by Tynessa
“Do you know why I always gave Teyana attitude? It had nothing to do with her. She is beautiful woman. She is respectful and a damn good mother. I don’t like Teyana because she is me. You are your father and everything you are putting her through is what your father did to me. I hate that she allows you to treat her like shit and put your hands on her. You are my son and my loyalty is to you but I have loyalty to my grandson and the minute he comes to me in tears because he doesn’t want to be around his own father, then you lose my loyalty. Let that girl go and live her life. You are causing her nothing but heartache and it’s starting to affect your son.”
“Ma, Teyana ain’t going nowhere. I have changed and we have been getting along just fine. I love her and my son and I’m willing to do anything to keep my family together.
My cell phone went off, indicating I had a text message. I pulled my phone out my pocket to see that Teyana was texting that nigga Gambino yet again. As much as I was trying to keep my hands to myself and calm my temper, Teyana was testing me. I put my phone back in my pocket and looked up at my mother, who was shaking her head at me in disgust. Hell, I didn’t give a fuck about her feelings. That was my bitch and my son and she wasn’t about to tell me how I could and couldn’t treat them.
Teyana had just pissed me the fuck off texting this nigga asking if he would meet up with her. I couldn’t wait to see what lie she was going to come up with to get away and meet him though. I had been keeping my hands to myself, but she asking for the old me to resurface. I excused myself to call that bitch Jazz to inform her that her best bet was to keep that nigga where he was and away from Teyana.
Chapter 4
Gambino
Sitting at the diner, I looked at my phone for the umpteenth time in the past few days. Teyana was supposed to keep me posted on the baby, but I hadn’t heard from her since the day she told me that she would. That shit wasn’t sitting well with me and something about it wasn’t right. Automatically, my antennas went up because Teyana would never just stop keeping in contact with me unless something was wrong. As I watched Jazz enter the diner and make her way to the table, I made a mental note to pay Teyana a visit when I got back home to Atlanta.
“Hey,” Jazz spoke softly as she took a seat. She was doing everything to avoid looking me in the eyes. Guilt was written all over her damn face.
“Hey yourself! What’s good with the baby?” That was my only concern. I was just ready for her to deliver it so I could prove what I already knew; that it wasn’t mine, and move on with my life.
“He’s doing well. I’m just ready for him to come on out of here,” she said, while rubbing her stomach. I stared at her with a blank expression. Jazz was beautiful. Her mocha-colored skin was glowing and her hair had grew a couple of inches longer. The pregnancy had spread her hips and given her an ass that was just ridiculously big. Even with all that, I would never get back with her. Jazz just wasn’t wifey material and I hated like hell I wasted so many years trying to mold her to be the woman I needed her to be. Jazz would always be a conniving, evil bitch! I hate to say it like that, but it is what it is.
“So, it’s a boy?” I finally asked. If I didn’t have doubts that it wasn’t mine, I would’ve been truly excited to have my first son.
“Yes, we’re having a boy.” Her smile grew wider. Reaching across the table, she grabbed my hand and said, “I was thinking, we should name him Terrean Rose Jr.”
I looked into her eyes to see if I saw an ounce of amusement, but I didn’t. Jazz, was dead ass serious. I mean, if the baby was mine then it would be my pleasure to name him after me, but I wasn’t about to start making plans and getting my hopes up. I wasn’t signing no birth certificate until I was 99.9% sure I was the father.
Removing my hand out of hers, I ran it down my face before rubbing the back of my neck. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. I don’t wanna go talking about names until we get the test back—.”
“Really, Gambino? How are you going to insinuate that this baby isn’t yours? Are you asking that bitch to give you a paternity test too? I mean, she’s the one with the fiancé and shit,” Jazz bellowed. Though she was right, having Teyana give me a paternity test on the baby she was pregnant with had never crossed my mind. I just felt in my heart that the baby she was carrying was mine.
“Yeah, you so quick to not claim our baby but the same bitch that is cheating on her nigga for you, you ready to stake claim to her fucking child.”
