"Ooh!" She snorted. "It is not a prairie hen!"
"It is not? But it looks like a prairie hen."
"It is a falcon!"
He could not help himself. He started to laugh. He had to hold his stomach, he was laughing so hard.
When he could finally choke out some words, he said, "Of course it is. Why could I not see that?"
"You fool," she gritted, and she was not laughing anymore. "I was doing it for you!" Then, clutching the garment to her, she ran out of the cave.
He sat there staring at the fire, wondering what to do now. Perhaps he would go hunting again. Old Widow could always use the meat.
He was just strapping on his snowshoes when Star returned.
"Where are you going?" she demanded.
He eyed her. She held the leather shirt close to her stomach, protecting it from him. Her lips were tight and her eyes narrow.
"Time to go hunting," he answered.
"You just got back from hunting! And now you are going again?"
He heard the dismay in her voice and he shrugged. He did not want to go hunting, but he wanted to stay around the cave with an angry woman even less.
"So! You think to run away again."
"I am not running away."
"You are going hunting. That is running away!"
"Silence, woman. I said I am going hunting."
She stepped out of his way. "Very well," she answered. "Go hunting."
And she sauntered into the cave. He could not help but notice the sway of her hips. He glanced back at the cold, snow-clad hills. Then back at the warm fire and the woman, taking her place to sew beside it.
With a sigh, he took off his snowshoes and tramped back into the cave. "I changed my mind," he said.
She smiled.
He smiled back.
The fire cracked and popped and he put a few twigs on it. "We will have to get more wood soon," he said.
She nodded. "We could go together and bring some back."
"Very well." They got up and put on their fur robes and headed out into the afternoon cold.
When they returned, each bearing an armload of branches and wood for the fire, it was almost dark.
"I will get the evening meal," she said, and he nodded. He stamped his feet to keep the blood running. He breathed into his hands to warm them.
The fire kept them warm that evening and the dried meat and berries tasted good.
When they sat beside the fire, he ventured, "I thought it was a very well drawn prairie hen, Star."
She glanced at him. Finally she said, "It is not well drawn at all. And it is supposed to be a falcon."
"Let me look at it."
Reluctantly she handed the leather shirt to him. It was indeed a pitiful drawingit looked like neither a prairie hen nor a falcon. He bit back his chuckles before they could erupt and offend her.
He handed the shirt back to her, keeping his face as solemn as he could.
"It is supposed to replace the beautiful shirt you hadthe one the jaguar shredded," she explained, her dark eyes sad.
"Ah. It is good of you to make me the shirt. You do not have to decorate it."
"Tula did."
"Ah." So that was it. Tula had made the other shirt and Star knew it.
"Yes. I wanted to draw a falcon as beautiful as she did."
He started to laugh. He could not help himself. He rolled on the floor, roaring with laughter while his wife looked on with a hurt expression.
"II" He could not get the words out, he was laughing so hard. "Sheshe"
"When you are done laughing at me, you Jaguar fool"he could hear the blizzard of ice in her voice"you may go hunting."
He kept laughing so hard he thought he was going to die. He laughed so hard his stomach hurt. Finally he gasped, "She did not draw that falcon. Betafor's oldest daughter did."
"What did you say?"
That got the little Badger's attention. "It is true. Betafor's oldest daughter is a very skilled artist. It was she who drew the falcon on my shirt. Not Tula."
Star looked suddenly relieved.
"And Tula cannot sing, either," he added generously.
Star smiled. She snatched up the leather shirt. "I am off to visit Betafor and her family. Do not wait up for me."
He chuckled to himself. Having a wife was proving very entertaining. And one advantage to having this Badger wife was that she could not go back to her people. She could not leave him. Ever. She was his.
He smiled at the fire, feeling more relaxed and happy than he had in a long, long time.
Chapter Thirty-seven
Spring
They had survived the winter, thought Star happily. The Jaguar People had used their stored foods and the men had hunted and they had all done very well. It helped that there had been only two blizzardsa mild winter. Star remembered one winter she had spent with the Badgers when the snows had raged fiercely for many days and nights. She was thankful that had not happened this time.
And while the Jaguar People were kind, she thought they should have been better prepared for the coldest time. Perhaps she should speak with Betafor and suggest they start preserving roots and bulbs earlier this year.
Star stood at the cave entrance. Behind her, Falcon still slept. She had crawled out of their warm fur robes and made her way to the entrance of the cave, lured forth by the shrill morning cries of little birds.
Before her lay a vista of gravel and hills and she could see the green of grass blades starting to push up here and there on the hills. Sage grass was growing once again. Yesterday she had seen a bear and two cubs. Spring was truly here.
She yawned and stretched easily in the warm spring sunshine. A new day had come and with it a happy feeling. She smiled to herself. Something very special had happened this winter. She was growing a baby.
She knew she was because Sageflower, who now waddled with a huge stomach on her and knew all about pregnancy, had assured Star she was indeed pregnant. No blood these past three moons, lethargy, even the vomiting, had all been signs, according to Sageflower, that Star was pregnant.
