Innocent Little Crimes

by C. S. Lakin

  Dick dropped a handful of gems into Lila’s lap. “I was just getting them for you.”

  “Like hell you were.”

  Dick’s face reddened. “Are you accusing me of trying to steal? I’m not a crook.”

  Davis snickered and imitated Richard Nixon. “I am not a crook.”

  “But you are, Ferrol. We already proved that,” Lila said.

  “You accused me of it. You proved nothing. You’re good with your words and with throwing your weight around, literally, but you’re pitiable. All this money and look what it got you. You’re pathetic.”

  “I am, am I?” Lila finally pulled herself up. Pieces of the necklace lay scattered about her. She ignored them. She took in the group stationed around the devastated living room. “Hey, you know what we all are? Face the truth. Not some great, goodhearted humanitarians, but the seven deadly sins. Here we all are, in the flesh.”

  Della and Jonathan separated and smoothed their clothes and hair.

  Lila slowly circled the room. “Let’s see if I remember them all.”

  She faced Dick. “Greed, obviously.”

  She walked past Della. “Lust.”

  When she reached Millie she smiled. “Gluttony.”

  Then Jonathan. “Pride, of course. You know the Hebrew proverb, Levin—pride cometh before a fall?

  “Envy? Yes, Peter, you.

  “I, of course, am wrath. And last but not least—sloth.”

  She looked straight at Davis. “What a lazy boy, you are. What a nice assortment of sinners we have here. My father would have a field day with the lot of you. Us.”

  Davis repositioned the bench and sat back down, grinning up at Lila. “Well, Li, be that as it may, I’m still on the bench. I’m sure everyone in the room would vote you off in a second. So, why not name me the winner and let’s call it a night. What do you say?”

  “Not bloody likely.” Lila thrust her face into his. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment. Why, I’ve been choreographing this evening for years, my dear Davis. Do you think you ended up last by accident? I’ve saved you for last on purpose.”

  Lila was aware of her hands shaking. She had spoken the truth: fifteen years she had waited, fantasizing this moment in her head. Rehearsing it more than any part she had ever performed. And each time, the scenario played the same: she would expose Davis and he would plead for mercy. Then she would refuse and watch him suffer.

  “Lila has you pegged, Davis,” Della said. “You’re the expert on laziness. Look at how you got through school—getting girls to cram for your exams and give you notes. Smiling at the teachers so they’d let you slide. Even giving up acting to take over your father’s business. Go for the lazy way to make money—handed to you on a platter.”

  “Now wait a minute, darling. I work damn hard in that business, sometimes twelve hours a day.”

  “Whoa. Let’s rewind back a few frames, loverboy,” Lila said. “The boy with the golden spoon in his mouth. Money for cars and other toys. Varsity team, summers in Europe, college. Leads in all the shows, all the women flocking around him. Passing the scut work off on everyone else and reaping all the rewards.”

  “Yeah, you sure did that to me,” Dick said.

  “Cynthia, you innocent, come closer. I don’t want you to miss a beat.”

  The group turned toward the hallway where Cynthia stood in shadow.

  “Leave her alone, Li,” Peter said.

  “It’s time she learned the truth.”

  “Oh, get off it, Lila,” Davis said. “For two days you’ve been threatening to tell her the ‘truth’ about me, like there’s some deep, dark secret that will scare her away.”

  “Oh, there’s more than one. Where would you like me to start?” Lila’s voice sped up. “How ’bout your charmed business life in wealthy Marin. Particularly the northern Marin sub-division. The not-so-legit way you put that together.”

  “What about it?”

  “Like pushing all the permits through by greasing the necessary palms. Someone has it all in writing—dates, names, amounts. You get the picture.”

  Davis snorted. “You’re bluffing. There’s nothing you can hold over me. Nothing,”

  “And when the main investor split town, you dipped into Cynthia’s T-Bills.” Lila put her hand across her mouth. “Oh dear, Cynthia wasn’t supposed to know about that.”

  Lila watched the slender silhouette move in closer. That should pep things up in their relationship.

  “Something on the order of fifty grand, I think it was.”

  “Tell me this isn’t true, Davis.” Cynthia said. “You told me that money was untouchable—for our children. It’s in our agreement.”

