BOB's Bar (Tales From The Multiverse Book 2)

by Jay Allan

  “Fine!” Cain declared in Ellie’s tone before continuing…

  “Why did you land way down here, Briz?” Cain complained.

  “It’s equidistant between the two deposits,” the Rabbit said, dismissively waving a small furry hand.

  “Give us some eyes, Ascenti.”

  The Hawkoid flew from the clearing, gaining altitude with each wingbeat. Black Leaper, Cain’s lieutenant, ground his teeth. He carried a lightning spear, which was standard armament for the unit’s Wolfoids. Their paw-like hands were more suited to the weapon and it helped them to walk upright since they used it as a staff, too.

  “Something is wrong here,” Leaper yipped and growled. The vocalization device around his neck translated the speech into English. A small calico Hillcat stayed close, almost under Leaper’s feet.

  “I agree, Stinky. What do you think, Brutus?” he asked.

  I think the Wolfoid has sensed the locals, the ‘cat replied cryptically.

  Ellie carried the Hillcat Carnesto down the ladder from the shuttle pod. I wish Lutheann was here, the all-black creature said to no one in particular.

  “You are the most impatient ‘cat of the entire ‘cat species,” Ellie replied aloud, ruffling the hair behind his ears. Lieutenant Peekaless climbed down the ladder next, an all-white Hillcat in his arms.

  That’s better, Carnesto said.

  “Once the pounce is settled, do you guys mind helping us understand what’s going on? We came here to dig out as much ore as we can easily get. Outside of that, it would help if no one knew we were here, especially if they aren’t spacefaring.”

  They know you’re here, Brutus replied. We landed in a rocket! Have you forgotten how much noise that thing makes?

  “I haven’t forgotten, but I hoped the hills around us would block it.”

  “Wait a minute,” BA interrupted. “You travel with a bunch of cats who constantly give you shit. You are able to get dogs and cats working together as part of a combat unit, but you can’t keep the cats from giving you shit? Who’s in charge of your Marines?”

  “I am!” Artur announced. He fired off a half-assed salute, grinning happily, then shook his head. “I’m not, actually. Sure, I don’t even know what we’re talkin’ about. Carry on.”

  Cain pointed to Brutus lying in the middle of the table, eyes half-closed as if ready to sleep. He yawned, showing his impressive fangs.

  It’s a burden that I have to bear, he said.

  “Nice fangs. If you let them grow maybe you’ll be able to join the big girls club,” Charline remarked, nodding to Bethany Anne.

  The Queen tipped her glass in reply before taking a drink.

  Rika reached over her shoulder and tapped the barrel of her GNR-41C. “I only need one fang.”

  “Where was I?” Cain asked before continuing his story.

  Brutus, Carnesto, and Lutheann ran into the brush. “Wait,” Cain called fruitlessly. “Where are the locals, what are they, and what are they doing?”

  Follow us, was all Brutus said in reply.

  “Jolly!” Cain called toward the shuttle pod. “You know the drill: button her up until we get back.” He looked at the landing party. “And you, pick up the gear. We’re miners in addition to being Marines.”

  The Artificial Intelligence known as Jolly retracted the ladder into the base of the small torpedo-shaped ship and secured the hatch. Ellie pointed in the direction that the Hillcats had gone. Cain went first, and the others fell in behind him. Pickles brought up the rear, carrying a trident but no blaster. Lizard Men were notoriously bad shots, even with a great deal of practice.

  Cain had given up working with him, but the Lizard Men had a chameleon-like ability to disappear. It gave Pickles an edge the blaster didn’t.

  The group climbed a steep hill before crossing the top and heading down the other side.

  The locals? Cain reminded using his mindlink with the ‘cats.

  They look deer-like, but they’re intelligent. I wonder if they’re good eating? Brutus replied.

  You’re not eating the locals! Cain blurted. The ‘cat chuckled into the major’s mind. Do you think you can talk to them? Make peace so we can get the ore. I’m sure we have something they want. We can send down the second shuttle if needed.

  I can ask, if the mood strikes me.

