Reluctant Desire

by Leah Brooke

  Holding up her hand, she threw the covers aside again, her patience at an end. “I don’t want them, damn it! They make me groggy and keep putting me to sleep.”

  Beau paused beside her, a muscle working in his jaw. “In this instance, I don’t particularly care what you want. The pain medicine keeps you comfortable and lets you get the sleep you need in order to heal.”

  Charity narrowed her eyes at his solicitous tone, wishing she could read his mind. Ever since the accident, he’d been almost like a stranger to her. She wanted the man she’d fallen in love with, the smiling, playful man who’d stolen her heart.

  “They keep me unconscious!” Smiling, she crossed her arms over her chest. “I guess that makes me easier to deal with, huh?”

  A flash of impatience flashed in Beau’s eyes, but disappeared almost immediately. “Calm down. I know you’re just upset because you’re in pain and tired of lying in bed. The pills just let you sleep, and the doctor said he wants you to take them and get the rest you need at least for a week. Now, stop getting yourself all worked up and take your pill.”

  Charity gritted her teeth. “I’m. Not. Taking. It.”

  Remembering all the times she’d criticized him for playing too much, she wanted to kick herself. With a sigh, she held her hand out to him, delighted at how quickly he took it. “Beau, I want everything back the way it was. I’m really sorry for the things I said to you before. I didn’t really mean them.”

  “Yes, you did.”

  “Are you mad at me?”

  Beau frowned. “Of course not. If you want to go down to the diner to eat, why don’t you lie back and rest a little.”

  Hoping to get a reaction from him, Charity smiled playfully, wrinkling her nose at him. “I’m surprised you’re not trying to prevent me from leaving the apartment.”

  Instead of the teasing comment she’d hoped for, Beau shrugged. “Your mom and dads have been worried about you, and almost every time one of them comes up to see you, you’ve been asleep. This will give you a chance to visit with them, and I know they’ll watch over you and make you eat while I run some errands and check on some things.”

  Her smile fell. He probably had a million things to do, and instead, hadn’t left the apartment. If she was going stir crazy, he had to be bored out of his mind. “What kind of errands?” Maybe she could talk him into taking her with him.

  His smile didn’t even come close to reaching his eyes. “I need to check on the store.” His eyes narrowed. “And to pick up your engagement ring. Jake called this morning to tell me it’s ready.” Turning, he left the room.

  Charity frowned as several things hit her at once. Raising her voice to be heard in the kitchen, she fisted her hands on her lap. “Those pain pills you keep shoving down my throat have made me stupid. Damn it, Beau. You’ve ignored your business to take care of me.”

  Beau came back into the room, carrying a stack of her clothing, already folded. “Contrary to popular belief, it took years and a lot of work to get my business to a point that it practically runs by itself. I didn’t lose a dime by being here.” In the process of putting her clothes away, he met her reflection in the mirror over her dresser. “But, even if it had cost me every cent I have, I wouldn’t have left you. Clear enough? Have you decided what you want to wear?”

  Her gaze went to his shoulders, which seemed wider than ever, smiling at the images that raced through her mind.

  Gripping his shoulders as he took her.

  Resting her head on his warm, muscular shoulder as he held her after sex and talked to her in a low intimate tone in the darkness.

  She let her gaze linger on his arms, arms gentle enough to carry her across a snow-covered field without hurting her, and strong enough to rip a car door from its hinges to get to her.

  Arms that wrapped around her and made her feel safe, loved, and very desired.

  She’d needed him, and he’d been there.

  He’d been strong when she’d needed his strength, and gentle when she needed his tenderness.

  She loved him more than ever, and wanted to understand how such a playful man could have hidden this part of himself from her.

  Determined to dig deeper, Charity watched him move around the room, planning her strategy.

  Now that most of the pain medicine had worn off, she could think again, and she wanted nothing more than to get to the bottom of what made Beau Parrish tick.

