Reluctant Desire

by Leah Brooke

  He nodded once, not looking convinced. “Good. Now be still so I can wash the rest of you.”

  She shivered as he poured more of the gel into his hand and knelt in front of her. Bracing herself with a hand on his shoulder, she spread her legs as he began to wash her. “I never thought I’d have to say this, but I miss playing with you.”

  Beau glanced up at her as he finished her legs and moved his hand higher. “I don’t think either one of us has been in the mood to play.” He washed her slit with a speed that left her frustrated and yearning for more. “Don’t look at me that way. When I get you back to bed, I’ll make you come if you need relief, but I’ll be damned if I’ll do it in here where you can fall.”

  “If I wasn’t hurt, I’d make you change your mind.”

  Beau glanced up at her again, lifting a brow. “If you weren’t hurt, it wouldn’t be an issue. Can you turn around?”

  Charity glared at him and turned, rubbing her thighs together as she did. “Yes, I can turn around. You’re being mean. Touching me just enough to arouse me, and then—”

  “You were aroused when I stepped in here. You get even more aroused when I touch you, which gives me a great deal of satisfaction. In case you haven’t noticed, you have the same effect on me, cher.” The hint of laughter in his voice warmed her all the way through, relieving some of the tension tightening her muscles. Biting her lip as his hands ran over her bottom, Charity swallowed a moan. “Beau?”

  Thinking about the number of times he’d talked about taking her there, and the smooth slide of his hands over her cheeks, Charity found herself clenching her buttocks against the slight tingling of her puckered opening.

  “Were you serious about what you said about…you know. Or, were you just teasing me?” Cursing the fact that her face burned and her inhibitions kept her from finishing the question, she stopped abruptly.

  Beau chuckled, a sound that vibrated over her skin. “About me taking your bottom?” Straightening, he turned her in his arms and, with a tenderness she’d come to rely on, began to wash her injured shoulder and her arm.

  Charity nodded, lifting her arm slightly at his urging. “Yes.” Careful to keep her gaze averted, she watched his soapy hand move over her, sneaking glances at his cock, and trying to imagine how something so large could fit inside her. Her bottom clenched again, the tingling there driving her crazy.

  “Don’t worry about it. You’re too delicate for something like that.”

  Charity stiffened, insulted. “Too delicate?” Turning, she fought a wave of dizziness, frustrated that she had to reach for him to keep her balance, and even more irritated that he caught her against him before she could—as if he’d known.

  “Look, Beau. I got hurt, but that’s it. You didn’t seem to think I was delicate before the accident.”

  Setting the gel aside, Beau pushed her gently under the shower spray. “You are the most contrary woman I’ve ever met. Every time I ever mentioned taking that tight ass, you got skittish, but then when I touch you there, you come hard and fast. Now that you’re injured, and can barely move, you want me to fuck your ass.”

  Charity sputtered, wiping the water out of her eyes so she could see him. “I didn’t say that. I just want you to be the way you were before, damn it.”

  Beau reached behind her and turned off the water. “You didn’t like the way I was before. It kept you from marrying me, didn’t it?”

  When he reached for a towel, Charity laid a hand on his chest, desperate to make him understand something she didn’t quite understand herself.

  “Beau, I need you to listen to me.”

  He wrapped the towel around her and with gentle hands, helped her from the shower. “I always listen to you, cher. Stand still so I can dry you.”

  Still naked and dripping, Beau ran the towel over her before wrapping her in a dry one and drying himself. “How do you feel? You’re swaying.”

  “I feel better.” Grabbing the comb from the countertop, she started to run it through her hair. “I really want to talk to you.”

  “So talk.” He tossed the towel aside and lifted her in his arms. “I’m going to put you in the chair while I change the sheets.”

  Charity made herself comfortable, feeling guilty because she didn’t have the energy to help him. “I hate being waited on, and that’s all you seem to do lately.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I haven’t done much. If you want to talk, you’d better hurry before you fall asleep.”

