I Can't Let Go

by Chenell Parker

  Venus should have gone home, and common sense told her to do that. Instead, she drove to Tino’s house for the third time that day, but his car still wasn’t there. She decided to pass by Val’s house again and she was happy that she did. Tino’s car was still out front and Ramon was sitting on the porch. Kimora’s car was still there too and that didn’t sit too right with her.

  “What’s good Vee?” Ramon asked her.

  He smiled when he saw Venus getting out of the car and walking up to the porch. Ramon was happy that he stayed outside to smoke while everybody else went to Ced’s man-cave in the basement. Tino was inside on some family shit and he was happy to see her there.

  “Shit, that’s what I’m trying to figure out. Is your cousin here?” Venus questioned.

  “Yeah, the family man is in there,” Ramon chuckled.

  “The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Venus snapped angrily.

  “Don’t mind me love. I’m high as fuck right now and talking crazy. That nigga is in there though. You can go in,” Ramon said as he put his blunt out and opened the door.

  Venus followed him inside and looked around. The lamp was on in the living room, but it was empty.

  “Where is everybody?” Venus asked. She didn’t feel comfortable walking around Val’s house and Ramon sensed that.

  “I think that nigga is upstairs. Val is sleep, so you’re good. I’m going to the basement with the rest of them niggas,” Ramon replied as he walked away. He was laughing the entire time as Venus made her way up the stairs.

  For some reason, Venus’ heart was pounding in her chest. The thought of catching Kimora and Tino together sexually would destroy her. She was happy that Val’s room was all the way at the end of the hall because she wasn’t going to be responsible for what she did if she saw something inappropriate going on. Venus opened the door to Tino’s old bedroom, expecting to see him there. When she didn’t, she opened the door to the room next to it and that one was empty as well. She saw a sliver of light coming from the room across the hall, so she opened the door to see if he was in there. A lump formed in her throat when she saw Tino and Kimora lying down facing each other as they talked. They were almost whispering, so she couldn’t make out what they were saying. He had his hand on the small of her back as their daughter slept peacefully in between them. They didn’t even hear her open the door, but Venus made her presence known.

  “Just fuck my birthday, huh?” Venus asked, making Tino jump and turn around to face her.

  “Damn. My bad Vee,” Tino said as he stood up and walked over to her.

  “Your bad. Not only did you not show up, you didn’t even care enough to call or even answer your phone,” Venus snapped.

  “Y’all need to go somewhere else and talk. My baby is trying to sleep,” Kimora noted.

  “Girl, fuck you!” Venus snapped.

  “Bitch, don’t think I won’t slap you on your sixtieth birthday,” Kimora threatened.

  “Come on man,” Tino said as he grabbed Venus’ arm and walked out of the room.

  “Let me go! I’m getting sick of this shit Tino. Of all the days that you could have pulled some shit like this, you chose my birthday!” Venus yelled.

  “Lower your damn voice before you wake my baby up,” Tino fumed as he jogged down the steps with her following close behind him.

  “What’s the excuse this time? It’s always some shit when it comes to you doing something for me. You make time for what you want to make time for,” Venus said once they got into the front room.

  “You act like a nigga was trying to stand you up. My daughter’s dog got hit and I had to make sure she was straight,” Tino replied.

  “A dog! You stood me up on my birthday for a fucking dog!” Venus yelled angrily.

  “It’s not just about the dog. Like it or not, my daughter comes first. She loves that dog more than anything and that fucked her up.”

  “It seems like everybody comes first but me. You know it’s bad when I have to take a back seat to a fucking dead dog.”

  “Shut the fuck up Venus,” Tino snapped angrily. Winter wasn’t dead but she didn’t give a fuck either way. His daughter could have been hit by a car and she still would have been mad because he didn’t take her out on her birthday.

  “The fuck is going on in here? Y’all gotta chill out. My wife and granddaughter are sleeping,” Ced said when he walked upstairs from the basement.

  He watched as Tino and Venus walked outside before he went back downstairs to entertain his company. Ced didn’t even know that Venus was there but he wasn’t surprised. It was her birthday and Tino flaked on their plans. He understood why but Venus deserved an explanation.

  “This is some straight bullshit! A few months ago y’all didn’t even know that lil girl existed. Now everything is about her all of a sudden,” Venus fussed.

  “Bye Vee. Get in your car and drive the fuck off. Just leave before I end up slapping the fuck out of you,” Tino gritted.

  “You got the nerve to get mad at me when you fucked up. Just like a typical nigga.” Venus frowned.

  “Let me just say this and then I’m done talking. You’re right; I didn’t know about my daughter until a few months ago, but that wasn’t on me. She’s here now and my job as her father is to put her and her needs first and I always will. Don’t ever try to compete where you don’t compare. It’ll never turn out good for you. And that lil girl’s name is Santina. Put some respect on that shit,” Tino fumed as he walked back into the house and slammed the door behind him.

