Accidental Love (Accidental Crush #2)

by Adrienne Torrisi

  I keep my eyes focused on my chipped, blue nail polish as I try to figure out exactly how to put this to my brother. "It's not all his fault, Ry. I mean, he thought I kissed Casey. Casey, the one person he told me to be careful with. He told me before he left he thought Casey liked me."

  "He did?"

  "Yeah. And I hate that you guys aren't talking. This is between me and Todd, not you."

  "Yeah, but I want to kill him for hurting you." His eyes give me a once-over before they reconnect with mine.

  "And I love you for that, but you and Todd have been best friends for almost as long as I've been your sister."

  Ryan gives a small laugh and smiles. "That is true." He shrugs. "But I only have one sister."

  "Might I remind you, not too long ago, you did something similar to Gretchen."

  "Hold on; I didn't kiss back."

  "But Gretchen did, and you forgave her." I see the realization sink in, and actually, I hadn't thought about it that way before, either. The accident last year really helped everyone put their priorities in perspective. It helped us to see what is truly important. I smile for what is definitely the first time since Todd was in my room, sitting right where Ryan is sitting now.

  He gives me a big smile and pats my leg. "You're right, Ash Bug." He starts to get up.

  "Where are you going?"

  "I'm going to text Todd. Maybe you should, too." He gives me his famous Ryan smile. That smile could solve all of the world's problems. "Oh, and Shane and Sid are on their way over."

  "Wait. What? Why?" I feel panic wash over me. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

  "Because I called them." His eyes scan me again. "You need some help." He smirks and tosses one of the many dirty clothes strewn across the floor at me.

  ***

  After a rapid cleanup of my room, I'm actually excited to see Sid and Shane when they barge through my door. Excitement is a feeling I haven't felt in a while; it seems strange and unfamiliar.

  "Ashley, get up," Sid says as she enters my room.

  "And get dressed." Shane gives me a look of disgust like he wouldn't be caught dead with me wearing old boxers and a tattered t-shirt. Before I can respond, he's going through my closet. "Here, wear this." He throws a dress at me.

  One look at it makes me think of Todd. "I can't." I shake my head.

  "Snap out of it, Ash. We're going to make new memories in it today," Sidney says, not tolerating the reason I want to avoid wearing it.

  "Put it on," Shane retorts, and they both cross their arms as they stare me down.

  "Now," Sid adds. It's clear neither of them want to hear my excuses. So I do exactly what they say, and before I know it, we are sitting in our favorite frozen yogurt shop.

  This really is what I needed. I didn't even realize how much I've missed them or our fro-yo catch ups. It's good to be back here.

  With a mouth full of fro-yo, Sidney lays down the rules. "Rule Number One: we are not talking about Todd. Rule Number Two: we are not talking about Todd. Rule Number Three: we are not talking about Todd."

  "Um, you just did." Shane smiles.

  "Good point. From this moment on, we are not talking about Todd," she says emphatically.

  "But first, you need to tell us what happened," Shane says, clearly breaking all of the rules.

  Sid and I both throw M&Ms from our yogurt toppings at him, and he ducks down.

  "What? Is that a no?" he says from under the table.

  I laugh and it feels good. "Sit up. I'll tell you, but then, I like Sid's rules."

  "Deal," they both say. I can see Sid is just as eager as Shane to hear the story.

  "Todd really didn't say anything before he left?" I ask Sid.

  "Nope. Nothing. I could tell he was upset, but he locked himself in his room. He said he was packing, and then he left really early the next morning."

  My heart sinks at just the thought of him. I take a deep breath and tell myself this is the only time I'm going to say this out loud.

  "Well, the short story is we broke up."

  They both gasp simultaneously, and I'm shocked by their shock. "What did you think happened?"

  They both look at each other then back to me. "We just thought you were still on a break," Shane answers.

  "I cannot believe he broke up with you over Casey. How many times do you have to tell him it was a mistake and you didn't kiss him back?" Sid says much louder than I think she realizes.

  "Shhhh," I say through a fake smile as I look around to see who else might be here. I love her for caring, but I wish she would lower her voice.