  Cursing the weakness that pervaded her, Charity blew out a breath, fearing he was right. “Beau, you have to understand that you have quite a reputation in town. You always have.”

  Looking up from where he tucked in the sheets, he frowned. “What kind of reputation?”

  Remembering the jealousy she felt every time she heard another woman talk about him, Charity forced a smile. “You’ve always been known as a playboy—as a man who could never be pinned down. You liked to play and made no apologies for it. You rarely dated a woman more than a few times, and made it plain that having fun was your first priority.”

  Beau frowned as he moved around the bed. “The women I went out with knew the score. I didn’t hurt anyone, Charity.”

  Charity sat forward and pulled the top sheet to straighten it. “Well, I felt like I was playing the same game with you and I didn’t know the score. I thought you would assume I did. I tried to pretend like I did so you wouldn’t think I was unsophisticated, but I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.”

  Lifting her gaze to his, she forgot about her shoulder and shrugged, instantly regretting it. “I couldn’t resist you. Stupid, huh?”

  Beau came toward her and knelt at her feet, taking her hands in his. “And I sure as hell couldn’t resist you.” His smile made him even more gorgeous. “I knew you were unsophisticated, cher. You were a virgin, remember? I never would have taken your virginity if I hadn’t planned to marry you.”

  Stunned, Charity could only stare up at him. “But, Beau, that was months ago. You couldn’t have known you wanted to marry me then.”

  His lips curved. “And yet I did. Let’s get you into bed and under the covers before your feet get cold again.”

  Charity couldn’t hold back a moan as he lowered her to the bed, propping her into a sitting position, and pulled the blankets over her. “God, I feel good. I haven’t felt this good in days.”

  “Good.”

  Lulled even more by the feel of a comb going through her hair, and the warm air of the dryer, Charity closed her eyes and started to droop, leaning more heavily against Beau.

  A few minutes later, he turned the dryer off, setting it and the comb aside. His hands went to her waist, holding her steady as he dropped the softest of kisses on her shoulder. “Sit up just a minute so I can get the brace back on you.”

  “Do I have to wear it while I’m sleeping? I’m tired of it.”

  “I don’t want you to move your arm the wrong way in your sleep.”

  Turning her head toward his, Charity smiled. “Why don’t you lie down with me and make sure? You look exhausted.”

  If she could get him to lie down with her, maybe she could get him to get some of the sleep he so desperately needed. Real sleep, not the kind he got in the chair.

  Beau smiled faintly. “I’m fine, but if you think you can lie on your right side, I’ll slide in behind you. It’s been a long time since I held you, and never when you were sleeping.”

  Charity moaned in pleasure as Beau lowered her to the bed and stretched out behind her. “I was stupid. I don’t deserve you.”

  Pulling the covers up, Beau kissed her bare shoulder before tucking the blankets around it. “We deserve each other. Now, stop moving around and go to sleep.”

  Warmed by the heat of his body against her back, and by the hint of laughter in his gruff tone, Charity smiled. She knew Beau hadn’t had a lot of sleep since staying with her, sleeping either in the chair next to her bed, or short naps on her sofa while she watche
d television.

  “This feels good. Will you stay here with me? You won’t leave?”

  “Hmm. I won’t leave.” He sounded half asleep already, his Cajun accent even thicker and sexier. “You sure you don’t need a pain pill, chéri?”

  “I’m sure. You give off a lot of heat, and it’s making me feel good already.” She hadn’t felt this good in days. “Just don’t leave me.”

  Beau wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her left hand in his, effectively keeping her from moving it. “I’m not going anywhere, cher. Neither are you.”

  Smiling, Charity let herself drift to sleep, amazed at how wonderful it felt to fall asleep in the arms of the man she loved.

  Now that they’d talked and she’d explained herself, she was confident that everything would be back to normal.

  He just needed some sleep.

  Chapter Ten

  She shivered with the cold, a cold that went all the way to her bones. She didn’t think it was possible to be this cold.

