Full Figured 5

by Brenda Hampton

  “Put the gun down, Desa Rae,” Darrell said, inching forward. “I was just playing—”

  I wanted Darrell out or dead . . . didn’t matter either way. He wasn’t exiting fast enough for me, so I cocked the gun, closed my eyes, and pulled the trigger. The loud pop scared the shit out of me! My body jerked back a bit and I almost lost my balance. I wasn’t sure where the bullet went, but Darrell moved so fast that if you blinked, you missed him. He was gone. I rushed out of the closet, following him as he pulled on the front door, leaving it wide open. He peeled out of my driveway, tires screeching and burning rubber.

  “Don’t bring your ass back here again!” I yelled out to him. “Next time you may not be so lucky!”

  I closed the door, thanking God that this situation didn’t turn out in Darrell’s favor. I was thankful that I’d had a gun, and the only reason I’d had one was because of the threats I’d gotten from Roc’s uncle Ronnie. While I didn’t have to use it for him, it disturbed me that I had to use it for somebody I thought I knew.

  I walked away from the door to go turn on my alarm. I checked all of my doors and windows, realizing that Darrell must have left the back door unlocked when he’d taken out the trash. I knew there was something about him that I didn’t like. What I felt inside didn’t have much to do about my feelings for Roc. Being desperate for companionship was a dangerous thing. I realized that I had to be careful about the men I brought into my home. Chassidy could’ve been here. A man like Darrell proved that he was capable of doing anything.

  I changed into another nightgown and reached for the phone to call the police. I wanted to report this incident and stop Darrell from doing this to another woman. He was straight-up crazy, and his charming ways were a bunch of bologna. I guessed it upset him when I didn’t fall for it, and I felt deeply sorry for the women who had. The 911 operator said that she’d send a policeman right over, so I waited on the couch in the family room until he arrived. I also checked my phone to see who had been calling me. I didn’t recognize the number and when I checked my messages, there were none. I dialed Latrel’s cell phone number, just to see if the number was from Angelique’s mother’s resort.

  “I called you earlier, Miss Lady, but you didn’t call back,” Latrel said. “What’s up with you?”

  I wouldn’t dare tell Latrel what had happened. “Nothing, sweetheart. I left a message on your phone earlier. You should’ve checked it.”

  “Maybe so. We’ve been so busy, I hadn’t done so. Angelique’s mom wanted to see how you were doing too, and she wanted me to tell you that it’s not too late for you to come to Florida and join us.”

  “Tell Jenay I will join you all next time. I’ve been trying to get some rest during my vacation. I’m sure you all have been all over Florida and haven’t gotten much rest at all, especially with Chassidy.”

  “No, we didn’t take a vacation to rest. Chassidy is having a good time. She wants to speak to you, so hold on.”

  Right now, there wasn’t much to smile about, but when I heard Chassidy’s voice, it brought a comforting smile to my face. “Mommy, I had so much fun today. I met Mickey Mouse in person and I bought you a pair of Mickey Mouse ears and a cookie jar for your cookies. I bought my daddy a Mickey Mouse watch and I hope to give it to him on Christmas. Have you spoken to him yet? I hope so because I really need to see him . . . and my brother. I got him some Mickey Mouse ears too.”

  This situation was starting to hurt. I didn’t know what to tell Chassidy, because I wasn’t so sure if Roc was serious about coming by to see her. My mind was all over the place, so I handled this as best as I could. “I haven’t heard from him yet, sweetheart, but I’m so sure I’ll be hearing from him soon. I know he’ll love his watch. I bet he has something nice for you too. For now, enjoy yourself and Mommy will see you soon, okay?”

  “Okay,” she said. Without seeing her, I could still feel her happiness over the phone. Chassidy told me she loved me and gave the phone back to Latrel.

  “Hold on a second,” he said. I could hear Latrel moving around, and when he got back on the phone, he questioned me about Roc. “That’s all Chassidy talks about is him. At first it was here and there, but now it’s more often than usual. Have you heard from him? I tried to call him myself, but his number was disconnected.”

  “We’ve talked, Latrel, but I don’t want to talk about Roc right now. I have some other things going on. I will deal with the situation when I can.”