  You are such an ass! Cain was in a bad mood too, but it was because they were treating a potential engagement on an alien planet so lightly. They had yet to land in a place where the locals didn’t take offense. They raced from one battle to another. Cain wanted to visit a planet where they didn’t have to carry their weapons, and could relax and enjoy the air and scenery.

  Enjoy the company of his wife. The last time they had tried to relax on an alien planet, he’d almost been eaten by a giant fish. He wondered if he would ever come to grips with perpetually being someone’s enemy.

  One of the locals is willing to talk with you, Brutus interrupted. In a clearing on the far side.

  “Lead on, Brutus. Everyone hear that?” They nodded. “As we approach, assume a diamond formation, I’ll be in the lead with Brutus. Stinky and Pickles on the wings. Briz in the middle, and Ellie watching our backs. Ascenti, you stay overhead and look for any surprises. ‘Cats, do what you do but stay close.”

  As they walked, Cain worked his way to the front. The others drifted toward their positions. “Briz, where’s your laser pistol?”

  “I don’t carry one of those,” came Briz’s soft voice from the vocalization device around his neck.

  “Every Rabbit in the history of sentient Rabbits carries a laser pistol.”

  “Not me. You know I can’t shoot one of those things. My strengths lie elsewhere.”

  “I know, but right now I feel like our strength is going to be called into action. Firepower is our friend. Every damn planet we go to has hostiles. You know the standard procedures better than anyone.”

  “I don’t carry a laser pistol, blaster, lightning spear, or any of that. You’ll just have to protect me. You’re Marine enough for both of us.”

  Ellie snickered as her eyes darted in every direction, never focusing for long on any one thing.

  “I guess I’ll have to be. Next time, Briz, bring the pistol.”

  “Next time, I won’t bring the pistol.”

  “Fine, then you can’t come.”

  “Fine. I don’t want to come. Unlike you, I’m perfectly happy on board the ship.”

  “Fine.” Cain ended the nonsensical conversation, regretting starting it in the first place.

  When they reached the clearing, he signaled a stop. The group found cover behind trees, watching their sectors carefully—the directions of three o’clock, six o’clock, and nine o’clock. Cain was at high noon and walked into the clearing side by side with the scruffy orange tabby called Brutus.

  A magnificent buck awaited them. Larger than the greatest of horses but leaner, it sported an oversized set of antlers, stretching over three meters from the ground.

  “I am pleased that you decided to meet with me. My name is Major Cain, and I’m from Cygnus VII. We are exploring the galaxy to find allies and friends, along with the best route to Earth.”

  I am disappointed that you have stopped here and invaded our land. You will surrender immediately and face your punishment. By allowing you to invade, we have opened ourselves to constant attack. An example must be made! Brutus used his telepathic ability to share what the buck had to say.

  Cain took a deep breath and looked at Brutus to assess the veracity of the buck’s claim. The ‘cat remained quiet, but he stared unblinking into the eyes of the local.

  “Are you under such threats often? Maybe we can help secure your territory.”

  We haven’t been invaded for two hundred years, but if we started allowing it now, who knows where it would lead?

  “Nowhere,” Cain replied coldly. “If you try to seize us, we’ll fight back, and that’s not something you want. Please don’t push us. All we want is
some rocks in the ground, a little ore that it appears you have plenty of. We’ll dig some out and leave.”

  Who are you to determine what we have plenty of? How dare you defile our sacred land!

  “My apologies. You are correct. It is incumbent upon us to get your permission before digging. It appears that we don’t have it, so we’ll be on our way.”

  “Wait!” Briz called from the trees. He hop-walked into the clearing. Cain tried not to look at him, but his big ears were hard not to notice. “I am Lieutenant Brisbois, Chief Engineer of the starship The Olive Branch. You have an incredible deposit of Quarillium, which is a molecule we’ve been experimenting with. When combined with dark matter, it has demonstrated properties to improve the efficiency of our interstellar engine by at least twelve percent. What are you willing to trade for the ore?”

  What a strange-looking creature, the buck said. It is more alien than the aliens.