  She tried to move, and gasped at the pain in her side, a pain that went from her shoulder all the way to her hip. Her entire left side hurt, and each small movement, even a deep breath, made her whimper.

  Beau!

  She wanted Beau.

  He would get her warm. He would make the pain go away.

  They would come. He would come. She knew they would come—but what if they couldn’t find her?

  How long could she last in this cold?

  So cold. She couldn’t stop shaking. So scared.

  Beau!

  Her head hurt, but the headache accompanying it hurt even more. It pounded with every click of the flashers. The constant blinking of her hazard lights reflecting off the snow, and on her dashboard made her headache worse. She couldn’t turn them off, though, or Beau may never find her.

  So dark.

  Closing her eyes, an image formed, one of Beau smiling at her.

  The surge of love that swelled up inside her brought tears to her eyes.

  She wanted Beau. She needed Beau.

  When he found her, everything would be all right.

  She had to make everything all right with him again. She couldn’t stand the thought of losing him. She opened her eyes again, hoping to see his face.

  So dark.

  The snow came down harder and faster, building up outside the window and partially blocking her vision.

  If the snow covered her car, he’d never find her in time.

  So cold. Freezing.

  She would die out here and he’d never know that she’d made a mistake.

  He’d never know that nothing was as important as being with him.

  He’d never know how much she loved him.

  So cold. So tired.

  The snow continued to pile up, covering her car until she couldn’t even see the glow of the blinking lights anymore.

  She was going to die in here, and Beau would never know how sorry she was.

  Where was he? Beau!

  * * * *

  “Beau!”

  Beau jerked upright, Charity’s tortured cry scaring the hell out of him. Cursing, he tightened his hand on hers to keep her from thrashing. “Charity, wake up, cher.”

  “Beau! I’m so sorry.”

  Beau stilled when she began to sob, his heart pounding as she called to him over and over. Gathering her closer, he pressed his lips against her ear, anxious to wake her. “I’m here, cher. Wake up. Open those beautiful eyes for me.”

  “So cold.”

  “No, cher.” He pulled the covers higher, his heart breaking at her choked cries. He struggled to keep his tone calm and soothing, but raised his voice to wake her from the nightmare that held her in its grip. “You’re nice and warm in bed with me. Wake up for me. Come on. You can do it.”

  She stilled briefly and then the tension left her body in a rush, and he knew she’d finally woken up. “Beau?”

  The lump in his throat nearly choked him, but he forced a smile to reassure her. “Of course. Who else would it be? You had a bad dream. You’re still shaking.” Nuzzling her neck, he kissed her hair. “Tell me about it.”

  She gripped his forearm, her breath coming out in short pants. “Oh, Beau. I dreamed that I was trapped in the car. The snow piled up so you wouldn’t have been able to see the lights and I would have died in there without telling you how sorry I am for doubting you.”

  Thinking about his own nightmares of not finding her in time, Beau gathered her close. “I’ve had that same nightmare quite a few times. We found you, and thank God you weren’t hurt worse.”

  Keeping one arm around her, he bent to see her face, rubbing a hand up and down her back in an effort to get her to stop shaking. Concerned that she looked so pale again, he kept an arm around her to steady her. “I was afraid you would have nightmares. The painkillers knocked you out and probably kept you from having them until now.”

  When she struggled to get into a sitting position, he wrapped his arm around her waist and sat up, using his own strength to pull her with him instead of making her use her sore muscles.

  Breathing in the scent of the bodywash she’d used, a scent mingling with her own tantalizing sweet scent, Beau ran his hands over her soft skin. “Let’s get you dressed in something warm and get out of here.”

  Hoping that getting her out of the small apartment would be good for her, he started to rise, pausing when she caught his arm, his stomach clenching when she looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. “Cher, don’t!” Bending to bury his face in her hair, he groaned. “Please, Charity. Try not to think about it.”

  “Beau, it’s not that. I’m just so sorry. Please forgive me.”

