I Can't Let Go

by Chenell Parker

  Alvin looked away, admitting his guilt. After being married for almost thirty years, Nita knew him like a book. She was right, and Hassan and his father did have a lot to do with his decision to leave Carmel. Hudson was being investigated for a lot of his wrongdoings during the election and Hassan was probably gonna go down with him. Alvin saw his daughter’s ex a few weeks before and he had his jaw wired shut. He told Alvin that Kimora was a dirty hoe who was gonna get hers and they ended up arguing. Granted, Alvin wasn’t the best husband and father, but he loved his wife and kids. He didn’t grow up with a close knit family and he was never shown that kind of love. Still, he wasn’t about to stand there and let anyone degrade his daughter. He didn’t know what happened between them and he didn’t care. All he knew was that Kimora had moved back to New Orleans and was back with Tino.

  When it was all said and done, Hassan basically told him that he was going to have his job, but Alvin never gave him the chance to make good on the threat. He resigned the following week and started sending resumes to schools back home. He and Nita had never purchased a home in Carmel, so it would be easy for him to leave.

  “This is not about them. Is this really how you want to end almost thirty years of marriage?” Alvin asked her.

  “Absolutely.” Nita nodded.

  “Starting over at our age is just ridiculous,” Alvin noted.

  “Maybe so but I’m looking forward to it.” Nita smiled.

  “You do know that half of this house belongs to me,” Alvin pointed out.

  “Take me to court,” Nita replied angrily.

  Kimora and Autumn were standing behind the door listening to everything. Kimora’s parents had split up before, but it never went as far as divorce. They were much younger when it happened, but Nita always went back. She was more determined now than she’d ever been before. When Kimora heard them start to argue, she stepped onto the porch to intervene.

  “Y’all need to calm down. I’m sure the neighbors know all of your business by now,” Kimora said.

  “Hey sweetheart. Where is my baby girl?” Alvin said as he walked over and hugged her. He pulled back and looked shocked when he felt Kimora’s tiny baby bump. She wasn’t visibly pregnant, but she was starting to show just a little. Her stomach was always so flat, so it was very noticeable to some.

  “She’s with her father. And, yes, baby number two will be here in September,” Kimora replied.

  “Congratulations baby. You make sure you let me know when you find out what you’re having.” Alvin smiled. Since moving to Carmel, Kimora and her father formed a decent relationship. She was still happy that her mother left him, but they got along better now.

  “I will,” Kimora replied.

  “Come on, so we can finish what we were doing,” Nita said to her daughter before going back into the house.

  “Can you believe that she’s still trying to go through with this divorce mess? That woman always has been stubborn,” Alvin argued, as Kimora looked at him like he was crazy. The nerve of him to call somebody else stubborn when that title fit him perfectly.

  “Just give her time daddy,” Kimora said.

  “How much time does she need? I’m moving back in two weeks and she’s basically saying that I no longer have a home to move into.”

  “Well, get yourself an apartment,” Kimora replied.

  “I won’t have a choice if she keeps this up. I need to get going. Make sure you keep me posted on the baby.”

  “I will. Tina is having a party soon and I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you,” Kimora said as he walked to his car.

  “Text me the info and I’ll be there,” Alvin assured her before he got into his car and pulled off.

  “Bastard must think I’m stupid. He can’t pay me to believe that he’s moving back because he misses his family. Fuck him!” Nita ranted.

  “Ma!” Kimora yelled, shocked to hear her mother going off like that.

  Nita didn’t care about how anybody felt. She kept going off about her soon to be ex-husband like he was a nigga on the street. No matter what he said, she wasn’t going backwards. Their time apart let her know that she was making the right decision. She was happy and there wasn’t a time where she felt lonely or missed him. That was all the confirmation she needed.

  Once they were done, Kimora and Autumn left to go to their own houses. Kimora wanted ice cream, but she went to Val’s house to get her baby first. When she got there, none of the cars were in the driveway. She called Tino and learned that he was with Val and Tina getting more party supplies, but they were in line checking out. He offered to bring her some ice cream home, but she declined. She didn’t really know what she wanted, and she knew that she would probably get more than just one flavor.

  On her way to the ice cream parlor, Kimora decided to stop at the gas station to get some fish and fries. It was the cheapest, greasiest thing that she’d ever eaten but she loved it. Once she got her food, Kimora ate as she walked back to her car. When a black SUV pulled up on the side of her, she dropped her food in fear when a masked man jumped out with a gun pointed at her.

  “Give me the keys!” the man yelled, right as another one joined him and pointed the gun at her head. Kimora was paralyzed with fear and she couldn’t move. It was broad daylight but that obviously mattered none to them.

  “Are you deaf bitch? Give up the muthafucking keys!” the other man yelled.

  “Okay, just please don’t hurt me,” Kimora begged as tears fell from her eyes.