  Nothing she said seemed to make any difference in his demeanor. She had to find a way to get him to talk. Really talk. “Beau, I really appreciate all that you’ve done.”

  Beau nodded, frowning as he exchanged the pair of socks he’d picked out for her for a thicker pair. “You’re welcome. Get back into bed and go to sleep. You’ll need your energy for going out later, and you sure as hell won’t get it from the little you eat.”

  Bristling at his distant tone, she ran a hand over her hair, embarrassed at how grungy she felt. “I want to take a shower and wash my hair.”

  She also needed to brush her teeth, which felt as if they all had little sweaters on them.

  She also wanted to smell a hell of a lot better.

  Placing the bra, panties, and socks he’d picked out for her on the bed, he appeared to consider that. “Okay. You’d probably sleep better, and it’ll give me a chance to change your sheets.”

  When he bent as though to carry her again, Charity waved him away, not wanting him near her until she cleaned up. “I can walk. I need to move. I’m stiff all over.”

  Beau frowned. “Lie down and I’ll give you a massage. Jesse brought a basket over for you and I think there’s some massage oil in there.”

  Grinning, she jumped on the opportunity to tease him. “I can only imagine what a massage from you would be like.”

  To her surprise, Beau frowned. “I hope you don’t mean that I would try to fuck you when you can barely move. Hell, you’re black and blue all over.”

  Pulling her nightgown down from where it had slid high on her thigh, Charity covered the ugly bruise. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Don’t.” Beau seemed to regret his harsh tone, and blew out a breath. “Don’t insult me by covering your bruise as if you think anything would make you unattractive to me.” Bending and gathering her close, he kissed the top of her hair. “I’ve always thought you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.” Lifting her chin, he dropped a soft kiss on her lips. “Nothing will ever change that. How about that massage?”

  Touched, and humbled by his loving words, Charity swallowed heavily, blinking back tears. “Oh, Beau. That has to be the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

  She started to cuddle against him, and then remembered how badly she needed a shower. Leaning back, she smiled. “Would you mind if I took a rain check? I really want to take a shower and wash my hair.” She’d definitely take a rain check and get the massage he promised when it would do her the most good. She already had plans for the next several minutes.

  He rubbed her lower back, always cautious of her injuries as he removed her brace. “Of course, cher. Anytime you want it.”

  He took his time undressing her, working her nightgown off and over her head and leaving her naked except for a pair of cotton panties. Sliding his hands over her skin with a familiar tenderness that made her skin tingle with awareness, he bent to kiss her temple. “You are so incredibly beautiful.”

  Careful not to move her left arm and hurt her shoulder, Charity cuddled against him. “Beau, this feels so good. I’ve missed you so much.”

  Lifting his head, Beau stared down at her and smiled, a real smile that made his beautiful dark eyes twinkle. “I’ve been right here, cher.”

  Her heart lurched at his smile, the butterflies in her stomach reminding her of the night they’d first become lovers.

  Cupping his cheek, she urged him to lower his head and reached up to kiss his chin. “Yes, you have. You’ve taken such good care of me. Beau, I’m so sorry for all the things I said to

you. I was just so scared.”

  Gently cupping her breast, Beau ran his thumb back and forth over her nipple. “Scared of what, Charity?”

  Moaning at the rush of pleasure to her slit, Charity gripped his forearm to steady herself. “I was scared that this was all just a game to you. I love you too much, Beau. I couldn’t stand it if none of this meant anything to you.”

  Running his other hand down to caress her bottom, Beau nodded, his eyes flat. “I know that, Charity, and I have to admit that it hurts. I think it’s ironic that I’ve spent years building my business into something that doesn’t require a great deal of my time so that when I fell in love with a woman, I could spend as much time with her as I could, only to fall in love with a woman who thinks working his fingers to the bone is the only way to show that he cares for her.”

  Charity frowned. “That makes me sound awful. Oh, Beau, I swear I didn’t mean it that way.”

  To her relief, Beau smiled. “I know you didn’t. It’s just that we never really talked about it. I’m not blameless in this, Charity. I’ve kept things from you, too.”

