I Can't Let Go

by Chenell Parker

  “I don’t know baby. Let’s go inside and see,” Venus replied. As soon as he opened the door, everything was made clear.

  “Surprise!” everyone yelled as soon as Tino walked in.

  Some of his family members on both sides were in attendance. Tino turned around and looked at Venus and she could tell that he wasn’t too happy. She was tired of him moping around every year for his birthday and she just wanted to put a smile on his face. Now, seeing the angry expression that he was wearing had Venus regretting her decision. Even Val looked upset as she stood there next to her husband. She respected her son’s decision not to do anything on his birthday and she was pissed that Venus didn’t.

  “Happy birthday baby. I told her not to do this, but she doesn’t listen,” Val whispered as she hugged her son.

  Tino wasn’t happy about it but he didn’t want to make his guests feel uncomfortable. He walked around and greeted everybody before he took a seat at the table that was reserved for him and Venus. The place was decorated in black and orange and the cake was a replica of his car. Admittedly, everything was nice, but he wasn’t in the mood to celebrate.

  “Can you at least pretend to be happy?” Venus asked as she looked over at him.

  “That’s exactly what I’m doing. I told you that I just wanted to chill,” Tino replied, right as a server walked over with a plate of appetizers.

  “Forgive me for trying to put a smile on my man’s face,” Venus snapped angrily.

  Tino wanted to go off on her but he let it go. She had the nerve to get mad about something that she shouldn’t have done. Instead of replying, he enjoyed his food and mingled with his guests. Before long, hours had gone by and Val was passing out the birthday cake that she’d cut. The party was almost over and he couldn’t be happier.

  “I know you’re mad cuz, but she meant well,” Dirty said as he looked over at his cousin. Tino was standing there talking to him, Ramon, Ronald and their uncle Corey.

  “That nigga is ungrateful as fuck,” Ramon replied. He was laughing when he said it, but they all knew that he was serious.

  “Fuck what you think. I said that I wanted to chill for my birthday, and she should have respected that shit. It’s all good though. It’s over now.” Tino shrugged, right as his sister, Cardia, walked into the room.

  “Aww shit,” Dirty mumbled.

  “Man, the fuck is Cardia really on right now,” Tino said as he watched her walking over towards them.

  Her being there wasn’t the problem. It was who she was there with that had him side eyeing her. Jamya was her best friend, but she was also the chick who Tino was creepin’ around with. He had been with her earlier that day when he left Venus. He didn’t expect to see her again, especially while Venus was present. Jamya and Venus had fought twice before but he wasn’t about to let it happen a third time. He had his son to think about and he was pissed that his sister didn’t think about him too.

  “Happy birthday brother.” Cardia smiled as she handed Tino a card.

  “What’s good Cardia?” Dirty asked as he discreetly nodded towards Jamya.

  “She’s my plus one,” Cardia smirked as she saw Venus get up and make her way over to them.

  She was with her best friend, Zoe, but she could get it too. Zoe was related to Tino through marriage on his mother’s side and Cardia gave no fucks about her. Venus was a no good, messy bitch who was always trying to play the victim. She and Cardia used to be cool until Venus hooked her boyfriend up with one of the girls who worked in her nail salon. It was fucked up because Cardia went there every other week to get serviced. They were probably laughing behind her back knowing that one of the workers was fucking her man. When she caught her boyfriend, Romello, with the other woman, she beat the brakes off both their asses. Mell and Cardia had been together for years and had a son. He begged her to take him back and ended up confessing to what Venus had done. Cardia was heated but she soon returned the favor. She hooked her girl, Jamya, up with Tino and they had been kicking it for a while. Mell stopped fucking with ole girl at the nail salon but the same couldn’t be said about Tino and Jamya. Cardia didn’t just get mad, she got even.

  “I know you ain’t disrespect me by inviting one of your side bitches here. Please tell me that you didn’t,” Venus fumed as she stood in front of Tino.

  “How could I invite anybody when I didn’t even know about it?” Tino asked.

  “I want that bitch the fuck out of here Tino, now,” Venus gritted.

  “Sit down and relax Vee. I’ll handle it,” Tino promised.

  “What’s the problem bro?” Cardia smirked when she saw the two of them whispering.

  “You know muthafucking well what the problem is! I guess you call yourself being funny by bringing this bitch here!” Venus yelled.

  “Why I gotta be a bitch though? I’m not trying to ruin our man’s special day. I already gave the birthday boy his present earlier. Didn’t I Tino?” Jamya smiled as she licked her lips.

  “Bitch!” Venus yelled as she tried to get at her. Val and Ced hurriedly ran over to see what was going on. They were concerned about their grandchild and they didn’t want Venus to be in there fighting while pregnant.

  “Aye, y’all gotta go Cardia. I don’t even know why you thought this was a good idea,” Tino fussed while holding Venus back.

  “You know better Cardia!” their father yelled angrily as he looked over at her.

  “What did I do? Nobody even said nothing to her insecure ass. Bitch always dishing out what she can’t take,” Cardia replied.

