Reluctant Desire

by Leah Brooke

  After a few minutes, Beau appeared at her side, his hand warm on her back. “You’ve been standing long enough. Your mom’s anxious for you to sit down. She’s got your lunch ready.”

  Knowing that Beau would be just as anxious for her to sit as her mother, Charity went willingly. “My lunch? What about you? Aren’t you eating?”

  Beau looked out the window, clearly distracted. “I’ll grab something later. Jake’s waiting for me and I have a couple of errands to run.”

  Her mother came up behind him and tugged his arm until he turned toward her and hugged him. “Hi, Beau.” Leaning back to look up at him, she frowned. “You look exhausted. I’ll come up tonight and watch over her.”

  Beau smiled, laying a hand on her shoulder. “She’s fine now. There’s no need to sit in the chair and watch over her anymore. I’m just there to make sure she doesn’t try to do anything she’s not supposed to do, and to make sure she doesn’t get dizzy and fall. She’s getting better and it’s all thanks to that delicious food you keep sending up.”

  Amused at her mother’s blush, Charity settled back in the booth and met Beau’s gaze. “You flirting with my mother?”

  Beau smiled down at her mother. “Of course.” He lifted his gaze to meet Charity’s again, his tone much cooler. “Since you didn’t eat the breakfast I fixed, you’d better eat all of your lunch.”

  Aware of her mother’s searching look, Charity carefully kept her smile in place. “Beau thinks I can eat as much as he does.” She lifted her gaze to Beau’s again. “Are you sure you can’t stay and eat with me, and then I can come with you to run your errands?”

  Shaking his head, Beau straightened. “No. It’s too cold out, and you’d be worn out in just a couple of minutes. I can get everything done faster while you’re here. You stay in here where it’s warm and have someone looking over you. You’re still too weak to be running around.”

  Gracie looked up at Beau, her eyes narrowing in a way Charity had come to know well. Her mother knew that something wasn’t right. “We’ll take care of her—just as you have. Get your things done, and when you get back, I’ll have a nice meal waiting for you.”

  In the hope of keeping her mother from worrying, Charity forced a smile. “He’s probably dying to get out a little. Sitting in my apartment day after day, he’s probably bored out of his mind. Beau, I can’t tell you how much I apprec—”

  Beau nodded once. “So you’ve said. Several times. If you really want to thank me, eat your lunch, cher. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

  As soon as he walked away, Charity’s mother slid into the booth across from her. “Reminds me a lot of your fathers. You picked a good man, honey.” She followed Charity’s gaze, watching Beau as he crossed the street. “That’s a fine man. Impressed the hell out of your fathers. I didn’t think anyone could ever impress them as much as Ace, but Beau sure has.”

  Her oldest father came to the table, placing a cup of coffee in front of her mother. “Sure has. He’s been worried about you, and took it upon himself to take care of you, hardly ever leaving your side. Good man.”

  He touched Charity’s hair before turning and walking away, leaving Charity and her mother alone to talk.

  Charity turned to smile her thanks to her father, and then turned back to watch Beau through the front window of the diner. She hadn’t wanted to say anything to her mother, but figured that since her mother had three husbands of her own, she would be something of an expert.

  Turning back, she reached for her mother’s hand, blurting out her concern. “He hasn’t been the same since the accident. He never really smiles anymore.” Frustrated at her inability to put it into words, she blew out a breath. “Well, he smiles. It’s nothing that I can put my finger on, but he’s not the same. No playing. No teasing. I mean, he’s been there for me. Helpful. Caring. Protective. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

  Pulling her hand back, she ran it through her hair, remembering how Beau had dried it for her. “I shouldn’t be complaining. There’s nothing to complain about. He’s just…different.”

  Lifting her gaze to her mother’s again, she swallowed the lump in her throat. “It scares me. I think I changed him—that he changed for me. I don’t want that.”