  'Sorry,' she mouths to me.

  "It's not just that, Sid."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Yeah, what do you mean?" Shane leans in closer.

  I look up, contemplating if I should say any more. Then I think of our no secrets pact, and I feel like I need to tell them. I need to say the words out loud. It might help them feel more real.

  "Todd got the picture of me and Casey and got really pissed and kissed some girl at a party." I figured I should leave the drunken part out for his sake. I mean, Sid does have a big mouth, and I could see it slipping out in front of their parents.

  They both gasp loudly again. They are now leaning in so far across the table I'm actually trying not to laugh. I can tell they are hanging on my every word.

  "And Ryan's the one who found them kissing. Ryan pulled him off, and they got into a fight. That's why Todd said he wanted to take a break. Then, when he came home, he said he thought it was best if we weren't together."

  "Because of this girl?" Shane asks with a look of hate.

  I shake my head as I take a bite of my fro-yo. "He doesn't even remember her name."

  "Oh, that's nice." Sid is full of sarcasm.

  "This doesn't sound like Todd. What else did he say?" I can see Shane trying to piece everything together.

  "That's it. He thinks he's bad for me," I say with a sarcastic sneer. It's incredible how good it feels to say this out loud while getting validation from my best friends that I have a right to feel horrible because this whole thing is insane.

  Sid and Shane look back at each other, their faces washed with confusion. "So what did you say?"

  "I said, I think he's right." I shrug.

  "Why?" they ask in unison.

  I look down at my frozen yogurt and start to play with the spoon. "Because… I… Because I was really hurt. I am really hurt. I can't believe he kissed some girl he didn't even know, and I can't believe that he really thought I would kiss Casey." I take a deep breath and look back up at them. They are still leaning halfway across the table and listening raptly.

  "I'm sorry, Ash." I hate the look of sympathy they give me.

  "Don't do that."

  "What?"

  "Look at me like that. Okay, enough of this. Sid, let's start following your rules."

  "Good plan. But just know we're here for you if you need us. I can't believe it's been a week, and you didn't say anything. I can't believe Ryan had to call us." Sid looks at Shane for help, but he's too busy eating to notice, so she elbows him hard.

  "Geez, Sid," he says to her before smiling at me. "Right, what she said."

  I can't help laughing. "I love you guys."

  "Hey, does Casey know about you and Todd?" Shane asks, still engrossed in his fro-yo toppings.

  "Shane!" Sid shouts.

  "What? He's not Todd. Is there a rule on Casey?"

  We all start to laugh as that statement sinks in. "Good question. That's what got me into this mess in the first place."

  "You are really bad at the rules thing, Shane." Sid throws her crumpled napkin at him.

  "That's true. I've never really been good with 'rules'." Shane smiles. "Just ask Johnny."

  I almost choke on my bite of frozen yogurt at how open he just was. "Wow, Shane, when did this happen?" I ask, gesturing to him with a smile at how casual he's being about Johnny.

  "They actually kissed in front of me the
other day." Sid looks up to the sky as if she's replaying it in her head. "It was beautiful."

  "Shane, I'm impressed." This is the first piece of truly good news I've had all week. "Where was I?"

  "At the pool," Sid responds matter-of-factly.

  "Avoiding everyone's calls," Shane chimes in.

  I roll my eyes and laugh. "Yeah, I have been doing a lot of that lately. Shaney, I'm excited for you."

  When he smiles, my heart actually beats with happiness for the first time in a long time. "Thanks, Ash. Yeah, Sid took it pretty well."

  "Of course I did. What did you think I would do? I'm just happy you're happy."

  "See," I say as I reach out and touch Shane's hand.

  "It was good practice, but I'm still not ready to tell anyone else yet. I think that's about as 'out' as I want to get anytime soon."

  "Baby steps." Sid wraps her arm around him.

  "How is Johnny?" I ask.

  "Great." Shane's smile gives away exactly how much he likes him. "It's been fun to have alone time this summer and not have to worry about who might see what at school."

  "That's great, Shane."

  "But he'll be starting summer football practices soon. Damn football ruins everything."