  Lila smirked. “Sweet talk her, Davis. The way you did me.”

  Davis’s face flushed. He reached his hands out to Cynthia. “Darling, I didn’t want to trouble you with it. It was a temporary loan.”

  “But you promised.”

  “I paid it back.”

  “With my money,” Lila said. Gotcha.

  Davis froze. “Excuse me?”

  “Your principal investor. Brand and Martin. Los Angeles.” Lila waited a beat. “I own your northern Marin subdivision, or at least the controlling stock.” Lila threw in another well-placed pause. “And the adjacent shopping mall.”

  “Oh, I love this. This is too much,” Jonathan said. “She got you too.”

  “This is not funny,” Davis said.

  Dick clapped his hands. “It sure as hell is.”

  Jonathan held up his hand. “This is all a big, sick joke, right Lila? You just did your homework on us. And now you’re taking the credit for it all. Great scheme, Lila. You really had us going there for awhile. Can’t you see, Davis? It’s all an act. To make us shiver in our boots.”

  “Wish again, Levin. This is worse than the ‘Deadly Game.’ This is the ‘Deadly Reality.’ And I’m not finished here with golden boy, Levin, so shut up. I have a list of all the little bits of real estate my corporations have acquired over the past ten years. Oh, they’re too numerous to rattle off right now, but I’m sure you’ll recognize them. All of your commercial enterprises. All of them in my majority ownership. All your partners: Elite Realty, Golden State, Southcoast. The names sound familiar? And I’ve been thinking lately of dumping the whole lot of them, all for a loss. A big loss. Or maybe make the rents so unbelievably high that the shops and condos will remain vacant and, gee whiz, I guess I’d have to declare bankruptcy. That could be a loss in the millions, isn’t that right, Davis?”

  “What is she saying?” Cynthia grabbed Davis’s sleeve. “Davis, tell me.”

  She spun around to face Lila. “I’ve kept quiet for the last hour. Mostly out of shock from your behavior—everyone’s behavior. I would have left long ago if it were possible. But, I’m not going to leave here without saying this: I don’t know whether or not all these terrible things are true, all these affairs and traps and bribes and blackmailing. It’s all vicious and unforgivable . . .”

  “No, honey,” Lila interrupted, “I’ll tell you what’s unforgivable.” She thrust her face up against Cynthia’s. “Pretending to be in love with someone when you’re not. Pretending the kisses are passionate and the promises are spoken from the heart.”

  Peter came over and reached for Lila’s hand. “I think it’s time we all went to bed. It’s been a long day.” Lila swatted him away, like a pesky mosquito.

  “. . . Saying ‘Darling, I’m so in love with you, I can’t wait any longer. Come to bed with me, now, I can’t stand the agony anymore.’ “

  Lila took a breath and glared at Davis. “Promising you’d marry me if I agreed to have sex.”

  “You did what?” Jonathan said.

  “So that’s how you got her,” Dick added, then quickly covered.

  Lila turned to Dick. “Yes, that’s how he ‘got me.’ How he got me to bed and won the bet!”

  “She’s making it all up,” Davis said.

  “I sure as hell am
not. Tell your dear fiancée about the bet.”

  “I don’t remember any bet.”

  “Oh, right. I forgot—it was fifteen years ago and you don’t remember a thing. But, Della remembers, don’t you Della? And so do Dick and Jon. And of course, you.” She pointed to Millie. A silence spread heavy and thick. “You all knew.”

  Millie shook her head. “I didn’t know about the proposal. Honest, I didn’t.”

  “Neither did I,” Della added. “He must have come up with that one on his own. A desperate race against the clock, is my guess.”

  “Della, fuck off,” Davis said. “It was your fucking idea.”

  Cynthia’s jaw dropped. “Davis!”

  Lila crossed her arms. “So, now his memory suddenly returns.”

  “It was all a joke, all right? And it wasn’t my idea. I didn’t want to do it. They all pressured me into it.”

  “Whatever happened to ‘just say no’?” Lila asked.

  “Davis.” Cynthia pulled once more on Davis’s arm. “Let’s go. The game’s over. We’ll talk about this when you’re sober.”