  She dug into her purse for the keys, all the while regretting driving Tino’s flashy piece of machinery. She had already received the money from the insurance company, and she needed to get her own car. Tino gave her a key to his, so she wasn’t in a hurry.

  “Hol’ up!” a third man yelled as he emerged from the car.

  Kimora felt like she was about to lose her bladder when he walked over to her. Three men robbing a defenseless pregnant woman was overkill but she was too afraid to voice that to anyone. He grabbed her face and lifted her head up to meet his gaze. They all had on masks, but his eyes looked hard and cold. Kimora felt like he was looking into her soul, but she didn’t know why. They could have the car and everything in it. She would never resist because her life was worth so much more than a damn Bentley. She was already regretting her move to New Orleans. It hadn’t even been that long since she returned, and she was already being robbed in broad daylight. She berated herself for even stopping but she hasn’t done anything wrong.

  “What’s your name?” the man asked, taking her by surprise. Kimora didn’t want to tell him her name, but she feared what would happen if she didn’t.

  “Kimora,” she mumbled through trembling lips.

  “Fuck! I’m sorry baby girl. Get in your car and peel out,” he replied.

  “Nigga what!” one of his accomplice’s shouted. “That’s not a part of the plan.”

  “Fuck the plan. That’s AJ’s sister,” the other man noted.

  “I thought she was locked up,” his friend said.

  “Not that one. He has two sisters and a brother. This is the youngest girl,” he pointed out.

  “Shit. Sorry about that sweetheart. I got too much love for your brother, dead or alive, to do you dirty. Get in your car and go home,” the angrier man of the trio said in a softer tone than before.

  Kimora was shocked when they all backed away and allowed her to leave. She kept looking out of her rearview mirror to make sure she wasn’t being followed. Her hands were trembling too bad to call Tino. She was happy when she pulled up to Val’s house and saw them unloading bags from the trunk. Kimora was crying hysterically when Tino walked over to the car and opened the door.

  “What’s wrong baby?” Tino asked as he pulled her out of the car.

  As soon as Kimora opened her mouth to answer, she threw up everything that she’d just eaten. Her nerves were all over the place and she was shaking.

  “What’s wrong with my mommy?” Santina asked as her eyes filled wi
th tears.

  “She’s okay baby. Go back inside with grandma,” Tino replied with a reassuring smile.

  “I’m okay baby,” Kimora said as she forced a smile for her as well. Once she saw that everything was okay, Santina went back into the house.

  “What happened baby?” Tino asked while wiping her mouth with a paper towel.

  “I almost got robbed just now,” Kimora replied.

  “What! Where?” Tino yelled angrily.

  “At the gas station on the Expressway,” Kimora said as she ran the entire story down to him.

  “Man fuck! You sure you don’t know who those niggas were?” Tino questioned.

  “No, they all had on masks but one of them obviously knew me. I’m grateful for that much but I’m never leaving the house alone again,” Kimora swore.

  “You got that shit right,” Tino replied as he hugged her tight. He was mad with himself for not being there but shit probably would have went left if he was.

  “I need to hurry up and get me a car because I’m never driving yours again,” Kimora promised.

  “I’ve been having that car for almost a year and nothing like that has ever happened to me before,” Tino replied.

  “Maybe they saw a woman driving alone and decided to make their move.” Kimora shrugged, right as Ced and Val came rushing out of the house with Santina.

  “What’s up? Where y’all running off to?” Tino asked.

  “The hospital. Dirty got shot,” Ced replied calmly. That alone let Tino know that his cousin wasn’t dead.

  “He got hit in the arm and side, but he’ll live. The bullets went in and out,” Val added.

  “The fuck is really going on today? First, niggas tried to rob my wife; now, my right hand is laid up in the hospital shot up,” Tino fumed.

  “Who tried to rob her?” Ced stopped and asked.

  “We don’t even know,” Tino replied as he and Kimora followed them to Ced’s truck.

  “Miko is gonna die when she hears about this,” Kimora said as they backed out of the driveway.

  “He’s alive. That’s all I care about,” Ced replied.

  They rode the rest of the way to the hospital in silence. When they got inside, they were told to sit in the waiting room until they could go back to see Dirty. Ced was Dirty’s contact for everything, so he was who the hospital called. He called his other brothers to tell them what was up and, about an hour later, the waiting room was crowded. Bryson looked distraught as his girlfriend tried to comfort him. The doctor came out and gave them some news, but it was nothing that they didn’t already know. He said that Dirty was in a lot of pain and the meds had him sleeping off and on.

  Hours had passed, and Ced gave Val his car for her, Kimora and Tina to go home. It was late but he wanted to make sure his nephew was straight. If he had been the one locked up, he knew that his brother would have done the same for him.

  “Family of Brody Dixon!” a nurse came out and yelled, calling out Dirty’s real name.

  “Yeah, I’m his uncle,” Ced stood up and said.

