quickly so the kids can sleep in a bit.

  “Hey, baby girl,” Mom’s voice says, filling the line.

  “Hey, Mom. What’s up?” I ask while sitting up in bed. We don’t talk much. Things have been awkward. I’ve kept my distance mostly because I hated lying to my mom, and well, if she heard about the kids, I would have had to tell her about Eden. Shit would have been a fucking mess.

  “It’s time to come home now, baby. Think you can do that?”

  “What’s goin’ on?” I ask her. “Is Eden okay?” I begin to worry. Shit, I just fucked up.

  Silence fills the phone line before she answers. “You knew about Eden?” she asks, sounding hurt.

  “Um,” I groan, unsure what to say.

  “Hilary, baby, why didn’t you tell anyone?” She sounds disappointed in me.

  “Mom, I couldn’t,” I tell her calmly.

  “I understand you three girls are close, but the crap going on with her, her father, and her sister, we should have all been told this way before now,” Mom says firmly.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll get packed up and be down early in the week,” I tell her.

  “Is that enough notice for your work, though?” she asks.

  “Don’t worry about that. I’ll handle it,” I tell her. I thought I was due up for partnership, but one of the assholes at work is being too handsy and decided that since I wouldn’t fuck him, he would give the partnership to someone else. So my job can fuck itself.

  “Okay, baby, drive safely,” she says then hangs up.

  Shit, what am I gonna do about Jessica and Ethan? I doubt Eden has found the time to tell Jasper about them.