  Venus stood on the porch looking like a damn fool. She hoped that Tino would come back out but, after five minutes passed, she knew that it was just wishful thinking. With teary eyes, she got back into her car and sped away. As soon as she turned the corner, her phone rang and Franco’s number showed up. Venus started not to answer but she didn’t have anything else to do. Tino was laid up with his baby mama on her birthday. If he didn’t give a fuck, neither did she. Venus had a few more hours before her birthday ended and she was going to spend it with her man’s cousin fucking her to sleep.

  A nother year rolled around and brought along a few changes with it. For one, Kimora hadn’t gone back to Carmel since before Christmas and they were into the third week of the new year. Hassan had come back to New Orleans the weekend before and he was pissed that she didn’t go back home with him. Kimora had made a lot of connections in Carmel as far as her business, but she was having a hard time leaving New Orleans again. She missed her friends, family and everything else about her city. With her mother not returning, Kimora knew that the feeling of loneliness would only intensify. But that was only a small part of her dilemma.

  “I fucked up,” Kimora sighed as she sipped from her glass of wine. She was at Autumn’s house relaxing in the kitchen as her cousin prepared them some quesadillas. That kind of companionship was what Kimora missed the most. She didn’t have that back in Carmel and she wasn’t rushing to go back.

  “I’ve been fucking up for the past few months. But that’s another story for another day. What’s good with you cousin? How did you fuck up?” Autumn asked as she plated their food. She cut the quesadillas in fours and slid a plate across the counter to Kimora.

  “I fucked Tino!” Kimora blurted out, making her cousin choke on her food.

  “Bitch! When?” Autumn asked as her mouth hung open in shock.

  “Christmas night. I was pissed with Hassan and he was into it with Venus. Once everybody left from Val’s house, we put Santina to bed and went to one of the spare bedrooms and got reacquainted,” Kimora admitted.

  She felt bad as fuck when she left from Val’s house that night to join Hassan at the Airbnb. He was apologizing for his behavior earlier that day and that only made it worse. Kimora was so happy that he didn’t try to have sex with her. He was still feeling bad from before so that was perfect. It didn’t help that Tino fucked her like a porn star and had her entire body aching. Kimora went to sleep with Hassan’s arms wrapped around her and
Tino on her mind.

  “I’m not even surprised. Y’all really didn’t break up if we’re keeping it real. You just moved away,” Autumn noted.

  “I moved away and moved on,” Kimora replied.

  “Bitch please. Hassan is cool and all, but you needed to get dicked down. You’re too young for a nigga to have to take medicine just to get and keep his dick up. One time ain’t gone hurt nothing.”

  “Three times,” Kimora corrected. “We fucked our way into the new year and again the night Winter got hit.”

  “Bitch, just do what Nita is about to do. Go get your shit from Carmel and move your ass back to New Orleans,” Autumn said.

  “I wish I could but it’s not that easy. All the attorneys that I freelance for are in Carmel. My contracts are about to be up but I’m hoping to get them renewed along with a few others. That’s why I have to go back to Carmel this weekend.”

  “What’s going on this weekend?” Autumn asked.

  “Hassan’s father is hosting a benefit dinner. I made a lot of connections there last year and I need to do some more networking. I have to get my shit together cousin. I’m really fucking up big time. Tina is not stable at all. She hasn’t been to school since before Thanksgiving,” Kimora sighed as she picked at her food.

  “You and Tino need to stop playing and just work that shit out. That way my favorite cousin can move back home and Tina can be stable in the house with both parents,” Autumn said.

  “I just feel so guilty. Hassan has never given me a reason to do him wrong. Ugh! I just wish his dick worked like it’s supposed to. I wouldn’t be lusting after my baby daddy if it did,” Kimora groaned.

  “Yes you would. You and Tino just have chemistry and y’all always did,” Autumn said, right as Kimora’s phone rang.

  “As if I don’t feel bad enough,” Kimora huffed when Hassan’s picture popped up on her screen.

  “Don’t do that to lil mushy dick. He’s trying,” Autumn said as she fell out laughing. Kimora pointed her middle finger at her before she answered the phone.

  “Hey boo,” she said right before she downed the last of her wine.

  “What’s up baby?” Hassan asked her. Kimora mouthed to Autumn to lock up as she grabbed her purse and made her way to the door. She was going by Tino to see her baby before she went to Prince’s house for the night.

  “Nothing much. What’s up with you?” Kimora asked.

  “Feeling like shit. I just left the office for the day. I’m going home and lay down,” Hassan replied.

  “Aww, I hope you feel better boo,” Kimora said.

  “I’ll be okay. I hope you’re prepared for this weekend. This is a very important night for my family Kimora. I’m really counting on you to be by my side baby,” Hassan asserted.

  “It’s only Monday Hassan. I’ll be there no later than Friday. I already found the perfect dress and shoes,” Kimora assured him. She hadn’t even booked her flight yet but that was nothing to do. Nobody was breaking their necks to fly out to Carmel. She could do that the day before and still wouldn’t have any problems.