  Something in his tone sent a chill through her. “You’ve kept things from me? I know we never really talked about you. You turned every conversation around.” Straightening, she crossed her other arm in front of her, grasping her injured one. “What kind of things have you kept from me?”

  Lifting her chin, he frowned. “Don’t look like that. It’s nothing bad, just a problem I have to deal with. As soon as you’re feeling better, we’ll talk about it. Now, come on and take your shower. It’s too cold for you to stand here in just a pair of panties. This damned apartment’s like a refrigerator.”

  Nervous now, and wondering about Beau’s secrets, Charity allowed him to lead her into the bathroom, holding his shoulder as he bent and removed her panties. “Beau, you’re scaring me.”

  Careful of her injured arm, Beau gathered her close and ran his hands down her back, his hands warm and firm against her skin. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. We’ll talk about it, but it’s not going to change the fact that we’re getting married.”

  “So tell me now.”

  “I will.” Frowning slightly, he patted her bottom. “But, not until you get better. That should be motivation enough for you to eat and get enough rest.”

  Slapping his back as he bent to turn on the water, Charity glared at a spot between his shoulder blades. “You know damned well that the suspense will drive me crazy.”

  Beau finished adjusting the water temperature and straightened. Turning, he grabbed a towel and dried his hands, grinning in a way so much like the Beau she knew that she could only stare up at him, her heart pounding furiously as a rush of desire washed over her.

  “I know, chéri.” Wrapping an arm around her, he helped her into the shower. “Take your shower. I’ll be right out here. Let me know if you feel dizzy.”

  Shaking her head as he closed the curtain, Charity pulled the lever to start the shower, raising her voice to be heard above the spray. “I never realized how devious you are.”

  “I didn’t want to scare you off. I brought in the basket that Jesse, Nat, and Kelly brought. Would you like me to open it for you?”

  “Sure.” Standing under the spray, Charity let the warm water wash over her. Like most of the women she knew, she already had several of the products from Jesse and Kelly’s shop, Indulgences. The products were fabulous, and she just couldn’t get enough of them.

  She hoped Jesse included something that smelled good enough to entice Beau. “I don’t remember them coming over.” Stepping out of the spray, she heard the rustle of plastic wrap. “Is there any shampoo in there?”

  “You were sound asleep. A lot of people have been here. And yes, there are two shampoos. One is the unscented one you use and the other is vanilla fig. Damn, that smells good.”

  Charity stilled. “Give it to me.” With her good hand, she pushed the curtain aside and reached out a hand for the shampoo. “Any more vanilla fig bottles in there?”

  If not, she’d go down to Indulgencies and get everything she could find in that scent. Seeing that Beau had opened the bottle for her, she smiled and lifted the bottle to her nose. “That does smell good.” Careful not to move her left arm any more than necessary, she poured a dollop of shampoo into her right hand, and struggled to wash her hair one-handed.

  Beau moved the curtain aside and poked his head in, his eyes raking over her body as he took the shampoo bottle from her, making her skin tingle. “Yeah, cher, it does, and you have more. Bodywash, body lotion, even some massage oil. I think I remember this from Jesse’s store. I went in there one day to meet Rio, and they were making it. The whole place smelled like it and I didn’t want to leave.”

  God bless Jesse.

  Charity grinned. Jesse or Nat must have remembered how much Beau liked the scent. She rinsed her hair and held out her hand for more. “Thanks.”

  Beau closed the curtain again. “Do you want the bodywash, too?”

  “Sure, I might as well use all the same scent.”

  If Beau liked it, she’d wallow in the stuff.

  Careful not to make him suspicious, Charity sighed loudly enough to be heard over the shower, and injected a touch of weariness into her voice. “Forget it. My arm’s too tired.” Reaching for the conditioner, she hid a smile when Beau poked his head through the curtain again, and made a show of struggling to pour some out. “You don’t think you could come in here and—no. Forget it.”