  "Isn't that the truth?" I say with a laugh. I can't believe I actually just laughed at everything that is happening. This is miracle fro-yo!

  Chapter 20: Interesting Encounter

  I'm unfortunately back at work today. Everything I loved about the pool at the beginning of the summer, I've now grown to hate. I've had enough of the sun, enough of my guard chair, enough of the screaming kids—well, I'm not sure I ever loved that part.

  "Hey, you should come tonight. It'll be fun, and it'll be good for you to get out." Casey rubs my arm as we cop-a-squat under our usual air vent to try to cool off during our first break.

  "I don't think so, Casey." I shake my head as I play with the orange-fringe carpet. Sitting here has become a ritual for us on every break.

  "But you're part of the swim team, and it's a party to celebrate the amazing summer we've had. We're undefeated in relay, and a big part of that is thanks to you." He nudges into me with his arm.

  "Thanks. But I'm not really in the party mood." I shrug with my eyes still locked on the carpet.

  "Party? Who said party?"

  I look up at him and smile. "You just did."

  As our eyes lock, he gives me his flawless, white smile. Now that summer is almost over, his sun-kissed skin is a deep, golden brown, making his teeth look even whiter and more perfect.

  "Noooo." He shakes his head. "Nope. No party. Just a small get-together at my house with the swim team."

  I laugh and shake my head. "Whatever, Casey."

  He wraps his arm around me. "Come on, Ashley Taylor, say you'll go."

  I can't help but laugh. He clearly isn't giving up. "Okay. I'll go."

  "That's my girl." He squeezes my shoulder with his arm that's still wrapped around me.

  "Hey, Ash." I look up to see Ryan walking by us in the break room. I forgot he was stopping by today to pick up his paycheck. Now that he's back from camp, he's working at the pool again. He gives me a what-the-hell-are-you-doing look, and I want to scream 'He broke up with me. He's the one who kissed some else,' but I don't. I still haven't told Casey, so I ignore the look.

  "Hey, Ry, see you at home," I say, returning his glare, as if to say back off.

  I know Todd is coming home tonight; thus hanging out with the swim team could be a good distraction. This is a day I've looked forward to for so long, and now I'm dreading it. Another thing I'm dreading is, next week, Todd will be back to work at the pool. It's easier when Todd isn't here. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to handle the breakup with him being so physically close.

  One positive is Ryan and Todd are tight again. Ryan did text him, and they've talked a few times. From what I could tell, listening to the one-sided conversation through the vent, it sounds like Ryan has finally decided to let this be between Todd and me.

  I, on the other hand, haven't been able to bring myself to text him yet. I've typed a million texts, but I can't seem to hit send. It's much easier to hit delete. Todd hasn't texted me, either, so it's not like I have a text to return. At least Ryan and Todd are good, though.

  ***

  As I walk up the steps to Casey's house, I'm in awe. First, there is nothing small about this party. Second, his house is huge. There is an enormous front entry; it's hotel lobby kind of huge. There is a large, round, wooden table with a giant flower arrangement in the center of it. And this is only the front doorway. Then I remember all of my conversations with him about his parents being all for show and not really caring, and it all seems to click.

  There are people everywhere, music is blaring, and it definitely doesn't feel like this party is just starting. I instantly regret that I let him talk me into coming. Why did I come by myself? Oh, I know, because he said it was just the swim team. 'Just the swim team, a small get-together.' I'm going to kill him! If I ever find him.

  As I push my way through the crowd, I don't recognize anyone, so I just start asking strangers if anyone has seen Casey. Every single person sends me in a different direction. Not only is this house huge, but it's like a maze, and every room is dark and packed with people. Thankfully, Casey is tall, and I finally see him above the other heads in the third or fourth room I've been through.

  He sees me and his smile ignites a feeling I've never felt with anyone other than Todd. His smile brightens the whole room. He shoves his way through the crowd toward me, and we finally meet in the middle.

  "Small get-together, huh?" I shout over the music.

  "This is my sister's fault. I swear." He holds up his hands innocently.

  "Nice excuse."

  "It was supposed to be a small get-together, but Dylan upped the ante a little."