“Aye, watch your mouth,” I said calmly. I wasn’t about to let her sit here and disrespect, Teyana. I didn’t give a fuck if we were on bad terms; that shit wasn’t about to go down.
“Whatever nigga! You know if that bitch was fucking you without a condom then she was fucking her fiancé without one too. What makes her baby more of yours than mines?” Jazz asked. I shook my head at the fake ass tears she was mustering out, but what she was saying was true. I just didn’t want to believe Teyana’s baby wasn’t mine. After I didn’t answer her, she reached across the table and began stroking my face.
“Why can’t you see how much I love you, Gambino? I’m willing to forget about you cheating on me if you just come back to me. I love you and I want us to raise our child as a family,” Jazz said with much sincerity in her voice. Her ass deserved an Oscar Award for her performance today.
“How can you say you love me when you left me for dead, Jazz?” I looked at her through narrowed eyes. I watched her whole demeanor change.
“Gambino, what are you talking—.” I held up my hand, preventing her from lying before she even got started.
“Cut the bull, Jazmine. You were that fucked up over me leaving that you would try to kill a nigga? Huh?” No matter what, I stayed calm for the simple that I was afraid I would kill her ass right here in this diner.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about—,” she began while shaking her head from left to right repeatedly.
“Jazmine stop!” I banged my fist on the table, causing her drink to spill on her. She jumped up and was looking at me with widened eyes.
“Gambino—.”
“How do you know him?” I asked, referring to, Tyriq. I wasn’t about to play games with her ass. That baby she was carrying was the only reason I was sparing her life right now. “How the fuck do you know that girl’s fiancé?” I stood and leaned over the table. Her mouth was moving but nothing was coming out. Just as I was about to walk over to yoke her ass up, Biggs walked in.
“Yo, bruh, you good?” he asked, looking from me to Jazz. Biggs was the one that talked Jazz into meeting me here today. Her funky ass wasn’t answering any of my calls so I got him to convince her that I wasn’t going to do shit to her and I only wanted to see what was good with the baby. She was hesitant but she agreed to meet me.
“Yeah, I’m good. I’m about to bounce. Jazz, hit me on the way to the hospital.” With that, I walked out the door and Biggs wasn’t too far behind. I had him to drop me off at the airport so I could go see what the fuck was up with Teyana.
Teyana
I wasn’t understanding why neither Sevyn nor Gambino hadn’t replied to any of my texts or answered any of my calls. I understood they were upset about my choice of coming back to Tyriq, but it was a decision that I had no other choice but to make. Until they became parents, I didn’t expect them to fully understand. I was lying in bed when I heard the doorbell ring. Tyriq and Camari had just left for to the barber and to his mother’s house so I just figured it was one of Tyriq’s bum ass homeboys. It wasn’t until the person started banging on the door that I got out. I cursed all the way to the front door until I slung it back and saw Gambino standing there. God, this man is fine.
“Gambino, are you crazy?! What are you doing here?” I didn’t mean for it to come out like that but he had completely lost his mind showing up at my house I shared with my deranged fiancé.
“Come take a ride with me,” was all he said before walking back to his car.
“Gambino, no. You know I ca
n’t. I don’t know how long Tyriq is going to be gone and I don’t need any drama,” I tried to reason with him.
“Fuck that nigga! Either you walk out here to the car or I can carry you; your fucking choice.” He just stood there staring at me. Ugh! I turned on my heels and headed back inside to slip on some clothes and shoes. Tyriq is going to kill my ass.
When I walked back out Gambino was sitting in his car. I wondered what he wanted to talk to me about since he acted as if he couldn’t reply to my texts. When I got inside his car, nothing was said until I noticed we were headed in the direction of his house.
“No, Gambino. I can’t do this with you. I can’t be here,” I finally said as we were pulling in the driveway.