  Despite the concern in her eyes, her mother smiled and patted her hand. “He’s probably just anxious. I know he didn’t care for the fact that you didn’t want anyone to know you were seeing him. He’s relieved that he doesn’t have to hide it anymore.”

  Charity stilled at something in her mother’s tone. Whipping her head around to face her, she winced at the pull to her shoulder. “You knew?”

  Her mother frowned. “Of course. It was a relief to him that you finally agreed to marry him. He’s been telling everyone who stopped by.”

  Her mother sighed. “Everyone’s been so worried. Some people didn’t want to bother you, and came in here to see if you and Beau needed anything. That man didn’t leave your side except to come down to shovel the snow while Hope and I stayed with you. Even when we went up to visit, he left the bedroom door open so he could hear you if you called out for him.”

  Smiling, she looked down at her hands. “I was there one night when you did. You should have seen his face when you woke up moaning, calling for him.”

  Meeting Charity’s gaze again, she shook her head. “Jesus. If I didn’t already know that man loved you, just the look on his face as he ran to you would have convinced me.”

  Charity stilled. “What do you mean ‘if’ you hadn’t already known?”

  Wrapping her arm around Charity, Gracie led her to the table. “I know my daughters, and I sure as hell know when they’re in love. I didn’t want your heart broken, and I knew you were lovers—”

  “What?”

  Her mother chuckled. “Charity Sanderson, I’m surprised at you. You were born and raised in this town. Everybody in Desire knows everybody else’s business. Did you really think you could have a lover and nobody would know about it?”

  Her oldest father, Garrett, came up to the table again, nodding as he placed a glass of sweet tea in front of Charity. “Beau came to us right up front. He didn’t want us thinking he was using our girl. He’s been in this town long enough to know how it’s done. Told us he wanted to marry you, but that you were being stubborn.”

  He bent to kiss her forehead. “Since I know you well, I believed him, and wished him luck.”

  Straightening, he ran a hand over her hair. “You wanna tell me why it took so long?”

  Grinning, Charity shrugged. “Just wanted to be sure I was getting a man as good as my daddies.”

  Her youngest father, Finn, came up behind her mother, tickling her as he leaned over her shoulder. Grinning at Charity, he ignored her mother’s efforts to slap him away. “Baby, your daddies are in a class by themselves.”

  Gracie sighed, bending her head and rubbing her eyes. “Good Lord. Now, you’ve done it.” Lifting her head, she sent him a look of exasperation tinged with love. “I’ll go get your lunch while your daddy piles it on.”

  As soon as her oldest father and her mother left the table, her youngest father slid into the booth across from her, his smile falling and his eyes narrowing in concern. “Now that we’re alone, do you want to tell me what’s going on between you and Beau that’s putting that sad look in your eyes?”

  Charity sighed, propping her chin in her hand. She started to speak, surprised when her voice broke, and had to swallow before she could try again. Voicing her fears proved more difficult than she’d thought. “Oh, Daddy! I’ve made such a mess of things.”

  “Tell me.”

  With a sigh, Charity sat back, blinking back tears and smiling her thanks when her mother set a plate piled high with chicken and dumplings in front of her.

  Her parents’ thoughtfulness didn’t surprise her. They’d served her one of her favorites, and thankfully something she could eat with one hand. When her mother shared a look with her father before leaving to help
a customer, Charity began hesitantly, and between bites of the succulent food, told her father the entire story.

  When she finished, she sighed and took a sip of her sweet tea, feeling much better. “I start the arguments we have. I know that. I’ve just been nervous about marrying him. He teases about everything and won’t really talk much about himself. How was I supposed to know that he took things between us as seriously as I do? I want someone for forever, like you have with Mom.”

  Her father frowned, turning his head to watch the movements of his wife. “I play a lot, and like to tease your mother and my brothers. Have you ever seen me shirk my responsibilities, or known me not to be there for any of you if you needed me?”

  Charity’s stomach clenched and she felt even worse. Blinking, she stilled, surprised that she’d never thought about it that way before. “No, Daddy. You’ve always been there for us.”