  "A little?" I stand on my tiptoes and shout as close as I can get to his ear, but I'm still not sure he can hear me over the music.

  Then a cute blonde girl I've never seen before latches onto his arm, clearly she’s been drinking. "Casey, this is a great party, as always."

  The smile she gives him says she wants to do more than just talk, and I almost feel uncomfortable standing here.

  "Court, I think you've had enough," he says, removing her arm from his.

  "Don't be such a buzz kill, Case," she slurs as she walks her fingers up his Polo shirt.

  "Seriously, Courtney, how did you get here; did you drive? You need to go sleep it off in a guest room."

  "What if I want to sleep it off in your room?"

  Casey gives me a sideways glance, as if to say I'm sorry, but she doesn't miss it.

  "Who's this?" She gives me the once-over. I can tell this girl is usually a lot smoother when she isn't completely wasted.

  "This is Ashley. We work together," Casey intercepts before I can answer.

  "Hi. Ashley. Who. Works. With. Casey." She over enunciates each word. "I'm Courtney, Casey's Girlfriend."

  Casey pulls her back to put space between us. "Ex-girlfriend," he clarifies with a smile, and I can tell he's uncomfortable.

  "Oh, please. That's such a tiny, little, unimportant word. Ex," she says with a sarcastic laugh, the sudden movement causing her to stumble.

  Casey catches her then locks eyes with me as he holds her up. "Wait here. I'll be right back. Okay?"

  I nod my head with a smile.

  "Bye, Ashley who works with Casey," she says as he pulls her away. I see him take her toward the stairs, so I just sit down on the nearest couch and wait for him to come back. It's not like I know anyone else here.

  As I people watch, I think about who these kids are. They all live so close to me but have such different lives than I do. I wonder who their parents are and if any of them live in houses this big. Then, from across the room, I see someone I do recognize—RTS.

  It's the first time I've laid eyes on her since the text. Without even thinking, my feet are
moving through the crowded room toward her. Before I know it, I'm standing right behind her. I would know her mousy-brown hair anywhere.

  Without giving myself time to think about it, my finger taps her on the shoulder. She turns around, and the shocked expression on her face brings me joy.

  "Expecting someone else?" I say sarcastically.

  "Uh, hi, Ashley." She instinctively backs up a little.

  "What are you doing here?" I ask as if it's my party she's crashing.

  "Casey invited us." She gestures over, and I see Gretchen talking and laughing with girls I've never seen before. One of them looks like Dylan, Casey's sister, but it's hard to tell from here.

  My eyes lock on the phone that's in the hand she's gestured with. That is the phone. My stomach lurches like it's on a giant roller coaster.

  "Taking pictures tonight, Rebecca?" I say, full of angry sarcasm. She doesn't need an explanation; she understands exactly what I mean.

  She smiles sweetly. "Are you going to give me a reason to take any?"

  I'm not exactly sure what comes over me, but my fingers curl into a tight fist, then I pull back and slam it as hard as I can into the center of Rebecca's face. Shit, that hurt, but man, did it feel good. She stumbles back and almost falls into the people she was talking to a few minutes ago.

  The shocked look on her face makes all the pain worth it, even if I did just break my hand. I start to open and close it, trying to shake it out, but it really hurts. Why do boys punch things?

  I feel a smile form on my face, and the appalled shock on the faces of the strangers surrounding me is strangely satisfying.

  RTS has both of her hands covering her nose, and when she pulls them away, they are covered in blood. Yet another strangely satisfying thing. The crowd starts to pull back and form a circle around us, as crowds usually do when someone is making a scene. I don't care, though.

  "Now you finally got what you deserve!" I scream in her face before she lunges for me.

  I brace myself for the blow I know is coming, but I feel someone pull me back hard, and her fist misses me. The thrust in action causes her to fall to the floor, and I hear a gasp come from the surrounding crowd.

  "What are you doing?" I hear from behind me, and I turn around to see Casey standing there, his arms still wrapped around me. "I told you to wait over there." His head gestures toward the couches. The look of shock and disappointment on his face instantly makes me feel bad.