I Can't Let Go

by Chenell Parker

  She heard everything that Zoe said but she wasn’t trying to take advice from her. She was trying to tell Venus to leave her man while she was living the American dream with hers. Venus peeped out the Rolex on her wrist that was dripping with diamonds. She had never seen it before, so she was sure that it was yet another gift from Miguel. She was living like a queen and was trying to discourage Venus from doing the same. Venus wanted her wrist to drip ice too and she wasn’t about to give up on her man before he could make it happen.

  “W hat the fuck is LOL Surprise?” Tino asked once he got off the phone with Santina.

  “Huh?” Dirty asked in confusion.

  “Man, I hate them lil ugly ass things. My daughter got a bunch of that shit,” Tino’s barber said as he lined him up.

  “Oh, well, if it’s some kiddie shit, I definitely don’t know nothing about it,” Dirty laughed.

  “Shit, me either.” Tino shrugged.

  “Why did you ask?” Dirty questioned.

  “My baby is turning four in April and I want to give her a party. I asked her what kind of party she wanted, and she said LOL Surprise. I gotta get with Kimora on that,” Tino said.

  “Yeah nigga, you been getting with Kimora a lot lately,” Dirty laughed.

  “We already knew that though,” the barber, who was also Dirty’s cousin on his mother’s side, said.

  “That nigga is confused,” Dirty replied.

  “Nigga, you of all people know that there ain’t no confusion on my part. Shit is just complicated,” Tino sighed.

  “How so?” their barber asked.

  “Yeah, I need to hear the answer to this too,” Dirty said as he gave his cousin his undivided attention.

  “It just is. Leaving Vee alone ain’t nothing to me but Kimora got a nigga too. She never left that clown alone and I’m not even sure that she wants to. I’m not cut out to be the side nigga and she know not to even try to play me like that,” Tino replied.

  “Man, Vee be playing dumb but she already know what it is. You barely see her now that Kimora is back. If today wasn’t her birthday, y’all probably wouldn’t even be going nowhere,” Dirty pointed out.

  They were eight days into the new year, and it was Venus’ birthday. She and Tino barely saw each other since they had it out on Christmas. She had called Tino the night before and told him that she wanted to have dinner at her favorite restaurant. Since Kimora and Tina were chillin’ with Val, he decided to make it happen. He had another two hours before he was scheduled to pick Venus up, but he had to stop and get Tina some ice cream first.

  “I’m not trying to shit on Vee since Kimora came back but it’s kind of hard not to. You know that’s my fucking heart. Still, I can’t just forget how Venus looked out when I needed somebody the most. Nigga, you know that I couldn’t even go to the bathroom on my own,” Tino noted.

  “I get it and I understand why you feel the way you do. But, real talk, Venus did what she did because she wanted to. She wanted you back and that was her way of doing it. You copped her a nice ass car and helped her get her shop back. If you ask me, she’s been paid in full. You don’t have to be with her to show her that you appreciate what she did,” Dirty pointed out.

  “Real shit,” Tino nodded, agreeing with everything that his cousin had just said.

  “In the end, somebody’s gonna be hurt and we both know that it won’t be Kimora,” Dirty noted.

  “Nah, I love her too much to ever do that,” Tino replied honestly.

  “Your wife is about to be out soon, huh Dirty?” his cousin asked.

  “Hell yeah and May can’t get here fast enough. I got enough money stacked for us to be good for a while. That and some good legal income. Them niggas can have the dope game. I’m ready to enjoy my wife and make some babies,” Dirty said.

  He knew that his cousins were gonna be pissed because Tino already had one of his other cousins on his mama’s side ready to pick up wherever Dirty left off. Ramon was probably the only one who was gonna be salty about it. The rest of them were cool as long as they got money.

  “That’s what’s up. I saw Karen the other day. She asked about you and Bryson,” his cousin said, referring to Dirty’s mother.

  “Karen is full of shit. She’s always asking about us, but she got our numbers. It’s as easy as picking up the phone,” Dirty noted.

  “She’s still running behind Lucky ole no good ass,” his cousin said as he started cutting his hair.

  “That’s the story of my life cuz. I’m happy that I was there to take care of Bryson once my pops got locked up. She was too weak behind a nigga to even make sure that my lil bro was straight. She’s weak as fuck behind every nigga she gets with. I can’t even respect her for that.”

  Once Dirty got his hair cut, he and Tino got into their cars and went their separate ways. Tino stopped to get his baby some ice cream before going to Val’s house. He planned to drop the ice cream off and go home to get dressed to go out with Venus for a while.

  “Hey daddy!” Santina yelled when he got out of the car. She was in the front yard throwing the ball to Winter while Kimora and Val sat on the porch.

  “Hey beautiful. I got your ice cream.” Tino smiled as he bent down and kissed her.

  “Can we go to the zoo again daddy?” Tina asked him.

  “Not today baby. We need to get you in daycare or something. You got too much time on your hands,” Tino replied as he walked into the house to put her ice cream in the freezer.

