I Can't Let Go

by Chenell Parker

  “She wants me to meet her at the park in an hour,” Kimora said as she showed him the handwritten note.

  “That bitch must be crazy.” Tino frowned.

  “Why do you say that?” Kimora asked.

  “I don’t trust none of these country muthafuckers out here. You just said that she’s married to ole boy’s cousin. That shit might be a set up,” Tino noted.

  “I don’t know. I can’t lie and say that I’m not curious though. She made a statement about Hassan once before that rubbed me the wrong way. I think she knows something that I might need to know. I think I should go.”

  “Not by yourself. I’m mad that I don’t have my gun with me,” Tino said.

  “You don’t need it,” Kimora replied.

  A few minutes later, their food came and they talked while eating. They chilled in the pizza spot for a while before they headed to the park to go meet Shakira. Tino was still against it but Kimora was curious. When they pulled up, she spotted Shakira sitting under one of the shelters with another woman. Tino grabbed Kimora’s hand and led her over to where the two women sat. Upon closer inspection, Kimora noticed that the other woman was Hassan’s old secretary, Sydnee. She was really curious now and she was ready to see what was up.

  “Hey,” Shakira said as soon as Kimora and Tino got close to them. She looked at Tino uncomfortably because she didn’t know him.

  “This is Santina’s father and my fiancé, Santino,” Kimora said when she saw the suspicious way Shakira was eyeing him.

  “Hi.” Shakira waved with an awkward smile.

  “Hey,” Sydnee said, speaking for the first time.

  “I know that this seems kind of weird, but I can explain,” Shakira noted.

  “I’m listening,” Kimora replied as she and Tino took a seat.

  “First, I just want to let you know that I never did have a problem with you. I really wanted a chance to talk to you but there never seemed to be a good time,” Shakira said.

  “What did you want to talk to me about?” Kimora asked.

  “Hassan. He’s not who you think he is,” Shakira replied.

  “No, he’s not. And I didn’t just up and quit my job, nor was I ever hooked on any kind of drugs. He fired me because I wouldn’t fuck him. He also didn’t want me hanging with you and it pissed him off when I refused to stop. Now, thanks to him and his father’s connections, I can’t find a job anywhere. I had to move in with my sister and her husband. I’ve been reduced to babysitting just to keep a few bills paid,” Sydnee said while shaking her head.

  “He didn’t want you hanging with her because he was scared that all his secrets would come out,” Shakira replied.

  “What secrets?” Kimora asked.

  “I know he told you about his dead wife but I’m sure he didn’t tell you that he was the one who was behind her disappearance,” Shakira answered.

  “What disappearance? I thought she died of breast cancer,” Kimora said. She didn’t miss the look that was exchanged between the two women and she was curious as to why.

  “He’s such a liar.” Sydnee frowned.

  “What am I missing here?” Kimora questioned.

  “Kimberly didn’t die of breast cancer. She just up and disappeared without a trace. The police suspected foul play after investigating her disappearance and Hassan was arrested. He changed his story too many times and they kept catching him in a lie. Since there was no body, he was released and not charged. After a while, Hudson pulled a few strings and made the entire situation disappear altogether. They’re still calling it a missing person case, but I think it should be a murder investigation instead,” Shakira said.

  “How do you know all of this?” Kimora asked.

  “Because my husband was the one who helped him do his dirty work,” Shakira answered.

  It was no secret that Ben was Hassan’s flunky. He did whatever his cousin and uncle told him to do. Hudson didn’t just win elections by votes alone. He always held some kind of leverage over his opponents and it usually worked in his favor. Ben thought she was dumb, but she knew more than she led on. She knew that he was doing a lot of illegal shit for his family and she was sick of it. Shakira grew up in Detroit and she was making plans to go back home to her family. She didn’t want to be caught up in her husband’s bullshit and she had a feeling that things were about to get real. That was the reason why she’d met up with Harmony earlier. Shakira followed Ben to her house on more than one occasion and she wanted her to be careful. Harmony was doing the unthinkable and going up against the Forbes family. She had already contacted the elections committee about Hudson apparently taking bribes. Hassan had gotten several members of her family fired from their jobs and she was fighting back.

  “What reason would he have to kill her?” Kimora asked after a while.

  “It’s simple. She got pregnant.” Shakira shrugged.

  “Are you saying that this nigga killed his own child?” Tino asked in anger.

  “No. Hassan can’t have kids, so he knew that she was cheating on him,” Shakira answered.

  “What! How do you know that he can’t have kids?” Kimora questioned.

  “Hassan was diagnosed with prostate cancer when he was twenty-one-years old. The condition is rare for someone that young, but it was genetic. His grandfather had it and so did Hudson. That’s one of the reasons why Hassan is an only child. The surgery and treatments left him unable to have kids and I’m sure you know what the other side effects are,” Shakira said while looking at Kimora.

  “Limp dick,” she replied, making them all laugh.