“Man, chill the fuck out, Teyana. I just wanna talk.” He got out, came around to my side and opened the door. I had no other choice but to get out as well. I followed slowly behind him into the house. Looking around, I sighed deeply. There were plenty of women out there that would die to be with a man like Gambino. He was cut from a totally different cloth than what I was used to. That’s why I fell deeply in love with him. He was everything I wished Tyriq was, and that alone should’ve been reason enough for me to be with him. I just knew Tyriq wouldn’t let us be happy. He’d proven that already.
“So why the fuck I haven’t heard from you?” Gambino asked as soon as we entered his front door. He was looking serious while I stood there confused. I had been texting him but he was the one that wasn’t replying. Neither him nor Sevyn.
“Terrean, I have been texting but you’re the one that still has your ass on your shoulder and can’t damn reply to my text.”
Pulling out his phone, he began strolling through it, all the while, shaking his big ass head.
“Nah, you haven’t texted me shit. Why the fuck you playing games and shit with me, Teyana?”
“I’m not playing games. I know who I texted.” I felt in my pocket before realizing I left my cell phone at home. Shit. Gambino rubbed his hand down his face before staring at me.
“When is your appointment?” he asked me.
“I had one yesterday. I texted you and told you that, Terrean. I don’t understand why you didn’t get my text. I know I texted you. As a matter of fact, I been texting you and Sevyn but neither one of y’all have responded back, yet.” My feelings were really hurt, because I felt like they were ignoring me because of the choice I made. Now he was sitting up here saying he didn’t get my texts. Gambino was not about to make me look a fool. I knew who the fuck I texted.
“Well she said she hasn’t heard anything from you either. That’s why I went by your house. Come here.” He pulled me up and sat me in his lap. “Has that nigga touched you since you been back?”
I quickly shook my head no. Even if it was a lie, Gambino wasn’t about to know that.
“Have you fucked him?” He was staring me dead in the eyes. The intense look he was displaying wouldn’t allow me to lie to him. I just dropped my head. “Really, Teyana? While you’re pregnant with my baby?” he asked while shaking his head. Though the sex with Tyriq wasn’t willingly, I wouldn’t dare tell him that.
“Gambino, he’s my fiancé. What was I supposed to tell him?”
“Tell the mothafucka’ no!”
I wished it was that easy, I thought. Standing up, I looked at the clock on the wall.
“I think I should be getting back,” I said but Gambino wasn’t trying to hear that. He lifted me in the air and carried me upstairs to the master bedroom. Just like the house in New York, the bedroom looked like something out a magazine. I didn’t object as he removed every piece of clothing I was wearing. I needed to feel Gambino. I would just have to deal with Tyriq when I got back home. Right now I was going to enjoy the moment with the man that had captured my heart.
********
When I got back home, Tyriq and Camari hadn’t made it back yet. I quickly went to his master bedroom to shower and change out of my clothes. I smelled like Gambino’s Paul Sebastian cologne. I took clothes that I had in the laundry and immediately took them down to be washed. I wanted to smell his cologne forever but I couldn’t risk Tyriq coming in and smelling the scent.
When I had that all set, I headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner. I was making Camari’s favorite dinner, baked pork chops. I wasn’t a fan of too much pork but Camari loved it. I made a side of yellow rice and some buttered corn on the cob to go with it.
I was putting the finishing touches on dinner and making plates when Camari came running in the kitchen. He handed me a folded piece of paper and kissed my cheek when I bent down to speak to him.
“Hi, Mommy. Grandma told me to give that to you and for you to read it when you are alone.”
Hi, baby. Did u have fun with your grandmother?” I asked, stuffing the papers in my pocket since I heard Tyriq coming in the house.
“Yeah I did, but I’m hungry,” Camari said and I laughed at him.
“Well go wash up. Dinner is done. I will make your plate.” He ran out the kitchen towards his bathroom to get cleaned up while Tyriq just sat his filthy ass down at the table. That was one thing that always bothered me about him. He had no sense of cleanliness about him. Yeah, he showered but that was it. He just went about the rest of his day as is. I rarely seen him wash his hands, sanitize or anything of the sort, to be honest. I guess he figured because he didn’t stink that what he was doing was cute.