  “I hope you’re planning to stay for a little while. I miss you baby.”

  “I miss you too. And yeah, I’ll be home for a while,” Kimora said.

  “That’s good to hear. I’ll call you later before I turn in for the night. I love you.”

  “Love you too,” Kimora replied before she hung up.

  When she pulled up to Tino’s house, she sat in her car for a while deep in thought. Things seemed to be getting more complicated by the day and she didn’t know what to do. Hassan didn’t deserve to get cheated on, but she couldn’t help how she felt about Tino. When Kimora’s phone rang, she answered when she saw Tino’s name pop up.

  “You trying to sit in the car all night or are you coming in?” he asked her.

  Since he was so heavily into security systems, Tino had cameras all around his house. He saw when a person pulled up and he had cameras at every entrance. Since being shot, he wasn’t taking any more chances. Since he had Santina there with him now, that only heightened his paranoia. His business was picking up and he even had some of his company’s merchandise on Amazon. He had a solid team of technicians who sold and installed the systems.

  “I’m coming now,” Kimora said before she hung up. As soon as she walked up the stairs, Tino opened the door. He greeted her with a kiss on the lips and pulled her inside.

  “Hey mommy,” Santina said from her place on the sofa. She was eating out of a huge bucket of ice cream and making a mess on Tino’s white leather sofa.

  “Come on Tino, damn. Couldn’t you just put her some ice cream in a bowl or something?” Kimora asked as she took the bucket from their daughter.

  “I’m not done,” Santina whined.

  “Yes you are. Go wash your hands and face,” Kimora ordered.

  “Daddy!” Santina yelled as she looked over at Tino.

  “He can’t help you. Now, go do what I said before I whip your ass,” Kimora threatened as her daughter hurried away.

  “Don’t put your hands on my baby Kimora,” Tino said once they were alone.

  “Nigga please.” Kimora frowned as she walked away to help her daughter get cleaned up. Santina was making a mess in the bathroom, so Kimora grabbed a towel to help her.

  “Aye, I gotta head out to Miami one day this week; I’m trying to go tomorrow if I can find a flight. You trying to roll with me?” he asked Kimora while standing by the bathroom door.

  “No, I’m going back to Carmel. I have an event to attend this weekend,” Kimora replied.

  “I don’t want to go back there,” Santina cried.

  “Be quiet Santina. I’m tired of you telling me what you don’t want. You whine too much,” Kimora fussed.

  “Let her stay here with my mama when you leave,” Tino suggested.

  “Can I go with you daddy?” Santina asked him.

  “No,” Kimora answered.

  “Why not? I can get my mama to fly out with me. My grandmother would be happy to see them,” Tino noted.

  “You have to learn how to tell her no sometimes Santino,” Kimora argued.

  “That’s never gonna happen. You can go back to Mayberry but I’m taking her with me,” Tino said.

  “How long are y’all gonna be gone?” Kimora asked.

  “I really don’t know. I’ll come straight there when I come back though,” he answered.

  “Okay. Maybe I’ll fly back a few days early since my baby won’t be here,” Kimora said.

  “Don’t use my baby as an excuse. You just want to rush back to that lame ass nigga.” Tino frowned.

  “You can miss me with all that. I don’t say nothing when your grandma Venus be over here all the time,” Kimora replied as she rolled her eyes.

  Once she finished with Santina, they all sat in the front room and watched tv. Kimora had her legs draped across his as Santina sat in between them. To Tino, they looked like a happy family and that’s the way he wanted it to be all the time.

  “Stay here tonight. I want to sleep next to you,” Tino said as his hand glided up and down her leg.

  “Maybe if you were by Val but not here,” Kimora replied.

  When he heard keys being inserted into his locked door, he got pissed because he already knew who it was. She was the reason why Kimora had just said what she said. Tino wanted to be petty and get his locks changed but that would have been a bitch move. Kimora didn’t bother moving and he didn’t want her to. When Venus walked into the house, she paused and took in the scene that was before her.

  “Am I interrupting something?” Venus frowned as she looked at Tino.

  “Nope, I was just leaving,” Kimora replied as she stood up.

  “Bye mommy,” Santina said as she jumped up and hugged her.

  “Bye baby. Be good for daddy and no more sweets,” Kimora replied as she directed her comment to Tino.

  “I hear you,” he laughed while shaking his head.

  Venus wanted t
o snap when he picked his daughter up and walked Kimora outside. She knew that Tino would never play that in front of his daughter, so she didn’t even bother. Venus hadn’t seen him all day, so she decided to swing by his house to chill for a while. Since Santina entered the picture, she and Tino didn’t do overnight visits anymore. He claimed that he was still in the process of getting to know her. He didn’t feel comfortable with his daughter being in the bed with anyone else. That was fine with her because she probably would have kicked the lil spoiled bitch if she did sleep in the bed with her. When Venus pulled up and saw Kimora’s rental parked out front, she was heated and couldn’t get inside fast enough.