  “Santino?” the nurse asked with raised brows.

  “No, I’m Cedric. Santino is my son,” Ced noted.

  “Okay, well, Mr. Dixon won’t be able to have any visitors until tomorrow, but he asked me to walk Santino back there for just a minute. I’m sorry that y’all had to wait so long for nothing but we had to get him stable. He’s doing fine but he’s on some heavy meds,” the nurse said.

  “That’s okay. Y’all were just doing your jobs. I’m just happy that he’s okay. Go on back there Tino. We can leave once you’re done,” Ced replied as he sat back down.

  Tino followed the nurse to the back until they got to Dirty’s room. When he walked in, Dirty was slightly elevated in the bed eating a cup of ice.

  “Your faking ass,” Tino laughed as he gave him a one armed hug.

  “Man, they got a nigga ass all out and shit with this thin ass gown on,” Dirty complained.

  “Where is your phone? Your wife is going crazy. Kimora told her that you were okay but she’s not trying to hear that shit. She wants to talk to you,” Tino said.

  “It must be in my car. Man, I wasn’t even thinking about that damn phone,” Dirty admitted.

  “How did you get here?” Tino asked.

  “I drove myself here. You know damn well I wasn’t about to get the police involved. Some shady shit is going on cuz. Nobody but a handful of us knew that I was going to pick up a shipment today. That shit wasn’t no coincidence that niggas tried to rob me a few minutes after I got it.”

  “Some shit popped off with Kimora today too,” Tino said as he told Dirty the story that Kimora had told him.

  “Man, I thought about what you said a while ago and I’m starting to believe it. That nigga Ramon is looking guiltier by the day.” Dirty frowned.

  “I don’t do business with that nigga no more. There’s no way he should even know about our shipments,” Tino noted.

  “Yeah but the nigga still be around. His brother could have slipped up and told him. Hell, it could have been Bryson or Corey. All I know is them niggas cut me off and hopped out the car on me. They were masked the fuck up, but they wanted me dead. I been having a funny feeling all day, so I had my strap riding shotgun. The only reason I was able to get away with my life was because I was shooting back.”

  “I hope you hit one of them niggas,” Tino gritted.

  “I didn’t even look to see. I backed up and came straight here. I still got a car full of dope. That’s why I told ole girl to let you back here. You gotta get rid of that shit cuz. You can’t drive that car though. It’s full of bullet holes and blood. The windows are shot out, so you’ll be drawing too much attention to yourself,” Dirty said.

  “No worries cuz. I’ll take care of it,” Tino said, right as his phone rang. It was Kimora calling on three-way with Miko. Tino was happy that he was in the room so that she could talk to her husband. He ended up staying in the room way longer than he should have because Miko called back and talked to Dirty two more times.

  “She fussing at a nigga while I’m laid up in the hospital,” Dirty laughed once the phone hung up.

  “You know it’s all love. I’ll bring your phone to you, so she can call you back. I got my cousin coming through to get that shit out of your car and I’ll have it towed to the shop,” Tino said.

  “They can burn that bitch up because I don’t want it no more. I was trying to hold out until my wife came home but I can’t wait. I’m out cuz. Tell Luis that he can have that shit. I was just being greedy anyway. I got enough money saved to last for a while.”

  “I understand fam. That shit will make you do some soul searching. Them bullets be getting a nigga’s mind right,” Tino laughed.

  “I just wanna know who the fuck it was. It’s a wrap for their asses when I find out,” Dirty swore.

  “I feel the same way about the niggas who shot me. That shit still be keeping me up at night. Now, this shit that happened with Kimora is something else that I have to worry about. I honestly don’t think it was the car that they were really after. If so, them knowing her brother wouldn’t have stopped them from taking it,” Tino replied.

  “All this shit is crazy if you ask me. I’m just trying to chill and wait for my wife to come home. Everything else is irrelevant right now.”

  “Yeah, we got a lot going on too.” Tino nodded.

  “What’s up with Kimora’s bitch ass ex? Did you handle that business yet?” Dirty asked.

  “Yep, handled it this morning. Now, all I have to do is sit back and wait. I don’t need no new problems to add on to the ones that I already have. With buying a new house, planning Tina’s party and helping Kimora set up her office, my plate is too damn full,” Tino said.

  He was happy that he and Kimora purchased a home in a well secured gated community on a private street. Cars couldn’t even enter the area if they didn’t live back there and security made sure of it. The guards called residents if they had a vis
itor and they made a copy of their license before they let them through the gate. Admittedly, Tino was a little paranoid and he wanted to make sure that his family was safe. It was fucked up that he didn’t even feel comfortable enough letting some of his own family members know where he would be laying his head. Not all of them could be trusted.

  “Go handle your business cuz. This medicine is about to have me out again.” Dirty yawned as he shifted uncomfortably and winced in pain.