Full Figured 5

by Brenda Hampton

  “Apology accepted, but why are you looking at my blanket?” I asked.

  He picked it up and shook it in his hand. “I’m checkin’ for stains. Tryin’ to see if that muthafucka makes you shoot juices from that twat like I do.”

  I rolled my eyes, and tried to snatch the blanket from Roc. He pulled the blanket away from me, and as soon as I stood up, my robe fell apart. Roc could see my goodies underneath. He tightened the blanket in a ball and tossed it across the room. His arm reached out to my waist and he pulled me on top of him, leaning back. I grabbed his arm, trying to pull away, but he had a tight grip on me. I didn’t bother to tussle with him, and all I did was look down into his eyes.

  “Why are you really here?” I asked. “And I advise you not to use Chassidy as an excuse, as I had somewhat done when I came to see you.”

  “I’m here to see my daughter, but I’m also here to see if you want to get your groove back like Stella. Looks like I’m too late, especially since you got this other fool over here dippin’ and divin’ into the goods.”

  “He hasn’t dipped or dived anywhere, but how can you be so interested in me getting my groove back when you are getting yours back with Tiara? She is pregnant with your child, isn’t she?”

  “Tiara is good people, and yes, she is pregnant with my child. I’ma do right by her, too, and I wasn’t serious about comin’ here to see what was up with us. While I miss the hell out of you, Dez, you hurt me like I’d never been hurt before. I did a whole lot of shit for you . . . made some changes that I hadn’t made for no one. That doesn’t even include what I’d had done to Ronnie and it still wasn’t enough. I want us to be good friends, though, and I hope you’ll be down with me comin’ to see Chassidy again.”

  “She’s your daughter and I have no problem with you being in her life. I hope you are serious about doing right by the woman you’re with, and if you are, why do you have me wrapped in your arms like this?”

  Roc loosened his grip and eased his hands over my ass. He squeezed a nice-sized chunk of it, then let out a deep sigh. I could feel every bit of his hardness pressing against me. I wanted to straddle my legs so badly to ride him, but I didn’t want to appear anxious or desperate, especially since his intentions were to do right by another woman.

  “You wrapped in my arms like this because I still got love for you,” he admitted. “You ever hear of lovin’ somebody who you just can’t be with? Well, that’s what’s goin’ down with me. I’m not turnin’ back again, Dez. I don’t think you want to either. With all that I have goin’ on right now, it would be a big mistake. So, allow me to do what I need to do as Chassidy’s father and let’s keep all that other shit to the side.”

  I couldn’t tell if Roc was serious, but it sure as hell sounded like it. I had no desire to persuade him to change his mind. It appeared that he had some feelings for the chick he was living with and wanted things to work out. I wasn’t going to interfere, so it was wise for me to halt the drips from my coochie, remove myself from on top of him, and let him go. I did just that, and made my way to the door to open it.

  “I couldn’t agree with you more, Roc. Turning back does not seem like the sensible thing to do, but I am deeply sorry if you feel as if I was the one who hurt you. Maybe you’ll have better luck with Tiara. I’m proud of you for wanting to do right by her. If it were me, you know I’d want you to do the same.”

  Roc rubbed the minimal, trimmed hair on his chin, and slowly got off the couch. He stretched his arms, then yawned. “When can I expect to see Chassidy?” he asked.

  “She won’t be back until after Thanksgiving. You can stop by to see her then, but please do me a favor and call before you come.”

  He nodded and made his way to the door. His eyes lowered to my lips, but as my mouth started to water, he walked out the door. I closed it, wondering if we would stick to the plan.

  Chapter 4

  The plan was in place, for now, and Roc and I seemed to be sticking to it. I hadn’t heard from him since the day he’d left. Had I thought about him? Absolutely. But Roc was right. If he had that much going on in his life, I really didn’t want to be a part of it. And the whole thing with him having another child on the way truly bothered me, but it didn’t upset me enough where I wanted to inject myself into the madness. I had to leave well enough alone.