  “Chill out cuz. We’re here to celebrate. Let that shit go,” Dirty said as he tried to diffuse the situation.

  “I’m good cousin. She can’t get mad because her man chose to spend most of his birthday with my friend. After all, he’s her man too,” Cardia replied as she and Jamya laughed.

  “Let me go! I’m bout to knock both of them hoes out! Get off me!” Venus yelled as she tried to get out of the hold that Tino had her in. She was wild as hell as she tried to free herself from his grasp.

  “Come on niece. Let me walk y’all out,” Corey said as he put his arm around Cardia’s shoulder and led her out of the party.

  “Bitch, you better leave!” Venus yelled, right before she felt a sharp pain in her stomach.

  “What’s wrong Vee?” Tino asked when he saw the pained expression on her face.

  “My stomach is starting to hurt,” Venus replied.

  “Oh no. Come sit down Venus. You need to relax,” Val said as she led her over to a chair.

  “Oww, it hurts too bad. I think I need to go to the hospital,” Venus said as tears came to her eyes.

  “Fuck!” Tino hissed, hoping that his baby would be okay.

  “Go get the car Tino. We’ll walk her downstairs. Make sure your grandma and aunties get home safe Ronald. The party is over. Everybody can leave now,” Ced said as he helped Venus stand up.

  “Not again. God, please. I can’t be losing my baby,” Venus cried as Val and Ced slowly walked her downstairs.

  “Don’t talk like that Venus. His daddy is a fighter and so is he,” Val said as they walked outside of the building.

  Tino was pulling up as soon as they did. He was nervous but Val understood. Venus was in pain and crying as he broke the rules of the road getting her to the hospital. She was immediately admitted and set up in a room. Tino paced the floor of the waiting room while waiting for someone to tell him what was going on.

  “Family of Venus Lofton,” a nurse said when she walked into the waiting room.

  “Yeah, that’s me. Is everything okay?” Tino asked as he rushed over to her. His parents were in the waiting room along with Dirty and Zoe.

  “She’s in premature labor and we’re doing everything that we can to stop it. It’s way too soon for the baby to come. His lungs, heart and brain are not ready for him to live outside the womb just yet. We’re giving her fluids and steroids in the IV to speed up the development of his lungs. We’re also giving her
brethine to relax her uterus and stop premature labor,” the nurse replied.

  “Can we see her?” Zoe asked.

  “Yes, she’s in her room so y’all can follow me,” the nurse replied as she turned and walked away.

  Ced and Dirty stayed in the waiting room while the rest of them went to the back. When they got into the room, Venus was lying in bed with a monitor on her stomach. The IV was pumping medicine into her and Tino prayed that it worked.

  “How you feeling Vee?” Tino asked as he kissed her lips. He took a seat on the side of her bed and grabbed her hand.

  “My stomach still hurts a little, but she said that it’s normal. They want me to go to at least twenty-eight weeks. The baby has a ninety percent chance of living if I do,” Venus replied.

  “You’ll go even longer than that. He’s a Lopez, so you know he’s a fighter.” Zoe smiled.

  “That’s right,” Val agreed as she nodded her head.

  “Not yet lil man. Eight more weeks. That’s all I need,” Tino said as he rubbed Venus’ stomach and made her smile.

  “I’m just so nervous. Why am I still in pain?” Venus worried as tears fell from her eyes.

  “Don’t worry boo. You’re in the best place for you and the baby,” Zoe noted.

  “Let’s pray,” Val said as she pulled her rosary beads from her purse.

  They all bowed their heads as Val said a prayer for Venus and the baby’s health before she and Zoe left. Tino knew that prayer changed things but, unfortunately, it didn’t change their situation. Two days later, Venus started having bad cramps accompanied by bleeding. They had to induce her labor and she pushed out a stillborn baby. He didn’t really have any features and he didn’t even weigh a pound. Tino was devastated but not more than she was. He wasn’t even thirty yet but she was nearing the forty-year mark. Her chances of having a baby were decreasing by the day and that was enough to depress anyone.

  “T hank you, baby. I appreciate everything that you’ve been doing for me lately,” Venus said as she looked over at Tino and smiled.

  Almost two weeks had passed since she lost their baby and she went into a deep depression. She stayed in the hospital overnight after she had him and Tino had been by her side the entire time. Venus didn’t even want to get out of bed to shower but he didn’t let her mope around all day. He made Venus get up and do things and, after the first week, she’d started to feel better. She decided that she was ready to get back to work, so he took her out to breakfast before she went to the shop. Venus needed to do something to take her mind off her misery and working usually did the trick. The ladies who worked in her shop provided all the entertainment and distractions that she needed.

  “I got something else for you too,” Tino replied. He would be forever grateful to Venus for how she nursed him back to health after he was shot. Returning the favor was the least that he could do. Besides that, he felt her pain since it was his baby that she lost.

  “Where is it? Give it to me,” Venus said excitedly.

  “It’s at the house,” Tino noted.

