I Can't Let Go

by Chenell Parker

  “Don’t feel like that baby. Just do me a favor and trust me,” Tino begged.

  “Trust you to do what? You claim to want us back together so bad, but you haven’t even ended the relationship that you’re in. I’m already over this shit,” Kimora said.

  “Come on Kimora. It’s not even like that,” Tino replied, right as they heard keys being inserted into the front door.

  When Venus walked in, she stopped and looked in between Tino and Kimora. She heard them arguing when she was on the porch, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. Tino was supposed to be at her house over an hour ago but he never showed up. He didn’t answer his phone either and that’s what prompted Venus to pop up at his house. Kimora’s car wasn’t in the driveway, so she was surprised but annoyed to see her there. Especially since it didn’t look like their daughter was with her.

  “Just the point I was trying to make.” Kimora frowned as she walked into the room and slammed the door.

  “Fuck!” Tino gritted as he pounded his hand on his wooden coffee table.

  “What’s really going on?” Venus asked, right as Kimora came storming out of the room with her purse. She didn’t have a car, so she was ordering an Uber on her phone to take her to Val’s house. When Tino saw that she was about to leave, he jumped up from the sofa and blocked her path.

  “Don’t leave, please,” he begged as he looked into her eyes.

  “The fuck is you begging her to stay here for? You and this hoe really got me fucked up!” Venus bellowed.

  “Bitch, today is not the day and I am not the one,” Kimora warned.

  “Just sit down and relax. Let me holla at you outside right quick Vee,” Tino requested.

  It felt like deja vu to Venus and she already knew what he wanted to talk about. He was about to shit on her again for the same bitch that he shitted on her for in the past. It felt like her heart stopped beating for a minute and then it started working overtime when it resumed. It was thumping in her chest and her anger was at an all-time high. The root of all her relationship problems was standing there looking like she was ready for her to go. Without thinking twice, Venus dropped her purse and charged at Kimora, swinging wildly. She caught the other woman off guard, so she got a good first lick. She was crushed when Tino grabbed her by her neck and pushed her back. That was all it took for Kimora to get right and deliver a staggering blow to her face. Tino was happy that his daughter wasn’t there because Venus and Kimora locked up like two pit bulls. They both had hands and they were holding their own against each other. Tino made a move to stop them but Kimora was like a wild animal as she got the best of Venus and slammed her on top of his wooden coffee table. She was the smaller of the two, so Tino was shocked by the move. He could tell that Venus was in pain because she winced and didn’t get up as soon as he thought she would. Kimora was already upset, and Venus caught her at a bad time.

  “Baby stop, chill out,” Tino said as he grabbed Kimora around her waist. She was going after Venus again and he had to stop her.

  “And you wonder why I don’t like to be over here. I’m gone.” Kimora fumed.

  “No, just wait for me in the room, please. We need to talk,” Tino whispered in her ear as he pushed her towards the stairs. Once Kimora was gone, he tried to help Venus up, but she did it on her own.

  “Get the fuck away from me Tino,” she gritted while swatting his hand away. She didn’t miss hearing him call Kimora baby and that only angered her more.

  “I’m just trying to make sure you’re straight,” Tino replied.

  “Do I look straight to you? You just tried to choke me out behind your baby mama. Where was she when you needed her the most? That bitch didn’t even stick around long enough to see if you were dead or alive. I’m the one who had to feed and bathe you when you couldn’t even lift your arm. I’m the bitch who changed your shit bag for months when you couldn’t go to the bathroom. It was me who took you to doctor’s appointments and therapy when you couldn’t drive. And even after all that, you see this bitch one time and now it’s fuck Venus,” she ranted as tears poured from her eyes.

  “I appreciate everything that you did for me Vee, I swear I do. I know that money could never repay all that you did but that was the only way that I knew how to show my thanks.”

  “I didn’t want your money!” Venus screamed, telling only half the truth. She did want his money, but she wanted him to come along with it. Zoe had the man and the money and that was Venus’ goal too. Unfortunately, that was one that she could never accomplish.

  “You wanted my heart but that was the one thing that I could never give you,” Tino said.

  “I just want to know why,” Venus sniffled.

  “Because it already belonged to someone else,” Tino replied honestly.

  “What does this bitch have over you like that? You act like you just can’t let go,” Venus said as tears filled her eyes once again.

  “I tried but I can’t,” Tino said, drilling the final nail in the coffin.

  There was no need for Venus to say anything else. Even if Tino didn’t tell her how he felt, his actions proved it. He’d made his choice and, once again, he didn’t choose her. With a broken, heavy heart, Venus walked out of his house and out of his life.

  “Damn,” Tino sighed as he ran his hand through the waves in his head. He wasn’t a cold hearted nigga, but he was sure that Venus would disagree. It was never his intentions to hurt anyone, especially not Venus again. He was mad with himself for not telling her no when she asked him to get back together. He felt somewhat obligated and that was the only reason why he didn’t. Once she was gone, Tino walked up the stairs to go talk to Kimora. He laughed when he saw her running back to his bedroom.