  The day before Thanksgiving, Darrell called to see if he could come over to keep me company. I’d told him the kids were still away and I really didn’t have much going on. In other words, he was welcome to come over. Monica had plans with her children, and even though she’d invited me over to join them, I just didn’t feel like leaving my house. Instead, I put on some soothing music and got busy on the few items I had planned to cook. I put my ham in the oven and started to boil the water for my mac and cheese. My stuffing had to be made and so did the crust for my peach cobbler. I had all night and Darrell claimed that he would help me with the cobbler. Actually, he’d made a bet that his cobbler would be better than mine, so it was on.

  I danced around the kitchen with my apron on while listening to my girl Mary J. I stopped to stir my noodles in the boiling pot on the stove, but when the doorbell rang, I wiped my hands on the apron and headed toward the door. My hair had a band around the front that pushed my curls to the back. I wore jeans and a BLACK GIRLS ROCK T-shirt that Monica had purchased for me last week. When I opened the door, Darrell had a plastic bag in his hand. He was ready to throw down with me.

  “I see you came prepared,” I said, taking his brown leather coat and hanging it on a coat hanger.

  Darrell laughed and pulled his pie crust from the bag. “Very prepared. Just point me in the direction of your kitchen and it’s on.”

  I pointed toward the kitchen, following Darrell as he walked in front of me. He also had on a pair of jeans, with a tan and brown sweater that matched his square-toe leather shoes. His bald head had a shine and the beard on his face was neatly trimmed. What I liked about Darrell the most was his eyes. They were light brown and alluring.

  Darrell placed the plastic bag on the kitchen table and pulled out a bottle of red wine. “I hope you like this wine. Let it chill for a while and we’ll toast to new beginnings later.”

  New beginnings? I wasn’t so sure about that. I took the wine from Darrell and put it over ice in the fridge. I then tossed him an apron, so he could get busy with me in the spacious kitchen that gave us plenty of room to cook.

  “I don’t need an apron,” he said, pulling out his pie crust again. He rolled up his sleeves, like he was getting ready to throw down. “All I need is for you to move out of my way, beautiful, and let me do my thing.”

  “I heard that. But I can already tell my peach cobbler is going to turn out much, much better than yours. I make my crust from scratch and my peaches do not come from a can.”

  Darrell watched as I pulled out all of my ingredients and put them on the table. He folded his arms, insisting that I wouldn’t be able to resist his cobbler once it was done.

  For the next hour or so, Darrell and I got busy. Both of our cobblers were in the oven with the ham. The whole house was infused with the smell of cinnamon and cooking peaches. I couldn’t wait to eat, but I was still in the midst of putting the finishing touches on my dressing. Darrell had gone to the bathroom and had taken two trash bags outside to the Dumpster. When he returned, he washed his hands and looked into the oven.

  “My cobbler looks ready,” he said. “The crust is golden brown, how I like it, but yours is still doing its thing.”

  I tossed Darrell a potholder and he removed his cobbler and my ham from the oven. He took the French vanilla ice cream that he’d purchased from the fridge and waited for the cobbler to cool, before he set it off with a scoop of ice cream. The slice he cut was put into a bowl and he topped the cobbler and ice cream with drizzled caramel. He couldn’t wait for me to taste it. His spoon was already up to my mouth. I opened it and the cobbler melted in my mouth. I closed my eyes, allowing the taste to marinat
e.

  “That is deeeelicious,” I admitted. “Oh my God, Darrell, your cobbler does taste better than mine. What did you put in there?”

  He was all smiles. “Wouldn’t you like to know? It’s my mother’s recipe and I can’t share it with no one. Not even you, beautiful, but I will make it for you anytime you want me to.”

  I had to have another piece of Darrell’s cobbler, and I had a slice of ham to make sure it was cooked to perfection. We sat at the kitchen table while enjoying a pleasant conversation.

  “I’m glad you let me come over to see you, Desa Rae. I didn’t have much to do today either. I’ll be going to my mother’s house tomorrow and I’m anxious to see my sister, who I haven’t seen in a long time. She’s coming in tomorrow. I have to pick her up from the airport.”

  “I remember your sister. She was on the cheerleading squad wasn’t she?”