  As she’d expected, Beau rushed to help her.

  “Sure, I can come in and help you. It’s probably better. That way I can make sure you don’t fall.”

  He left the shower curtain partially open, and over the sound of the shower, she could hear him hurriedly throwing off his clothes.

  Smiling with anticipation, Charity held the bottle to her chest and waited.

  Her breath caught at the sight of him stepping into the shower, all lean muscle and hard lines taking up most of the room in the small stall.

  The thrill of having him naked and close enough to reach out and touch proved irresistible. Holding the bottle against her chest with her left arm, she reached out her good one, laying her hand on his chest, and smiling at his sharp intake of breath.

  Meeting his speculative gaze, Charity bent forward to kiss his chest, looking up at him through her lashes. “I’ve missed you.”

  Smiling when his cock jumped against her belly, she reached down and wrapped her hand around it, her smile widening when it grew longer and thicker under her touch. “It looks like you’ve missed me, too.”

  With a faint smile, Beau unwrapped her hand from around his cock and placed it back on his chest. “No.”

  Charity couldn’t help but run her hands over him, the sight of his sleek, wet body enticing her to explore. “We can, if you take me slowly.” Lifting her eyes to his again, she leaned into him, smiling when he set the conditioner and shower gel aside and took her gently by the shoulders. “Remember the night you took my virginity?”

  Beau’s eyes flared with heat. “That’s a night I’ll never forget.”

  Reaching up, she ran her fingers through the ends of his damp hair. “Take me like that again.”

  Beau’s body shuddered, his eyes closing briefly as his cock jumped against her belly. “Baby, I’d love nothing more.” Bending low, he touched his lips to hers, pushing her wet hair back from her temple. “As soon as you’ve healed. You’re sore and injured. It won’t be long. Now, behave yourself so I can wash you.”

  “Then can I wash you?”

  Beau’s lips twitched. “I already had a shower. Let’s just get you washed and out of here before you fall.”

  Charity held her breath as he poured a dollop of shower gel into his hand, her skin tingling with anticipation. Wanting his hands on her as much as possible, she sighed. “Since I’m hurt, you should probably do it slowly. Real slow.” She wanted it to last as long as possible.

  She met his suspicious gaze with what she hoped to be a look of innocence, pushing her bottom lip out just a little, the way Hope did when confronted with Ace’s temper.

  Beau’s eyes narrowed, and he watched her for several long seconds, his eyes searching. Finally, he smiled faintly and nodded once. “Of course. I planned to be gentle with you. You should know that. What’s wrong with you?” His eyes narrowed again. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were up to something.”

  Charity gasped at the feel of his hands closing over her breasts. “I could ask you the same thing. Ever since my accident, you’re different. Oh, that feels good.”

  “Don’t wiggle so much. Your chest has to be sore.” His hands moved lower to wash her belly. “What makes you think there’s something wrong with me?”

  Stiffening, she sucked in a breath when he moved toward her sore hip, but relaxed again under his gentle touch. “Beau, that feels so good. I think I’m going to take you up on that massage.”

  Straightening, he braced her with a hand at her back as he moved the other in a circular motion over her bruised hip. “Feel good, cher?”

  Keeping her sore arm between them, she wrapped the other around his waist and leaned into him. “Heaven.” The feel of his cock pressing hard against her belly caused a stirring between her thighs and had her pussy clenching with need.

  His touch both soothed and aroused her, and within minutes, she found herself giving in and going wherever he took her.

  Beau rubbed her back, the slow side of his hand over her wet skin relaxing her sore muscles even more. “Why did you ask if there’s something wrong with me?”

  Charity couldn’t hold back a moan as Beau focused on a particularly tight muscle. “You don’t laugh anymore.”

  “You’re hurt. There hasn’t been much to laugh about, has there?”

  Alarmed at his flat tone, Charity pushed against him, lifting her face to his. “Beau, I’m fine. I’m just a little sore, but I feel better every day.”

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