“You can get washed up for dinner. It’s done. I’m making your plate now.”
“Bitch, I’m not your fucking child. I don’t run around touching shit all day. What the fuck do I need to wash my hands for? Just fix my fucking plate and clean this got damn mess you made the fuck up.”
“Tyriq, was all that called for? All I said was that dinner was ready and that you could get cleaned up. What does you not being a child have to do with anything? Any clean person would want to wash any germs they may have off their hands before they put them to their mouth.”
Before I even saw his ass getting up, he was slapping my ass into LaLa Land. I grabbed my cheek, feeling the bruise that was immediately forming.
“Teyana, you testing me right now. I been keeping to myself on the strength of my son, but you pushing my fucking buttons.” With that he knocked all the pots and pans of food off the stove and walked out the kitchen, calling for Camari to come down.
“Come on, man. We going out to eat,” I heard him saying.
“Is Mommy coming? Can we go to her favorite place?” I heard my son asking him.
“Naw, she got a mess to clean up and she ain’t looking too good at the moment,” he said. I heard Camari run upstairs and come back down in less than a minute flat. A few seconds later I heard the front door closing.
I slid down the cabinet until I hit the floor. I had my knees pulled to my chest with my head down. I couldn’t stop the tears. Enough was enough. I was gonna have to go out on a limb and risk my life but I was gonna get my son away from this sick son-of-a-bitch.
I got up and began cleaning up the mess he made in the kitchen when I remembered the letter that Camari gave to me. I pulled it out my pocket and sat at the table to read it.
Dear Teyana,
“Listen, first I want you to understand that I never disliked you. I saw so much of myself in you that I found it hard to get to know you. Tyriq is my son and I love him beyond death, but he is his father’s child. I couldn’t bear to stand by and watch you live my life over again. I wanted so many times to tell you about Tyriq, but at the same time him being with you seemed to keep him calm. Everything that Tyriq has and will put you through, is what he grew up around. I didn’t have the strength to leave. Even if you are back with him now against your will, (Camari tells me everything and I’m sorry I didn’t listen sooner) you had the courage to leave and I didn’t.
When Tyriq was younger, he had been having very bad and violent mood swings. Every time I brought up the issue, it was World War 3 between his father and I. Tyriq was about ten years old and
his mood swings resulted in hitting his father in the head with a 4x4 while they were in the garage building a craft. After that attack, my husband was all for him being seen by someone. He was diagnosed by three different specialists as having bipolar disorder before my husband believed any of them. Since being diagnosed, he has been on Seroquel daily. And I can tell you right now, those days that he doesn’t take his meds, are the days that you get his worst attitude.
Like I said, I love my son, but he needs help and I have been trying for years to get him some. He’s of age now so I can’t just send him away. But being that he is being a danger to you and my grandson, you can. It’s not something I WANT to do but it NEEDS to be done. The next time he has a bad episode and decides to beat you for it, who is to say that you will make it out? I know you love him, I know you love Camari, but you need to love yourself more if you ever wanna love anyone else. Camari deserves to see you happy. All he talks about it this man Gambino that you met.
Hell, I see your glow and I know that it’s not from the hell you are living with my son. That man makes you happy and it’s my son’s own fault that another man is giving you the smiles that he should. I know as his mother, I should be rooting for him, but he needs help and I honestly think you are the only person who can get him the help he needs.
Please rip this letter up and think about what I said and come and talk to me when you are ready. I will always be here but don’t wait too long.
I was shocked to say the least. I had been dealing with him for more than eight years. Why didn’t I see the signs earlier? Hell, why didn’t I take a closer look at his medicine bottles. He told me they were vitamins and my dumb ass just went with the flow.
I ripped the paper up and tossed it. I finished cleaning up the mess in the kitchen and used the house phone to call Gambino. I knew that was taking a risk, but his ass was sending me straight to voicemail when I called from my cell phone.