  “Okay, Mama. I’m not going to get on you like you do me, but if I can do anything for you, let me know.”

  “You already do enough. All I want is for you to finish school, take care of your wife, and be happy. Seems like you’re on the right path.”

  “I am. No doubt.”

  The doorbell rang and I told Latrel I had to go. We exchanged the love and ended the call. Hurrying to the door, I pulled it open, but forgot to turn off the alarm. It blasted loudly and startled me more than I was, after seeing Roc. He stepped inside and I ran to the kitchen to key in the code for the alarm. It went off as Roc came into the kitchen.

  “I’ve been callin’ you all day,” he said with a frown on his face. “Why haven’t you been answerin’ yo’ phone?”

  Before I could say anything, I heard an officer’s walkie-talkie. Roc heard it too, and we both made our way back to the front door. The officer had stepped inside with his hand on his holster. When he saw me and Roc, he gripped it tighter. I quickly spoke up.

  “My name is Desa Rae Jenkins. I’m the one who called.”

  The officer looked past me, turning his attention to Roc. “Who is he?” the officer asked.

  I could see the puzzled look on Roc’s face. It was an angry yet serious look that alarmed the officer. “This is a friend of mine,” I said, touching Roc’s arm and looking at him. “If you don’t mind, would you have a seat in the living room while I talk to the officer about what happened?”

  I hoped that Roc wouldn’t question me, or say anything to the officer. But he kept looking at me, then asked how I had gotten the red mark on my face.

  “I promise to tell you in a minute. Let me talk to the officer first, okay?”

  Roc nodded, but instead of sitting in the living room, he made his way back to my bedroom. The officer and I remained standing in the foyer. I told him everything that happened with Darrell and the officer took notes. While he took notes, I took him to my bedroom and let him see the inside of my closet where I’d shot at Darrell. He saw the bullet hole that had gone into the lower wall. My aim wasn’t worth a damn. I also showed the officer my gun.

  “Is it registered?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I said, then showed him my registration papers.

  The officer stepped out of my closet and glanced at Roc, who was sitting on the bed with his arms folded and eyes focused on the TV. There was a little tension between the two, and on Roc’s behalf, I certainly knew why. I was relieved when the officer made his way back down the hallway.

  “We’ll put a warrant out for Darrell’s arrest. Feel free to call me if you need anything else. I will do the same if additional information is needed.”

  The officer gave me his card and left. I peeked through the window, looking as he sat in his car for about ten minutes, writing notes and looking at Roc’s SUV. I was a bit nervous, but when the officer slowly pulled away, I felt better. I returned to my bedroom where Roc was still sitting on the bed. He couldn’t wait to ask. “What in the hell happened?”

  I sat next to him on the bed, telling him what had gone down between me and Darrell. Roc’s eye kept twitching and he continued to suck in his bottom lip. After I finished telling him, he stood up and put his hands in his pockets.

  “Why you let that funky-feet muthafucka up in here anyway, Dez? My daughter could’ve been here with that nigga. Don’t you recognize a sly-ass fool when you see one? Are you that damn naïve and desperate?”

  Roc’s words shocked the hell out of me. I couldn’t believe how angry he was, and he
didn’t have to diss me. I was the one who was about to be beat down by this fool, not him. “I had some eerie feelings about Darrell, but since I’d known him from high school, I didn’t think he would do anything like that. The guy I’d known had always been a nice guy, but I guess people change.”

  Roc shook his head. He looked disgusted. “Nice guy from high school, huh? What kind of shit is that? You damn right people change, but my problem is women like you, Dez. Y’all always goin’ for the men who dress nice, who talk a good game, and kiss y’all asses. If he got a li’l change in his pockets and got a nine-to-five job, he’s the best thing since sliced bread. Y’all want somebody to cater to yo’ every damn need and do what y’all tell him to do. A brotha like me, on the other hand, can’t get no play.”