She had not told Falcon yet. She wanted to surprise him.
She hugged herself as she listened to the birds. It was truly a wonderful day. She had made a life for herself with the Jaguar People. She had made a home, she had made friends with most of the Jaguar women, and she and Falcon had enjoyed their time together. She loved him and he was a good husband to her. All was well with her.
And perhaps once Falcon knew they were expecting a child, he would be so happy he would let her visit her mother. Then everything would indeed be wonderful.
Humming a little song to herself, Star went back into the cave and yanked the fur robes off Falcon. He groaned.
"Get up, sleepy one," she sang.
He opened one dark eye and looked at her. "You are like a chirpy bird this morning."
She smiled. Today she would tell him the happy news.
"Get up. It is spring! It is time for men to be up and about."
He groaned and rolled over and put one muscular arm over his head. "Go away. It is too early." They had both become accustomed to sleeping late into the morning in the winter.
She snickered and picked up a corner of the elk hide. "Get up! Get up or you will regret it."
He moaned and put his other arm over his head.
She lifted the elk hide, trying to roll him off, but he was too heavy and her trick did not work.
Suddenly a hand clamped on her ankle. "Come here," he said gruffly. He pulled her down beside him and rolled over on her.
She stared up at him and smiled. "Time to get up, dear one."
He kissed her. "Not yet. I have something else to do."
His questing hands told her what that was. She giggled. They made sweet love. Afterward, as she lay satiated and lazy and thinking about burrowing under the furs once more, he jumped up from the bedrobes. "Now who is the lazy one?"
She watched him, amused that he thought he had
bettered her. She stretched, feeling good in every part of her body. "Falcon."
"Hmmm?"
"I have something to tell you."
He was putting some twigs on the fire to revive it and he did not answer. Then he retrieved some pieces of meat from a basket and brought one over to her. While chewing on a piece, he handed one to her. "You'd better get up and get us some water, woman. We have none."
She smiled. "We can go to the river together."
"Oh ho. Not me. You will not convince me to scramble down that slope to the river. I will stay here, where the fire is."
She laughed and rose. She handed the meat back to him while she dressed. When she went to retrieve it, she found him chewing the last of it. His eyes glinted. She held out her hand. "More meat," she demanded.
He chuckled and went over to the basket.
She followed him over. Three pieces left. "Looks like you had better go hunting," she observed as he handed her the largest piece.
He stretched and nodded. "Some of the other men will want to go, too," he agreed.
After he dressed, they walked down to the river and drank the refreshing water. "What was it you were going to tell me?"
How his smile warmed her. She loved him so.
She moved closer to him and took his hands in hers.
"Something has happened," she said. At his wary look, she laughed. "Something very good."
He looked relieved. She chuckled. "We," she announced, "are going to have a baby!"
She laughed aloud, delighted at surprising him.
He went very still; then he dropped her hands. When he stepped away, she stopped laughing. "Falcon?"
He turned to face her. His face looked grim.
"Falcon? What is wrong?"
He shook his head. "It is naught."
"Are you not happy?" She could barely get the words out.
He stared at her, his black eyes growing cool before her eyes. "Are you?" he asked cautiously.
"Oh, yes! I am very, very happy!"
She thought he tried to smile, but then he looked away and she could not tell what he thought.
When he turned back to her, his face was solemn. "I must go hunting now, Star."
Her mouth dropped open. "Now? Butbut"
"I need time to think about this."
"Time?"
"Yes. I must think about what this means."
"But Falcon, it is wonderful! It means we will have a child!"
He looked at her and his eyes glinted with pity. "Yes, it does mean that."
Then he turned and walked away, leaving her standing beside the river and holding the dripping water bladders. "Falcon?"
But he did not hear her.
Chapter Thirty-eight
It had been a handful of days since Falcon had learned that Star was going to have a babyhis baby. Throughout those long days, Falcon still could not bring himself to express the joy that she so readily showed. If only she were not pregnant, he thought desperately. Then everything would be good again.
But she was pregnant. She was growing his child.
He lay on his stomach in a small ravine, hiding under a twisted oak tree and waiting for deer to come and drink at the tiny stream. He had speared a deer here once before and he hoped the trick would work again. Also, it gave him time to think.
Seeing no deer, no coyote, nor anything else moving, he rolled onto his back and looked up at the blue sky through the twisted, budded branches of the oak. He sighed. He remembered how happy Tula had been when she had become pregnant with his child. And he had been very happy, too.
But he did not feel happy about Star's pregnancy. He felt sick with dread. He rolled over once more and buried his face in his arms, heedless of scaring away an animal.
Tula had a healthy son now. So the problem was not with her. It was with him. Deep in his heart he knew this. He, the father, was the reason that Hawk had been so sick and his body grown so twisted. Falcon could never admit this to anyone.
And now, how could he look into Star's beautiful, eager, brown eyes and tell her that her baby would be born as sick as Hawk? How could Falcon go through the terrible agony of watching another of his children sicken, watch him waste away day after day until death claimed him, knowing there was nothing he could do to help him. How could he do it?