  His handsome features hardened. “Did you, your sister, or your mother ever have any doubt about how much I love you?”

  Struck by how upset her father looked, she could only imagine Beau feeling the same thing. “Of course not. We always knew. I just didn’t know with Beau. I needed to make sure.”

  Sitting back, he eyed her thoughtfully. “Do you still have any doubts?”

  Charity smiled and blinked away tears, a sense of relief washing over her. “Not a one. Not about that, anyway. I just know how much work it takes to raise a family and I don’t know if Beau’s sure of what he’d be getting into.”

  Sitting back, she pushed the plate away and wiped away a tear. “You worked so hard. You and the other dads always did what needed to be done.”

  Pushing her plate to the side, her father took her hand in his. “Oh, honey. Do you really think we would have worked so hard if we didn’t have to? We would have loved to spend more time with our girls. We would have given anything to be able to take you on vacations.”

  Scraping a hand over his face, he sighed, his soft curse surprising her. “Between the three of us, we tried to make sure we spent as much time with all of you as we could. I didn’t realize you felt this way.”

  Feeling even worse, Charity tightened her hands on her father’s. “Daddy, no! Please don’t think I didn’t appreciate everything all of you did for us. I did. That’s just the point. I grew up with three wonderful fathers who were always there for us. That’s what I want. For me, and for my children. I see the way the three of you always try to keep Mom from worrying, and try to take care of everything—and there are three of you. How can I expect one man, one who seems to want to play more than he wants to take care of his business, to be able to deal with that?”

  Her father raised a brow, his eyes hard and searching. “And now?”

  Running her finger down the side of her glass, Charity shrugged, instantly regretting it as pain radiated down her left arm. Wincing, she reached for her shoulder with the other hand, thankful that the pain faded almost as quickly as it came. “When I was lying there, all that other stuff seemed stupid. I realized that I love Beau even more than I thought. I can’t live without him. Whatever it takes, I want him in my life.”

  Her dad smiled, the tension leaving his features. “He’s a good man. His circumstances make it even easier for him to have free time for you and your children. He’s been a rock through all of this, taking care of you, dealing with the insurance company, and he even came down to shovel snow while your mother and sister sat with you. If I’m not mistaken, he even ordered you a new car. Yours was totaled. He’ll be there for you, honey.”

  “Oh, Dad. I’ve got to find a way to fix this. He’s been so wonderful.” Her stomach hurt at the thought of not being able to make things right between her and Beau. She couldn’t stand it if what she’d done had changed their relationship forever.

  “You will, baby. You will. You’ve always been a worrier. It’ll be fine.” His gaze followed her mother as she refilled coffee cups around the diner, his eyes filled with love for her. “Your mother’s been worried. It’s a relief to all of us that you’re marrying Beau, but your mother especially. She’s always had a soft spot for him.”

  Her mother must have heard him because she made her way to the table. “You can thank your lucky stars that I’ve got a soft spot for you. Now, get out of here so I can talk to my daughter alone. You’ve hogged her long enough.”

  Watching her father slide from the booth, Charity giggled as she watched the play between him and her mother.

  He managed to tickle her as he dropped a hard kiss on her lips, deftly avoiding her efforts to push him away. “Stop nagging me, woman.” Turning his head, he winked at Charity. “She’s just mad because every time she went up to see you, you were asleep. She’s been chomping at the bit to spoil her little chick and talk about your wedding.”

  Her mother slapped at him, but her smile, the twinkle in her eyes, and the flush on her cheeks told Charity that her mother delighted in her father’s teasing. “Get out of here.”

  Charity’s own smile fell as memories assailed her—memories of her mom and dads laughing.

  When she thought about it, she realized that her home had always been filled with laughter. Fun. Teasing.

  It seemed so long since she’d moved out to go to college that she’d forgotten.

  How could she have forgotten?