  “Yes, she was. When I told her I’d been talking to you, she couldn’t believe it. She thought you and Reggie would be together forever. I think most people who you ask will probably say the same. The two of you seemed inseparable.”

  “At one point we were. But as we got older, he went in another direction. My heart was broken, but I’ve learned to cope with it. Our divorce was for the best, and there isn’t much that you can do when a man says that he’s fallen out of love with you.”

  “I feel you, but what about your daughter’s father? I didn’t get a real good look at him, but from what I saw, he looked real, real young. You don’t have that cougar thing going on, do you?”

  “I don’t know what the cougar thing is, but I do know that I found a man whose company I enjoyed. We had a child together and the rest is history.”

  “Are you still seeing him? I mean, by his reaction, I sensed something still going on with the two of you, even though you told him you were entertaining.”

  “There is nothing going on between us. Prior to a few days before that I hadn’t seen him in months. I am looking forward to him spending time with our daughter, but that’s it.”

  Darrell sipped from his glass of wine, I guessed thinking over what I had implied. I got up from the table to check on my food. I didn’t want to talk about Roc, as talking about him made me think about him. I stood, gazing at the pot of greens while stirring them. I wondered what Roc was doing for Thanksgiving. I figured he and his girlfriend was planning to have guests at their house. As I was in thought, Darrell crept up from behind me and put his arm around my waist. Honestly, I didn’t like the feel of his touch, nor did I enjoy the feel of his dick poking me in the back. I tried to play it off by smiling, yet pushing him back with my elbow.

  “Come on, Darrell. Let me get finished with cooking. I’m almost finished.”

  He kissed my cheek and asked if my cobbler was ready. I guessed my mind had been so preoccupied that I had forgotten about my cobbler. By the time I pulled it out of the oven, the edges of the crust were burnt. The inside still looked good enough to eat, but after eating Darrell’s cobbler, I wasn’t in a rush. I hurried to prepare the rest of my food, and after nibbling here and there, Darrell and I went to the family room to relax. I was kind of exhausted from cooking all day. I really wanted to take a shower and call it a night.

  “You look tired,” Darrell said while sitting next to me with a drink in his hand.

  “Very.”

  Darrell got on his knees and started to remove my house shoes. I laughed as he tickled my feet and massaged them. The massage felt pretty good, but when he eased his hand up my legs, I stopped him.

  “What’s going on with you, Desa Rae? Every time I make an advancement toward you, you stop me. Are you not feeling me? If not, let me know. I don’t want to waste my time.”

  “It’s not that, Darrell. I do like you, but I’m not some oversexed woman who has to have sex with every man she meets. I know we’ve known each other for a long time, but I really don’t know much about you, other than we went to school together. Besides, and to be honest, my heart is in another place right now. It may take some time for me to get over my previous relationship, so give me a little time, okay?”

  “Well, at least I know I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m glad you told me your heart is elsewhere and I really don’t want to waste much more of my time with this.”

  Darrell stood up. He went into the kitchen to gather some of his things. I felt terrible. I knew he was trying. Shame on me for acting as if he wasn’t good enough. I could very well let a decent man slip away.

  “Wait a minute,” I said to Darrell as he made his way toward the door to get his coat. “I don’t know why you’re rushing out of here. All I asked was for you to give us a little time. Is it that important for us to jump in the bed right away? I assume that’s why you’re upset, but I don’t normally get down like that, Darrell. It’s not my style.”

  Darrell folded his coat across his arm. “I don’t know about you, Desa Rae, but I’m not in high school anymore. We’re grown folks who are capable of making grown folks’ decisions. All I know is I like you, a lot. I’ve always liked you, and if I am given the opportunity to hook up with someone from my past whom I really cared for, then I’m going to take advantage of that. I guess your crush wasn’t what I thought it was.”

  Was this fool trying to play a guilt trip on me? So what I’d had a crush on him? That was a long time ago. Yes, we were grown, but being grown didn’t mean we couldn’t get STDs and we didn’t have to be careful about who our sexual partners were. I had no idea what Darrell had been doing for the past twenty years and I wasn’t in a rush to sleep with him, period. The way some men think drove me nuts, and since Darrell had taken the initiative to get his coat, I felt like whatever.