  “Is your company gone?” Kimora asked when he laid down in the bed next to her.

  “You know she is with your nosey ass. I saw you running back in here,” Tino laughed.

  “She had one more time to call me a bitch and I was coming back down there,” Kimora replied.

  “I feel fucked up about how everything happened, but I can’t help how I feel. I’ve loved you since you were sixteen years old and it’s only gotten stronger over time. I waited for two whole years to make you mine and you were worth the wait. I felt like I wasn’t living when you left and that shit almost broke me. When you came back with my baby, I knew right then that we were meant to be. I feel like my heart is finally beating again,” Tino said.

  “Us getting back together is gonna have a lot of people in their feelings. We’re gonna have more enemies than friends,” Kimora laughed.

  “No matter what the people say, I’m gonna love you anyway, you are my life. I can’t let go,” Tino sang as Kimora closed her eyes and listened.

  “I’m not sleeping here tonight. I don’t trust that bitch,” Kimora said after they were silent for a while.

  “Fuck this house. We need to buy something,” Tino replied.

  “Who is we? I’m unemployed,” Kimora reminded him.

  “Come on, let’s go take a ride,” Tino said as he got up and pulled her up with him.

  “Take a ride where?” Kimora asked.

  “You’ll see when we get there,” he answered as he walked out of the room.

  He and Kimora made small talk while he drove them to a destination that was unknown to her. Tino laughed at the confused look on her face when they pulled up. She didn’t say anything, but he could tell that she had questions. They got out of the car and he held her hand as they entered the building. Kimora was silent when they got on the elevator and went up to the third floor. When they got off, there was an empty built-in desk that looked like a receptionist or secretary should have been seated there. There were also two bathrooms with the male/female signs on the door. When Tino opened an office door, Kimora stooped, refusing to follow him inside.

  “Tino wait. Whose office is that?” Kimora asked.

  “It’s yours now. You can’t be unemployed when you’re the boss.” Tino smiled as h
e held up a set of keys for her to see.

  “What? How?” Kimora asked as she looked around the huge empty space.

  “What you mean how? I leased the entire third floor for an entire year. After that, you can get a building of your own or stay here if you want to. You don’t have to go to the clients anymore, they can come to you.”

  “Oh, my God, baby! I can’t believe you did this. That was so sweet of you!” Kimora yelled excitedly.

  She wrapped her arms around Tino’s neck and planted a big kiss on his lips. Seeing her reaction was all the thanks he needed. He was happy just as long as she was.

  “You can decorate however you want to. Aside from that, you’ll have to hire a receptionist and get a sign made to put up on the board out front. I already got you some business cards made up with your logo on it,” Tino said as he handed her the small box of business cards that sat on windowsill. Kimora opened the box and pulled one of the cards out.

  “Kimora Dixon Paralegal and Notary Services,” she said, reading one of the cards aloud. Kimora was about to inquire about why he added his last name to the business card until she turned around to face him. Tino was down on one knee holding a beautiful engagement ring. From what she could see, it was much bigger and better than the first one.

  “No long speeches. I just need you to say yes.” Tino smiled.

  “Yes!” Kimora yelled as she rushed him and fell to the floor on top of him. They engaged in a long passionate kiss before coming up for air.

  “You must be trying to make some memories in your new office,” Tino inquired as he pointed to the bulge in his pants.

  “I’m always down.” Kimora shrugged as she lifted her sundress over her head.

  They didn’t have any furniture in the office, but they knew how to improvise. Tino laid on the floor on his back while Kimora straddled him. When he entered her, it felt like everything that was wrong in his life became right. He was happy and he hadn’t felt like that in a long time. Now, all he wanted to do was get his family a house and get married to the love of his life. Tino’s top priority was keeping his family safe, so he knew that he had to move smarter. It wasn’t just Kimora that he had to protect. He had a daughter now and he was hoping to have a few more once they were married.

  “R elax Kimora. Crying is not gonna solve anything. Just be honest and talk to Tino,” Miko said as she tried to comfort her sister over the phone.

  “And tell him what Miko? That I’m pregnant and I don’t know if he’s the father or not?” Kimora questioned as she started crying harder.

  “Come on sis. Please don’t do this to me. I’m not there to comfort you like I want to, and this shit is tearing me up,” Miko said, sounding like she wanted to cry too.

  She knew that something was wrong the minute her sister answered the phone. Kimora had arrived in Carmel the night before and went to her doctor’s appointment the following morning. All she wanted was a physician’s release so that she could find another doctor in New Orleans. When he told her that she needed a physical before he could release her, she readily agreed. She never expected to be told that she was pregnant. And what was worse was the due date that he gave her. According to his calculations, she was due mid-September, which meant that she got pregnant somewhere around Christmas time. Sadly, she had been intimate with both Tino and Hassan around that time and she had no idea who had fathered her child. As much as Kimora hated Hassan, she just couldn’t bring herself to even think about getting rid of it.