  Many times, her fathers had chased her mother around the house. Laughing, she and Hope had joined in, running with their mother as her fathers made a game of it, coming close, only to pretend to miss them at the last moment. Eventually, her fathers had each caught one of them, tickling them and demanding a kiss.

  They’d teased each other as they played card games and board games.

  All three of her fathers hadn’t always been present, and her youngest father had played more than her other two, but she could remember good times with all of them.

  She and Hope used to sit on their laps, watching animated movies, and eating the popcorn they’d made. She smiled when she remembered that at those times, her mother had been doing something with her other father.

  At the time, she and Hope hadn’t paid any attention. They’d been thrilled to be spending time with their daddies.

  Staring down at her tea, she waited until her father left and her mother slid into the booth. “The dads sure did have a lot of patience. I’m sure they hated all those animated movies Hope and I used to watch.”

  Her mother smiled. “They might not have liked the movies, but they loved spending time with you and your sister.”

  Charity grinned. “I just realized that two of the dads stayed with us, while you were off with the other.”

  To her delight, her mother laughed and turned a becoming shade of pink. “With three husbands, it’s important to spend time alone with each of them.” Her laughter faded, but she smiled as she patted Charity’s hand. “And your daddies always felt bad because they couldn’t spend as much time with you as they wanted to.”

  Shaking her head, she blew out a breath. “They were scared to death when they heard you were in that accident. I haven’t seen any of them ever look like that before.”

  Charity stared down into her cup again. “I didn’t mean to scare anyone. If I could have found my phone, I would have called to let you know I was okay. The damned thing flew out of my hand.”

  She couldn’t get the images of laughing with her dads out of her mind. “We had so much fun growing up.” She looked up at her mother’s burst of laughter, a little surprised to see that the diner had pretty much cleared out.

  Still laughing, her mother turned to where her oldest father stood, leaning on the counter and watching them. “Garrett, do you remember the time we played hide-and-seek with the girls, and Charity fell asleep?”

  Her father smiled faintly, his eyes still dark with concern as they lingered on her face. “Scared the hell out of all of us. Finally found you curled up in a basket of laundry your mother had just taken out of the dryer.”

  Charity smiled. “You and th
e dads had a lot to deal with. Hope and I must have been quite a handful.”

  He walked around the counter and to the table, eying her critically. “You were, but we loved every minute of it. Are you feeling all right? Beau will be happy to hear that you had a big lunch, but you’re looking a little pale.”

  “I feel fine—better without all the pain medicine.” Blowing out a breath, she sat back, her stiff muscles making it difficult to get comfortable. “I made a mistake with Beau, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

  Seeing a movement out of the corner of her eye, Charity turned her head to look out the window.

  Her breath caught at the sight of Beau coming toward the diner, the powerful grace in his stride stirring something warm and feminine inside her.

  It had been too long since they’d made love, and she was impatient to heal and get back to it. She wanted that special tenderness, the soft words in the dark.

  The connection that only lovemaking could bring.

  Her mother patted her hand, drawing her attention back to her parents. With a small smile, her mother leaned against her father, a familiar sight that never failed to make Charity smile.

  “You should see the way your face lights up when you see him. Whatever it is, you’ll fix it. You both love each other too much not to.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Cuddling against Beau, Charity enjoyed the ride back up the stairs, loving the feel of being held securely in his arms. Studying his profile, she smiled, sliding her hand into the front of his thick jacket and running the backs of her fingers over his chest. “You know, it’s kind of sexy when you carry me.”

  Without slowing, Beau glanced down at her, his eyes narrowed. “Is it?” When he reached the top of the stairs, his breathing hadn’t changed at all. “It won’t be if you wiggle and we fall down the stairs. Just be still so I can open the door.”

  Charity didn’t bother trying to hide her smile. “It’s not going to work, you know.”

  He glanced down at her as he opened the door and carried her inside. “What’s not going to work?” He lowered her to her feet and worked her jacket off of her, careful to ease it from her shoulder.