  “Call me when you feel as if you’re old enough to have sex and your feelings for that young buck are intact. It’s obvious that you have something going on with him and the look in your eyes the other day said it all. I should’ve gone about my business then and not wasted my time.”

  Darrell’s true colors were starting to show. Instead of responding to his ignorance, I opened the door for him and let him leave. I watched as he pulled out of my driveway, feeling no gain and no pain.

  After Darrell was gone, I cleaned up my kitchen and put the food away in the fridge. I was truly exhausted, ready to take my shower, get in bed, and read a book. My shower was so relaxing. As the water sprayed on my face, I scrubbed it with soap and water. My eyes were closed, but when I heard a noise, my eyes shot open. I stood for a moment, trying to see if I’d hear the noise again. I didn’t, but as soon as I turned off the water, I heard the phone ringing. I figured it was probably the kids calling me back. I’d planned on calling them before I went to bed. I dried myself, moisturized my body, then changed into a cotton nightgown that made me comfortable. I tossed my body towel over my shoulder, just so I could take it to the washroom with the other towels to wash them. But as I made my way down the hallway, I was cut off by Darrell. He jumped out from my guestroom and stood in front of me. My heart dropped to my stomach. I was so nervous that I couldn’t even scream.

  “What are you doing in my house, Darrell? You scared the shit out of me! How did you . . .”

  The weird look in his eyes didn’t feel right as he stared at me. His face was that of a stone and he didn’t blink. I didn’t say another word, and when I attempted to rush back into my room, he grabbed me by the back of my hair. He pulled it so tight that I had to squeeze my watery eyes to cease the pain.

  “What do you want?” I cried out as he shoved me into my bedroom. I reached up to pull at his hands, but they felt solid, like a rock that I couldn’t move.

  He spoke through gritted teeth. “I don’t like how you tried to play me! I should take what I want, but it’s going to suit me just fine to knock the shit out of you.”

  Darrell pushed me on the bed and like a raging madman he jumped on top of me. I swiftly kicked my legs and wiggled around like a flopping fish so he wouldn’t be able to restrain me.

  “Noo
o!” I shouted. “Get the hell off meee!”

  Darrell used the back of his hand to slap it across my face. My head jerked to the side and my left cheek burned. The blow was so powerful that it knocked me into reality. I wasn’t sure if he was going to try to rape me, and I questioned my strength to get him off me.

  “You’re not going to get away with this!” I yelled. “Yo . . . you can’t do this to meee!”

  “Shut up!” he ordered, then head-butted me. My brain felt rattled, so I squeezed my eyes to help ease the pain.

  Darrell pinned my hands down to the bed, holding them so tight that I thought my wrists would crack. He seemed to get heavier, and I was running out of breath trying to force him off me. My next move was to distract him, and when I spat a gob of saliva in his face, he jerked his head back. I watched my spit slide down his face, and as soon as he wiped it, I kneed him in his groin as hard as I could. His eyes opened wider and his mouth dropped open. “Fuuuuck!” he shouted. “You fucking biiiiitch!”

  I knew he wanted to reach down to soothe his burning balls, and as he thought about doing it, I kneed him again. This time, he released my hands and rolled over on his back. He used both of his hands to cuff his nuts and swayed back and forth on the bed. I didn’t have much time before he came after me again, so I had to think fast. It was either the phone, which was ringing again, or my gun that was tucked away in my closet. Calling 911, it would take the police time to get here. I didn’t want to answer the phone, because I suspected it was my kids. I was already off the bed and in my closet. I knocked several of my shoeboxes off the shelves and reached for my pistol that was hidden behind them. By this time, Darrell was already standing at the door, staring at the trembling gun in my hand.

  “Don’t make me do this, Darrell!” I shouted with tears streaming down my face. My hair was sitting wildly on my head and my nightgown was ripped down the middle. Titties hanging out and all, I was now looking like the madwoman.