He could not do it. He could not!
And Starwhat about her? After the baby came and she saw how slowly he grew, she would lose her hope that he would ever heal, just as Falcon had. Then she would grow to loathe her husband, as Tula had done. To see Star change from her loving ways to spiteful, hateful ways would undo him. And when she left him for another man, it would finish him. There would be nothing left in his life worth doing. He would be a dead man with no soul.
Star had already been cruel in an unknowing way: she had revived hope in him, hope that he could have love. He did not want to admit that to anyone, either. But since he was alone under the oak tree, he could admit it to himself. Just this one time. She had brought love to him again. He had known happiness in the time she had been with him. After Tula had left him, he had thought he would never be happy again, but Star had revived him.
He clenched his eyes shut. What could he do to stop the terrible fate hunting him down? With each passing day the child grew, and with each passing day Falcon wanted to hold Star tighter to him, knowing that one day he would lose her; she would turn away from him and never come back. What could he do?
Over and over again, he thought of how Tula blamed him for their child's death, of how she had left him for Marmot. And he knew the same thing would happen with Star. His stomach clenched with the dread of losing her and their child.
He knew only one thing: he could not go through such terrible losses again. He could not.
''Welcome back to our home," greeted Star.
Falcon stared at her wearily out of hooded eyes. Did she know how her words mocked him? Their "home" was about to be destroyed, far more completely than the mere destruction of a few furs and baskets which he had wrought before.
He grimaced as he sat down beside the fire. He had tried to stop Star from making a home. He
had known deep in his heart that he must stop her, stop the love, stop the hope. He had failed. But now the baby would destroy everything for them. No, not the baby, he corrected himself. It was he, Falcon, that was the source of the destruction that would fall upon them all.
She smiled at him as she handed him a roasted camas bulb. He ate it, not even tasting the spring delicacy.
"I went digging camas today with the other women," she said cheerfully.
He grunted.
"I see you return with no meat. You will do better tomorrow."
He stared at her. She thought something as paltry as returning without meat bothered him? He snorted.
She nibbled at a cooled camas root she held in her hand. He could feel her watching him, but he kept his eyes on the flames.
There was a long silence between them, one that Falcon felt too despairing to break.
"Horn stopped by. He wanted to go hunting with you on the morrow."
Falcon shrugged. He cared little what he did on the morrow.
He caught a look of concern on Star's face. He managed to say, "I will go with him."
She looked relieved at his answer. The deep dread in his stomach sat there with the camas and he wanted to sink into himself. There was nothing he could do to stave off the doom he saw ahead for himself. And for her.
She patted her stomach and beamed at him.
He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. Fear and dread warred in him.
"The baby flutters." She smiled. She took his hand and placed it on her gently rounded stomach. "Would you like to feel it?"
He felt a twinge under his fingers. He yanked his hand back as swiftly as if he had placed it in a lion's mouth.
She looked hurt. Anger rose in him. How could she expect him to be happy after what had happened to him?
He rose to his feet. "I go to talk to Horn." He left the cave.
"Falcon? Falcon, come back! We must talk"
He hurried around the corner of the cave entrance so that her words were cut off. He hunched over to protect himself against the sound of her voice behind him. He must do something to stop the fate that stalked them all. But what?
Chapter Thirty-nine
Star tromped along with Sageflower to the camas fields. Though the fields were at a considerable distance from the Bear Caves, the Jaguar women considered it worth the trek to obtain the tasty bulbs. Blue-flowered camas plants grew in a huge field near a river. The plants thrived in damp, black soil.
It was the second day the Jaguar women had gone to dig the small bulbs out of the ground and Star wanted to be sure she harvested enough to save for next winter.
"Do not walk so fast," panted Sageflower.
Star laughed and waited for her friend. "I know you must walk slower with that big belly of yours," she said affectionately.
Sageflower gave her a wise glance. "You will have a big belly soon. Just wait."
Star patted her slightly protruding stomach and smiled. "It is difficult for me to wait. I want to see my baby now!"
Sageflower chuckled. "Yes, it is a wonderful thing we do: growing new life within us."
Star nodded, but some of her exuberance faded. "I do not think Falcon is as happy about the babe as I am."
Sageflower looked so aghast that Star wished she had not spoken. "I am sure he will be happy once the babe comes along," she added hastily. But even she could hear the doubt in her voice.
"Deer Summoner is very excited," confided Sageflower. "He rubs my back for me and sings hunting songs to our baby at night." She giggled. ''He wants his son to be a strong hunter."
Star's lips trembled. "Hehe does a very fine thing for his son."
"What does Falcon do?"
Star bit her lip. "He goes hunting often," she hedged. She could not tell Sageflower how distant Falcon was becoming. It was difficult to get him even to speak with her. At times, she caught him staring at the fire, and the look on his face was so sad she wanted to cry. No, to tell Sageflower such things would only squash her friend's joy.
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