  “That’s not so and you know it. I gave our relationship a chance, but you made a lot of mistakes too, Roc. Mistakes that—”

  He quickly shot me down. “Mistakes? Naw, baby, I just wasn’t perfect enough for you. Ya see, I’m looked down on, and because my English ain’t that of a professor, I don’t know shit. I’m too thuggish to be considered a ‘real’ man, and whether you know it or not, by my own people, I’m tossed into the category of a street nigga. One who don’t know how to make a livin’, always lookin’ for handouts, and don’t know shit about how to treat women. You damn right I’m a street nigga, with street smarts. I know how to make money and don’t nobody give me shit. If I got love for my woman, I give her the respect she gives me. Unlike your high school lover, I don’t have to take no pussy, because a woman who knows what I’m all about will willingly give it to me. But, like you, many think I’m not good enough. Keep on thinking that, and I guarantee you that many more of your so-called high school lovers will cross your path. Have your gun loaded with bullets, because you’ll need it again. I’m out.”

  Roc turned to leave, but I tried to make light of the situation, even though I knew it was bad. “He wasn’t trying to rape me, so get that out of your head. He was upset and wanted to fight. . . .”

  I rushed up from my bed to stop him from leaving. I grabbed his arm and turned him to face me. “Look, forget about him. But, don’t you dare put those words in my mouth about how I feel about you. I never said you wasn’t good enough, Roc, and you know it. Perfect men don’t exist and neither do perfect women. I’ve made some mistakes too, but you were the one who left me and Chassidy, time and time again. What was I supposed to do, Roc? When you came to Latrel’s wedding, what did you expect for me to do?”

  Roc peeled my tight fingers away from his arm and faced me. “You sound like a fool defendin’ him. You don’t know what he was capable of doin’ to you. But, regardin’ us, you were supposed to give us a chance. You knew what I had done for you, Dez, but you walked yo’ ass away from me that day and hurt the shit out of me. That pain was worse than what I had done to Ronnie. To do that to him, then have you turn your back on me . . . it wasn’t a good feelin’. You’ll never understand what I’m sayin’ to you, because you don’t want to. It was all about you, but you know what, baby? Not anymore.”

  Roc walked off, again, but I refused to go after him. This was just too much; he was blaming me and a huge part of me was still blaming him. I was drained from all that had happened, and once I heard the front door shut, I got in bed. I tucked my body pillow between my legs, thinking about this long day that disgusted me. My throat ached so badly; it was hard for me to swallow. Maybe I had been desperate and naïve. Why else would I have let a man like Darrell come into my home? I didn’t know, but one thing I was sure of was I felt so alone. The man I really did love was with another woman and they had a baby on the way. Roc had no clue how much I still loved him, and at this point, I would’ve taken a man like him over a man like Darrell any day of the week. As I was deep in thought, wiping my tears, I heard someone clear his throat. My breathing came to a halt as I quickly lifted my head to see who it was.

  “You should’ve gotten up to lock the door,” Roc said, coming farther into the room. “I can’t believe after what happened today, you would lie there without makin’ sure your door was locked.”

  I never liked for a man to see me cry, so I hurried to wipe my face and sat up in bed. “I was getting ready to get up and check it.”

  Roc stood silent in front of the bed while looking at me. “I regret bein’ so hard on you and I’m sorry that you went through that bullshit today. If the police don’t find that nigga, I guarantee you I will. He will never be given the opportunity to put his hands on you again and his ass will pay.”

  I was sure Roc wouldn’t listen to my recommendation, and I figured he would do something to Darrell behind my back. “I’m sure the police will find him, so please stay out of this. I don’t want you to get involved, and we both can agree that you’ve already done enough to protect me.”

  Roc stood silent again. After a few minutes, he pulled his shirt off and tossed it on a leather recliner that sat near my television. “I’m stayin’ the night with you,” he said. “You look like you could use some for real company and I don’t want you up all night worried about what happened.”

  Now, what made him think I was going to get some sleep with him in my bed? I was glad that he was staying. He left the room, then came back with ice wrapped in a towel. When he lay next to me, I felt very protected. Roc wrapped his arms around my shoulders, then put the icepack on the side of my face. I rested my head on his solid chest, appreciating the nice gesture as well as his good-smelling cologne. His jeans were still on and his cell phone was ringing inside his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the number.