  What do the aliens look like? Brutus asked, seeing an image of the creatures in the buck’s mind. Brutus’ hackles signaled his anger, and he shared the image with Cain. They were similar to the bots they’d seen on Heimdall.

  “When did you see these things, and how long were they here? They are extremely dangerous.”

  They didn’t bother us. They were here and then they were gone before we could intercept them. Enough talk. You’ll come with me.

  “We will not come with you. When did you see the bots? We didn’t think they had penetrated this far into our space.”

  You need to come with me, the buck insisted. He lifted his head and bugled.

  “I guess that means reinforcements are on their way.” Cain kept his hand on his blaster but didn’t remove it from its holster. The buck seemed both intelligent and simple. The bots had probably left them alone because there was no technology. The bots may have assumed there were no sentient species on the planet and thus no reason to commit assets. “We don’t want to fight you, because you won’t win. We’d like some of your ore, and we’ll restore the land in such a way that a year from now, you won’t know that we were ever here.”

  We’ll know.

  A commotion in the woods signaled the arrival of more natives. “Hold your fire!” Cain ordered.

  Now you will come with us. We must make an example of you.

  “I’m afraid not,” Cain said, finally pulling his weapon and taking careful aim. He dialed the weapon to the narrowest beam and fired, cleanly slicing off the buck’s rack.

  What did you do? the buck screamed into their minds.

  “Damn. That’s one hell of a warning shot,” Rika said quietly, glancing around the table.

  “Feck, you’re telling me. I do hope that’s the bullshit part of this tale because that’s just cruel,” Amanda agreed, looking troubled.

  “I told you that we’re not coming with you. We’re not to be made an example of. We won’t take your ore. You made that clear, but we’re not to be trifled with. We could be your best friend or your greatest enemy. Don’t make the wrong choice or you’ll never get the smell of burnt venison out of your nostrils.” Cain held his blaster in both hands, watching for an untoward move.

  A fireball appeared in the sky, and a light started flashing before his left eye.

  “Ellie? Jolly wants to talk to us. Can you take it? I’m kind of busy up here.”

  “The alien bot ship is in orbit. Cygnus-12 is hiding behind a moon, and the first of two bot shuttles has landed north of here.”

  The color drained from Cain’s face, and he did a mental inventory of the weapons they carried: Six blasters and a lightning spear. “Dump the mining gear. We have to get back to the shuttle and retrieve the rest of our firepower.” Cain turned to the buck and his people. “Get your people out of here. Hide until this is over.”

  We will do no such thing. This is our territory, and we will protect it.

  “Then you will all die.” Cain turned to leave. Over his shoulder, he said, “I can’t help but think they followed us here, and that makes it our responsibility to fix this. We will fight them with everything we have.”

  “That’s more like it,” Floribeth interrupted. “A little duty and honor. Going to deliver justice to some freaking metalheads. Continue your story, Major.”

  “As a metalhead, I think I resent that,” Rika muttered, giving the others a sidelong look.

  Cain returned the gaze, blinking in the light of the bar. He’d been lost in the story, so his mind was back on Q-475. It hadn’t been a pleasant landing. He had already come to the conclusion that no one in the universe liked aliens landing on their planet.

  Cain started talking again.

  They are going to follow us, Brutus told Cain.

  Then they do so at their own risk unless they can help us fight the bots. Maybe draw them into an ambush? Cain asked hopefully. Ellie was already running. The group maintained their diamond formation as they retraced their steps.

  I’ll see what I can do, Brutus said.

  Briz hopped along in the middle of the formation, barely avoiding trees since his attention was focused on communing with the AI via the enhanced data chip in his head.

  Stinky had picked up Penelope and was carrying her. She was a smaller Hillcat and not suited for long runs. How she had paired with a warrior like Leaper was beyond Cain, but then, the ways of Hillcats had always been a mystery.

  Brutus, Lutheann, and Carnesto loped along easily. Pickles ran in his shambling gait, but he was used to running and could maintain it for extended periods.

  The sky loomed heavy with the threat of rain.