  He knew that Kimora had her in school back in Carmel, but he didn’t know what was going to happen with that. He knew that they couldn’t keep living in between two states but that’s the way things were for now. Santina hated when she had to go back, and he could tell that it was starting to get to Kimora too. Tino talked to his father for a while before he headed back outside. As soon as he did, Tina threw the ball too far into the street and Winter ran after it.

  “Tina!” Kimora yelled when she saw her daughter running in the street while a car was coming. She jumped up to go after her but Tino had her beat. He missed all the steps as he jumped off the porch and ran after his baby.

  “Winter! No!” Tina cried when her father picked her up.

  The car tried to swerve but not before it hit the dog. Winter howled as the car came to an abrupt stop.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t see her or the dog,” a frantic older woman said when she got out and rushed over to them.

  “She’s okay,” Tino assured her as he hugged Tina tight. His heart was racing in his chest at the thought of his daughter almost getting hurt. She wasn’t in any physical pain, but she was screaming and crying over her dog.

  “Winter is bleeding,” Tina cried, breaking her father’s heart.

  Ced raced outside with a towel and picked the dog up. Tino felt like a member of the family had been injured as they hopped into his father’s truck and rushed the dog to the vet. Tina was inconsolable and they did their best to comfort her. When they got to the vet, Ced rushed inside with Winter as they all followed him in. Tino had never seen anything like that before in his life. The staff treated Winter just like a real person as they put her on a stretcher and rushed her to the back.

  “Don’t cry my love. Winter will be okay,” Val said with teary eyes as she kissed Santina’s cheek.

  Tino had never been an animal lover but he couldn’t say the same for his daughter. Tina loved Winter more than anything. She always said the dog was her best friend and Tino believed her. He never imagined that when he got the dog for Kimora that he was actually buying a lifelong companion for their first child.

  It took over an hour before someone came out to give them some news. Winter had a broken leg and they had to put a cast on it. Once they did that and cleaned her up, they gave Winter some pain meds and they were on their way soon after. The bill was high as hell but Tino was happy just to see his baby smiling again.

  “No more playing ball for you, Winter. Your leg is broken,” Santina said as she held her dog
and rubbed her back.

  “No more ball playing for you either. You could have been hit by that car too. You know better than to run in the street like that,” Kimora admonished.

  “Almost gave me a damn heart attack,” Tino sighed.

  When Ced pulled up to their house, one of his brothers pulled up right behind him with Corey, Ronald and Ramon in the car. Tino and Ced stood outside to talk while Kimora, Val and Tina went inside.

  “I thought you were going out with Vee tonight,” Corey said as he looked at Tino.

  “Shit, I was supposed to,” Tino replied, forgetting all about the plans that he made with Venus. He felt around in his pockets, but he didn’t even have his phone on him.

  “That nigga ain’t worried about Vee. He’s too busy sticking dick to his baby mama,” Ramon smirked.

  “The fuck you always worrying about my dick for? You act like you sucking on the muthafucker,” Tino snapped angrily.

  “Nah, I’ll leave that for Kimora.” Ramon shrugged.

  “The same rules apply from before nigga. Keep Kimora’s name out your mouth,” Tino gritted.

  “Damn cuz, I’m confused. I thought Venus was your bitch,” Ramon said.

  “You act like you want to be my bitch. Get off my nuts nigga. They heavy enough without you hanging on them bitches,” Tino said, making their uncles laugh.

  “Y’all chill out,” Ced ordered when he saw the direction the conversation was headed. Ramon was starting to feel played and things were going to go left once he did. Ced knew that Tino said shit to get under people’s skin and that wasn’t hard to do with Ramon.

  “Let me go check on my baby before I go. That’s cool with you, Ramon, or do I need to run that by you first? I’m just checking since you’re always so concerned about me and clocking my moves and shit,” Tino smirked.

  “Fuck outta here acting like you so important,” Ramon sneered.

  “Shit, if I wasn’t, you sure make a nigga feel like he is,” Tino laughed as he walked inside and closed the door behind him.

  He went upstairs to Tina’s room. Kimora had just given her a bath and put her pajamas on her. Winter was laid out on her doggie pillow relaxing.

  “Are you staying here tonight daddy?” Tina asked him.

  Kimora grabbed something to sleep in and went to the bathroom to take her shower. She stayed in between Val and Prince’s houses, but she wanted to stay the night with her baby since Tino had plans.

  “Not tonight baby. I have something to do but I’ll be back in the morning,” Tino promised.

  He never did locate his phone, so he was sure that it was in his car. His plan was just to drop off Tina’s ice cream and go straight home until Winter got hurt. He was sure that Venus would be pissed but his daughter needed him. Santina would always and forever come first, no matter the situation. It wasn’t too late for them to do something if she still wanted to.

  “Can I come with you?” Tina asked.

  “No baby. Kids can’t go where I’m going.”

  “Why? I want to come with you,” Tina whined. It got on Kimora’s nerves when she did that but Tino thought it was cute. His baby was spoiled, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

  “Tomorrow baby. We’ll do whatever you want to do. Besides, Winter is sick. You can’t leave her right now,” Tino tried to reason.