  Venus had stayed the night at his house and her car was parked in his driveway. He wanted to do something to lift her spirits, so he got her the purse that she had been asking him for. When they pulled up to his house, Tino’s phone rang and Dirty’s number popped up. Venus frowned when he answered because she knew that he would be on it for a while. She wanted her gift, but she wasn’t about to wait for him to give it to her. Tino sat downstairs on the phone while Venus went to his bedroom to see what he had for her. After looking in his closet and under the bed, she was already tired of searching. Venus laid down in the bed and waited for him to get done. She looked on her social media pages for a while until her phone notified her that her battery was dying.

  She looked around on the floor to see if the charger was where it usually was, but she didn’t see it. Venus looked through the nightstand drawers and stopped when she ran across a black velvet box. Venus’ eyes got wide with excitement when she opened it and saw the huge diamond engagement ring that was inside. When Tino said that he had something for her, she never expected it to be a marriage proposal. She slipped the ring onto her finger and it fit perfectly. She didn’t even know that he knew her ring size, but she wasn’t going to question it. Being his wife was even better than giving him his first child and Venus couldn’t help the tears that formed in her eyes. She was about to go downstairs to give him her answer, but she heard him walking down the hall before she could.

  “Oh, my God, baby! Yes! My answer is yes!” Venus yelled as she jumped into his arms. He was holding a Louis Vuitton shopping bag in his hand and he looked confused as to what she was talking about.

  “What are you saying yes to?” Tino asked.

  “Duh. The proposal silly. I was looking for the phone charger, but I found this instead,” Venus screamed excitedly as she showed him the ring that was on her finger.

  “Vee, wait,” Tino replied as he ran his hand across his face and sighed.

  He could have kicked his own ass for not putting the ring back in its rightful hiding place. Whenever he got in his feelings and thought about Kimora, he would pull it out and stare at it for hours. It had been in the drawer for three days and he forgot all about it being there. The fact that it fit Venus’ finger perfectly was nothing but a coincidence.

  “I felt like I wanted to die when I lost our baby. Now, I feel like life is just beginning. I can’t wait to tell Zoe, so we can start planning. You just don’t know what this means to me,” Venus cried happily as Tino stood there feeling like shit.

  He didn’t have the heart to tell her that the ring wasn’t hers. She’d been so down and depressed since she lost their son and he couldn’t bring himself to give her more bad news. She obviously didn’t read the engraving. If she had, she would have been crying for a different reason.

  “Here,” Tino said as he handed her the gift that was really hers. Venus opened the bag and squealed in delight when she was the purse that she had been hinting at wanting for weeks.

  “Thank you, baby. I don’t think this day can get any better. I can’t wait to get to work and show everybody my ring. I love you so much Tino. I need to get out of here. I can’t even sit still. See you later baby,” Venus said excitedly as she ran out of the room.

  “Fuck my life,” Tino said as he fell back onto the bed.

  There was no way in hell he was marrying Venus and he had to be real with her before she even started making plans. When his phone rang, Tino quickly answered when he saw his uncle Mateo calling.

  “Hola nephew,” Mateo said in his thick Dominican accent once the call was connected.

  “What’s good Unc?” Tino asked as he sat up. He knew that his uncle didn’t call unless it was something important. More than likely, it had to do with making Tino even more money than he already had.

  “I need to see you. How soon can you get here?” Mateo asked.

  “I’ll be on the next flight out,” Tino replied.

  “Good. How’s business going?” Mateo asked.

  “Dirty is handling it better than I expected,” Tino noted.

  “You know, I was skeptical about him at first until we met. He’s loyal and you need that more than anything. You’re my only sister’s only son and I feel like you’re one of my own. It’ll kill Valentina if something happens to you. That’s why I always tell you to pay attention to your surroundings. Whoever took a shot at you is still around. More than likely it’s someone in your circle who you still see every day,” Mateo said.

  “I don’t really have a circle. Besides my cousins, I don’t be with nobody else,” Tino pointed out.

  “I’m sure your mother told you the story of how our father was killed. It was his own brother Santino. His brother whom he loved and saw every single day. Money breeds envy. Family means nothing to some people, but it means everything to me,” Mateo replied, giving him something to think about.

  For some reason, Ramon’s face popped up in Tino’
s mind. Out of all the cousins, he seemed to have a problem with Tino the most. He was a hater and he didn’t try to hide the way he felt. Although Tino didn’t do business with him like he used to, he still always found a reason to complain. Dirty handled the day to day business but he still found a way to blame Tino if something didn’t go his way.

  “Yeah, I hear you Unc and you’re right. I got too damn comfortable and almost lost my life,” Tino replied.

  “No worries nephew. Patience is key. They’ve gotten comfortable by now thinking that they got away with it. That’s exactly what we want them to do. I’ll see you soon and my condolences on the loss of your baby,” Mateo said before he hung up the phone.

  Tino quickly made arrangements to take the next flight out to Miami to see his uncle. He needed to get away for a while, so his call was right on time. He needed time to relax and think. When he got back, he planned to sit Venus down and tell her the truth.