  I can see where the shuttle landed. Nothing has emerged from it, Ascenti reported over the mindlink.

  How far is it from our shuttle pod to the bots? Cain asked.

  At least ten kilometers. Ascenti shared his mind’s image showing the intervening terrain.

  Can we get there before they leave the ship and spread out? Cain wondered.

  How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Ascenti replied.

  That’s what I figured. We’re running as fast as we can. Cain focused on the ground, taking care where he stepped. When they burst into the small clearing, Ellie asked Jolly to open the shuttle. Pickles, Stinky, and Briz were next out of the woods. Cain appeared last, scanning the ground for the ‘cats.

  The great buck, his antlers gone, appeared. Brutus, Lutheann, and Carnesto were riding on his back.

  BA held out her hand to stop the story. “No shit? I’m liking this little fucker more and more!” She scratched him under his chin.

  I may have to trade a major for a Queen, Brutus suggested.

  “I don’t take orders well,” BA said. “You’re probably better off with your boy scout. Let me guess, you don’t know what that is.”

  “I don’t,” Cain stammered before he found his voice. “You wouldn’t leave me, you little cretin! I could never be so lucky.”

  Brutus started licking his paw and wiping his face. Kelsey waved at BOB to bring another round. Cain’s glass was still full, so BOB dropped a nitrogen capsule in to refresh it. It was a galactic crime to waste good beer.

  Cain stared at the table as he lost himself in his story.

  Ellie climbed the ladder into the capsule and opened the two weapons lockers. She removed four more hand blasters, a small rocket launcher with six projectiles, and a bag of explosives.

  “Take it,” Cain ordered, handing a blaster to Briz and one to Pickles. He looked at the remaining two in his hand and gave a second one to the Lizard Man and one to the Wolfoid as a backup to his lightning spear.

  “If you can carry us through the woods, we can eliminate the enemy ship with the bots still on board,” Cain requested.

  I was the greatest among us, and now I’m the least. Without my antlers, I cannot withstand any challenge to my position. I am alone. I think the hostility you find on other worlds may be of your own creation. Cain looked into the woods, finding no other locals.

  They have scattered, which leaves us free
to do what we need to do, Brutus said sagely.

  “Some of our issues with the locals may have been our fault,” Cain admitted, “but we learned the hard way and lost too many good people. Those bots killed almost half my unit, half of the sum total of Cygnus Marines in the universe. They started the war with us, and I am under no misconception about being able to end it. All I want to do is win each battle without suffering catastrophic losses. We’ve sent so many of our friends’ bodies into space that I’ll be okay if I never have to do that again.”

  “We need to get going,” Stinky advised.

  “Button it up, Jolly.” Cain’s expression turned cold and hard. “We’ll be back.”

  Stinky put Penelope with the other ‘cats, riding on the buck. Cain was trying to think about fighting the alien bots while the Hillcats had befriended a way to avoid running through the woods.

  The Wolfoid took off, running on two legs so he wouldn’t outpace the others. None of them could have kept up if he were to run at full speed.

  Update, Ascenti, Cain requested.

  No movement.

  Are they dead?

  I don’t know if they were ever alive, but at least they are an easier target while they’re still in the shuttle. Do you think the rocket will destroy that shuttle? Ascenti asked. One of the Hawkoid’s wings was a biometric printed replacement for the original that had been blown off by a bot on Heimdall.

  “Hurry,” Cain implored his group. Pickles grunted and huffed, running as fast as he was able. Ellie kept pace. She was mostly unburdened, carrying only a small pack and two blasters. Cain had lightened his load as well. He didn’t expect this fight to drag out. He was hoping for a quick win.

  Pickles maintained the best pace that he could, but it turned out that it wasn’t good enough.

  Bots are leaving the shuttle. I count eight, and they are scattering.

  Pick a good spot for us to set up a hasty ambush.

  The Hawkoid circled lazily overhead, his eyes seeing the world below with exceptional clarity. Stop where you are. A bot is headed your way, but it isn’t moving too quickly. They seem to be unaware of our presence.