  “You’re a tough one,” Lila said to Cynthia. “Hard to break. I didn’t think you’d last this long. Yeah, a tough nut to crack.”

  Cynthia tried to ignore Lila, but Lila came up and whispered by her ear. “Let’s talk about the other ladies in lover boy’s life. Claire was easy. She took the first job I offered her. Chicago—I knew she wouldn’t refuse. Denise was a little more difficult, since she really thought she was in love with him. But she was more in love with money, lucky me. She went off with that rich executive on a yacht around the world. He gave her the time of her life, by the way, and set her up in a nice condo in Belize. Of course, Mr. Executive was never in love with her. He just owed me a favor. Isn’t life wonderful? An elaborate system of debts and favors.” Lila caught Davis’s stunned expression from the corner of her eye.

  “But you, Cynthia darling, you, I knew I couldn’t shake, buy, or bribe. You didn’t care about money or career. Believe me, I tried everything, but you were stuck to him like glue. That’s why I had to bring you all here.”

  She turned to the group. “Say thank you to Cynthia, gang. She’s the reason every one of you is here tonight.”

  “Because of me?”

  “Yes, dear. Because of little ol’ you.”

  Peter yanked on Lila’s sleeve. “Come on, Li. Enough.”

  “Peter, lay off!” Lila shoved him. “I’m not finished!”

  Cynthia backed away. “You can’t be serious? This whole reunion was for the purpose of dissuading me from marrying Davis?”

  “As long as he stayed single, I was content to play with the lot of you—cat and mice. Eventually I would have destroyed you all. And good riddance. But Davis—if I couldn’t have him, no one would.”

  “This is incredible,” Della said.

  “Fucking unbelievable,” Dick muttered.

  Lila shrugged. “Eventually Davis would realize there was no one in the world for him but me. Davis made me a promise. And I expect him to make good his promise. And I brought you all here to convince him of that.”

  Della laughed. “That’s the funniest thing I ever heard. Fifteen years and still waiting.”

  Davis was not laughing. “You’re crazy. What are you going to do—blackmail me into marrying you? What kind of love is that?”

  “Who said anything about love?” Lila asked.

  “I get it. She just wants revenge,” Dick said.

  “Very funny, Lila. Very funny.” Davis wobbled to his feet with Cynthia holding his arm. “Hey, big star. I’ve had enough of your ringside production. I’m going to bed.”

  Lila’s voice was stern. “I’m serious, loverboy. I’ll ruin you. You’ll have nothing!”

  “Lila, stop. You don’t mean any of this.” Peter again took her arm and pulled. His face betrayed the embarrassment he felt for her.

  “You’re going to marry me!” she squealed.

  Davis pulled Cynthia into the hall, stumbling toward his room. “Over my dead body.”

  Lila watched as the pair disappeared from sight. She pursed her lips. “If that’s the way you want it . . .”

  She stood there, her face a grotesque mask of rage. “Yeah, baby, if that’s the way you want it . . .”

  Chapter 20

  “Davis, what are you doing?” Cynthia stood by the bed as he raced around the room, gathering clothes.

  “Packing, what do you think?”

  “Now? Let’s just go to sleep. You know we can’t leave here until tomorrow afternoon.”

  “I saw a couple of houses from the mountaintop. Lila’s not the only one on this island.”

  Cynthia fumed. “And you intend to head out into this storm in the middle of the night—in pitch dark—and do what? Knock on someone’s door and borrow a boat? Get real, Davis.”

  “I’m not staying another minute in this house. The lady’s crazy.”

  “She’s drunk. And so are you. She won’t remember a thing in the morning. She’s probably passed out already.”

  Davis threw the last of his clothes into the suitcase and fumbled with the latches.

  “You heard what she said. She owns me. And she intends to ruin me. I’m not sticking around to see what else she has up her depraved sleeve.”

  “How do you know any of it is true? Come on, hon, please let’s get some sleep.”

  Davis tugged at the heavy suitcase, then dropped it by the door and kicked it hard. “I’m outta here.”

  “And what about me? Do you drag me along or should I wish you a safe trip? Can’t you wait till the morning? Honey, please. Go talk to Peter—he’ll know what’s going on.”