  “Okay,” Santina relented.

  She looked so pitiful and Tino felt bad for not giving her what she wanted. He hated to tell his baby no for any reason. Venus was sure to have a fit, but he decided to stay with his daughter until she fell asleep. Tino kicked off his shoes and waited until she found something on tv to watch. When she saw that he wasn’t leaving, Santina snuggled up under him while he rubbed her back.

  “I thought you were leaving,” Kimora said when she walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later.

  “I am when she goes to sleep,” Tino said as he watched her moving around the room. Val had unpacked her and Santina’s things, so the drawers and closets were full of their clothes and personal items. When Kimora got into the bed, Tino pulled her closer to him and their daughter.

  “Don’t start Santino,” Kimora warned.

  “I never stopped. You do realize that we never officially broke up. If we’re being honest, you’re still my fiancée since you never called off the engagement.” Tino smiled.

  “Please don’t make this more complicated than it already is,” Kimora begged.

  “This shit just feels so right,” Tino replied.

  He looked deep into her eyes and Kimora looked right back at him. They both had so much to say but their unspoken words were even deeper. Some things didn’t need to be explained because they were already understood.

  “You look beautiful friend. Don’t trip, he’ll be there.” Zoe smiled as she talked on the phone with Venus via Facetime.

  “Fuck him! He could have least had the decency to tell me that he wasn’t coming. That’s probably why he gave me my gift early this morning,” Venus fumed.

  She had been calling Tino for almost two hours and he never answered or called back. She went to his house, but his truck wasn’t there. Venus did see that he had some clothes laid out but that mattered none to her since he never showed up. Her blood started boiling when she went to Val’s house and saw his and Kimora’s cars parked in the driveway. When she knocked and rang the doorbell, no one ever answered for her, so she went back home.

  “It’s your birthday boo. You look too good to just be sitting at home. Miguel is in for the night and he can stay with the kids. We can meet for drinks if you want to,” Zoe offered.

  “Let’s go sit at the bar at the Hibachi grill,” Venus said.

  “I’ll be there. Let me just tell my hubby that I’m stepping out for a while,” Zoe replied before she hung up.

  Venus looked at her reflection in the mirror again and realized that Zoe was right. She looked too damn good to be sitting inside on her birthday. Tino had her fucked up and she couldn’t wait to see his ass. She tried calling him again and got frustrated when she got the same results.

  “Fuck him,” Venus hissed as she grabbed her purse and walked out of her house.

  Traffic was light and it only took her about ten minutes to get to her location. She was sure that Zoe wasn’t there yet, but she shot her a text telling her that she would be inside. There was a wait to be seated at a table, but Venus was happy to see that the bar was just about empty. They had two couples sitting there but that was it. Venus took a seat and put her purse in the seat next to her for Zoe.

  “What’s up Vee? I didn’t expect to see you here all by yourself on your birthday,” Amari walked up behind her and said.

  “Hey Amari. How did you know it was my birthday?” Venus asked as she turned around on her bar stool to face her.

  Admittedly, Amari was a bad bitch with her perfectly purchased body and flawless dark chocolate skin. She dressed like she’d just stepped off the pages of a high-end magazine and there was never a hair out of place. Franco treated her like she was made of glass and would break at any time. He seemed to really love her but obviously not enough to remain faithful. Her wrist was dripping enough ice to fill a glass and so was her neck. Her watch was probably the same price as Venus’ car, but it seemed like it was nothing to her. Maybe Franco was right. Amari probably didn’t care that he was cheating since he took such good care of her.

  “I saw the post that Zoe made on Facebook,” Amari said.

  “I’m waiting for her now. I need a few drinks in my system,” Venus noted.

  “I know that’s right girl. Me and my cousins came to do the same thing,” she replied as she nodded at the two women who were standing there waiting on her.

  “Where are the kids?” Venus asked.

  “They’re with my sister. Franco had business to handle and mama needed a break.” Amari smiled.

  “I hear that,” Venus replied with a forced smile.

  “Enjoy your day. And listen, don’t let what they say
get to you. Kimora being back doesn’t mean the end for you and Tino. You better fight for your man. I used to go to war with bitches over Franco, but I haven’t had that problem in a while. Either he’s gotten better at doing his dirt or he’s finally keeping his dick in his pants,” Amari laughed.

  “I’m not worried about nothing. Tino and I are good,” Venus assured her.

  “That’s good to hear. Oh, and happy birthday.” Amari smiled before she left.

  Unbeknownst to her, Amari had just revealed something that Venus had been suspecting. She had a feeling that Tino’s family were talking behind her back and Amari had just confirmed it. As she was walking out, Zoe was walking in and they stopped to embrace. As she watched the two women standing there with handbags that cost more than six months of her rent, Venus was ready to go home. Zoe and Amari lived the life that she desperately wanted to live but it seemed like it would never happen. Before her friend even got a chance to sit down, Venus was making up an excuse to leave. She felt like crying and she didn’t feel like explaining the tears. Zoe didn’t question her friend because she understood. She gave Venus a hug and watched her drive away.