  It all made sense to her now. She always said that Hassan was too young to be having those kinds of problems, but she now understood. She also understood why he always got defensive whenever it was discussed. Not once since they were together did he ever mention them having kids. He would always say that Santina was enough and he was good with just her.

  “I just want you to be careful Kimora. Hassan’s temper is something serious. There’s no limit to what he would do when he feels played or disrespected,” Shakira said.

  “I found that out the hard way,” Sydnee sighed.

  Kimora now knew why Elaine always asked her if he was okay. She was always making sure that things between them were good. Kimora was dating a man that she knew nothing about. She had never seen the bad side of Hassan until recently. A man scorned was twice as bad as a female and Hassan was proving that. He was a bitch who used his father’s connections to his advantage.

  “Fuck that nigga. In two days, she’ll be back in New Orleans for good,” Tino spoke up.

  “Thank God. I’m so happy to hear that. I’ve decided to get away from here too. I’m going back to Detroit. I feel like I don’t even know the man that I’m married to anymore. Hassan has more control over my marriage than I do and I’m over it. I tried to be understanding because of his help with our restaurant but there’s only so much that I can take,” Shakira sighed.

  “I was born and raised here but I’m starting to think that Carmel is no longer the place for me either,” Sydnee said.

  “So, let me get this straight. Two niggas got that much power that they can run people out of town and call all the shots. The fuck kind of place is this? I’m happy that my wife is getting the fuck away from here but I’m the karma that’s coming for ole boy’s ass. Y’all can put your last dollars on that shit,” Tino swore.

  “I know it sounds farfetched, but Hudson has everybody in his pockets. He eats lunch with the chief of police damn near every day. He christened the mayor’s son and the fire chief christened Hassan. He’s connected to some very powerful people,” Shakira said.

  “Oh well, I guess there’s no need to tell him that I’m pregnant,” Kimora smirked.

  “Oh God! Seriously?” Shakira asked in shock.

  “Yep,” Kimora confirmed.

  “Don’t tell him Kimora. He knows it’s not his and that’ll only make things worse,” Shakira advised.

  “I don’
t have a reason to tell him shit. I’ll be out of here in two days and I don’t have a reason to return,” Kimora replied.

  “Can I have your number? I want to keep in touch,” Shakira said.

  “Give me yours. I’ll be getting this one changed soon, so I’ll call and give you the new one,” Kimora replied.

  She got Shakira and Sydnee’s number before she and Tino left. She thanked both women for taking the time to put her on point because they shed light on a lot of things.

  “That nigga never told you that he couldn’t have kids,” Tino inquired once they were alone.

  “No but I’m happy about it,” Kimora admitted.

  “Same here. That’s one less thing that we have to worry about. Baby number two.” Tino smiled as he looked over at her.

  “Yep,” Kimora replied.

  “Tell me, why are we waiting to get married again?” he asked her.

  “I told you that I wanted Miko to be here for that. May is right around the corner, so we won’t be waiting long,” Kimora noted.

  “Okay baby. Whatever you want,” Tino replied.

  “We got too much going on right now anyway. We’re moving back home and don’t even have a house to move into. Not to mention Santina’s party that’s coming up. Val is doing way too much,” Kimora said. Val’s sister-in-law was an event planner but she wanted to handle Tina’s party on her own. Tina was her first grandchild and it was personal to her.

  “It’s never too much for my baby. But you don’t need to worry about nothing. That’s my job. Focus on getting your office together and I’ll take care of everything else.”

  “I wonder if Autumn or Miko wants to work the front desk,” Kimora thought aloud.

  “I doubt if Dirty will want Miko to work and Autumn already has a job. Ask your mama if she wants to do it. She already works from home and she can still do that while she’s making extra money with you,” Tino replied as he drove them back to her house.

  “That’s a good idea,” Kimora said, nodding in approval.

  They stopped for ice cream and then went inside to lay up for the rest of the day. The next two days couldn’t come fast enough, and Kimora was ready to go. They would have left sooner but Nita had an appointment with a divorce lawyer. She was serious about ending her marriage and Kimora didn’t blame her. Life was too short to be unhappy and she was thankful that she got a second chance at happiness with the man who she truly loved.

  “ Fuck!” Hudson yelled as he threw his phone against the wall in Hassan’s office.

  He had just gotten off the phone with the elections committee and was informed that he was being investigated. He’d been in politics for over twenty years and had never had that problem before. He’d bought his way into the election and had been going strong since day one. He wasn’t about to let some bitter bitch who his son was sticking dick to jeopardize all that he’d worked so hard to obtain.

  “Relax pops. They don’t have nothing on you,” Hassan assured him.

  “Don’t tell me to relax! This bullshit is all your fault. If you would have kept your dick in your pants, I wouldn’t even be having these problems. You always underestimate these bitches and now I’m paying the price for your mistakes. I can’t even use your engagement to Kimora as a distraction because you fucked that up too,” Hudson fumed.