  “I’m sorry sis. You’re right. I’ll tell Tino what’s up and we’ll just go from there,” Kimora replied.

  She was almost sure that Tino didn’t want to raise another man’s child but that was all on him. Kimora wasn’t getting rid of her innocent child just to be with a man. It didn’t matter how much she loved him.

  “Did you get everything packed up?” Miko asked her.

  “Yeah, it’s all on the truck and ready to go. The only thing left is my bedroom set that I’m still sleeping in. Your husband is the best.”

  “Yes he is. That’s my heart. I can’t wait to give him a few babies,” Miko replied, right as the one minute warning came on.

  “I love you sister. May can’t get here fast enough. I miss you so much,” Kimora said.

  “I love you too sister. I can’t wait to get out of here. I miss you and my niece too,” Miko replied, right before the phone hung up.

  Kimora fell back in the bed and stared at the ceiling for a while. She was deep in thought until she heard Tino come into the house. Since Val and Santina didn’t come down with them, he stayed with Kimora and Dirty rented a hotel room. Nita rented her a room too because she refused to be under the same roof with her soon to be ex-husband. She had a few more things at the house and Dirty and Tino went with her to load it onto the truck where Kimora’s things were.

  “What’s up baby?” Tino asked when he walked into the room.

  “Nothing,” Kimora sighed.

  He got worried when he saw her semi-red puffy eyes. She looked sad but he didn’t know why. She seemed fine before he left. They had been making wedding plans and had even hired a realtor to help them buy a house. Tino didn’t know what had changed so fast.

  “What happened?” he questioned as he sat down on the bed next to her.

  “Nothing but I had to get a physical today before my doctor could release me,” Kimora answered, making his heart drop.

  “What did he say? Is something wrong?” Tino inquired.

  “I’m pregnant,” Kimora said as a fresh stream of tears fell from her eyes.

  “How far along?” he asked.

  “I’m due mid-September. That means that I got pregnant somewhere around Christmas. And no, I’m not sure who the father is,” Kimora replied, answering the question that she knew he was going to ask.

  That wasn’t really bad news but Tino didn’t know how to feel. There was a possibility that he was the father, but he didn’t know for sure. That alone was going to kill him more than anything. He wanted more kids with Kimora, but he wanted to be sure that they were his. Still, he loved Kimora too much to lose her. He knew what he was getting into the minute he did it and he couldn’t be mad about the situation that they were in. It’s not like she cheated on him. They were both in relationships when they started back messing around.

  “Don’t get rid of it,” Tino said as he pulled her close and kissed her.

  “I didn’t plan on it,” Kimora replied honestly.

  Tino laid down and rubbed his nose against hers. They were both deep in thought for a while as silence consumed them. There was really nothing to think about on his end. Kimora didn’t even have to tell that other nigga that she was pregnant as far as he was concerned. He would gladly raise the child as his own and love it just as much as he loved Santina. The baby was a part of Kimora and he would love it for that reason alone.

  “Are you hungry?” Tino asked after a while.

  “Yeah but you know the food here is trash,” Kimora replied.

  “The pizza spot was okay. Let’s go there,” Tino said as he got up from the bed.

  Kimora’s house was just about empty, but she still locked up before they got into her car and left. When they pulled up to the pizza spot, she was happy to see that there was a lot of parking out front. It was a weekday and she knew that was why. As soon as they walked in, Kimora paused when she saw Harmony sitting at one of the tables talking to Ben’s wife, Shakira. They both looked scared as hell when they saw her but Kimora didn’t bother saying anything to them. It all made sense to her now though. Shakira must have been cool with Harmony and that’s probably why she hated Kimora so much.

  “That’s Harmony with the white shirt on,” Kimora whispered to Tino as they walked up to the counter to place their order.

  He knew all about why she broke up with Hassan, so he looked back to see who the other woman was. Hassan had to be a damn fool to cheat on Kimora with her. Harmony was okay but she had nothing on his future wife. Not many w
omen did.

  “The fuck are they looking over here for?” Tino snapped with a frown.

  “The other one is married to Hassan’s cousin, Ben,” Kimora replied.

  She and Tino ordered their food and took the number that the cashier gave them. They found a table near the window and sat down. After a few minutes, Tino got up to get them something to drink. Shakira got up at the same time and made her way over to Kimora’s table. Instead of saying anything, she dropped a piece of paper on her table before she hurriedly walked away.

  “What is that?” Tino asked when he walked back over. He kept his eyes on the other two women and he saw the entire exchange. Kimora didn’t answer but she opened up the piece of paper that Shakira left and read what it said.