  “Do you mind if I answer this?” he asked.

  I shrugged, feeling somewhat uneasy. I assumed it was a female.

  “What up?” he asked. He paused and I could hear the sound of a female’s voice on the other end. “I’m with T-Bone and Durk right now. Don’t know how much longer I’ll be, but I’ll hit you back when I’m on my way.” He paused again. I could hear her talking; then there was laughter. Roc laughed too. “Yo’ ass is crazy than a mutha. I knew you was gon’ say somethin’ about that fool, and when he go off on you, don’t come cryin’ to me.” She spoke up, then Roc did. “You know I will. But let me get at you in a minute. We need to make a move.” I figured she told him she loved him, because he replied, “You’d better,” and ended the call.

  “Sorry ’bout that,” he said. “I wasn’t tryin’ to be disrespectful, but when she calls I try to answer, especially with her bein’ pregnant and all. She’s had some complications and I want to make sure she’s all right.”

  “Sure,” was all I said. Lord knows the conversation didn’t sit well with me, especially if Roc had found a woman he seemed genuinely happy with. It didn’t seem like this chick brought the drama like Vanessa did, but there was one thing. He was willing to lie to her in order to be with me. If he cared so much about this woman, why was he not with her on the eve of Thanksgiving? I wasn’t sure what his excuse was going to be in the morning, and as nice as she seemed right now, I was sure her tone would change.

  As we lay in bed, I wiggled my fingers between Roc’s and held his hand. I asked him to remove the towel because my face was starting to feel numb. He placed the towel on the nightstand, then secured me in his arms again. I rubbed his chest while his hand swayed up and down on my back. Being with him felt so right. I wondered if he was feeling what I was. He pecked my forehead a few times, trying to comfort me. “If that nigga would have hurt you tonight,” he said, “I don’t know what I would’ve done. I’m glad you had that gun, but I wish you would have blown his fuckin’ brains out. I hate niggas who go out like that. If a woman don’t want you, she just don’t want you.”

  “I agree. But, when she does, you’ll definitely know it,” I said, looking up at him. My eyes lowered to his sexy lips.

  “Don’t even think about it,” he said with a smile. “I told you we ain’t gettin’ down like that and I mean it.”

  “Well, I guess this means
that I’m in trouble again. Deep, deep trouble . . . trouble that I’m always looking forward to.”

  “You are in trouble, but I’m not the one who is goin’ to punish you. Now, get some sleep and erase those dirty thoughts from yo’ mind. You ain’t got jack comin’, baby. Nothin’.”

  Roc was really standing his ground, and if he was trying to be all that he needed to be to another woman, I said that I wouldn’t interfere. I dropped my thoughts and put my head back on his chest. Within minutes, I could hear myself, as well as Roc, snoring.

  By morning I was still tired, and was awakened by the sound of grunting. Roc’s phone ringing throughout the night drove me crazy and every time it rang, I jumped from my sleep. At some point he had turned it off and that allowed the both of us to get some sleep. I raised my head, only to see him on the floor doing sit-ups in his boxers.

  “Morning,” he strained to say. “Your bathwater ready, so get to it so I can get some breakfast.”

  I got out of bed and stepped over him. “Thanks for getting my bath ready for me, but you should be able to handle breakfast too, right?”

  “Yeah, I can do that, so hurry.”

  As he continued with his quick workout, I kept thinking of Lance Gross in my mind. When I told Roc I thought he resembled Lance, he totally disagreed. That was funny, because they could be considered twins. To cool myself, I hurried to take my bath. While I was in the tub, Roc said he was going to the kitchen to make us some bacon and eggs. I thanked him again, and was delighted that he was prolonging his visit.

  Within the hour, I wrapped up my bath and covered myself with a pink cotton robe. I’d washed my hair, and put it in a thick ponytail that had plenty of dangling, tight curls. My full face was free of makeup and my body lotion had me covered with the smell of sweet strawberries. I left my bedroom and as I reached the end of the hallway, I could see Roc in the kitchen cooking. He had a Bluetooth attached to his ear while talking to someone. I couldn’t hear his conversation, but with his back facing me, I heard him laughing a few times.