  “I told you that I’ll take care of it and I will,” Hassan said as he looked over at Ben.

  It was late and his office was closed for the day. He and Ben were discussing business when his father came barging in there to tell them the bad news. Hudson had only been told that Harmony had made allegations against him. He got the call about the investigation while he was there, and he was livid.

  “I’ve been looking for her but she’s doing a damn good job of laying low. Shakira is starting to get suspicious. She followed me to Harmony’s house a few times and she’s been asking questions,” Ben noted.

  “What the fuck is wrong with y’all? Can y’all control these bitches or not?” Hudson asked angrily. He didn’t give a damn about the annoyed look on his nephew’s face. He was sure he didn’t approve of him disrespecting his wife, but he didn’t give a fuck.

  “We’re doing all that we can do. We can’t make the bitch appear out of thin air,” Hassan snapped irritably.

  He wasn’t in the mood for his father’s drama, especially when he had problems of his own. Hassan was sick without Kimora. For some reason, he really thought she would be back, especially since he’d eliminated her only sources of income. His father was friends with all the attorneys that she freelanced for and Hassan had them sever all business ties with her. With no money coming in, he just knew that she would come crawling back to him. Instead, that seemed to only push her further away. Kimora had dropped Santina from the school’s enrollment and paid her final month of rent on her house. Her lease was on a monthly basis, so she didn’t have to worry about that. Ben had been keeping an eye on things and he told Hassan that she had been moving everything out. Her baby’s father was there with her and that angered him more than anything. Well, it did until he received one of the worst calls ever.

  One of the girls that he was cool with was a nurse at Kimora’s doctor’s office. She could have been fired for telling him confidential patient information, but Hassan always looked out for her. When she informed him that Kimora was pregnant, it felt like Hassan’s whole world came crashing down around him. Having biological kids was something that he would never get a chance to experience. Being with multiple women was Hassan’s way of coping with that. Hearing that Kimora was expecting only opened up an old wound that had closed a long time ago.

  Hassan’s first wife, Kimberly, had done the unthinkable when they were married too. She didn’t know that her husband was sterile when she came to him and happily announced her pregnancy. He was sure that she planned to pass the baby off as his, but she had him fucked up. Hassan was enraged as he wrapped his hands around her neck and choked the life out of her. He didn’t feel an ounce of remorse as he watched her lose her bladder and take her last breath. He called Ben to help him get rid of the body and went on with his life like it was nothing. Besides his cousin, his parents were the only other ones who knew about it and they would never tell a soul. His only regret was never finding out who she was cheating on him with. Hassan was no thug, but he would have made sure that Ben put a bullet in his head.

  “Find that bitch and fix this shit. And if you have to bury her next to the other one, then so be it.” Hudson frowned as he picked his phone up from the floor and left.

  “Man, I don’t know what he wants me to do. I’ve been neglecting my business trying to find this hoe. Shakira is getting fed up. She’s talking about going back to Detroit,” Ben argued.

  “Fuck that bitch!” Hassan snapped.

  “That’s my wife you’re talking about bruh,” Ben said defensively.

  “As if I give a fuck. If she don’t have your back, then you don’t need her.” Hassan shrugged.

  “She’s been having my back since before we moved here. I left Detroit to get away from a life of crime. It seems like I’m in even deeper since I moved here. I’ve already lost enough. I’m not trying to lose my wife too,” Ben said.

  “Maybe you’re trying to lose your business instead,” Hassan threatened.

  He saw all the fight leave his cousin the moment he mentioned his restaurant. That was all that Ben had and Hassan didn’t have a problem dangling it over his head. If that’s what kept him in line, then he was all for it.

  “I keep closing down early and I’ll no longer have a business to lose. I’m missing out on money,” Ben complained.

  “I got five grand with your name on it, so don’t even worry about that,” Hassan said.

  “Shit, for five grand, I’ll go snatch up that bitch and her mama,” Ben laughed, even though he was serious.

  “Man, fuck Harmony. In due time, I’m gonna make sure she’s buried in the field right next to that other deceitful bitch. Right
now, I need you to handle that other business that we just discussed,” Hassan replied.

  “I got you cuz. I’m on it,” Ben assured him as he stood up.

  “Listen, don’t call me once it’s done. Go open the restaurant for breakfast just like you normally would. It has to be business as usual and I don’t want you to change up. I’ll come in to work like I always do, and I’ll be over there for lunch. I don’t want nobody getting suspicious,” Hassan said.

  “Gotcha.” Ben nodded, right before he walked out of the office.

  He walked to his car with a lot on his mind, but his hands were tied. Without his cousin and uncle, he wouldn’t be where he was with a record as long as his. Ben realized that he was the one taking all the risks but the payouts that he received were well worth it. He was just hoping that it was all over with soon because his wife was getting fed up. Hopefully, that was the last of their problems and he could live a carefree life like Shakira always wanted them to.