  Lifting his head, he smiled down at her, tucking her hair behind her ear, and wondering if she knew just how much she meant to him. “There’s nothing to forgive. You were scared but you were honest with me. I just hope you can forgive me when you see that I wasn’t entirely honest with you.”

  As he’d hoped, she narrowed her eyes, all remnants of fear gone. “You’re driving me crazy. If you don’t tell me what you’re hiding—”

  He tapped her nose, relieved to see the terror in her eyes dimming. “I will. Let’s just get you better first.”

  * * * *

  Giggling, Charity pushed at his shoulder despite the fact that it felt so good to be in his arms. “Beau, you don’t have to do this. I can walk, you know?”

  Beau nuzzled her ear. “Maybe I just like carrying you.”

  Secure in his arms, Charity rested her head against his shoulder as he carried her down the stairs from her apartment, and through the back door of the diner. “Beau, I love you so much. Would it sound stupid if I said that it irritates me to be so weak that you feel as if you have to carry me, but that I love how it feels to be in your arms?”

  “Not stupid at all, cher.” Beau smiled and paused just inside the back door to the diner. “I feel the same way. I hate that you’re hurt, but I love carrying you.” Shaking his head, he started to move again. “Sometimes I wish I could just put you in my pocket so you’ll be safe.”

  Disturbed by the worry in his voice, Charity cursed the fact that the brace on her arm kept her from reaching up to cup his jaw. “Beau, don’t. I’m the same as I was before. I can take care of myself. Don’t let things change between us.”

  Disappointed when he set her on her feet, she leaned into him another few seconds, reluctantly straightening when her fathers rushed to her side.

  “How are you feeling, honey?” Her oldest father came forward, dropping a kiss on her forehead. Gripping her chin, he lifted her head, studying her critically. “You’re looking a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you. Beau must be taking good care of you.”

  She accepted kisses from her other two fathers, who darted out to check on her before rushing back to the busy kitchen.

  Beau bent, his lips brushing her ear. “The restaurant’s packed. Let’s get you out of the way and settled out front. Everyone want
s to see you.”

  A shout went up when Beau ushered her through the swinging door to the seating area as several of the residents of Desire called out to her. Blinking back tears, she smiled at everyone, touched and once again thankful to be part of such a town. When Hunter and Remington dropped their forks and rushed to her side, Beau stepped back to give them room, but stayed at her back, his hands warm at her waist.

  Looking from Hunter to Remington, she smiled, hoping to relieve some of the concern in their eyes. “Thank you both so much for coming out to look for me.”

  Remington grinned, the rare softening of his features lasting only an instant before his eyes narrowed at the bruise on her cheek. “We would have found you first if Beau and Ace had gotten out of the way. I hear congratulations are in order.”

  Charity slid her gaze toward Beau, who stood talking to Clay and Rio. “Thank you.” Meeting Remington’s gaze again, she couldn’t resist teasing him. “So when are the two of you going to finally settle down?”

  Hunter unbuttoned her thick jacket and helped her out of it, easing it away from her shoulder. “Now that you’re off the market, we’re doomed to stay single.”

  Intrigued and concerned by the haunted look in his eyes, Charity frowned. “Is something wrong?”

  Remington shot a look at his brother and smiled. “Not at all. We’re just too picky. I’m glad to see you looking a little better. Your progress is pretty much the topic of conversation.”

  Charity groaned, but smiled, warmed by their concern. “That doesn’t surprise me. That’s what happens when you live in a small town.” Touching first Hunter’s arm, and then Remington’s, Charity looked from one to the other. “It also means that everyone comes to help when you need it. I can’t thank you enough.”

  Hunter kissed her forehead. “Just don’t ever scare us like that again.”

  “Here. Here!”

  Charity grinned, blinking back more tears, and turned to find Beau watching her.

  Smiling at the indulgence and love in his eyes, she moved slowly from table to table to thank her friends for coming to her rescue, and accepting congratulations on her upcoming marriage.