  “Peter’s on her side. He works for her, doesn’t he?”

  “Davis, he’s a decent man.”

  “I’m not going to beg anyone for help. I’ll help myself.”

  Davis reached for his coat and scarf. “Ciao, baby.” He kissed her cheek. “Are you sure you won’t come?”

  “This is crazy. Davis, please don’t leave me.”

  “I’ll find us a way off the island. I promise.”

  Cynthia heard Davis’s footsteps tromp down the hall. Maybe the cold rain would sober him up—if he didn’t catch pneumonia first. She just prayed he didn’t get lost in the woods. How far could he get without a flashlight in the dark? She’d wait five minutes, just five. And then she’d fetch him.

  A chilly draft blew through the window cracks. Cynthia climbed under the covers with all her clothes on. Angry voices filtered in from the living room; the rest of the guests still up and fighting. So let them kill each other off. A feeling of disgust flooded over her. So much for Lila’s little parlor game. No one won, no one escaped the wolves.

  Was it really possible that Lila arranged this whole reunion just to dissuade her from marrying Davis? What a ludicrous idea. All those years, watching, waiting, thwarting Davis from marrying. No, it had to be a sick Lila Carmichael joke. And what about the terrible things she said she did to ruin them all? Said she intended to do? Rich, successful Lila wasting all that energy on revenge—and why? Because of a small incident? Sure, they played a hurtful trick on her—but nothing so vicious as to warrant such revenge.

  Cynthia sighed and reached for her hairbrush. Slowly, she worked the tangles out of her hair. If Lila was bluffing, then she had done an awful lot of homework on them. She knew things she should have never known. Like the T-Bills.

  The thought of Davis’s dishonesty knotted her stomach. She fought back the anger, reminding herself to give Davis the benefit of the doubt. Yes, he had promised—sworn—he would never touch that money. Yet, she also trusted his judgment. If he only needed the money temporarily, then where was the damage? He said he already repaid it, as if it never happened. But, how many other things had he done and not told her? Their relationship was based on explicit trust and Davis had broken it. And that was inexcusable.

  Disturbed by those thoughts, she leaped out of bed. She pu
t on her coat and scarf and reached for the flashlight on the floor. She had to find Davis.

  But, first, she was going to confront Lila.

  Davis slammed the front door and ventured out into the storm. Wind whipped rain and leaves into the entryway behind him. In the living room, Lila rapped loudly on her glass with a spoon. With lights out again, a new set of candles burned on the buffet table. The angry arguing toned down enough for her voice to carry. Lightning cracked, followed by a burst of thunder.

  “Enough, enough, you drunken slobs.” Her voice trailed off. “You poor, drunken slobs.”

  “Go to hell, Lila,” Jonathan said.

  “Oh, I’m sure I will. But, my dear guests, now that our leading man has staged a hasty, hostile exit, there’s something I have to say.”

  Dick moaned. “Haven’t you said enough already?”

  Cynthia stood in the shadows of the doorway, listening. Lila pushed Dick aside and straddled the bench. Peter had given up trying to extricate Lila from the room. She was queen of her domain, rousing the rabble. He had never seen her so charged, so intense, so out of control. Maybe the result of too many long hours on the set. She needed a real vacation. So did he, for that matter. He wondered what would happen Monday, back in L.A. Would Lila deny this whole weekend and go on as if nothing happened? He hoped so. He longed to erase this whole fiasco from his memory. Come on—he was kidding himself. He would never forget the things she said to him. She hit him below the belt and it hurt. They had one unspoken agreement in their relationship: jab all you like, but some things were unmentionable, and Lila crossed the line. She had betrayed him on the deepest level possible.

  “Now, aren’t we all in an interesting predicament,” Lila said. “Who would have guessed it? All these nice, good people—devoured by the wolves. Not one redeemable character in the bunch. Kinda makes you lose faith in humanity, doesn’t it?”

  “Can it, Li,” Della said.

  “Oh, but there’s more.”

  Groans erupted from those in the room.

  “Let me guess,” Dick said. “Another amusing parlor game. Like, how to serve roast guest.”